Dear Rainbow Dash,
I hope this letter finds you well. Things are mostly quiet here in Ponyville. The magical map has activated two more times since you left, and both times it sent Rarity off to Fillydelphia to solve some sort of fashion-related friendship crisis. I’m thinking of having an expert in magical artifacts examine the map for defects.
I’ve arranged with the city to take care of your house while you’re gone. Also, the city has decided to place you in the Weather Team’s inactive reserve squad until your return home. Cloud Kicker will be taking your place as captain.
The rest of us are well. We were all surprised, of course, when you left with Nutmeg, but after a bit of thought I realized why you had to leave. Air icebergs are a new and exciting field of magical meteorology, so it only makes sense that you would drop everything to learn about them and improve your skills as the Weather Team captain. I hope when you return we can spend hours exchanging notes and observations, and if you plan on writing any scholarly articles on air icebergs I will be happy to lend any assistance I can as an editor and proofreader.
I hate to close this letter on a negative note, but there is one bit of unpleasant business I need to address. When you left you still had several Daring Do novels checked out from the library in your name, and as of last weekend they officially became overdue. I understand this is simply an honest mistake on your part, that you were just so excited to study air icebergs that the books slipped your mind.
As Ponyville’s resident princess and, more importantly, its librarian, I can overlook these overdue books for a few days. However, if they are not returned by the end of the week I intend to seek a court order authorizing me to search your house for the books, seize them, and return them to the library.
Aside from that, things are great here. Can’t wait for your return!
Your friend,
-Twilight Sparkle
* * *
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Twilight won’t stop talking about those overdue books. I hope to Celestia they’re sitting in plain sight in your house, because otherwise I think she’s going to tear the place apart looking for them.
I have enclosed a piece of that caramel fudge you like so much. Enjoy!
-Spike the Dragon
* * *
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Darling, you simply must tell us about this stallion who has you so enthralled! Why, to think of it! I never imagined such a romantic gesture from you of all ponies, abandoning your home and your work to chase after a fleeting hope of true love! Oh, I’m getting giddy just thinking about it!
Now, I know you don’t think you need any advice on matters of the heart from me, Rainbow, but please accept these suggestions in the spirit in which they are offered. I may not be an expert in the ways of stallions and mares, but I like to think of myself as possessing a certain sophisticated outlook on such things.
First, do not appear too eager. Remember, you are the treasure here. Be at all times coy with your affections. Give him just enough hints to tantalize. Stay just out of his grasp until he has proven his worth to you.
Second, take every opportunity to demonstrate your finer qualities. By this I do not mean to brag, darling, as I’m sorry to report you sometimes have a tendency to do. What I mean is to show your beau your strength, your courage, your commitment to the job. For Celestia’s sake, try not to take naps all the time, as you are wont to do. Stallions cannot abide a lazy mare, just as mares cannot tolerate a slothful stallion. Make him always feel as though he is ever so inadequate compared with you.
Third, have a care for your appearance. I know living on a tiny airship means there probably aren’t many opportunities to do your mane and hooves, but—
Oh, drat, would you look at that? My cutie mark is glowing. Again! It’s that damn map. This is the third time this week. What more does it want? How many friendship catastrophes am I supposed resolve?!
I really need to ask Twilight to have someone take a look at it. I think it might be broken.
Anyway, darling, ta for now! Do write back if you have any exciting exploits with your new beau!
-Rarity
* * *
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I know it’s only been a few hours since my last letter, but I wanted to follow up with you regarding those overdue library books. Did you remember where you left them? Can we expect you back in Ponyville soon to return them?
Your friend,
-Twilight Sparkle
* * *
Rainbow Dash,
Hey girl, just wanted to drop a line and find out how you were doing out there. Sounds mighty exciting, flying around in an airship, hauling icebergs from one side of the sky to the other. I guess I can see why you’d take off and do that, rather than just stick around in this boring old farm town.
I’m enclosing some apples. Be good, now.
-Applejack
* * *
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I just wanted to let you know that Tank is doing fine. I was a little surprised to wake up with him on my doorstep like that, but I know how much of a hurry you must have been in to catch up with Mr. Nutmeg and his incredibly slow iceberg.
I’ll be happy to take care of him until you return. Please see the included photo of Tank giving Angel Bunny a ride around my yard. You can see how happy he looks.
Take care and be safe.
-Fluttershy
* * *
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I set up a box for your mail at the Ponyville Post Office, so it won’t stack up at your home. I also took the liberty of setting up a special account in your name at the Ponyville Bank to handle any credits or debts you may incur here while you’re gone. It will be very helpful when it comes time to file your taxes!
On an unrelated note, I wanted to ask about those library books again. They’re nearly three weeks overdue at this point, and every night I worry that some filly or colt is going to show up at the library the next day, wanting to check them out. And then I’ll have to tell them, “I’m sorry, but that book is already checked out.” And they’ll ask, “Well, when will it be back?” And I’ll have to say, “I’m sorry, I don’t know!”
Can you see how cruel that is, Rainbow Dash? It’s bad enough to go to a library to try and get a book, only for it to already be checked out. But if it’s overdue? The librarian doesn’t know when – or, Celestia forbid, if – it will ever be back!
Fortunately nopony has asked about those books yet, but it could happen any day. It’s not too late to prevent that nightmare from occurring, if you can just tell me where those books are. I searched your house for hours yesterday and couldn’t find them.
On a final unrelated note, I’ve hired a cleaning service for your house. They’ll be paid out of the new account I mentioned above.
Your friend,
-Twilight Sparkle