Discord has one friend. One. A single tie binding him to Equestria, a lone strand of pink tail hair keeping him in some sort of line. His interest in the world's welfare may exactly equal that of his friend's lifespan -- unless there's a next generation for him to adore. And so in the name of the realm's survival, Fluttershy is going to start dating, with Equestria's greatest expert in attracting ponies as her very reluctant prison-sentenced advisor. All Fleur has to do if she ever wants to come home again is get the world's most socially hesitant pony happily married off and pregnant, while constantly keeping Discord in the dark about what's truly happening.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Cover art by Harwick. Please contact him for commission rates.

"The first thing new students of the Great Ponyville Homecoming Holiday Riot may wish to fix upon their minds is that ultimately, Mr. Rich's intentions were good and thus it could be said that in some ways, what happened was not truly his fault."

Black Friday comes to Equestria.

Once.

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This story is a sequel to Barnyard Barge-Ins

Shopping carts cost money. Nopony outside the staff at Barnyard Bargains seems to understand that. Carts are taken deep into Ponyville, repurposed for any number of activities, never seen again... and Mr. Rich is sick of buying replacements. So it couldn't hurt to use a few new magical and mundane methods of keeping them around, could it? No harm whatsoever possible?

The two-word answer: 'It's Ponyville.'

(While this story takes place after Barnyard Barge-Ins, it can be read as a stand-alone: no knowledge of those events is required.)

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It's all in the color, isn't it? We've seen it time and time again. There's a certain limited range of shades which guarantee survival. In fact, that part of the color wheel means staying in the world whether you want to or not, even if you should have passed on long ago.

So in the end, it's not that her fur means Fluttershy CAN'T die. It's more that the network isn't going to LET her.

(Original story inspiration by Fan Of Most Everything.)

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It's a simple thing, really. Celestia and Luna would normally do it, but the palace has been rather busy of late. So all Twilight has to do is go to Baltimare and officially launch three ships, because launching ships is one of the official duties of a Princess. What could be simpler?

After Twilight instinctively chooses the wrong definition of 'ship' and desperately asks a friend for help? Just about anything.

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Most ponies believe there's only one route to the Elements: gather a team of six, have each member demonstrate a vital virtue, then find and activate the magic. As it turns out, there's actually two.

You can grind.
Or you can start spending money.
Decisions, decisions.

(Now with author Patreon page. Also, as of this posting, trying out Ko-fi tips for the first time. Does anyone know how to embed that button?)

Pinkie, as a baker, can make toast. Once you justifiably discard Sweetie Belle, just about anypony can make toast. So what is it about Pinkie's toasting skills which has this new stallion so fascinated as to try and ensure she'll never make toast for anypony else again?

Well, whatever it is, let's just hope his obsession somehow gets him killed off before any possible sequel.

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(Cover art by Miss Dior, found on Favim, located thanks to happy coincidence.)

It's one of the highest services a pony can aspire to.

Some ponies shouldn't aspire that high.

Audiobook performance by ObabScribbler.

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This story is a sequel to Tales Of The Canterlot Deportation Agency: A Typical Day

There's a motive behind every deliberate human incursion into Equestria. For the humans coming from Jack's world, it tends to be profiteering, combined with a total lack of empathy and inability to care about anyone who's not making at least three billion dollars per year. Every day, the sum of that equation is measured as lost lives in the shadowfell, and all which keeps the total from climbing higher on the pony side is a single high school student and his newfound friends. Or rather, a group of assistants and the bundle of chemicals which sometimes wears Jack's skin.

The chemicals may be insane. And that madness just might be the only way for Jack to survive.

(Has a TVTropes page and character sheet. New edits welcome.)

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One day, Fluttershy discovers that every time a pegasus flaps their wings, a kitten dies. Surprisingly, she has a problem with this. So naturally, the only thing to do is make sure nopony will ever flap their wings again. In the name of the innocent, defenseless kittens.

You wouldn't think that would be the act which nearly destroyed Equestria...

Written for Crackfic Week. (You did know it was Crackfic Week, right?)

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