Big Box
A little silver bell rang as Twilight Sparkle pushed open the door of her favorite Ponyville mom-and-pop arcane supply shop. Desiccated crow skulls dangling from braided strands of spider silk bobbed and bounced against her horn.
“Just a minute!” An ancient voice, as dry as the bones hanging from the ceiling, called from behind a tattered curtain. It parted to reveal a wizened crone whose withered face split into a broad smile at the sight of her customer.
“Why, Twilight Sparkle!” She tottered over and gave the princess a fragile hug. “What brings you in today?”
“Oh, the usual.” Twilight trotted between the aisles, pausing to sniff at a bowl of fresh monkey paws marked half-off. “More gloom ink, maybe some wailing gems for Spike. Oh, get any new tomes?”
The crone sighed. “I’m afraid not, dearie. I can barely afford candles ever since that big-box arcana store moved in. I just haven’t got the customers any more.”
Twilight frowned and glanced out the window. Across the street, a steady stream of ponies flowed through the doors of the giant brick Barns and Noble magic supercenter. Goliath helium-filled spiders bobbed in the wind, each holding a “Ponyville Grand Opening!” sign in their fangs.
“Well, those ponies don’t know what they’re missing,” Twilight said. “Magic isn’t about corporations! Why, I bet there’s not a single vial of quality virgin blood in that entire store!”
“That’s a lot of virgin blood,” Rainbow Dash said. “There’s, like, fifty different flavors here.”
Twilight Sparkle scowled at the display before them. A sign hanging from the high, well-lit ceiling proclaimed it to be the Virgin Blood, Tears of Enemies, Flavored Fizzy Water aisle. Thousands of bottles lined the shelves.
“Earth Pony Mare, Pegasus Stallion,” Applejack read the names off the labels as she passed. “Lavender Unicorn Mare… Gosh, they take this serious.”
Twilight snatched a bottle at random with her magic. Dark fluid sloughed lazily inside the clear crystal, and the cap was sealed with a tight plastic wrap. It was a far cry from the corked, cloudy, bubbled glass vials in her favorite shop. Her eyes narrowed.
“Look at this.” She snorted and slammed it back on the shelf, rattling its cousins. “It was probably filled by a machine at a bottling plant.”
“Pretty cheap, though,” Rainbow said. “Aren’t you always complaining about how much virgin blood costs?”
“Well, uh…” Twilight snuck a glance at the prices and blinked. They were less than half what she normally paid. “Quality commands a premium.”
“Right.” Applejack set a hoof on Twilight’s withers. “Look, I know you love that little shop—”
“Everypony loves that little shop!”
“—but Ponyville’s a big town, now, and that means bigger stores. Times are changin’, and all.”
“But…” Twilight spun, taking in the enormity of the store. Dozens of aisles stretched away, filled with books and beakers and bunsen burners and everything else a magical laboratory needed. “There’s no soul here, Applejack! Nothing that cries ‘Ponyville.’ When you buy knives, where do you go?”
“Cutlery and Haemophilia Medication, just like my pappy did.”
“Well, what if they go out of business, because some big-box store like this starts selling more knives? Cheaper knives?”
“Aw, shucks, Twi. That ain’t never gonna happen. Why, every knife I’ve ever bought has been from that little store, and I’m never—”
“Hey, Applejack! Applejack!” Rainbow Dash’s voice sounded from the next aisle over. “Check this out! They’ve got, like, a million knives here!”
“Oh wow. Be right back, Twilight.” Applejack gave her another pat and trotted off.
Twilight’s ears sagged. She could see the future stamped on these bright, clean floors. In a few years the little mom-and-pop stores would all be gone, empty husks left behind. Where would she buy sparrow hearts, then?
“Excuse me, miss?” A high, scratchy voice interrupted her musing, and she turned to see an acne-dappled colt wearing a store vest. “Would you be interested in signing up for a rewards card?”
She sniffled. “What kind of rewards?”
“Anything in the store. Our live spiders are very popular.”
“You have live spiders?” Her favorite little arcana shop didn’t have live spiders. Theirs were all preserved in alcohol.
“We do. Fuzzy and spindly ones.”
“Oh.” She frowned and looked around the store again. It was filled with smiling ponies. Colts and fillies galloped around a special play area filled with foam monsters. From the far end of the store, the scent of fresh-roasted coffee teased her nose.
She sighed. “Sign me up.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.04 seconds
Total duration
1,130 users online
2,149,885 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Bittersweet, hilarious, and covered in blood.
Just like [insert hilarious punchline].
Man, I remember when our little dark magic shop got replaced with a big box store.
Sad times.
7550206
I know, right? That little place was great for meeting new friends, chatting about the latest spells, and finding esoteric tomes filled with dark unknowledge.
But then, like, that new store moved in, and they sell fairy wings at 20 bits per dozen. How are you supposed to resist that? That's just over three bits per fairy!
7550234 But hey, the Starswirlbucks has chairs and tables! Great for hanging around and showing off your haul without risking dropping the whole thing!
7550234
Then you realize that maybe the new store just has better fairy snares and they deserve your business for being so smart and you don't feel guilty anymore.
It's okay, Twilight. Just wait until they get the Maginet going. Even Barns and Noble will find it hard to compete with everfree.com.
Which reminded me about those guys: http://www.monstersupplies.org/products/salt-made-from-tears-range
...easily worth a favourite.
...extra points!
OK, not a favourite, just a thumbs up.
EDIT: Oh, bollocks, bollocks, I've already favourited this fic, fuck! I really hate these 'collection of short stories' format things. I love some of them and I hate some of them, how can anyone vote in those circumstances?
Oh my god, you wrote this?
You realize you were top of my slate. I was irritated this story didn't win.
You'd think Twilight would be able to get that brand at price, or maybe she's just squeamish.
I am going to the arcana store! I cannot wait!
YOU SAW NOTHING, KEEP MOVING.
7735153
Oh, so this is actually a tragedy. :B
God, that's one of the best scene transition jokes I've ever read though. :D