//------------------------------//
// How to Hold Your Lover's Hand 
// Story: I'm Afraid of Changeling (and other short stories) 
// by Cold in Gardez 
//------------------------------//

When Walking Through a Crowd

Be mindful that your pace may not be the same as his. As you walk beside him, shoulders touching, your arms will naturally come together, and you may choose between a ‘mitten’ grip or fingers individually clasped. The former is easier, but the latter is helpful when something catches his eye and he darts away, your hands pulling apart until only a single finger remains hooked around yours, and you realize in that moment how strong a single finger can be.

You may notice your hand feels cool and clammy when you let go of his. You may fix this by holding hands again.


On the Train

In the long pauses between conversations, you may lightly rub the pad of your thumb along the side of his index finger. The first few times you do this it may feel awkward that you are subtly and publicly reenacting the memory of last night, when your skin touched his and did far more as well without the bother of all those clothes.

And if your fellow passengers do mind, with frowns and disapproving glances, ignore them and keep holding hands.


At the Movie Theater

It is dark in here, and all eyes are on the screen, so what your hands do is between you and her. Push up the armrest between you and clasp your arms together, crossing at the elbow.

If this is a suspense or horror movie, hold tight. If it is a romance, hold firm. If it is a movie she always wanted to see but never had anyone to take, lean against her, and she will lean back, and you will be like two halves of an arch, each supporting the other.

If it is any other sort of movie, you have made a mistake and are in the wrong theater.


While Running Through the Park on a Spring Afternoon

Use the mitten grip and hold tight. Pretend his hand is a baton, and this is a race, and no matter what you mustn’t let go. 

Stick to the grass and remember to laugh. Try to run faster than him; if you can’t, then change directions abruptly and without warning. 


At Night, Looking Up at the Stars While Lying on the Side of a Hill

You must use the hand nearest to your lover in order to point to a particular star or trace a line across the sky. Generally, this is with the same hand you are using to hold hers, so when you point to a star you are pointing with her hand as well. You are pointing the way forward for two people.

This is an advanced technique and requires some practice.


When the News is Bad

Clasp both your hands around hers. Hold firm but not too tight while she listens to the doctor. She should be aware of your hands but not distracted. Unfortunately you will not be able to practice this before you need it. Good luck.


When Their World is Ending

Your hand may be the only anchor he has.  He may squeeze it, crushing it against his chest with both arms. It will hurt. 

Remember that the pain you feel is only a shadow. It is physical, and though your skin may bruise it is a small price to pay for any measure of solace you can provide him in this broken moment. When all other hands are turned against him, yours is not. 


When Your World is Ending

Everything seems lost. But if that were so, you would not have an arm to grasp, to hold against your heart.


When the World is Ending

Go outside with your lover. The stars in their splendor fill the sky above, and you remember the night you watched them with her, reclining on the hillside on a muggy August many years past. You pointed them out to her, tracing the constellations.

They are brighter now. The first one falls, leaving a searing streak across the darkness, so bright it casts shadows on the ground. You clasp your lover’s hand lightly, loosely down at your side, and together turn your eyes up to watch the sky come down. Another, and another, until the heat of their reentry burns your exposed skin, and you press your face against her shoulder, and she presses her face against your shoulder, and the world is ending but that’s alright because you are holding your lover’s hand and in the end that is all that