Early one morning, Twilight Sparkle gets up to make some tea.

Sometimes, a cup of tea is just a cup of tea. This is not one of those times.

There's a crime wave gripping the sleepy town of Apple-Morepone, and nopony on the City Watch seems to care. Corporal "Rainbow" M. Dash naps through her patrols, her partner Dobby is an infamous kleptomaniac, Captain Rhymes is a drunkard, and the entire Watch is a group of burnt-out misfits.

They're about to meet a batpony (adopted) by the name of Carrot, visiting town to return an overdue library book.

And none of their lives will ever be the same.

A crossover/homage to the "City Watch" books of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, written to be readable without any familiarity with the series (though they're excellent, and if you do read them you'll catch my Pratchett in-jokes).

Winner of Aragon's "Comedy Is Serious Business" Contest! "I was quoting this offline for days, forgetting where I was remembering the lines from. … This story made me legitimately jealous, both of its cleverness and of its funniness." –Contest judge MrNumbers

Rated ★★★★★ by Louder Yay! "The best comedy I've read in a long time."

"Highly Recommended" by Super Trampoline! (Video review here @ 09:17) "It's 13,000 words long, but it doesn't feel long, because so much fun stuff is happening."

Reviewed by Ghost Mike! "It features meticulously laboured-over prose, rhyming with actual metre for Zecora, perfectly-timed jokes and reveals that are often outrageous, a sneakily clever plot and character investment that works its magic throughout ... This is a phenomenally executed piece of work."

Other reviews: Present Perfect | City of Doors

Thank you to Themaskedferret and Caliaponia for prereading, and GaPJaxie for motivation/inspiration!

Distance can drive us apart. It can also bring us closer together.

After all is said and done, and the ponies have gone their separate ways, the only way they have to keep in touch is through letters.

Original Equestria Daily post is here
Russian translation
Chinese translation
Polish translation
Spanish translation

Now with music and audiobook

Rainbow Dash naps, but Rainbow Dash isn't lazy.

A flash fiction peek into the brain of Rainbow Dash, hard at work, flying fast.

Octavia is pointed in the direction of Carousel Boutique by a respected colleague. She intends to commision matching uniforms on behalf of her ensemble leader, the esteemed Frederic Horseshoepin. Octavia has misgivings however, when informed that the boutique in question is in Ponyville, a backwater farming town.

Can the proprietor of Carousel Boutique prove to the Canterlot mare that she has what it takes?

Her service has ended, her armor removed and tucked away deep in a locked chest beneath her bed. But Fizzlepop Berrytwist hasn't escaped her past just yet. Memories of actions taken in the Storm King's service haunt the mare formerly known as Tempest Shadow.

But a tiny sparkle in the shadows lights the way to a new future.

A story written for my patrons, as voted upon by them.

Artwork originally by 1racat.

A natural-sensuous beauty the likes of which this pegasus had never seen. Smoldering teal eyes and an inviting smile full of sharp, pearly white teeth and gleaming fangs, a picture quite fetching for any pony drawn to such feminine wiles. Too bad he's not sure if he should trust the accused, changeling or not.

Fortunately, she's more interested in winding him up each and every time he brings her lunch while she awaits trial.

Preread by Rossby Waves.
Written for SPark's Twilight SParkle's Secret Shipfic Folder contest.

Celestia prepares for another routine day at the castle with the recent addition of teaching her new, young student. However, an impromptu structure made from books causes a slight change of plans.

Inspired by the cover art and it's description, both used with permission from the wonderful Nova Quill.

Twilight wasn't one to sit alone in bars and stare at an empty glass. On the one rare occasion she found herself in that position, however, she thought to herself that though breaking up with somepony hurt, it was far worse when it didn't hurt at all.

Small writing exercise to vent out my frustrations at life.

In a world of snakes and ladders, Rarity has had to learn a single, simple fact:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single mare who desires recognition and success must, without a doubt, be a social-climbing bitch.

Edited version of my entry to Everfree Northwest's Iron Author competition. Special thanks to Swan Song for the encouragement, support, and for believing in this story strongly enough to throw money at it when I was ready to give up on it.

Amazing cover art by the fantastic lilfunkman