The Present Is Prologue
don't look at me
The first instinct was to run, and perhaps that was why she pulled back from the bridge's little border wall, had all four hooves planted on level stone again. But all the motion did was remind her of just how hurt her legs truly were. Strained muscles from the backlash, with those injuries exacerbated by the earlier gallops. All of her hooves were chipped, one was cracked and possibly split...
She was cold. Weary. She felt strangely ancient, as if all the moons of her life had been calculated as seconds and each had been told to equal a year: something which gave her an age fit to shame Celestia. And she was hurt.
(She always hurt.)
Running was an option. But she wouldn't have been able to keep it up for long, her charge would have very little trouble following from the air until a wild zone was reached and even then... there was no point. She could always be found.
So she remained where she was, standing on cold stone. But she wouldn't look at her charge. There was going to be pain in that one visible blue-green eye, whichever one it was this time, and she didn't want to see it.
She didn't want her charge to see her.
I thought we were talking for the last time, just before I tried to kill him.
There wasn't supposed to be anything after that.
It would have all just -- stopped.
And she heard me say --
-- this isn't fair...
...I deserve it.
The settled zone had been evacuated, and Discord had suggested some degree of privacy was being temporarily enforced. There was nopony else present to hear whatever would be said next. Nopony else to see Fleur, caught in the open air without the slightest hint of makeup, without any degree of protective camouflage, for the first time in years.
But there was one pony there. A sole witness. So the Protoceran didn't look at the pegasus.
Softly, a level of volume where most of the scant decibels were carried by endless waves of concern. "...Fleur?"
Pale violet eyes watched the river.
"...Fleur... please look at me..."
The flow of wreckage seemed endless. That was what the unicorn did. She wrecked things. Lives. It would almost be at the level of a talent, except that her strongest results seemed to appear when she was trying to do anything else --
"...please..."
It was the soft sob which did it. Which made Fleur's head turn, something which initially happened without her full awareness and by the time she recognized what was taking place, it was too late to stop it. Her head had turned, her body followed, and all the pain of movement gained her was the view of moisture welling up to cover both eyes --
both
There was a moment when the mares, who were about three body lengths apart, simply looked at each other. Nothing more.
And then Fluttershy smiled. Something small, soft, and a little sad as a tear was blinked away -- but still a smile.
"...so there you are..."
Fleur's eyelids squeezed shut, and did so at the same moment her head tilted left and down.
"...Fleur?"
"Just go."
Silence for a moment, and then the former escort heard a hoofstep. One which, as far as Fleur was concerned, had been in exactly the wrong direction.
"...I -- have to say some things," her charge gently stated. (A waft of a voice, the drifting suggestion of need.) "...I don't think any of them can wait. We -- both have to talk, I think. But this time, I think I have to talk first. It's..." Another hoofstep. "...something I wouldn't try normally, but..."
Fleur listened to the quiet breath. In, out.
"...nothing about the last cycle has been normal... has it?"
The last thing Fleur had been expecting was the sound of her own laugh, something which stopped at the moment she recognized the sound. It left a single sharp note echoing across the bridge, and the sheer bitterness of it...
"No."
Fluttershy sighed, just a little.
"...you're tired," the pegasus said. "You've been tired for weeks --"
"-- that's not why it happened," Fleur harshly interrupted. "Don't make excuses for me --"
"-- I know that's not it," Fluttershy cut in. "Not for what happened last night, or today. It means I understand why you laughed just now. When you're tired, the strangest things start to seem funny. And even your own thoughts... they can feel like they don't quite make the same kind of sense. When... the officers were..." The gulp was audible. "...carrying you out on the litter... at one point, I thought 'At least if she's unconscious, she won't have a choice. She'll finally get some rest...'"
Fleur's lips briefly, involuntarily quirked.
"...except you didn't," the pegasus sadly went on. "I heard you. The whole time. Screaming over and over, screaming in your sleep --"
Violet eyes slammed open, and the white head jerked forward. Centered.
Every secret gone. Every last --
"How did you --"
They were looking directly at each other again.
There's debris in the river. Some of the paint is old enough to flake. If I just broke it down into a powder --
"...Miranda didn't want to let me," Fluttershy quietly said. "She said there was a small chance it could do something to the case later. But I was upset, and... I sort of -- stared my way in."
Fleur, with no true way to apologize for the emotional end of it, found herself examining the last part of the final sentence from multiple angles. Turning it over and over in her head, looking for the perspective from which the concluding four words made sense.
"You what?"
Nothing had worked.
"..and... we had to weave a little, coming through town to the police station," her charge continued. "To pick up a doctor, who could look at your backlash injuries." A little more quickly, "You were hurt. You're more hurt now. You strained yourself, and I can see that hoof. Fleur, when we're done here, I need to get you to a doctor --"
"-- you what?" was meant to press the point.
'Nothing' picked up some company. "-- and once we had that, the new path to the station took us past the Boutique. Rarity... there's times when her hours are as bad as mine. It's almost Hearth's Warming, and a lot of ponies order dresses. Some of them order for the ones they love, as surprise gifts. Things which are so much of a surprise, the giver doesn't want to risk the recipient getting any hints. Trying to get any measurements would be a hint. It means Rarity's up all night, trying to work it out from pictures, if there's even a picture at all. She heard us go by outside, she looked out, she saw how upset I was, and... I got us both in, because nopony knew Sweetie had been involved yet and I just -- stared. Or I made it look like I was willing to stare."
Fleur's mind responded to the sudden presence of the seamstress in the recounting through losing part of the thread.
She heard me screaming.
With a surge of internal horror, Rarity heard me.
"...we... kept each other going for a while," the pegasus quietly finished. "And we couldn't block the speaking tubes, because we had to know when you woke up. So it was just hearing you scream, for hours..."
It took a moment for Fleur to get control of her jaw back.
"You were on the upper level," currently seemed to be the most important part.
"...listening."
The coral mane shifted across the minimal length of the bare nod.
She was eavesdropping.
I didn't teach her that --
-- everything, she knows everything
please go away
All four of Fleur's knees were trembling. Pain, added to the instinct which demanded that she run. But she was more than her instincts, and there was still nowhere to go.
"...Miranda... I mostly told her that she could finish questioning me as a witness after she talked to you," Fluttershy admitted. "But part of it was a stare. Or letting her think I would. And the rest is..." A deep breath. "...being a Bearer. I think I... get away with a little more than I should. Because of the palace, and the necklace, and... everything. So I would wait for her. To speak with you first. But I would wait in her office, because that's where the speaking tubes go. And Rarity was just -- keeping me company, because I was so upset. That was how it went for hours. Until you woke up, and... talked..."
The tremble had taken over more of Fleur's body now. Intensified, to the point where she was now wondering if it was possible for the whole thing to shake her apart --
-- but Fluttershy was just standing there. Looking at her, and there were tears making their way down saturated tracks of fur --
don't cry
I'm not worth
-- but she wasn't running. As befit the strongest pony in the world.
"A witness," was what Fleur's flailing thoughts jaw-clamped onto. "You told her about my trick. She probably asked you what I said to you, just before it --"
Placid. Calm, other than the ongoing flow of tears. A mere statement of fact. "-- I saw you attack him."
Fleur's legs gave out.
All four folded at the same time, sent her crashing to the stone. Pain jolted through ribs, belly and barrel, but she barely noticed any of it as her head turned away from the sight of her charge and violet eyes began to squeeze shut again --
-- and then Fluttershy was in front of her. Less than a body length away, quickly lowering herself into the cold. Fleur had never seen her move.
"Don't --"
There were times when her charge was very loud indeed.
"-- listen."
Fleur looked up. Forward, and it took a breath to realize she hadn't meant to --
"...you signaled him in front of everypony who was in the sitting room, Fleur: everypony." The usual hesitation to start, but speaking much more quickly after that, with a strange degree of force. It was like hearing somepony attempting Minotaurus: a soft scream. "And some of them went off to find Miranda, for the same reason a few others went to tell me. Because they didn't understand what was happening, Fleur. They didn't know why you'd done it in front of everypony, not when --"
The pegasus stopped. Took a single sharp breath, and let the rest go.
"-- not when they knew we were together."
The unicorn's eyes now felt as if they would never close again. The corners had to be bleeding from the strain...
"...what?" the guardian involuntarily imitated her charge.
It was a very small smile: something which did nothing to diminish the beauty of it.
"...Fleur," Fluttershy whispered, "as much as half the town probably thinks we're a couple. They've believed that for weeks, some of them, and the numbers... just keep going up. They went for Miranda, and they tried to find me, for the same reason: they thought you were cheating on me. It shocked them, it scared a few ponies. They... wanted us to be together, and they didn't understand. So they found Miranda, and asked her to follow you. I'm not sure what they expected her to do, but... that's what comes with her mark. It's like being a Bearer: they expect you to be the one who does something. And they told me, and... I didn't understand."
Another tear fell.
"...I was going to go outside, try to get a view from the air. But I didn't want to try and get through the sitting room. So I went to one of the exit windows at the back, and..." A gulp of air, one which didn't seem to take in enough oxygen to do anything real. "...I didn't get it open in time..."
There were too many thoughts in Fleur's head, and the horror should have won. Just knowing that Fluttershy had witnessed all of it, seen her attempting to commit murder, seen Fleur exposed well before the last of the cosmetics had been taken away. Seen what lurked under the skin.
There was horror -- but for a single moment, that reaction was almost crushed under the monstrous weight of recognition.
Nopony flirting with me. Ponies just waving their forelegs in greeting.
What reason was there for a pony like Fleur to be at the cottage? What purpose was there in anypony with Fleur's looks working as a veterinary assistant? They were the sort of questions which should have been constantly arising in pony minds, and the former escort finally understood why so little had ever reached the actual voices. Because the town had decided on its own answer: a delusion gone collective, spreading through the herd until too many living parts of the massmind decided it had to be the truth. Something which also told Fleur why the town had been treating her differently, casually. It was the same answer for everything.
Nopony's been trying to win my favor because they decided I was already taken.
It was the instant when Fleur understood why Laughter was an Element: because it had the potential to match Honesty's cruelty. There was torment to be found in this level of jest, where the thing she could never have was what most of a town had assumed she'd already attained...
"...you're crying."
The stone was cold. The world was cold. She was from a land where date palms flourished, with winter as nothing more than a time of pleasant coolness. You worked a little harder, trotted that much faster, and your own body compensated for the lowered temperature with something very much like pleasure. There was no reason for this level of chill to exist, none except the desire to inflict pain.
"Just go away..."
The pegasus shook her head. The lowered mane shifted across the stones.
"...Fleur... you have to look at me..."
It was the unicorn's time for denial. She had turned to the side, just enough so that she knew of Fluttershy's movements through peripheral vision alone. A pony had good peripheral vision, while a griffon --
-- I shouldn't be like this --
-- I should just be dead --
she can't be here
she can't be there when they execute me
she can't
"...I remember when I first saw you," her charge softly said. The yellow body shifted forward. "Coming towards me, when you found me talking to Angel and Volney. You're... a little intimidating. I'm sure you know that. I know there's times when you use it. You're so tall, and... beautiful."
Something Fluttershy had said before. But the tone --
"...and I was scared," the pegasus quietly admitted. "Not just because I'm -- almost always scared. Because I knew what was about to start. I'd asked the Princess for help, and... I wanted to turn back. To call everything off, because it was going to be so hard. I was scared of that, and -- I was afraid of you."
Fleur wasn't sure what kind of sound she'd just made. It seemed to have been caught at a midpoint between snort, sniff, and sob. Three equal forces pulling on the noise, trying to tear it apart.
"And I hadn't even tried to murder anypony yet," rushed out on a fierce tide of darkness, in the hopes of pushing the pegasus away.
But Fluttershy didn't move.
"...I was afraid," her charge gently continued, "because... I thought I knew who you were."
This time, the bitter laugh didn't even reach a full note before Fleur managed to cut it off. "The one who was going to start pushing you --"
Calmly, "-- the blackmailer."
Fleur's breath caught in her throat. Breath, blood, and heart. She had to force the words past them, and it made every syllable into broken glass.
"You..." She couldn't look directly at Fluttershy. Nothing could have forced her to see what kind of expression was in those eyes. "You told me that... she only said..."
"...I lied," Fluttershy placidly stated. "I'm not Honesty, Fleur. And I'm... very hard to read..."
She was having trouble breathing. Ribs were heaving in and out, nothing seemed to be reaching her blood, and visions of a first meeting swam before half-shut eyes.
"You told me --" Fleur could barely hear herself now, was straining to acknowledge the world as the past roared in downward-pressed ears. "-- Celestia just said... I wasn't nice..."
(It felt like the worst word in the world.)
"...yes," Fluttershy agreed. "And then she told me why."
Fleur heard the incredible tail slowly swish across the stone.
"...she said -- to be very careful with you. To make sure you weren't using me, or any of the others. But... she also asked me to give you a chance. Because -- she thought you were scared." Almost placidly, "Fleur, I knew about your talent fourteen hours before you stepped onto the grounds. Because the Princess said I had to know, and gave me the chance to turn you away. But she also said... I didn't need a nice pony for this. I needed somepony who... wasn't nice. And that when it came to not being nice, maybe even at the right times, when nice would be... wrong... you were the best pony anypony could have asked for. But she would understand if I didn't want to take that chance. And I was afraid, I was so afraid, I was trembling in front of her and I hate doing that, because she might decide I was afraid of her... but I wanted to trust her. So... I said yes. She told me she would send you. And she did."
I was trying. When she talked to me that first day, I was trying to figure out if she was lying. If she'd been told more than what she was claiming.
I couldn't.
"You..." She could just barely speak, every word felt as if it would cut her throat open from the inside. "You knew what I'd done, what I was -- and you let her send me? When you knew I would --"
"...I was so scared," Fluttershy whispered. "I knew you were going to use your talent on me. I knew what it was, but... not how it worked. The night before you came, I was just -- wondering if it would hurt..." A little inhale. "The funny thing is -- after a while, I was trying to give you chances to tell me. Bringing up your mark. Kind of... trying to hint that I wanted to know what it was."
The next sound from her charge was halfway between a sob and a giggle.
"... I guess I wasn't very good at that," the pegasus decided. "But I thought... maybe it was best, to have you use it. Because I'd been thinking about finding somepony, anypony, and... when I tried to imagine what they looked like, it was just -- like an outline nopony had filled in. I thought... if I didn't know what I wanted, then at least you would. If you tried to do the job. If you didn't use the chance to hurt me, to hurt everypony. I was so afraid..."
"I..." The tears were flowing faster now, she had to make them stop, this was going to be Fluttershy's last memory of her, the final thing to carry and she knew what I was, she knows, she's always known and she shouldn't be this close, it was impossible, it was always impossible and
just let Miranda find me
just take me away
just let me die.
"...Fleur?"
I just heard you move closer.
You have to stop.
"I only used it --" Her fur was saturated: the next drop fell to the stone. "-- once. Just -- Sun and Moon, you heard..."
Calm again, "...do you want me to blame myself?"
"...what?" It was a very good imitation. She'd had a lot of exposure to the original.
"...for you not finding Mr. Sweet earlier," Fluttershy explained. "Since I was the reason. Always close by..."
Abrupt, desperate, "Fluttershy, don't --"
"-- except you knew he hadn't... hurt anypony for moons," her charge quietly finished. "Not since he came here. So there isn't much point." A slow breath. "I knew you'd used your talent on me, because of course you were going to. But I couldn't tell when it had happened. And then I thought... how did it say 'Caramel'? I couldn't picture him being with me either, not in any way where it felt right. But then that didn't work, and..."
Another shift forward. Fleur compensated, tried to maintain what little distance remained, the tip of her tail was almost pressed into the bridge wall...
Fluttershy sighed. Stayed where she was, and Fleur listened as that great strength was gathered once more. The sheer amount being collected required some time.
"...you were right," the pegasus finally said. "I was the first one in my class to start puberty. It made me really gawky, and awkward, and... when you're the first... some of the other fillies made fun of me. They sang about how I looked, and how I was... different. Maybe it was because it hadn't been them. And then we all started to learn about flying, and our magic. And I was weak, Fleur. I'll... always be weak. My talent is strong. Any animal, anywhere in the world, and I will figure out how to speak with them eventually. That's where most of my magic went. But I didn't have my mark yet, and... I was different, and weak, and..."
Another, deeper sigh, one which just barely cut off the sob.
"...different," Fluttershy repeated. "They didn't know just how different. Neither did I. Not yet. And my parents loved me, but they were starting to realize I would never be like them, and the other fillies... they just sang. So did some of the colts. That I could hardly fly, and -- other things, things they sing about you when you're the first. And my tail was growing so fast that I couldn't keep track of where it was, I kept hitting things and they sang about that, they..."
Fresh water flowing under them. Salt water flowing from them.
"...'freak' came up a lot," the pegasus softly finished. "Nopony would want a freak. I can... sort of remember where a classmate almost came up to me, trying to be nice or --" very slowly "-- because they were -- interested? Maybe twice. But then the singing would start to include them, and... they stopped."
"And you believed the fillies," Fleur whispered. "You believed nopony would ever want you --"
The pain jolted her, shot up the hind leg at the same moment the burst of sound reached her ears --
"-- don't kick!" Fluttershy pleaded. "Don't kick the wall! You're already hurt --"
-- there were things which hurt more than a split hoof.
Thought was pain.
"-- we have to treat that," the pegasus frantically insisted. "You have to let me --"
You have to leave --
"-- I don't need a doctor in prison." Because maybe that would do it, a reminder of just what the pegasus was facing across the chill stone. "As long as I can limp to the execution podium --"
"STOP!"
And Fleur stopped.
...you're very loud.
When you want to be.
For a few seconds, the pegasus just breathed. The pace was almost meditative, as if she was trying to recover from the effort, or... was making an attempt to calm herself.
"...I know I can't help you unless you let me," Fluttershy finally said. "I..."
A pony's peripheral vision was just enough to let Fleur see her charge's lips twitch.
"...that's just about what you said to me, isn't it?" the pegasus softly went on. "On the very first day. You couldn't help me unless I let you. You -- gave me a little control. And I thought that... I could give you a chance. I would watch you, I'd be careful... but giving you a chance?" And now it was a smile. "Why not? I gave him one. And it felt like... you were trying. Caramel -- that confused me, but then the others said it was about rejection and -- I knew you were trying to make me stronger. To get me through it. It felt like you cared about doing it right, about..."
And she stopped.
A yellow foreleg stretched across chill stone. The unicorn automatically retreated.
"...me," Fluttershy temporarily finished. "You didn't have to come into the surgery. You didn't have to try and make ponies pay what they owed. Listening to me for hours, while we were working together. You'd been so hard on that first day. Pretty, but -- cold. And now you were softer, and it felt like you cared about me."
Words didn't matter. Not when there weren't any which would make Fluttershy leave, which would make the pain stop. The pain of waiting for the moment of final rejection.
"...but you're an escort," the pegasus said. "And... you got close to ponies, over and over again, before you hurt them. I didn't know how you felt about me. What you might be trying to do. But -- I was still giving you a chance, because I hadn't seen anything bad yet. There was something in me that wanted to trust you. That wished I could. And Discord hadn't scared you off and I'd been afraid of that too, you were coming every day and I wanted to believe you cared, so I..."
The pegasus scooted forward. The unicorn, now on the verge of fracturing a tail bone, tried to go backwards --
-- the pegasus turned on the stone, just enough. A limb unfolded...
...feathers brushed against the unicorn's right flank.
Fleur stopped moving. Nearly stopped breathing.
"...please," Fluttershy whispered. "Please listen. I listened for hours. To the screams which come out when you're asleep, and then -- the screams when you woke up." The feathers shivered. "That whole talk with Miranda was just one long scream. Fleur -- I wanted to believe you cared. But I couldn't know. And we were going into Canterlot together, you got me into town on Nightmare Night when I'd never been, and you said... I was allowed to enjoy myself. You told me being on a date meant trying things I wouldn't do normally..."
this is torture
this is Tartarus
...her feathers are so...
Which was when Fluttershy smiled.
"...so I thought I'd go on another date. And I did."
"There was only the one date," the denial desperately kicked out. "Just with Caramel. A date meant to fail --"
"...I told you," Fluttershy reframed, "that I thought you should try some cider..."
Fleur blinked, and did so as a sort of full-body understatement.
Oh.
There was fear, terror, and waiting, almost begging for the worst to happen. To bring an ending. But for the next thought, there was also just a touch of admiration.
Oh, you little...
"...I -- don't talk about my family," the pegasus quietly said, and the incredible tail shifted again. "I did with you, on Nightmare Night. I don't talk very much, and... it was getting easier to talk with you. You decided on Nightmare Night, out in Ponyville together, so... I picked the next one. The cider line." The smile got a little bit wider. "I even got you to sleep with me. Even though it was just sleeping." Her head tilted slightly to the right. "But you didn't have nightmares. Is it just from what happened yesterday?"
"I..." don'tbelievedon'tbelievedon'thopeshesaw "...I've had them for years, ever since --" Sun and Moon, she heard that too
She had come close to breaking so many times in her life, with the majority having taken place in less than a day. The last day. And that was the thought which she most wished to shatter her, send the last pieces of sanity spiraling into the peace of a personal abyss --
-- but the feathers were still touching her.
"...you've never had them at the cottage," Fluttershy curiously observed. "I... know how loud they are now. Even with the soundproofing spells on the blanket, I would have heard, or someone would have scurried in to tell me."
And then Fleur knew.
There were never any nightmares when I had the box.
There were no nightmares in Fluttershy's bed.
In the tent.
In her nest.
Protected.
"...nothing in the tent," the pegasus went on. "You just slept. It was... nice, having you so close..."
Which was followed by a little sigh.
"...but I still didn't know," Fluttershy stated. "I'd just watched you flirt up and down the line. Getting whatever you wanted. So I thought of some things to ask you on the way home. To test you. And after you answered... I was a little angry." This time, the tail executed a very small-scale lash: this applied to the amount of movement only, as the entire mass still had to be shifted. "I thought you'd told the truth. That you did like me, when you didn't like a lot of people. But I didn't know if that was all there was. You couldn't really say if you would have felt anything about me without the assignment, and..."
She sighed, and every waft of breath felt like a spear being shoved into Fleur's heart.
"...I was a little angry for a few days. Part of that was with myself." The blue-green eyes fluttered to half-closed, forced themselves open again. "For wanting to believe in you at all. And I think I brought up the card game to frustrate you, because I had to believe you'd want to meet Luna. Even when you were probably worried about what the Princess had said about you. But a few days passed, and... I found you outside at night, when you were so shaken, I knew something had happened and I couldn't make you tell me, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I brought you home, and then -- Blueblood, and..." The pegasus shivered. "Everything which came with him. Everything."
Another sigh, and the point worked deeper.
"...I started having dreams after that."
No.
I made her
Kori
everything which
Fleur destroyed lives. Set nightscapes as nothing more than places for screams to echo forever, and it was that which made her hooves push at last, scrambling to get up, to run, only the pegasus was already standing and now the light pressure exerted by a downward-tilting wing (something which couldn't be kept up forever, a position which would eventually begin to hurt) had pinned the prone unicorn against stone.
The pegasus just kept looking at her. Looking down.
"...I talk more when you're around," Fluttershy gently stated. "I... sing more, because I sing when I'm happy and... that usually wasn't very often. But I was afraid to trust you. Even when it felt like all you did was try to look after me. But then Kori was hurt, and you worked with me for hours to save her when I could see how scared you were. I didn't know why, not when you'd helped with so much else, but... I've lived with fear for a long time, Fleur. It's... the thing I can almost see, in everypony around me. I saw that you were afraid. But I also saw you stay. And after that, the dreams --"
The tears had to run out eventually. Fleur could just watch the little flow between pieces of stone. A puzzle which had its seams showing. When they overflowed, maybe that was when dehydration would --
"-- Fleur," Fluttershy softly requested. "Please look at me."
She felt her head shake.
"...once," her charge said, and did so for the last time. "You used your talent on me just once. And I was listening in Miranda's office. To everything." She sighed. "I cried a few times. I... wasn't sure how Miranda didn't. It's the mark, I think. It lets her hold on longer. I knew what your talent was, but... not how you perceived it. I only found out then. You used it on me once, and you never looked again. Fleur..." and the pegasus was leaning in now, forelegs bent, the small visible portion of those wet eyes was wide and pleading "...please. If it's channeled through your eyes, if you need to see whoever it's being used on. Whatever you have to do. Look at me."
It was a plea. Open begging, and Fleur didn't understand why. No one should ever want to have something like her talent turned on them, no one and nopony. To become another victim of an inflicted sickness.
But it was a plea from her charge...
Fleur looked.
And then she was looking in a mirror.
"...no..."
It was the only protest the former escort had, the only word left, and the pegasus didn't move. The image didn't change, the puzzle failed to shift and it wasn't truly a puzzle at all, not when there was but a single solid image. Something which showed a tall unicorn mare with a white coat (and just that lightest touch of grey), pale violet eyes and a secretive, knowing half-smile.
"You trust your talent, don't you?" Fluttershy softly asked. "More than you trust most people. Enough that you'll act on what it tells you. So tell me what I want, Fleur. Tell me about my dreams."
A portrait which vibrated at the edges with the desperation of hope.
"You can't!" And then she was standing, the wing unable to keep her restrained, standing so she could look the pegasus almost directly in the eyes and it was both eyes, somehow it was still both. "You can't want me! You heard everything, everything in the cell --"
"-- and everything on the bridge," Fluttershy steadily interrupted.
Fleur blinked and in doing so, proved she would never be able to learn how to teleport. Because if there had been any chance of vanishing, phase-shifting through the stone, anything a unicorn had ever done which would let her be anywhere other than on the bridge, it would have happened on the spot.
"I was very angry with Discord," the pegasus evenly stated. "He's not used to that. And I don't really ask him for much of anything, because it's so easy to have that slip out from under a hoof. I usually don't ask anypony. So when I do ask for something, when everyone can see I'm angry... they listen a little more. I asked Rainbow to track you from the air. I asked him to let me hear everything you were all saying. I heard everything, Fleur." A deep breath, staring up into violet eyes, as two sets of tears flowed faster. "And I know fear, all the ways it tries to control somepony, every way it tries to hide or disguise itself as something else. The strange things you can do, just because you're afraid. Everything about it, for the rest of my life. I'm afraid."
"Afraid of a murderer," emerged as something stark. Please, please run. This has to make you run...
Just above a whisper, but... immediate. "Afraid I won't say this. Because I talked about it with Applejack yesterday, before she went home. While you were still asleep, while the party was being set up. I found a private corner and we talked, because... she was the first of us. With Snowflake, and it was hard for them at the start. I can't tell you that story, because it's theirs. But it was hard, and... they made it this far, Applejack thinks she knows where the road goes, and... she didn't know what you did in Canterlot, Fleur. Not then. None of them did. The Princess told me, and left it up to me as to whether I was going to tell anypony else. And I almost told Applejack last night, because they had to know eventually. I just held off for a little longer. Rarity was the first to find out. But I talked to Applejack, as much as I could, and... she thought you were good for me. She said -- it was better if I found out how you felt. If I knew. No matter how much it hurt, at least I would know. And we all heard you when you were facing the monsters, because you were doing everything you could not to be scared, you were using your fear and when that happens, words can just come out because that's not what you're paying attention to any more. I know."
"I..." Cold, too cold, she had every right to shake... "...I -- you don't deserve this, I never should have stayed near you, not near somepony who was blank and vulnerable, you deserve better, anything is better than me --"
"I'm afraid, Fleur," was the start of the counter. "I'm always going to be scared of something. Right now, I'm afraid of staying quiet. Of speaking and having you not hear me. Because there's fear in your mind, and it babbles constantly to make you pay attention, and sometimes it shouts. I need you to hear me."
She was a pony who moved towards flame.
She moved towards Fleur.
And then they were touching.
It was a nuzzle, and the angle of it had tears flowing backwards. The type of nuzzle which no escort was ever supposed to use. It was unprofessional...
"I care about you," Fluttershy whispered. "I want you to be happy. I think you deserve to be happy. I think... we're both a little broken, in different ways. But our edges fit. I'm happier when you're with me, I don't want you to leave, and..."
Pressing tighter. Almost fierce.
"...when you want to be with somepony... when you want them to stay in your life not just as a friend, but as the first thing you see every morning... then I think that's love. I love you, Fleur. And if you can tell a book that you're in love with me, then..."
And she only backed up enough to let Fleur see her smile.
"...I hope you can tell me."
But the tears wouldn't stop, and the shaking only became that much faster.
"You can't..."
"I do." Which made the pegasus giggle. "Maybe that's practice --"
"-- you..." Her tail didn't know whether to lash, flick, or tuck itself away: trying to do all of it at the same time was producing some interesting twists in the hairs. "...you know just about everything, and you still --"
"...yes."
And there were three last words, the three which could save Fluttershy's life. Fleur had just thought of them and regardless of the cost, a guardian's responsibility was to come up with the plan and enact it. Anything to save the charge's life.
Any sacrifice.
Even when it meant finally having to look in the truest of mirrors.
"I'm a monster."
She told herself it was the breaking of the last lie. The words which should have been said years ago, negating denial with truth. There was nothing in her which was worthy of being loved, she imagined seeds to be sprouting all over the world, and she saw Fluttershy starting to turn away, no longer a charge because no one was ever a charge if they were the stronger, strong enough to trot away from Fleur forever -- no, fly, because the wings were flaring and --
-- the oversized wings flared just enough, joined with the turn, and feathers wiped at the unicorn's hot tears.
"You only said that because you think you're trying to protect me," Fluttershy gently told her. "You're not a monster, Fleur. You're somepony whose life should have been different, should have been better. Who deserves better, and... who should still have it. Who can be better. If you were a monster... you wouldn't care..."
Fleur collapsed.
She shook and she wept, in the shadow created by the wall. But Fluttershy sank down next to her, whispered and nuzzled, stayed close no matter how the unicorn moved. Matched every shift, and watched for any new sign of pain so she could try to take it away.
They stayed like that for a time, because it was nearly winter. It was the season for cold, and learning that the best way to exist within it was next to the warmth of another.
And the caress of feathers was the touch of love.
She was still shaken, and Fluttershy knew it. Perhaps that was why the pegasus was willing to indulge her. It was like having the other Bearers seeing Fluttershy angry: enough of an upheaval that others were willing to do things to make it stop.
"...but we go back after," Fluttershy insisted as they set out on the familiar road: the pegasus had to slow to match the unicorn's wounded pace. Staying at her side. "I can't be sure, but I feel like they're... sort of waiting for us to finish, before they start bringing ponies back in. And you need to have that hoof looked at, and the muscle strains, and everything else. We should really be going to the doctor --"
"-- I need to see this," Fleur broke in. "I won't get another chance --"
" -- then we go to the doctor when it's done," Fluttershy stated. "I'll carry you if I have to."
It almost made Fleur smile.
"Because you're stronger than you look."
Fluttershy silently nodded.
So much stronger...
"You know I was going to kill him." Because part of her was still trying to undo all of it.
Thoughtfully, "...I don't think you saw any other way."
That got them through twenty limping hoofsteps.
"How can you care about me after I --"
"-- we both know something about animals," Fluttershy simply stated. "I think we've both seen a lot of births. Maybe even parents who see another predator closing in on their young and strike. They don't think about it. They just act. It's who you are, it's... not just what happened, but where you grew up. You're protective, Fleur. Maybe it has to be channeled in different ways, but..."
How can you smile?
"...I think you'll make a great parent..."
Raw shock got them a little further down the road. It was now possible to see the fused ditch which ran almost parallel to their track. One more legacy of Fleur's time in Ponyville.
"...somepony could channel some water down that," Fluttershy decided. "It'll look better that way. Fleur -- you told me your parents were dead."
"My birth parents are," initially emerged as something defensive, and then the shield collapsed. "My mother is. I don't care about my father. And with my adoptive parents... I'm just dead to them." A soft snort. "Well, that'll be literal soon enough --"
"-- stop," Fluttershy softly requested. "Please."
"It's another reason why you can't love me," Fleur insisted. "You're going to lose me. As soon as I'm extradited --"
"-- you don't know that's what's going to happen," Fluttershy countered. "No, don't try to break in: you don't, Fleur."
"I know how the law works," was the next desperate strike. "How it should --"
"-- and none of that's happened yet. I think it's what Harem said, Fleur: you're looking at the easiest way. The most simple ending. And we talked about it before this, didn't we? Even if it's the worst possibility..." The pegasus looked up at her. "...loving somepony means taking a chance. Knowing that you'll lose them eventually. One of us will probably die first, Fleur. Maybe not for a long time, but... I'm still a Bearer." Feathers shivered. "There might always be missions. And... I need to know if you can be strong enough. To take a chance on me, every day. To... believe I'll come home. And, if I ever don't..."
The wings were shaking. But both blue-green eyes were steady.
"... to move on. To try and be happy."
Fleur's eyes squeezed shut.
"I lost everyone," she quietly said. "Everyone I ever loved. I -- I don't know if I can..."
Feathers brushed against her right flank.
"...we'll work on it," the guardian decided.
They kept trotting.
Eventually, in a tone which felt too dry, "Another predator?"
"...I think we know each other a little better now," Fluttershy decided. "So yes."
Switching almost instantly to a frantic plea, and Fleur wasn't sure which of them she was trying to disorient, "You heard what I am. And you still --"
"-- I want you," the pegasus stated. "I know there's a lot which comes with you. I think we can work that part out. After you go free. Because that's what I think is going to happen."
Fleur instinctively snorted.
"You're being naive."
"...it's called hope."
Curiously, "And is that your Element?" Because if there was anything more pointless than Honesty...
Eight hoofsteps of silence followed. The unicorn's speed was dropping.
"...Rarity -- no, let me talk, Fleur -- Rarity said something once." The pegasus spread her wings, flew over a tree which had been felled by the parade of monsters: Fleur had to levitate herself. "...she said -- she felt like the Elements represented things we were -- to everypony else." She took a slow breath. "But not to ourselves."
"I don't understand --"
Fluttershy landed, resumed her trot as she stared down at the road. "-- Applejack... can lie to herself, very easily. Twilight had so much trouble finding the magic in a normal life, and that's part of what put her here. There's too many times when Rarity thinks of herself last. I hate it when Pinkie's smile is an echo, when she feels like she can only be happy if everypony else is. And Rainbow... gets pulled in different directions. Dreaming of being a Wonderbolt, wanting to stay with us. She has to pick a course, and... it's hard to stay loyal to so many different things." The yellow head slowly, sadly shook. "And I'm cruelest to myself. Always. The Elements fill gaps in our lives, but... not the gaps within us. That's what our friends are for. I'm cruelest to myself, Fleur... and maybe that's why I'm Kindness."
The pegasus raised her head a little. Smiled.
"...you really don't know about the Elements," she observed. "The look on your face..."
"Kindness," Fleur made herself repeat.
"...yes. Fleur... how old are you?"
The Protoceran blinked.
"Why do you need to know? I'm an adult. I said that --"
"-- maybe I'm planning your birthday party," Fluttershy suggested. "To save Pinkie some time. And I can't look at your papers --"
"-- you could," Fleur sighed. "That's the one thing I didn't change."
Curiously, "...why?"
"Because you have to be a legal adult to sign up for escort training," Fleur explained. "And they have magic which detects minors. It's part of why I did so much to get the papers. I was timing it. I signed up on the first possible day --"
Fluttershy's eyes went wide with Math.
"-- I'm older than you? How..." Almost sputtering. "You -- the first day -- I thought you were at least five years older! How did you --"
"-- I'm tall," Fleur half-smirked. "And I'm good with makeup. If we had time, I could show you a few tricks..."
That particular fuming silence got them around the next broken trunk.
"If they think we're together, then how do they explain the Caramel date?"
"...I've heard three theories. Mostly from ponies who didn't know I could hear them, and only two of them make sense. The first is that we hadn't started yet. Second was Rainbow setting up revenge for every time he asked her out."
"And the third?"
Uncertainly, "...what's a 'threesome'?"
That took a while.
"Say you're beautiful," Fleur eventually challenged.
"...does it matter?" the traffic-wrecking masterpiece asked. "Isn't it more important that you care about me, no matter what I look like?"
It was more than worth a snort. "I guess we'll work on that --"
-- no. That implied a future --
"...say you're good enough for me."
All four of Fleur's knees bent.
"You heard everything, Fluttershy. I'm not --"
"-- then say you'll get better."
And that silence almost got them to the ruin.
There was more than enough debris to stand among, if Fleur wanted to try looking forward. But no matter what Fluttershy said, the only path visible ended at the execution podium. And there was also a matter of finding the right debris...
But there was no point to attempting a search. Wherever the mill hadn't been flattened, it had been fused. And where it had been fused, it had also been melted.
They were standing among what was possibly a quarter-acre of splinters. Fluttershy was staring at the ditch, watching as little edge pieces of broken wood occasionally dropped among the ice of the opposing stream. Fleur's eyes had been closed for five minutes.
"...I went by this all the time," Fluttershy eventually said. "I never really thought about it. Because it was just... something I went by. And you went inside..."
Fleur nodded.
"...what did you find?"
And Sun shifted across the sky, watching as a story was told.
"I knew how to get in and out in a hurry," Fleur finished. "And I had an escape route planned, if the circlet was ever off and... I needed it." A little more softly, "I thought it was a plan." A plan which took her out by the cottage.
"...and you didn't keep it in your house?"
"There wasn't enough security, or a decent hiding place. If anypony had tried to rob the mill, they never would have gone for where I put it."
"Your mourning box."
Fleur silently nodded. A wing awkwardly draped her back.
"...I'm sorry."
The two mares remained in that position for a time.
"They've -- been gone for years," the former escort eventually said. "All this does is... make it a little more final. Fluttershy, after I'm sentenced, I don't want you to --"
"-- stop."
They were both still again.
"...you don't want to search?"
She'd wanted to see if there was enough left to search through. There wasn't. "There's no point."
A chill gust of wind came in from the wild zone, caught the smallest bits of debris and ruffled their fur. Several tiny fragments of paper brushed against Fleur's snout.
"I thought he might have been my grandfather."
Open shock. "...you did?"
Starkly, "For about two minutes. Because the timing seemed right. And... because it made a good story. One I told myself, until I realized how stupid it was. There's a lot of reasons for ponies to be in Protocera, Fluttershy. I never knew my birth grandparents, on either side. So I don't know when the bloodline crossed the border. It was a story, and... I guess Harem would say the reader made a connection to the character. It doesn't necessarily exist. There were just times when I thought I saw something of myself in him. I kept going back to the mill to read it, and... it was just a story. The story of a few years of his life."
"...do you know his name?"
"It doesn't mean much for bloodlines. Not the way pony names work --"
"-- do you?"
"Yes," Fleur admitted. "He never wrote it in the journal, not even This Book Belongs To. But he was the mill's owner. Most of the old ledgers were still there. Invoices. Obviously in his name."
"...then maybe you could track --"
"-- he's probably dead," the former escort quietly said. "The same generation as Applejack's grandmother. And if he's still around, then he's a thousand gallops away, and -- he doesn't want to remember any of it. Leave him be."
It was ten silent minutes before Fleur heard powerful wings moving overhead. Slowing, shifting into a hover...
"Rainbow?"
"...yes. I can signal her. Tell her we're heading back. And they can start bringing everypony back in. If you're ready."
Fleur nodded, opened her eyes. Both mares turned.
"...we're going to the hospital now," Fluttershy announced. "Before the cell. You need that sealant before you sleep, because that limp's just getting worse. And I'm staying with you tonight -- no, don't, Fleur: I already told Miranda. I'm sleeping in the cell. We share our prosecutor's office with the capital. That means they never got to officially file charges, so there isn't any bail --"
"-- it's attempted murder. If there is bail, you can't afford it --"
"-- and somepony else can watch the cottage." More softly, "I don't think you're right about what happens next. But if you are... then I want the time."
I want to be wrong --
-- no. That was hope. The one supposed virtue which was actually too stupid to be an Element.
All Fleur did was hurt people. And when the sentence came down... when she finally went home... Fluttershy would be the last.
She'd tried to explain that, over and over. And they had a long trot back, one which kept getting slower as the limp worsened and Fluttershy kept offering to move into the pressure carry position while Fleur used the chance for another desperate attempt to explain it yet again. One of them had to work.
But the pegasus wouldn't leave...
The light didn't bloom until several minutes after the two mares had passed completely out of sight. After all, light generally came from a source, and Fluttershy was already disconcertingly good at spotting when he was in the area. Having her see the moment when he -- they emerged from invisibility would have just complicated everything.
"They're not supposed to win," Harem thoughtfully declared from her position upon his paw. "The too-aggressive mare from Protocera, and the one with the amazingly full tail. They never win. But I guess it's different when it's their story?"
"Let's hope so," Discord decided. "Fluttershy requested that I allow events to proceed along what she said was their natural course." With a snort, "Which is apparently something else I have to put up with. Fortunately, most of the natural courses around here lead directly into chaos."
"Really?"
"Ponyville," he rendered his ultimate compliment, "is occasionally not boring. So events will proceed. We'll just see about the where of it..."
Red eyes surveyed the wreckage of the mill. It could be seen as a lovely bit of chaos: there had been order in the construction, even more in the boring predictability of decay, and now there wasn't. But there was something strange about seeing it this way. The finality...
"And -- if Fleur gets to stay?" Harem timidly asked.
"I already agreed to a truce." And because he was feeling oddly magnanimous, "And she can protect, I suppose. After a fashion. Now, when looking at the rest of it --"
Which was when he became aware of the book trembling upon his paw.
Just barely a whisper. There was so much holding the decibels down, and all of it had been confined within the words. Fear. Terror. And somewhere towards the core of the letters he had never read, the worst thing of all.
"...you don't need me any more, do you?"
Resignation.
He stared down at her, and did so from eyes which had fully remained within their sockets. Saw the way her covers were shaking, how the sharp page corners were on the verge of blunting themselves...
"You wanted to learn about dating," Harem whispered. "I... don't know if I was the best one to teach you, or if I ever gave you the right words. But it was really about finding a mate, and -- if they stay together, then... that's it, isn't it? You don't need me..."
He was Discord. The incarnation of chaos, the crown-if-deposed Prince Of Possibilities. And yet, in that moment, it felt as if his only option in existence was to silently look down at the book --
"I... well, think of how it looks, Harem!" The talon merrily gestured: the paw remained upright. Balanced. "Chaos, carrying a book everywhere! I imagine it wouldn't be much better with a backpack. And I'm hardly ready to try out saddlebags full-time --"
There was a tiny drop of ink running off her upper right corner.
"-- am I going to die?" she whispered. And waited.
He stared at the droplet. Began to snap his talons, because any damage had to be fixed --
-- stopped.
He... never left something animated for anywhere near this length of time. Apparently they changed. They began to think, and then they started to think for themselves. He felt as if he should be proud of that...
The ink fell onto his paw, and the instinct was to shake the limb. Get rid of it. But he was holding her, and so it simply stained the fur.
He raised the paw to his face. Looked at her, for what was nearly the last time.
"Fluttershy taught me that all things die," Discord softly told his research assistant. "One day, I will die. The last of the possibilities coming true. But everything fights for its time. And if there must be death -- then how much better to have lived first?"
Looking at her for what was nearly the last time. Seeing her for what felt like the first one.
"What sort of life would a book have?" he asked the world, and received no answer -- but he didn't really need one. He already knew. "What kind of future is there for you? How do you meet anyone? I'd hardly expect you to date. In my experience, there is no such thing as a Nice Dictionary On The Next Shelf. They're all full of themselves. Among other words."
The librarian would keep her: he knew that. But she would just be a talking artifact. A curiosity -- no, worse: something which the Equestrian Magic Society would long to study. Years of boring analysis, being told to talk just so researchers could measure her vocabulary...
"Everything dies," Harem softly repeated.
He nodded.
And then he heard the last hope.
"So that means I'll see you again?"
He'd been carrying her for a few -- moons, it had been moons and it somehow felt as if that paw had always been upturned.
She'd done her best. She'd listened. She'd argued a few times, but she'd always tried to understand. She was...
"In the shadowlands?" she asked. "Because lots of ponies write about the shadowlands. So maybe they're real. Can I see you there? Do I -- do I get to go...?"
"Harem --" he half-whispered.
And then his ears twisted. Went backwards, took in the approaching sounds --
"-- they're coming," Discord said. "The rest of the herd. Fluttershy must have met them on the way back. Asked if they would check the cottage. Start the feedings, until a substitute can arrive." He'd protected the structure and grounds, but he hadn't thought about feedings. "They're only a minute out."
"We can go," Harem quickly decided. "Talk about it somewhere else. I..." The book trembled. "...I don't want them to hear..."
He didn't make a decision. A decision implied choice. In the heart of chaos, all of the possibilities had narrowed down to one.
"No. We can't." He was speaking too quickly. There wasn't enough time... "I can't spare the effort."
"You -- can't? But you've always --"
He knew what it was going to take. Too much. He'd used his powers so many times during the day: to free the monsters, to keep them on course, and then sending them back... it would have been an effort at any time, and for it to happen now...
...it had to be now.
He looked at her. (At her. The one he'd animated and named.) Felt her looking back.
"Will you trust me?"
Nearly everyone in the world would have stared at him, if he'd asked that question. Some would have screamed. Run.
An entity waiting for her death silently regarded him, and the trembling stopped.
"Yes."
He raised his talons. Touched them together -- but that was where the movement stopped. There was no snap, and no flash. But the air around the digits began to ripple...
The white eyebrows began to twist as his brow knotted. Antler and horn warped, almost bent.
"It's... probably best if you don't remember me," he whispered. "Not for a long time. It would make things far too complicated. But I will see you again, Harem. I swear to that. Forgive a chaos entity for having nothing to swear by..."
The talons did not reach forward: the world around them changed in a way which allowed them to gently touch the cover. And everything rippled, he could hear hooves and wings but he had to ignore them, he had to concentrate, he fought off the trillion tracks which led to failure, went to war against every bit of creation which said he couldn't do this and his hoof sank partway into the soil, a blast of wind went through his tail and he ignored all of it because he was touching her cover for the last time, looking at her for the last time as something rose up from her core.
Something warm.
And he knew she was not afraid.
The gold lines of her cover ink twinkled. And at the exact moment when he heard the hooves come over the ridge and the first gasp sounded in twisted ears, the brightest spark separated.
He touched it.
The light vanished.
The life.
And all which remained on his paw was the pulped remnants of dead trees, drenched in cold ink.
"Discord!"
There was fear in the alicorn's voice. Terror. He -- should have been used to hearing that, when it was ponies...
He didn't turn to look at the six of them. (It would be six, he knew: the dragon was probably on the librarian's back.) He didn't want to.
"Oh, would you relax," he muttered, and had just enough left to make sure they heard all of it. "I'll put the book back. It was extended research: the Archives should understand that if nothing else. A long-term loan. Even so, there's probably a massive fine." With a snort, "Society seems to have myriad ways of parting an honest draconequus from his hard-earned salary --"
The weather coordinator reached him first, hovered at an annoyingly close distance. "What -- what did you do?" she demanded -- and then decided to get the answer from another source. "Harem, what did he --"
The dead pages were still.
The librarian caught up (and no, the dragon was with the designer: the white mare looked oddly tired). Of course she was going to be second: there was a book involved. Just a book, now...
"She was talking," the alicorn half-whispered. "She talked, and she thought, and -- Discord, what did you --"
He turned away from them. Pulled the half-solid hoof back to level ground again, and the hitching walk turned towards Canterlot. It would have to be walking, for a while. He hadn't truly tried out his wings in --
But Twilight wasn't finished.
Far too softly, "You killed her --"
And he spun.
He barely felt cohesive as he did so. Spent, drained, and the mere movement threatened to make parts separate. As it was, his ears collapsed, the paw slammed the dead book against his hip, and there was something flying away from his face. Something wet and hot, where portions ran down his features and reached his body in their original state. A sign of weakness, as was the fact that the liquid just kept coming.
He didn't understand.
He didn't know what expression was on his face just then. That none of them pulled back, and every last one drew closer.
He never wanted to feel like this again, as if all of him was quickly collapsing into a vacuum which had nothing to do with the drain, and yet something in him recognized that the only way to exist was to expose himself to that feeling over and over...
"SHE'S GONE! ISN'T THAT ENOUGH? I HAD TO LET HER GO! WHY CAN'T YOU?"
And still, they did not pull back.
"She's gone," Twilight whispered. "She's..."
"Compensation." Why wouldn't the liquid stop? He was trying to tell it to do so, and that just made it come all the faster. The remnant was going to get wet. "Compensation for services rendered. I'll --" Maybe she hadn't heard what he believed she'd see as the important part. He'd been trying to speak her most native tongue. "-- put it back..."
He turned away from them again, just before the pink curls made contact, before his fur and scales could be touched by hat or false eyelashes or anything else. Began to limp. It would be hours before he recovered, and... that would be enough time to shave some distance off the final flash. He hadn't really taken a true walk for --
-- it was the weather coordinator who said it. The one who'd recently taken up writing, and so searched for the right words a little more often. In his opinion, she failed most of the time, at least when it came to the spoken ones. He'd known an expert.
This felt like another one of her failures: he certainly couldn't think of any reason why her sentence would be proper for the occasion. And yet...
"Is she going to be okay?"
He stopped.
"I don't know," he told the air, because fully turning to face them was just too much effort. "Is... that supposed to be the hardest part? Not knowing, after you let someone go? I don't know. I can't ever truly know, can I? It... isn't my decision any more."
Two more steps, each an effort. They didn't follow, and he was almost thankful for that. His friend had sent them to the cottage, just as she'd sent a former pair ahead. The obligation would keep the herd from pursuit. He had time. Time to think, allow his power to rebuild from the core, and make the liquid stop --
-- it was too much work to turn his body, when he couldn't fully change. But rotating his head -- that was just style.
"I don't know," he repeated. And then, with all of the ferocity he could still muster, "But rest assured: I will be taking an interest. Now, if the lot of you will excuse me, or even if you won't, I suspect the fine is escalating by the minute..."
He limped away, one hitching step at a time.
They let him go.
There were medical bays in the emergency section of the hospital. Some of them were open and empty, while others had doctors and nurses going in and out: those who had stayed when nearly all others had departed, just in case. It meant they were ready, because ponies had been coming back into town and a few had found interesting ways of hurting themselves during the evacuation. Wing strain. Chipped hooves. Stress exhaustion. Ran for the railroad tracks and jammed a hock against a trestle.
All of that was being treated, and so were Fleur's wounds: she was just the only one who picked up a watching officer about ten minutes in. But several of the bays were busy. And because the emergency section had remained open as long as it could, one of those deep alcoves had its entrance covered by a curtain, one which sometimes shook as the screams pushed their way out. Cries of pain and agony and, at the very end, a soft new sound which had nothing to do with crying at all.
The physician who was applying the sealant to Fleur's left hind hoof smiled at that sound. Took the little tool, got ready to add the next layer --
-- and the hidden mare's next scream shook every last bay.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'HOW IS THERE ANOTHER FOAL COMING'?!?""
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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'HOW IS THERE ANOTHER FOAL COMING'?!?""
Ahhhh, Dissy me boyo. Ye has a heart ye do. <3
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I was thinking it'd be a long, long, epilogue away, With that scene being Fleur having the baby and it being Harem but no! Soo much sooner!
OOOH! It's that mare! From... Public Rejection, moving at "the speed of cautious terror"! Haha! Gotta be!
----
Typo: Italics unended.
Wow.
First, Applejack x Snowflake(Bulk Biceps).
Now, Fluttershy x Fleur.
I’m kinda curious how the other four will go.
(Rainbow and Twilight are anyone’s guess. Will Pinkie stay canon and go Cheese Sandwich, or deviate from the course? Will Spike get Rarity, or will they both find someone else? The best thing about Alternate Universes is that you just don’t know. That’s half the fun.)
YAY! <3 I swear, I would have come through the screen at Discord if he'd actually ended Harem.
I was hoping he was turning her into a real mare ala Pinocchio, but I didn't even think of rebirth.
"I don't know," he repeated. And then, with all of the ferocity he could still muster, "But rest assured: I will be taking an interest."
40 on the corner for Harem's parents-to-be, it's gonna be Cat in the Hat shenanigans all that filly's life.
I'm just trying to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now...
In all seriousness, you really do write a phenomenal love confession. I've had a feeling for a while that Fleur's second look at Fluttershy's puzzle would be a pivotal one, but this... This was beautiful on every level. There's still a lot to unpack—Fleur certainly won't shut up about the extradition until Protocera drops the charges (assuming they do)—but I think they're going to turn out alright.
And Discord definitively proves that he is not, in fact, a monster. Fluttershy isn't the only one he accidentally became a father figure for. And if you think about it, the plan was a smashing success. Discord is now invested in the well-being of a pony foal. Fascinating to see his limits, both magical and emotional.
Exquisitely done, Estee. Here's to whatever's left.
Rofl that last line.
Oh I think I know what that little foal name is going to be.
He is going to become either the best Harem story writer of all time or he is going to be the protagonists in it knowing full well what is happening by seeing the flags.
Oh god, he's Ranma Saotome in pony form... a walking chaos beacon.
But hey! Surprise twins! Always fun when you already picked the bed and decorations for the baby room.
And that is a beautiful chapter. You even really, truly managed to bring a few tears to my eyes, you monster. Well done.
I am so sad this story is not cannon because of the Tapestry story, screw it, that story is an alternate universe, this is main Triptych Cannon.
Its amazing
Hey, the title character makes an appearance! Didn’t see that coming…
A lovely, emotional chapter of confession. This story is a gem.
I'm only halfway through, but when I hit this line "And then she was looking in a mirror." I just straight up started crying and laughing with hiccups. I still have the rest to go, but my god... So heart wrenchingly beautiful to have reached this moment.
there are no possible words for the heart full to bursting i feel reading this chapter!!! i need a way to favorite things that are already favorited. favorite squared. cubed even.
Well that's chaos all over. Well done.
There’s only one word to describe this chapter and this story: perfect.
And this, this is where I get angry, angry not because I think this story is bad, but because it's so good I'm frustrated it's not canon! It's been beautiful all the way through and I'm left with a deep longing for getting to see more, knowing that once it ends, I won't. That there won't be little snippets like with snowflake and applejack, that I'll have to leave all this behind and return to the "canon" verse. So thank you. Thank you for making me care enough to be this angry.
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i.imgflip.com/5htwub.jpg
Good on ya, Discord. It was hard, but you did right by Harem. You did right.
So, Fleur and Flutters. How do you feel about adoption? The little filly could really really use a mother, and although her father was a real stinker, she's going to grow up to be a beautiful little thing that you'll have to keep the colts away with a stick.
Wait, let me check real quick...
Okay, phew. It’s still listed as Incomplete. Now to actually read the chapter.
A…MAZ…ING
And it ended on a good, strong laugh. Which is exactly what was needed, after the last…how many crushingly heavy chapters, now?
As for Harem, I really thought he’d given her a soul, just so she could get into the shadowlands. Especially with this:
(Which, by the way, totally reminded me of Steven Universe, so, extra awesomeness)
Then that last line clued me in to what actually happened, which just made it even better.
I read the status on your Patreon, how hard this chapter was to write for you.
You knocked it out of the park.
Really, you did. I feel comfortable in saying that there, in my humble, humble opinion, wasn't a better way for you to have connected the dots, tied the remaining strings together into a lovely knot for us to gawk at with wonder in our eyes and goofy ass grins. Writing yourself into an insomniac's daze or no, this was a genuinely fantastic chapter.
I know words only go so far, the 'did I do this right?' nerves sizzling in the backround tend to carry a lot more weight comparatively, but I want to express just how happy reading your work makes me. Inspirational, honestly. You make me want to grab a pen and get crackin'.
Maybe I'm being dramatic, but that's how I feel.
I can't thank you enough.
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Little HC has at least one parent: the mare that just gave birth to her.
And yeah, Estee, I don't look at Patreon posts myself, but by no means should you second guess yourself on this one. This was amazing.
Massive respect for keeping up with this update schedule and the consistent quality of output. This is an impressive display of professionalism, especially considering the intense subject matter. And, on a related note, holy shit.
I don't know what to say about this chapter, so I'll say other things instead. Fleur's age is a great character detail that I keep coming back to in my head. I really thought she was in her thirties. You could call it world-weariness, but you could also say she's had a godawful childhood and adolescence and hasn't had the CHANCE to realize it's possible for a person's life to improve rather than deteriorate. I also think there's some deadpan comedy hidden in there, the kind that doesn't have a punchline but is a constant miasma of absurdity underlying every chapter. Fleur broods like Batman -- that is, she's got excellent reason to be miserable, but her cynicism and world-weariness are so over the top that it wraps around to Kafkaesque comedy. Batman's stupid outfit and his stupid theater kid enemies underline how warped his perspective is. To a lesser extent, Fleur's age makes her bleak view of things feel less like someone who's experienced a long life and found it mostly awful (like a medieval peasant or a 19th century coalminer), and more like someone who hasn't yet had the chance to mature in certain ways.
In the end I think Fleur is brave, kind, worthy of another chance, and a very silly person. But hey, so is her girlfriend. They'll be fine.
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God I hope not. Marrying off a character to a one-note celebrity cameo was cringeworthy when the show did it, and Estee's Pinkie has greater depths.
I’m not crying, Discord is crying…
Discord is crying?
Yikes!
Okay, anyone reading my previous comments on this story will be able to spot that this isn’t the result I was wishing for Harem Fantasy. But she gets to be a real filly now, and there is a beauty to that.
So, now to wait for the next update…
Sweet Celestia.... You invented Checkov's pregnant mare.
Hurray! Good ending achieved! ... Of course, (and I mean this with love) this is Estee we're talking about. We' ll see how the details shake out in the final few chapters. While I doubt Fleur's worst case scenario will come to pass, that still leaves a lot of room for real life messiness to throw in random wrenches. But hey, the essential bits are the right shape, so I'm happy.
I'd love to see this fic from Fluttershy's POV. Maybe not as a chapter by chapter remake, but some of the more pivotal bits as vignettes would be interesting.
Super satisfied with where the Harem plotline ended, by the way. This is exactly why I included the parenthetical statement up above. Life is messy, and having Harem get turned into an adult pony with all of her memories would have been the easy ending. THIS ending though? Giving someone a surprise twin? This is one of the fun messes. You could make an entire series on that premise alone.
This is one of your best stories yet and I'm so conflicted about it finally nearing its end!
Estee writes the M7 the show can only hope it had - check
Estee writes the Princesses the show can only hope it had - check
Estee writes the Diamond Tiara redemption the show can only hope it had - check
Estee writes the Flash Sentry the show can only hope it had - check
Estee pulls off a total BPxM6 crack ship and makes it work - check
Estee writes a 400k epos about a cameo background character that ends up as a surprise M6 crack ship, lands it perfectly and also adds the Discord the show can only hope it had, just as an afterthought - check
IT KEEPS HAPPENING
I told you about Estee bro
I told you dog
Estee can't keep getting away with this
"going to happen," Fluttershy counted. "No, don't try"
"going to happen," Fluttershy countered. "No, don't try"?
"was quickly collapsing into an vacuum which had"
"was quickly collapsing into a vacuum which had"?
Thank you for writing. :)
(Still a _little_ out of it from the aftereffects of my Covid vaccination, but I'm happy to say I wasn't so much so that I didn't enjoy the chapter. :))
I must confess, I was very worried about what Fleur would do upon reaching the bridge that kept being referred to. With that mindset, I feared she'd do something self-destructive. But I guess Fleur is a staunch believer in suffering, and that she deserves every bit of it, even in the afterlife. In a way... she's far more wounded than Kori ever was. A gruesomely perfect match for Fluttershy.
This is a magnificent story, and a classical comedy - I suspect and hope.
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Estee is the writer the other writers are afraid of, because they're so powerful in their ability to produce such high quality, consistent work on a regular basis. Like, this is next level. Everything about this was fantastic.
And every time I think, wow it can't get any better than this, it does. It being the story itself on the whole and every update. what the fuck. It shouldn't even be possible. Estee is some black magic shit.
Thank you so much for writing this. I hope all the torment you've no doubt experienced upon releasing it into the world can be at least mildly mitigated by hearing about how awesome I (and many others!) Found this chapter to be. It's literally like, a dream version, like I dreamt that this fic had a turn like this years ago and now it's actually really here. I thought at the time (pretty early on in the fic's run, too. Early to middle-ish. They had had the levitation scene.) That I'm full of shit, it's not even gonna go that way, that's wishful thinking, seeing what I wanted to see in between lines and shit. Look at it now! It's even better than I could have imagined!
I loved this so much. I'm trying not to over do it on the exclamation points but I'm so excited! I feel very fortunate to get to read it and experience it.
The way they parallel each other in this chapter is so brilliant. The ways Fluttershy has changed and shows that in how these two interact, the way they were embracing on the bridge when Fluttershy was comforting Fleur! Masterpiece cinema. Fluttershy is so good at comforting and Fleur needs so much of it, aww. It's so sweet it gives me life. SUSTAINS my SOUL.
Seriously though, the emotional beats were pitch-perfect here. It was so good!! Fleur being so damn determined to die is almost funny.
👍👍
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But who here has the power to stop this madness?
Underappreciated MVP Callback of the chapter:
So very beautiful.
You had us guessing at Fleur’s history for quite a while.
Then it all came together. In more ways than one.
Oh Harem... what will become of you?
EDIT:
((Making this edit the next day))
Oh I know.
Ahh, Estee... you wonderful author !
Discord’s emotional attachment? The Anchor Foal? I can’t say it without spoiling. Looking at the comments, it’s what others have hinted at as well.
Interesting question: Does Fleur’s romance matching gift work on animals? Because that would be an interesting turn, and in the real world there are no end of zoos and breeders who would cut off an arm to have that kind of ability.
Now, that is a solution to the Harem Fantasy question that I didn't expect. It's the little things in life...
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I didn't even know there was a Patreon, but what I do know is there isn't enough like buttons or ways to favorite this story. Honestly I want this to be canon, it's probably my favorite story of yours so far. This chapter was amazing, and I've been checking for updates daily just because I couldn't bear to wait any longer than I absolutely had to.
Ohh ohhh um crap need to reread. Who was the very pregnant mare from not to long ago… GAH! Can’t wait to get home from work so I can see.
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Patreon.
Ko-Fi.
Postal dropbox (pinned in #p-o-unboxing for the chat server).
(There's a reason I put the first two links at the end of each story's long description.)
(And the short bio.)
(I wish I could remember what it was.)
I am not faulting anyone. 'Too visible to be seen' is a thing.
Did Discord just... and names have so much meaning in Equestria, too.... I forget. Does Estee use the convention of names coming to parents as the foals are born as if fate knows what is in store for them? Because I'm trying to imagine just how that's gonna play out for Harem, and well, either she's gonna remember her old name some day or she's gonna start with the name Harem and that'll lead to some very weird situations.
oh, she means the pony who built the mill.
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i think it does, i remember her making sure it was "turned off" before visiting Fluttershy's house, because she didn't want to be inundated with animal...desires.
and then she met Discord, and was afraid seeing HIS "picture" would drive her crazy.
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Others have said it better than I could, so...
Basically everything FOME and Hardstuck said.
You got me to tear up a bit with the confession, too.
I'm pleased that I guessed Harem's fate before the reveal a few paragraphs later.
You continue to be my favorite horsewordsmith. This has been excellent, and I eagerly await the finale.
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And dayum, Estee delivers!
10918085 Hey! Stop splashing cold water over my perfectly good romantic animal fantasy... um... It sound odd when put that way, doesn't it?
(Aside: My neighbor when he was in college had a summer job driving a van full of rabbits around the country. See, there was this particularly rare breed of rabbit, and to keep them purebreed you can't have them breeding Game of Thrones style, so various breeders across the country made arrangements, and he took off a few weeks in the summer to do nothing but drive rabbits to their romantic rendezvouses. Then the same thing next year, for regular money, but the third year he pawned his bunny brothel off on a friend, and I'm presuming the Easter Van still makes summer trips to this day.)
I don't know if there's a graceful way to get it into the narrative, but I'd love Sweetie Belle's perspective on all this. First you've got the sheer trauma of the situation, from seeing Fleur signal Mr. Sweet, to seeing them both get hauled away screaming on stretchers, to seeing the town get smashed up by malevolent and incomprehensible forces. Then it'll be even worse depending on how much she learns, which may well be quite a lot, since she's likely to be a witness in two major trials.
I prefer to imagine her takeaway here will be, "Wait, you mean she could see my crush the whole time?????"
All in all it’s never one creature’s story is it, it’s not just a story about fluttershy learning to want and get love, or flure learning how to actually forgive herself, it’s also about discord taking responsibility for a life he brought into this world and the beginnings of him learning to say goodbye.
That last line just goes to show that Discord knows how to bring chaos into some mares life. I wonder just which lucky pony it is? And just how much has he messed with the future by adding one more life to it?
As for further up in the story. Dsmn it Estee. Stop bring a tear to my one eye! But the final bit of prophecy is gonna be pretty simple. Just how is Celestia going to unravel all of this? Fleur did attempt to commit murder so there will be repercussions. Though I could see her judging Fleur with time served. Life in Ponyville has to be a sentence of some. And the entire point of this story is to keep Discord from being upset. I think punishing Fleur harshly just might do that.
And I'm really hoping Rarity stops by the hospital with a pillow (or a baseball bat) to have a talk with a potential abuser. Cant have a victim if the victim cannot press charges.