Fat Stacks… of Books
Chapter 5
Soon, the impressive tower of books that had taken up a great deal of space in the middle of the library was put away. However, a rather different structure had begun to take its place. This structure was not nearly as tall, raising only slightly higher than Celestia and as long and wide as it was high. In fact, the structure was almost a perfect cube containing the solar princess. A perfect cube save for a small open ‘window’ that was being ‘booked up’ hardback by hardback as Twilight meticulously fit each tome together like a series of bricks.
“For the love of me, Twilight!” Celestia cried in an attempt at terror that came off perhaps just a tad too mirthful.
Giggling to herself, Twilight lifted another book and placed it in the open space that was quickly disappearing.
“Yes,” Twilight replied with a wicked grin on her face, “for the love of, um, you!”
‘SLAM!’
Celestia watched as the doors to the library once again flew open causing Twilight to let out a startled squeak and drop the book she was floating into place. This time Celestia happened to be facing the doors and had a perfect view of Kibitz storming into the library, a haggard Raven Inkwell trailing behind with a distant look on her face.
“PRINCESS CELESTIA!”
“Oh for Pepper Preen’s sake, Kibitz! Library!” Celestia said.
Storming up to the cube prison, Kibitz glowered up at the small opening where little more than Celestia’s amethyst eyes and a few strands of wavy hair could be seen. With an alarmed “Eep!” Twilight’s horn glowed once more. With a small flash of purple and a ‘pomff!’ Celestia soon found her ‘book cell’ contained one more occupant who was huddling at Celestia’s feet. Celestia lowered a wing to comfort the startled purple filly as she continued to look out the small portal afforded to her.
“I MUST insist you come to the throne room at once!” Kibitz cried. “Today’s proceedings have been an absolute disaster!”
“Well…” Celestia instinctively lowered her head a bit as a devilish smile beamed out from her face with all the power of the sun. “I would, but you see” — Celestia’s smile suddenly went supernova — “I’m all booked up at the moment.”
Kibitz attempted to grunt in disapproval, scoff, and, if Celestia was not mistaken, ‘harrumph’ all at once, but the combined actions seemed to jam up in his throat coming out as an angry guttural sound. At once, Kibitz made an about face and began to march back the way he came. “Ms. Inkwell,” Kibitz said in a tone of remarkably even tenor, “please inform the Princess of your statements to Prince Purple Robes.”
At the name ‘Purple Robes’, Celestia’s ears immediately perked up. Prince Purple Robes was Celestia’s nephew on her mother’s side, at least 50 or more times removed. Still, the distant link to royalty made the pony a royal pain who no doubt took the absence of herself from court to try to push for some outlandish special privilege of some sort.
Guilt assailed Celestia with hurricane strength winds as she took a long hard look at Raven, noting her once professional-looking bun was now almost completely undone and laying limply against the side of her head. The poor pony appeared as if she’d weathered the worst of a heavy storm and looked at Celestia with an expression the Princess usually only saw from ponies who had broken the law and now sat in front of the monarch to await judgement.
In a measured and gentle voice, Celestia spoke, “Please Raven, what was it that you said to Purple Robes?”
“Well… I… er… I didn’t think he deserved ‘free box seat tickets to all Wonderbolt shows from now until the sun burns out’.”
Celestia nodded. “It was quite reasonable of you to deny that request.”
Raven swallowed and continued. “Well, when I did he got mad and um, called me a ‘low-bred commoner pony not fit to shine his horse shoes,’ he... erm, then went on in great detail about the many expensive, jewel-encrusted shoes he had.”
Celestia felt her left eye begin to involuntarily twitch as she did her best to keep her composure. “I see. Did you remind him that you were a Temporary Super Duchess by order of Princess Celestia, and therefore outranked him?”
“No… but Kibitz did…”
Celestia grinned and turned her head away from the opening. “That sly dog…” she muttered.
“Excuse me, your highness?”
“Nothing! What happened next? What did you say?” Celestia said, the slightest hint of anticipation entering her voice.
“… Is Twilight Sparkle in there with you?”
Celestia looked down at the young filly who stared up at her with wide, wondering eyes. “Yes she is,” Celestia replied.
“I, er, okay then… Well, I suggested he take my clipboard...”
“… That doesn’t sound bad… or even make much sense.”
“…and shove it… in a place.”
“Oh.”
“…sideways…”
Celestia closed her eyes and clamped down on her teeth hard as her entire head began to shake. Oh, if only there were two of me that I might have witnessed that…
“I’m… I’m so, so sorry to let you down Princess! I’ll go home! You’ll never have to see me again! Please don’t banish me from Canterlot! It’s my home and—”
“You should have made that a royal decree.”
“—I’ve lived here my entire life, andWhat?!”
“The part about the clipboard,” Celestia said. “I empowered you with a noble rank, if temporarily. You should have made it a decree…”
Raven stared at the princess in bewilderment.
“Also you’re hired.”
Princess Celestia was sure that if Raven’s lower jaw wasn’t firmly attached to the rest of her, it would have hit the floor.
“As my new aide,” Celestia clarified. “Not as a Permanent Super Duchess… tempting as that might be to promote you as such.”
Raven smiled brightly. “Yes, Princess! I won’t let you down!”
Celestia nodded. “I know you won’t, now go home and rest up. Tomorrow I’ll expect you to report to Kibitz bright and early. He’ll be expecting you.”
Raven nodded one last time. “Thank you, Princess Celestia! I look forward to working with you!” Raven bowed quickly and did an about face, trotting towards the library doors.
“Oh, and Raven?” Celestia called out.
“Yes, my princess?” Raven replied as she turned to look over her shoulder.
“Bring a clipboard,” Celestia said, tilting her head up so her wry smile would show in the book wall.
Raven closed her eyes and smiled wide as she turned and exited the library, closing the doors behind her.
Celestia looked down at her student and smiled, allowing a dim glow to emanate from her horn and light up the small confines of the book cube the two found themselves in. “Well, my dear student? What now? Perhaps we can take advantage of our little private, if perhaps a little too cozy, confines here and quietly read a book or two?”
Twilight continued to look up at Celestia with an oddly blank expression on her face. “Don’t you need to get back to your royal duties?”
Celestia smiled and shook her head. “I don’t think there’s any recovery from a prince being told he should shove a clipboard up his...” Celestia trailed off, looked away, and cleared her throat. “Experience has taught me it’s better to let everypony rest a bit after a day like today and pick things up tomorrow.” Celestia scanned the walls, and upon realizing Twilight had faced all the books with their spines outward scanned the ceiling for a title that might be interesting. “So, is there anything up here that you’d like to quietly read?” Celestia smiled. “Or perhaps something I can read to you…”
“Erm, um… That sounds really great and all but…” Twilight averted her eyes from Celestia and hoofed the ground with a sheepish expression on her face.
Celestia looked down at Twilight, a look of motherly concern crossing her face. “What is it, Twilight?”
“…I kind of need to go to the bathroom,” Twilight murmured.
“Oh,” Celestia said. “Me, too,” she added.
After a trip to the mare’s room and another round of book reshelving, Celestia found herself walking the halls of Canterlot Castle, Twilight merrily scampering alongside her as they made their way back to Celestia’s private quarters.
“So, Twilight? What would you like for lunch? I can have the castle staff make anything for you. Anything at all.”
“Grass and daisy sandwich!” Twilight answered excitedly.
Celestia smiled down at her student. “You can ask for something a bit more substantial than that.”
Twilight paused thoughtfully for a moment, then replied, “Grass and Daisy sandwich with the crusts cut off!”
Celestia laughed mirthfully to herself, stopping as Twilight let out another startled squeak and dove behind her legs. “Twilight?” Celestia said looking behind her. “Whatever is the matter?” Celestia looked ahead, the answer becoming immediately clear as Kibitz trotted down the hall pushing a stainless steel cart topped with a silver platter under a silver dome and a cake in a glass dome. “I see.” Celestia smiled. “It’s alright Twilight, Kibitz won’t yell and he’s certainly not going to be cross with you.”
“… Really?”
Celestia nodded. “Yes, really. Now come out.”
Cautiously, Twilight emerged from behind Celestia and stood next to the alicorn Princess. Kibitz stopped his cart right in front of the pair. “Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle,” Kibitz said cordially. “I’ve taken the liberty of preparing lunch for you.”
Twilight smiled sheepishly up at the much older unicorn as Celestia favored Kibitz with a dignified nod. “Thank you, Kibitz. Your timing is impeccable as always,” Celestia said. “Now, I’m sure I don’t have to inform you that Raven is now a permanent member of castle staff.”
“Yes, I anticipated as much,” Kibitz replied as he removed the glass cake dome from a double-layered cake heaped with white frosting. “I’ve already began preparing for her start as a proper aid tomorrow.”
“Perfect. Oh, and Purple Robe—”
“Banned from Royal Court for the next two months,” Kibitz informed as he held aloft a plate, fork, and large knife in a brilliant light-blue glow.
Celestia let out a sound that was mix between a scoff and a laugh. “You’re too nice.”
“Indeed,” Kibitz said as he cut a small slice of cake, placed it on the plate, and floated both plate and fork down to Twilight.
Celestia looked down at the plate in confusion. “Kibitz, why serve us in the hall? You know we can take the cake—”
‘SPLAT!’
“—Hwfere…” Celestia said through the two layers of cake which had just been unceremoniously propelled into her face. With a yellow glow, she removed as much of the cake as she could in a single, if rather mushed and haphazard, piece. “On my face is fine… I deserve this.”
Kibitz nodded a couple times. “Indeed.”
Twilight looked up at Celestia and Kibitz, her surprised eyes now wide and fixed solidly on the pair, though this didn’t stop her from shoveling forkful after forkful of cake into her mouth.
“Now, if you currently have no need of me,” Kibitz said as he walked past Celestia and continued down the hall. “I’ll excuse myself.”
“Kibitz!” Celestia called out after the unicorn.
“Yes, my princess?” Kibitz replied without turning.
“You’re the best.”
“I know, my princess,” Kibitz replied.
Celestia looked down at Twilight, a thick layer of frosting still covering her face. “Well, my little student. Have you learned anything about treating other ponies with respect?”
Twilight swallowed a bit of cake and pondered this briefly. “Today I learned that if you’re mean to somepony, sometimes you get banned from activities, sometimes you get cake thrown in your face, and sometimes you get promoted.”
Celestia’s smile faded and her eyes drifted upwards slightly. “I suppose today has been rather inconsistent in that regard.”
“Princess Celestia?” Twilight began in an imploring tone. “Can we go back to the library tomorrow?”
Celestia contemplated this request momentarily. “To read, or to build?” she asked.
“Yes,” Twilight replied simply.
Celestia pursed her lips as she mentally fished for a file marked ‘Self examples of being a responsible adult role-model’ and opened it to see that it was remarkably barren.
“Of course,” Celestia answered. “I don’t see why not.”
The End.