//------------------------------// // It's Sort Of Like If Heads And Tails Didn't Want To Be Part Of The Same Coin // Story: Anchor Foal: A Romantic Cringe Comedy // by Estee //------------------------------// I found some ponies standing around the mill today. I was doing some paperwork in the office. Trying to figure out how the income's been coming in and comparing it to the payments heading out. I've been hoping that since we've got so much of the base for the town built, we'll get an accountant moving in soon. I'd rather not take the trip into Canterlot, especially when I'd have to haul all the ledgers with me. And it feels like there's a lot of ledgers. Maybe an accountant's the last stage. When it comes to the ones who were here before me, most of the homes are up or just about finished. Plenty of stores. Got a good foundation on Town Hall, even if I keep telling them they've got to do a little more about protecting it from lightning or they might wind up building it all over again. Can't do much about that as a unicorn. But we've got shops, houses, place to keep the government safely isolated is in progress, and the flood of ponies found places to wash up in. It all creates numbers. I wanted to go into town and see if we've got an accountant yet, and then I was thinking about going home. It's been getting easier to go home lately. For the last couple of years, it felt like I was spending most of my life in the mill. That was what needed to be done. All of the construction, and the mill had to provide the wood for just about every tenth-bit of it. The sawblades never stopped. Needed a night forepony, needed to keep going deeper into the wild zone to get fresh trees, and then we needed to replant them and put some earth ponies on those seeds because the only thing more important than wood today is having wood tomorrow. But now I'm getting some time at home, because the crush is finally easing off. I think I need to spend more time at home, with my spouse. Because I've just about got my own place finished off, but it's been slower than most. I keep having to stop and put my hooves in on other projects. Ponies send for me when they've got building problems and while they trust my crew, they know who runs it. Something goes frogs-up on them, and they know there's only one of me. I've spent a lot of moons fixing everypony else's problems. It's done bad things to the schedule for wrapping up my porch. Crush meant the mill was running under Sun and Moon. Crush had ponies pushing themselves too hard to keep up. Had to mandate work breaks so nopony would go down in a pool of their own froth. Spent a lot of time going down to the floor and prodding the crew away from the blades, before they got so tired that they put themselves into their work and lost parts they can't get back. There's been some laughs about that. I was the only unicorn around for a while, and that meant nopony knew how to deal with a horn prod. But I found a few ponies standing around on their own today. Taking a break without me needing to push them into it. Or poke. It's not a bad sign. Crush time's ending, and I don't have to worry so much about the crew getting hurt because they push too hard or too long now. I'm looking at it as a positive change. Maybe I'll go find Brass after I leave and have a drink with him. Celebrate, because he's probably reached the point where his ponies aren't slumping into sleep and getting their snouts stuck in pipes. I'll ask Brass if he's heard anything about an accountant coming in. He's got the same problem as me: the mark tells you how to do the work, but it's not much help when it comes to running the business. But after that, I'm going home. I want to put in some more work on the porch. It's for her. When she's home, she uses what's there of the porch more than anything else. So the porch needs to be finished. If the porch gets finished, maybe she'll be home more. They were only a few body lengths apart. Fleur hadn't been actively chasing down the pegasus any more than she'd managed to ensnare any Bearers: in both cases, there had just been so much else to do. But as with the concept of rebuilding her web, the idea had never slipped her mind. One of the most beautiful mares she'd ever seen was sharing a settled zone with her and if you were unfairly sentenced to a prison whose chef made the word's best vanilla cake (something else Sweetbark probably couldn't appreciate), then you had an obligation to sample a slice before you escaped. Or more than a single slice. With the pegasus, Fleur had been fully prepared for going to four. But there had been no fully active hunt to find out where she lived: in part, this was because Fleur hadn't known who to ask -- well, mostly hadn't known. She'd been sure that Pinkie would have the information, and also would have wanted to know why Fleur was asking. She didn't know much of anything about the pegasus. Admittedly, she was finally getting a chance to learn. The first look at the mare's puzzle had told her that the metallic was still single, because none of the pieces (some of which felt unusually new) had any aspect of fulfillment about them. That felt like it should have given Fleur a chance: she might not have dark fur, but she was tall enough to satisfy that particular corner. The mare had nothing against horns (although she also liked wings). She was repressed, but she was also trying to actively find a way out of it. All the pegasus might really need was somepony with enough ambition to get close, the charm to stay there, and a guide harness on standby. But all Fleur's talent could ever do was tell her about the sexual aspects of a being. She didn't know where the pegasus resided, had no idea what her job was... well, she could finally start to make a guess on that one, because the pool of illumination from the streetlight was providing Fleur with her first true look at the metallic's mark. ...tail groomer? It felt possible. But the icon was unusual: a lush white tail over shapely red hindquarters, just as metallic as the rest of the fur. A butt on a flank. If 'tail groomer' wasn't the answer, then Fleur was currently at a loss for what the image meant. And when it came to thinking of any other options... The pegasus was beautiful. Take Fleur out of the race and she would be the most beautiful mare in the settled zone. The tail was flawless obsidian, the brilliant yellow of the eyes had originally made the unicorn think of Sun -- -- they were only a few body lengths apart, and the hip-swaying trot meant to close that distance had stopped at the sound of the first word. Because that brilliant yellow was looking directly at her, and Sun was cold. "I'll save you the introduction," the beautiful metallic slowly began, every little motion sending reflections into the night. "You're Fleur Dis Lee." All right. She knows my name. My full name, which means she's either been in the area at just the right moment, or she's been asking ponies about me. Why is she -- "And you're an escort," the pegasus softly added. "But not an active one. Not at the moment, since Ponyville isn't your territory and you haven't announced yourself." -- asking a lot. It begged the question of why. The best case was that the metallic was attracted, and had been trying to learn more. But there wasn't a single puzzle piece glowing, and Fleur was right there. "I'm pretty sure you know my name," traveled across the chill breeze to Fleur, moving downwind. "But let's pretend you don't, just for a second. I'm Joyous." The escort carefully shifted her features into a smile. "I did know that." Why is her tail starting to lash? "I saw you at my welcoming party, and I asked Pinkie about you." The smile widened a little, and Fleur added a small head tilt to the mix. "Actually, she mentioned you the first time I met her. Not by name. It wasn't anything insulting --" "-- I don't know Pinkie very well," Joyous cut her off. "Not as much as I'd like. We haven't seen each other very often since my own party. But I can guess. She said you were beautiful, and I was beautiful." There was no audible ego in the statement, perhaps because a statement was all it had been. They were both beautiful. Joyous, at least, was fully aware of how she looked. "Yes." The metallic coldly nodded. The movement made a patch of dark blue dance upon Fleur's snout. "Ponies mentioned you to me," the pegasus told her. "For the same reason. It's not why I came to your party, though. I've been..." and there was something strange in her tone "...trying to attend parties lately. Getting used to them. To being around the number of ponies who show up." Gently, "Enochlophobia?" The mare's brow furrowed. More light bounced. "I don't know what that is." "The fear of crowds," Fleur clarified. Joyous' cold eyes abruptly widened. Narrowed again. "None of your bucking business." Get it over with. The sooner she found out exactly which lies the pegasus had been told (or, in the worst case, which truths needed to be covered up with extra lies), the faster she could correct them. And then there might be an apology, Fleur would think nothing of it but ask for a chance, the metallic should take some time to know her better, and an evening spent in each other's company... Ponyville didn't have a lot of bars, but all of them were open at this hour. Fleur was absolutely certain she could find somepony willing to buy them drinks. "You don't like me." She could hear it. Anyone could, and Fleur didn't know what Joyous thought she had done. "Oh, really?" Open sarcasm, words almost hissing their way through the night. It felt as if pegasus magic was trying to force moisture into becoming acid. Keep my posture open. Calm. Let her know I'm willing to listen... "I'd like to think I'm entitled to know why." It was a sentence which made the wings flare out, the wide span of an endurance flier to go with that incredible rib cage. "Entitled," Joyous softly said. "Oh, yes. I believe that. You definitely think you're entitled." I don't understand. What does she think I -- "Ponies mentioned you to me, early on," Joyous repeated. "Because we're both beautiful. There was a lot of it shortly after you arrived. It hasn't been happening anywhere near as much lately. I'd have to guess, but... I think some of them just wanted to see us together." The bright, cold yellow eyes briefly surveyed the area. Peered out into the darkness beyond the streetlamp's pool of light, and Fleur wondered what she was seeing. Someone had once told her that pegasi were capable of perceiving heat (and, despite the obvious jokes, it hadn't been meant in the sexual sense: ponies very obviously didn't have an estrus cycle). Those who shifted the seasons had to see what they were working with. It was supposedly a kind of sight which came with its own colors, spectra which couldn't really be described to those who lacked the extra sense. Most ponies staring out into the dark while standing within this many lumens would have trouble making out anything, but with a pegasus... "Looks like everypony's missing out," the metallic observed. Looking for body heat. I have to remember they can do that. If I'm on the run, I'll need more than one kind of camouflage. "And when I say they wanted to see us together," Joyous calmly continued, even as the temperature of voice and air began to drop, "I'd guess some of those desires were actually fantasies. Two mares like us, just -- being together." 'I've thought about it too --' no. Too early. Save that until after I've calmed her down. "It's natural," was what Fleur went with instead. "You already know I'm an escort. There's always clients who want to see two mares together." With what was meant to be the lead-in for a light laugh, "Some of them even hire accordingly. Of course, then it's two mares and the client. And when their intent wasn't just to watch, then some of them aren't quite up to the challenge --" The wide wings shifted, just enough to notice, and chill air blasted through Fleur's fur. "-- stop." Fleur's mouth closed. "I was curious about you." Normal volume again, almost immediately resumed after the single ouburst -- but the atmosphere felt as if it was rippling. "Not enough to go looking, but enough to keep my eyes open and my ears up. I heard a few things, and... after I heard them, there didn't seem to be much point in looking at all." Keep it calm, try to make her calm... "Joyous, I don't know what you've heard, but --" "-- but then I saw you again." The words slashed across Fleur's sentence like talons. "Well, most of the town was in the cider line..." Fleur blinked. "I never saw you there. I would have --" -- wait. She'd thought she'd seen something. That night had found it flickering against her vision. The briefest glimpses... "No." The word was placid, and the increasing movement of the lush tail made the tone into a lie. "You didn't." Slowly, the wings began to refold. "I haven't been in Ponyville all that long," Joyous told her. "I'm still trying to settle in. To -- make friends. That's hard for me." It had been another statement, and it made the tiny laugh feel mandatory. "The way you look? Ponies trip over their own legs, trying to find ways of being your friend! I would know --" Just above a whisper, as the black tail abruptly came to a stop, "-- I don't trust easily." They were words which brought about an automatic reaction, something which never became visible in the pool of light. But Fleur's talent delved deeper, searching for something it could never truly sense. Pieces showed what somepony wanted. There were times, especially when somepony was fresh off a negative experience, when it was possible to infer the opposite. But when it came to what had actually happened, you couldn't get it all from the one it had happened to. You needed -- Softly, "I'm sorry." It wasn't a lie. It was her best guess, it was fully sincere, and now she wanted nothing more than to speak with Joyous, truly talk, because getting to four was going to take a lot of work. It might not be possible at all, and Fleur still wanted to talk. Because the pegasus was beautiful, and... it felt as if something had happened. Something which never should have happened to anypony. They could have a discussion about pain. The ways it could be forged. Turned into a weapon. Fleur had meant the words. Joyous ignored them. "Just going into somepony else's tent... that's a pretty big deal for me," the pegasus continued. "I wasn't going to stay long. But I heard you outside, with Fluttershy." A soft snort. "Of course you were with Fluttershy. I heard you talking to those two stallions. They tried talking to me before I went into the tent, because of course they did. And you said a few words..." The pegasus' lips pulled back from her teeth. "Words about emergencies, and potential missions," Joyous half-spat. "But that was the excuse. You decided you were entitled to that spot. So you found some victims. And you took it." Yes. "No --" The tail was moving again. "-- really? You're really going to stand there and try lying to me?" Dark blue light flashed into my eyes, just before I heard a tent flap drop. She must have looked out for a second and then pulled back. I kept thinking I was seeing dark blue all night. She has hindquarters on her flank. That can't mean a talent for sensing lies... ...unless it's going the long way around for horse apple production. "Joyous --" It was almost desperate. Fleur felt she was allowed to sound desperate. The most beautiful mare in Ponyville (other than herself), possibly one of the most beautiful mares in the world, and every tenth-bit of body language across tense muscles and rippling feathers said the pegasus hated her. She had to fix it -- "I followed you." Because no sentence could be completed, except for the one which had put Fleur into Ponyville. "I watched. You just took. All night, until the two of you finally went to bed. Fluttershy's too innocent to really understand most of it: even I get that, and most of what I know about her is what everypony else says. But I know when an expert is at work. You saw what everypony else had, you figured out how much of it you wanted, and then you took. Over and over, because somepony like you can never have enough --" She's beautiful, she has to understand -- "-- and it's never happened to you?" Air was pulled in between exposed teeth. A forehoof scraped at the road. "Really?" But there had only been one actual word, and it seemed to create an opening. Fleur talked faster. "You're -- look, I know you have to hear this all the time, because I get it too! You're beautiful, Joyous. We both are! Somepony looks like we do, ponies just want to give you things! To make you happy, because they think it'll give them a chance in return! I know it's happened to you --" "-- there's a difference," Joyous cut her off, "between a free offering and one that's been forced. I'd know." There was something young about her voice, deeper than the tones. The flawless body was that of a newly-minted adult, but the voice suggested early adolescence. "It's just flirting!" Moon's craters, did anypony of beauty in this town understand how the world worked? First Fluttershy, and now this? "You have to know what that's like! You're just like me --" The mare's left foreleg stopped scraping at the street. It came up, and then it slammed into the ground. "I'm not!" It was a protest. It was almost a shout of denial and when it came from somepony who was so beautiful, it was also Fleur's turn to ignore something. "-- and we need to be capable of using what we have, because we're only going to have it for so long." Did Joyous truly not recognize that? Were there two mares who needed to be taught? Admittedly, she wouldn't be getting paid in bits for the second education, but Joyous would be grateful and once that happened, they could start working on going to four. "Beauty is a tool. And besides --" She made the mistake, and it began with a laugh. A true one, so rare for her, because she acknowledged her next words as something funny. The humor which came from observing a universal truth. She would lie awake in tangled blankets for hours, reflecting not so much on her words as the reaction to them. A reaction which led to everything which had happened after she spoke. Hindquarters on a flank. A tail groomer. In terms of the obvious, it had felt as if there was nothing else it could mean. Nothing which wasn't sane. "...if you can't hold onto something just because you're attracted to somepony, you don't deserve to have it! Show a little willpower! Or use it! None of them even tried to trade for a nuzzle --" Stark. And the mare's expression twisted into fury, flashing dark blue into Fleur's eyes again -- but it was a cold fury, something which moved down the chill breeze into Fleur's fur and skin. " -- that's what you think? That's what you are?" Fleur didn't understand. All she knew was that any chance to be with the mare was slipping away, four to zero, all she could do was hold her ground and try to think of anything which might work -- "Fine," the pegasus said, and the words were encased in ice. "You think that if you can't hold onto something because you're attracted to somepony, you don't deserve it." A little childishly, "That's what you said. I heard it." "It's just common sense --" "-- you're attracted to me." Fleur blinked. Her talent is -- the same talent doesn't need to have the same icon, if she has mine -- "I saw how you were moving, once you spotted me," Joyous observed, and the tiny laugh had no humor in it. "It's pretty obvious, especially after I watched you flirt up and down the line. Not just that: doing it with Fluttershy at your side. She was right there, and you kept 'flirting' anyway." Maybe she had to tell somepony, just this once. "Fluttershy and I are --" "-- I get ponies doing that around me a lot," and the metallic had cut her off again. "The movement. Because so many of them are attracted. You're better at it than just about all of them, though. Still... you said something." The pegasus' wings flared. "Let's test it," Joyous said, and took off. It wasn't much of a flight. The metallic stayed within the radiance of the tall streetlight. She just moved up and back, to the edge of the pool: something which placed the obsidian tail into darkness. And then as Fleur watched, the reflective blue legs began to weave under the mare's belly and barrel. The air started to dry out. Vapor became visible as white stands between the reflective hooves, quickly thickened and coalesced. Cloud weaving, and quickly: the mare was clearly talented. If that vapor didn't stay white -- "-- I'm not going to send lightning at you," Joyous calmly said. "You can stop backing up. There isn't going to be any rain or hail, either. I'm making something I can rest on, so I don't have to hover the whole time. That's all." And that was exactly what she did. One cloud, just large enough for a single pony to lie down upon. The pegasus landed, curled her legs under her body, and looked down. Fleur, still confused, looked up. Even with a truly talented pegasus, the color of the vapor would need a few seconds to shift: enough time for the unicorn to strike or flee. Joyous was just... resting. Looking down at Fleur from a height, and not even all that significant of one -- except for one factor. In Fleur's estimate, if she were to fully rear up on her hind legs, try to make herself as tall as possible for a few seconds, she would come up just short of reaching the metallic. A place of perceived safety. "One last time," the pegasus calmly said. "You think that if somepony can't hold onto something just because they're attracted, they don't deserve it." It felt as if her own nod was a little shaky, and she wondered how visible that had been. Everything about the encounter seemed to have gone strange. "So we're testing that," came downwind on cold air. "We'll see how you do. You're attracted to me? Then use a little willpower, Fleur." The cloud did not darken. The mare's eyes did. The air was cold. Crisp. Autumn heading into winter, just waiting for the final push. Then the downwind breeze had a scent. Something subtle, an fresh aspect which Fleur barely registered before -- "And hold on to your sanity." -- I. Want. That. I Want That. I WANT. and all she was became desire and all she desired was the mare, the world was the mare and the mare was the world, there were no thoughts of time or pain or bits, there was no need for security because there was no future without the mare, she wanted and a low keening arose in her throat as she began to paw at the road, her skin was flushed and sweat was breaking out in her fur and she couldn't think she couldn't think there was something in her which wanted and it didn't think at all the mare the talent she couldn't reach she couldn't reach not with her hooves she couldn't rear up for long, she wasn't tall enough, she was approaching the cloud and the mare was just looking at her but the wings were flaring again, the mare was getting ready to move if necessary, move away and she wanted shewantedshewantedshe the talent the talent is stronger than anything I've heard about or read or dreamed and it's sex appeal monster abomination nightmare I WANT she's going to fly I WANT she'll fly away and I'll never Her horn had ignited. Glow surrounded her forehooves. fly with her wanted to fly with her everyone else everyone else could and I tried, I always tried, and I was strong enough to get off the ground, but it wasn't flight and she laughed Keratin began to part company with the street. she always laughed but it never hurt I wanted to fly with her and she's I WANT Stopped. Stopped, forelegs just a few tail strands up, with her hind hooves still held in gravity's eternal trap. I want I want to fly I want to fly with her her/not her not her I wish I could fly Fleur's horn winked out, and her forehooves crashed onto stone. "Is..." Her ribs heaved. Sweat rained from her coat. Her tail slammed down between her legs, pressed tightly against her fur, and stayed there as her head lifted and furious pale violet focused on the target of her rage. "Is that all you've got?" Joyous blinked. The air changed. The scent shifted, heaving lungs brought it in, and she didn't want any more. She didn't want anything except to get at the pegasus. Slowly, the metallic stood up. Looked down at Fleur, with body and cloud casting their shadows. "How --" and then the pegasus stopped. Fiercely shook her head, and took a slow breath of untainted air. To get at the pegasus, in the name of making sure that nightmare of a talent was never used again. "You --" Her ribs were still heaving, and her tail wasn't going anywhere until she knew the reaction had gone back down. "-- you..." Her teeth clacked against each other, twice. "...you..." Speech was good. Speech was a sign of something which could think, at least once you got away from the worst specimens at the parties. She just needed to find more words. "You held on," the metallic softly said. "You actually..." One more head shake. "I don't like you," Joyous stated. "I don't like users. That's why I usually do whatever I can not to be one, and it would be so easy for me, wouldn't it? Easier than it could ever be for you. I don't like users, Fleur. But... consider me impressed." Her wings flared out. Dark blue went into Fleur's eyes. And by the time she could see again, the beautiful monster was gone. It's a little strange to go through town now, because I saw so much of it when it wasn't a town at all. Just a few homes and improvised shelters, plus a lot of farting ponies sleeping in a barn. Now there's streets and buildings. I'm starting to see neighborhoods appear. I wonder how the Founders feel, because they were here when there was nothing at all. If it's even stranger for them, to think about the progress when they've got so much in their memories which isn't it. If my grandfoals ever read this, that's what a lot of ponies call the first ones in. They Founded the town. Brass told me that I might get counted on the list, but they'd have to make an exception for a unicorn and they'd be writing my name real small. Laughed when he said it, and I laughed too. We've been friends long enough that we can laugh about that. Also, I'm still not going to tell you what his surname is. Let him do that, if he's still around. It's bad enough that I keep finding ways to bring up the farting. We talked business. He's slowing down, too. Said he's thinking about rearranging some of the shifts, since there's less need to keep ponies going under Moon now. Then we talked about the neighborhoods, and he gave me something that's halfway between news and rumor. When it comes to neighborhoods, one of them is supposed to show up overhead soon. According to what he heard, we're going to see the first real wave of pegasi in three moons. Maybe less. And once they show up, they'll bring the next stage with them. That's how far we've come. We're getting weather management. I told my spouse, as soon as I got home. I hoped it would make her feel better. Ever since she came in, she's been complaining about not having a schedule. Not knowing what's going to happen with the sky every day. I tried to tell her that you get used to it after a while, and I even told her a little about meteorology, which is some science which settler ponies borrowed from the other nations. You're still guessing about what the weather's going to be when you use meteorology, but it's got a better chance of being a good one. But she's wanted a schedule since the day she got here. She wants things to be more orderly. I wish I could get her involved with things in town. There's plenty of mares who'd love to have her as part of their group, if they'd just get the chance to know her. But she doesn't go into town much. Still, even when there's more of a town to go into. She's mostly on the porch. I thought I did pretty well when I picked the site for our house. Maybe she agrees with me, because she's on the porch so much. I come home and find her sitting there on the rocking bench I put in for her, just swaying back and forth a little and looking at Canterlot. Sometimes when I'm in bed by myself and she hasn't come up, it feels like she's either looking at it, or she's there. I wish she wouldn't make so many trips. Sure, there's stuff which has to be purchased and you can't get it all in town, but we've got a decent mail service going. She could just place orders. But she goes herself, stays overnight most of the time, or for a few days. I worry about her. The road's got just about all the protections now, but it's never going to be completely safe. As much as she heads into the capital, it feels like something has to go wrong eventually. But she says we need things. As much as she goes in to find the ponies she needs things from, she could start opening her own store. She's sure met enough potential suppliers. It's not so much about buying, I think. Or even seeing her friends. She didn't have a lot of really good ones in the capital: we weren't there long enough. She's not comfortable here yet. She wants civilization, all of it. That's why I told her about the weather schedule. So she won't go on the road as much to get into where the rain starts on this minute and stops on another. She thought coming here was a mistake. But I've told her about all the money we've made, how it's going to make things so much easier, and she just says that it means I'm not home enough. So I went home early and told her about the weather management coming in. Three moons. Could be less. That's not so long to wait. Maybe she won't make so many trips between now and then. Since she knows how long she's waiting for. She's on the porch now, while I'm writing this. I'm waiting for her to come up to bed. There's something else I want to talk about tonight. I want my grandfoals to read this journal. If that's going to happen, there's a step which has to start soon. I want to talk about having our first kid. A Ponyville foal. That'll keep her here. Because we'll be a full family. Just like we always wanted, when we were talking about getting married in the first place. The places we might go together. That'll be our anchor.