• Member Since 2nd Feb, 2012

Honey Mead


"In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.

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Total Words: 24,619,733
Estimated Reading: 9 weeks

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T

As far as Flurry is concerned, she's a perfectly normal filly with a pretty ordinary life. Sure, her house is somewhat larger than average and maybe there's the whole 'horn and wings' thing. But she goes to school with everypony else, her parents both do mostly-boring work for the local government and just like nearly every other firstborn, her father obsessively recorded her foalhood.

The photo albums are bad enough.

The crystal showcase galleries may have gone a little too far.



Absolutely not an entry for the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition, but was inspired by its existence.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
E

It's going to be the two of them together, for the rest of their lives. Riko Saikawa knows that. Just her and Kanna -- well, all right: her beloved's mother can visit every so often, the maid's probably coming along, there's nothing wrong with Miss Lucoa or Mr. Fafnir, and if Ilulu-san was maybe seven years younger, Saikawa might have fallen in love with her first. But ever since that first moment when Kanna entered Class 3-2, Saikawa's known. It's destiny. And anyone who might get in their way has to be stopped.

Today was supposed to be their playdate. And Kanna wants to show some stupid foreign kid around the city. That dumb boy doesn't deserve any time with her!

So what's the best way to get rid of this 'Spike'?



(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (8)
E
Source

This story is a sequel to Mi Amore Influenza


Over the course of a week in the City-State of Cloudsdale, a frustrated Mi Amore Cadenza makes a series of bad choices that kind of make her into a monster.

Also, she becomes a dragon at some point.

(A continuation of the Cadance of Cloudsdale cycle.)

Chapters (6)
T

There are six pony virtues. Six. And fortunately for the pickup artists, confidence stallions, and desperate of the world, there's also a lot of sapients who can't count that high. Princess Luna's Return produced a few side effects, and one of the more consistently annoying is a never-ending parade of those who claim to be the hitherto-unknown virtue of This Is Worth Some Free Drinks. Others take it further.

Division Seven is an international, multispecies effort, created in an attempt to find and discipline those charlatans. And ideally, to do so before something... happens.

The planet has strange ways of reacting to the presence of true Bearers.

Imagine how it might deal with some of the fakes...


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art created by RamblingWriter.

Chapters (2)
E

If there's a holiday, then somepony's probably overdecorated for it. The Greening has seen entire homes blend into the local grass, while Lambvent shrouds neighborhoods in wool and Hearth's Warming traditionally welcomes guests into homes through making it impossible to see where the front door is. But if Ponyville's going to get dressed up anyway, then Town Hall might as well have a little contest built around it. The mayor signed off on that.

Which meant there was a period of at least two seconds in which Marigold Mare completely forgot her town hosts the Bearers -- and that she'd just given them a reason to compete against each other.

Shall we count down to the inevitable one home visit at a time? In six, five, four, three...



(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Rated C for they don't celebrate Christmas Crackfic.

Chapters (1)
E

This story is a sequel to Resident Weevil


Oh, autumn. The season which has the Weather Bureau arrange for the temperature to fall below freezing overnight, followed by what almost seems to be random shifts of wind and climate during the day until you reach the point of perfect comfort -- which lasts for about three seconds. It's the sort of weather which a mare of dignity and taste can't possibly dress for without dragging a complete wardrobe behind her in a cart, along with optional changing booth. And Rarity's just a little fed up with this. Really, the eye twitches are hardly noticeable. And what's her solution?

Adjust the official schedule. After breaking into Rainbow's office.

Well, of course Twilight will help! What are friends for?



Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. While this story is tagged as a sequel, this just indicates that it takes place after those events: no previous reading is required.

Rated C for Cumulonimbus Crackfic.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

It's just not fair. He was the only one who truly understood the threat of the other species, the stallion who mobilized Maretime Bay in the battle for ultimate victory, and what did it get him? A criminal record and community service. And now the unicorns and pegasi are just moving around HIS city like they own the place and that's totally unfair. His mother should own the place (through having sold more anti-them stuff) and once she'd stepped aside? It would be Sprout time!

But nopony recognizes how vital he is. They expect him to pick up litter and worse, to do it before Hitch. They don't understand that ponies are meant to be afraid. All the time. Then somepony can be in charge. Like him. (Again.) And if they're not going to be terrified of wings and horns...

...what's an 'Ursa'?

Doesn't matter. He'll just go find out the Sprout way. By WINNING.


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art from a mark capture by SproutHooves.

Chapters (1)
T

This story is a sequel to A Confederacy Of Dunce Caps


He's her daddy. Hers alone, and... they've been alone for a long time. Father and daughter, with each as the only pony whom the other has in the world. As far as Diamond's concerned, that's natural. It's the way things have just about always been. (She was too young to remember anything else.) And therefore, that's how their lives should always be.

Except that now her father is talking about dating. He has his eyes on a mare, and that pegasus can barely keep one eye on anything. Diamond's had all of her father's love for just about the whole of her life, and if somepony else comes in, then... there's going to be less for her. That's just basic business sense. Limited supply, increased demand.

Her father wants to be with somepony again.

There has to be a way for Diamond to save him. Before it all goes wrong.



(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

This story takes place after the events of Anchor Foal and DELWMG, but no knowledge of either story is required.

Chapters (9)
E

There's a certain risk in sending this particular class of students on field trips, and Ponyville's school board is tired of seeing all of the disaster odds come through. So if the kids want to visit the Autarky Magic Center, then they're going to provide the security deposit. And that money can only come from one source: the classic school fundraiser. The corporate adults providing the 'chocolate' even promised a personal reward for selling lots of the stuff!

Cheerilee is putting Diamond in charge of the sales brigade.

The adults are going to regret that.



Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)
T

She just wants to get home. Explaining the group's actions during that last mission took hours longer than it should and now that the palace has finally been fully briefed, all Applejack has to do is make her way to the capital's central train station. Enter the Grand Gymkhana, catch the last westbound of the night and eventually, she'll be in Ponyville. Back on the Acres. Surely she can manage that much, even when stumbling through an empty city while half-lost within a thick winter fog. But the mists are making edges blur, and it's becoming so hard to perceive what truly is.

And then she finds somepony who can no longer truly see the world at all.

Tonight, Applejack is the enemy. And there can be no peace with those who already lost the inner war.



(A standalone, no-prior-reading-required part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)