In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.

This is the first story in The Petriculture Cycle.

Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TV Tropes page.

Prince Blueblood thought the Grand Galloping Gala was over. He thought he could just go to sleep and put it behind him. He never expected to be reliving the same disaster of a day, over and over... and over.

TV tropes page here:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheBestNightEver

Thanks to all the people who wrote the page and all the people who gave me a little wakeup call and comment to become aware of that fact! You can't see it, but you guys put a real smile on my face tonight.

Also, recently, extra thanks to RD Dash for giving TBNE a thorough editing. I've updated the fic accordingly (7.11.12)

If you ask Applejack, she’ll tell you Pinkie Pie can be a few apples short of a bushel even on the best of days. They’ve always been good friends, but nothing more than that. After all, what could a hard-working apple farmer and a sugar-crazed party pony possibly have in common?

As it turns out, the answer to that question may not be a pleasant one, but something good may yet come of it.

What would happen if rubbing a pony's tummy turned you into a pony? We'd be doomed. That's what'd happen.

Picture related in spirit, not substance.

Can a utopian paradise that preaches love and tolerance really make ponies happy? Does contentment really lie in free universal healthcare and open government?

Twilight Sparkle is determined to resist this happy world on a matter of principle, and finds herself sneaking off with a mare called Trixie to hate and loathe each other in secret.

Will their hate-nest go undetected? Or will they be forced to face the dangers of the Ministry of Love and the mysterious Room 101?

As everypony knows, Pinkie Pie can do impossible things. She can hover in midair without wings, play ten instruments at once, and even go days without breathing! Clearly some kind of magic is at work, but what could it be?

Pinkie decides it's finally time to tell her friends the whole, unvarnished truth.

Written for The Writeoff Association's "The Best Medicine" contest.

Though the distance between Pinkie Pie and her five closest friends has grown in the half-century since they claimed their Elements, she does what she can to prevent the others from drifting away. It’s small things, mostly: tea with Rarity, a drink with Rainbow Dash, a few words with each of the others. The friendship still makes each day together magic, and she works as hard as ever to bring cheer to all of her friends. When the smiles come less frequently, that just makes each one that much more precious.

This is Equestria. But something went differently this time. The Everfree is even more out of control, and has become a breeding ground and nesting place for thousands of dangerous creatures. With so many new threats constantly changing, evolving in the darkness, no one knows what the next monster could be capable of. In such a world, the Unknown means Danger.

Meet Pinkie Pie. She's an earth pony who likes parties and making everyone smile. She's very, very good at it.

That's a bad thing.

You see, some of the things she does are... strange. Unnatural. Sure, parties may be her special talent, but that doesn't explain where she got a cannon that can decorate a room. And it doesn't stop at parties. There's something unnatural about that mare. No one can explain it.

Pinkie Pie is an Unknown.

Unknowns are dangerous.

Princess Celestia has taken the poor pony under her wing, and raised her away from unfriendly eyes, allowing her to live what approaches a normal life. Soon, Pinkie will be reintroduced to the world at large, starting with a little town called Ponyville, on the day of the one-thousandth Summer Sun Celebration.

Let's see how that goes.

When I was little, I came to understand the true meaning about a particular trait of mine. I don’t like to talk about it much because I’m just not much of a talkative pony. Or, well, I’m not anymore, but that’s beside the point. It’s just something I find difficult to talk about, much less explain, because unlike what I see, it’s not all black and white. It’s not like anyone could truly understand my condition anyway.

Well, except for maybe her.