The audience cried out.
“Princess Celestia!”
Nightmare chuckled. “Not quite how you're used to seeing her, hmm? The pretty pony princess, gasping for breath, her colorful mane all lifeless and dull, sweat dripping off her heaving sides. Star-spider venom does that to a pony, you know. It leaves you perfectly incapable of movement, with just enough life left to keep your limbs from stiffening up. I designed it that way. It makes it so much easier on the poor spiders; they can take all the time they wish designing their adorable little 'constellations' without having to worry about their materials breaking loose. And oh, does it burn inside.”
She leaned down over her fallen sister. “Better get used to the feeling, Celly. If you think that little vacation on the Moon you gave me was harsh, wait until I turn your precious Elements of Harmony against you, and send you straight into the Sun – only you won't be coming back.”
There were two guards who had stayed in the main hall. They started to advance, their faces set in determined scowls, but Nightmare Moon's head snapped up, and they found themselves pinned by her icy glare.
“I would not try that if I were you,” the Night Princess warned. As she spoke, she dropped the guards she was already carrying to the ground in front of the stage. The crowd backed away, cries of horror rising at the sight of the injured forms.
“S- Shining!” Pinkie gasped. She rushed down to where the guard captain lay, face bruised, burned, and breastplate dented in a way that was not possible with unbroken ribs. “And – and Hokey Smokes, and Steel Saber, and...”
Nightmare Moon shook her head. “Truly, I desire only the heartfelt affection of all my dear subjects. You are capable of great love; such is the warmth which you have have always gifted my sister.” She frowned. “But I suppose that affection will lead some of you to resist me. For her. My older sister... Do you not see why I had to do what I did?”
She stomped her hoof. There was a crack, as the wood floor of the stage splintered beneath her.
“Even in her current state, she threatens to overshadow me. Well, no more! Tonight, we shall have an end.”
Nightmare's eyes flashed across the audience.
“But for that,” she said, “I will need some... volunteers.”
With a suddenness that caught everypony wholly off-guard, she was on one side of the hall, grabbing a small, orange filly. “A pegasus,” she said, murmuring to herself in a voice that carried across the whole chamber.
Then she was over by the dance floor, where the record player was still spouting unfittingly cheery music. At her appearance, a yellow foal with a bow in her mane stumbled back. Before the foal could get away, she was snatched up by the Night Princess. “An earth pony...”
She disappeared. There was a squeal from under one of the round tables, as Fluttershy threw herself out from where she had been hiding a moment before. Dark smoke lifted the table, and set it to one side, as Nightmare Moon held up a third filly who had also been concealed there. “And a unicorn. Excellent.”
With a flash of un-light, she was back on the stage. The limp body of Celestia lifted slowly off the ground, carried in Nightmare Moon's magic aura alongside her other unwilling prisoners.
“Farewell, my little ponies,” the dark mare said. “I will return to you soon enough. Enjoy the rest of the night. It's going to be very long indeed.”
The three captured fillies struggled in the air. The unicorn and the earther cried out to their sisters. “Rarity!” “Applejack!”
The pegasus didn't have a sister. So she called for her hero instead.
“Rainbow Dash! Help me!”
In a whirl of maniacal laughter and shadows, Nightmare Moon was gone, taking the Princess and the fillies with her.
Chaos ran rampant.
“She took Applebloom!” Applejack cried. “Sweet Celestia, she took Applebloom!”
Rarity was in a panic. “Sweetie Belle! Oh, our parents are going to kill me.”
“Stop holding me back!” Rainbow Dash roared, managing to lift the pile of six ponies who were desperately trying to restrain her a few inches before collapsing. “I don't know who that filly was, but she needs me. She asked for me. I've got to save her!”
“They were so scared,” Fluttershy sniffed. “And I was- I did- … I should have done something...”
Twilight galloped up to where her brother lay on the floor. Her breath hitched as she drew close, and she found herself unable to step the rest of the way. She hardly noticed the bright pink pony sitting beside him. His eyes... the- the blood...
“Shining!” Spike called out from his perch on Twilight's back. He hopped down, and ran to the fallen captain. “Dude, are you all right? Talk to me!”
Shining Armor groaned.
“S-Spike?” he mumbled. “'S that you?”
Pinkie's ears pricked up. Tears were streaming down her face.
“Shining? Shining, you're alive!”
She snatched him up in a back-breaking hug. “I thought I'd never see you again! You were so hurt, and when she dropped you, I just –”
“Don't touch my brother!” Twilight spat out, pulling the two apart in a display of magical prowess.
Shining coughed. “Heh heh, ow... It's nice to see you too, Miss Pinkie. Try- not to hug ponies with- broken ribs. Its- painful...”
He turned to look at his sister.
“... Twily,” he smiled.
Twilight's mouth trembled. She wanted to smile back, to match the casual warmth her brother showed even with his eyes swelling up and his fur singed and blackened along the side of his face. Just a small smile, a little thing, anything to show that it would all be alright. But the smile wouldn't come. Twilight's vision was blurring, and her eyes hurt, but she couldn't close them. She just stared.
“Wait here Shining,” Pinkie said. “I'll go get Redheart!”
She started to step away, froze for a moment, and turned back.
“She's a nurse. I just met her today!”
Pinkie took off into the crowd, but was back a moment later.
“– And, and I'll also get Doctor Steady Hoof. He's a doctor!”
“I got that, Pinkie,” Shining grunted.
“Right. Be right back!”
And then Pinkie was gone again.
Twilight, still in a daze, watched as the pink pony left. She laid her brother back down on the floor as gently as she could.
“... Twilight,” Shining grunted. “Do you think you could help me- get this armor off?”
Twilight shook her head. “Shining, I don't think that's a good idea,” she blurted. “I- I wouldn't know what I was doing. It could be the wrong choice; I could just hurt you more. Just wait here for the professionals. They- they should be here any moment now.”
“It's crushing my ribs, Twily,” Shining said with a lopsided grin. “How could that be- the wrong choice?”
“It could be holding them in place! If I took it off, the bones could shift, or you could start bleeding internally, or your lungs could collapse! I just can't- I mean- They're getting a doctor. He'll be here in a minute, so just- just wait!”
Twilight was shaking like a leaf. Spike looked up at her. He rested a clawed hand on her foreleg.
“... Twilight?” he asked.
Twilight looked down at her young assistant.
Her face softened, and she stopped shivering quite so much.
“... Shining, what do we do now?” Twilight asked. “She took the Princess. She... did this to you. How do we stop somepony like that?”
“The Elements of Harmony!”
Twilight jumped as Pinkie seemed to suddenly appear beside her.
“We need to get the Elements if we want to keep Princess Moon from causing eternal night,” Pinkie said. “Oh, and I got the medics. They're over here, guys! Come on!”
As the medical ponies crowded around the injured guards, Shining Armor leaned up and grabbed Twilight by the leg.
“Don't lose hope, Twilight. She can be beaten. We'll- make it through this.”
“Stop moving,” a nurse commanded. “Lie back down.”
Shining did, and Twilight was pushed to the side as the professionals took over.
She turned to where Pinkie sat bobbing her head up and down in an attempt to see past the wall of medical practitioners.
“The Elements of Harmony?” Twilight repeated. “She – Nightmare Moon mentioned them, in her speech. What are they?”
Pinkie smiled. “The Elements of Harmony are pretty much just the most magical things that ever did or did not exist! There are six of them, well, only five are actually known, but there's a sixth one too, and together they can make this magic rainbow that goes woosh, and all crash, and makes everything all better!”
“... Uh huh...” Twilight frowned. “And... these Elements can beat Nightmare Moon?”
“You bet!” Pinkie grinned. “The Princess told me about them once. They'll do the trick, no problem. They can do all sorts of things!”
Twilight stood there for a moment.
“You're the Princess' student, right?”
“Yep,” Pinkie said. “That's me!”
Twilight nodded. “Then am I correct in my assumption that you will be the one who will lead an attempt to rescue both the missing Princess and the hostages which have been taken by the culprit, Nightmare Moon?”
Pinkie blinked. “I... guess? You talk funny.”
Twilight flinched. “Sorry. I'm just... anyway, if that's the case, I- I want to help.” Her face hardened. “I want Nightmare Moon taken down, and I want to be a part of it. Let me help you find the Elements.”
Pinkie's lips pursed. “You suuure?” Pinkie asked. “Because the Elements are in the Everfree forest, and Princess Moon is already looking for them by now. In fact, she probably won't have to look at all; they're up in the old castle, and she used to live there, so she probably knows where it is.”
“Then we'll just have to get to them first!” Spike piped up.
Twilight glanced at her assistant, where he stood by her side with a determined look on his childish face.
“Could you excuse us for just one moment, Miss Pie?” Twilight asked.
“Well, okay. But wouldn't it be better if I excused you for a whole bunch of moments?”
“Thanks,” Twilight said, pulling Spike over to one side. When they were a few steps away, her gaze locked on to his.
“You're not coming with us!” she glared.
Spike sputtered. “W- what?”
“My brother is seriously injured right now, and I'm not going to let that happen to anyone else I care about!” Twilight hissed. “That thing who calls herself a princess has already taken too much from me. I'm not letting that happen to you, Spike. I can't. It won't. It's too dangerous.”
Spike frowned. “I care about Shining Armor too, you know! He's my brother too. Or the closest thing I've got to one, anyway. And what about you, Twilight? What if something happens to you?”
“You can't come,” Twilight repeated. “I'm old enough to take care of myself, but you're just a baby dragon. I'll be fine.”
“Old enough to take care of yourself against someone who took down Princess Celestia and an entire squadron of royal guards?”
“I'll be fine! I'll be-” Twilight shook her head. “But I couldn't protect you, if you came. I'm not strong enough, Spike. You can't come this time.”
“That's not fair!”
“Life's not always fair!” Twilight roared.
She panted. She hadn't meant to shout.
“... I need you to stay here,” she said, finally. “Keep an eye on Shiny for me. Send- send me a message if anything happens.”
Spike fumed. “That's baloney, Twilight, and you know it.”
“Spike, if we run into anything we can't handle, I need you here so I can send for reinforcements,” Twilight said. “Can you do that for me?”
Spike stared at her for a moment.
“... Fine,” he said at last.
“Good,” Twilight said. She wavered for a moment, then gripped the dragon in an overwhelming hug.
“I love you, Spike,” she choked. “I know I don't say it often enough, but I do, and – and I'm sorry, but I just can't... can't...”
“You won't,” Spike said. As they pulled apart, he looked up at her. “Just don't make me lose you, alright? I love you too.”
“I won't,” Twilight promised. She smiled a bit. “You won't lose me.”
Twilight rubbed her eyes as she walked back to where Pinkie Pie was waiting. The pink mare had a small frown on her face.
“Everything going okay?”
“It's fine,” Twilight said. “Spike's not coming. Where were we again?”
“We're all here in the Town Hall,” Pinkie said. “Princess Moon and the Elements are all in the creepy castle in the middle of the Everfree.”
Twilight nodded. “Right. If Nightmare Moon is in the Everfree Forest, then you'll need a team –”
“What?!”
Across the room, Rainbow Dash burst out of the pony pile, sending ponies flying every which way as she rushed up to within inches of Twilight's face. “You know where she is? Where she took them? A team? You've got to let me join!”
Twilight blinked, and took a step back. “You're Rainbow Dash, am I right? The best hunter in Ponyville? And, by extension, all of Equestria.” She turned to Pinkie. “She'd be a great asset inside the forest. In fact, she would be on my list of ponies to take.”
Pinkie nodded. “Sounds good. Welcome to the team, Dash-dash!”
“Ah,” Rainbow slowed. “Right. Of course. I am the best, after all!”
Then she frowned. “Don't call me Dash-dash.”
“Right...” Twilight continued. “Also on my list would be Fluttershy. She's one of the most knowledgeable herbalists and woodsponies I know of.”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “Fluttershy? Are you sure? She's not really the kind of pony who –”
“I'LL DO IT!” Fluttershy shouted above the crowd. For a moment, there was silence. Everypony stared at her where she stood out in the open, knees knocking, one eye hidden behind her long pink mane and very much wishing that it would hide the other eye too. Fluttershy gulped.
“I'll do it,” she squeaked.
“Ooh! Ooh, that's good!” Pinkie nodded. “And then, what about Rarity?” She snatched the white unicorn from out of the crowd. “She makes armor, and armor's really good when you're facing hordes of ravenous monsters. She should totally join our team!”
Rarity coughed. “Pinkie, darling, you flatter me, but I can't exactly throw together a hauberk in the middle of a forest. It takes time, you know.”
Pinkie blinked.
“Do you not want to come and beat Nightmare Moon?” she asked.
“Oh,” Rarity gasped. “Oh no, I'm not missing this for the world. My sister is in danger, and I'm going to move Heaven and Earth to get her back!”
“Then,” Pinkie said, “as official Celestia's student and team leader, I declare Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all part of rescue team 'Pinkie's Party!'”
“W-wait,” Twilight stammered. “What about me?”
“You?” Rainbow Dash asked. “You're a librarian.”
“Yes,” Twilight said. “I'm also Twilight Sparkle, top-graduating student of Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and a world leader in monster research, specializing in dangerous creatures of the Everfree.” She smiled wanly. “I got my first doctorate in it.”
“Accepted!” Pinkie cried. “Anypony else?”
There was silence for a moment as the ponies looked around. Twilight shrugged. “That was it,” she said. “I've made all my suggestions.”
“Then, Pinkie's Party –”
“Wait!”
The ponies turned to look at where Applejack stood beside them. “Ah'm comin' too!” the farmer said.
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Hold on, guys. I'll handle this.”
She floated over to the farmer and laid an understanding hoof on her withers.
“Applejack... You're a really strong pony. I know that, and you know that. But this isn't like an athletics competition, or punching the lights out of some jerk at a bar. You're a farmer, Applejack. A civilian. You're not used to fighting things twelve times your body weight, with venomous claws that'll rip a pony in two.”
“Ah'm goin',” Applejack said. “Nightmare Moon took my sister, and Ah'm gonna get her back, even if Ah lose three legs in tryin'.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “That's not the way the world works, Applejack! You can't just tough it out. There aren't any battle scars in this business, because if you get hit, you're dead. Rarity's already a stretch, but at least she knows something about how monsters fight. You'd just get yourself killed.”
“Applejack accepted!” Pinkie grinned. “Come on guys! Let's get this party started!”
And with that, Pinkie bounced out the door, the others quickly following, leaving Rainbow Dash floating there alone for a moment.
“Wait,” she said. “What just happened?”
“The Everfree Forest!” Pinkie cried.
“I can't believe you guys just left me there,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “You don't just walk out on a pony in the middle of an argument.”
“We didn't,” Applejack said. “Argument was over. Ah won. Then we left.”
“Oh my,” Rarity whispered, as she approached the dark, leafless entrance to the forest. “No matter how many times I go in here, it never seems to feel any more welcoming.”
“... It's alright,” Fluttershy said. “It looks scary, but... a lot of the creatures that live in here are really nice, once you get to know them.”
“Nice?” Twilight frowned. “You must be thinking about a different forest. How could a hydra or a basilisk be considered nice?”
Fluttershy scuffed the dirt path with a hoof. “... They're not so bad. Once you get to know them.”
“Alright!” Pinkie proclaimed. “Let us begin this epic journey which will no doubt be entirely trap-free and effortless, with no interference at all from the dangerous Nightmare we're seeking as we skip across fields of flowers and beautiful rainbows!”
The others stared at her. Pinkie winked.
“Come on, guys. Let's go!”
And now we get to the part where things really begin to differ from canon.
One of the things I was trying to do here was set up definite reasons why each of the mane six would be willing to go on the trip into the Everfree.
I'm also trying to do some very delicate work with Nightmare Moon. She's going to be quite dangerous, firmly in the realm of "bad guy who needed to be locked up," and yet very charismatic at the same time. Kind of like a very beautiful, very sharp, very evil knife.
*Comment edited to retroactively improve readability and make me look good.*
4056624 Canon, not cannon
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Gadblaghlflargn!
*Canon.
Well, at least it was in the comments, and not the story.
Thanks for pointing that out. I'll need to remember the difference, for when I actually need a cannon.
Two good points here. First, of course a Pinkie Pie who grew up around Canterlot Palace would know the names of all the guards! Heck, she'd probably throw them parties on every excuse, and totally be their darling!
Secondly, naming one of them "Hokey Smokes" was a nice touch, as that was one of the names the mainstream Pinkie Pie guessed for Nightmare Moon
One problem later: if Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were in the chamber when Nightmare Moon grabbed Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, wouldn't the reaction of the three aformentioned full-grown mares have been more verbal and more violent than depicted before Nightmare Moon spirited them off? I'm not saying there's much they could have done to stop her, simply that they would have at least been trying to do so. And I do realize the possible plot problem here, as unless someponies held them back, this could lead to them getting killed or seriously injured. It's true that all of them (save perhaps Rainbow Dash) are capable of really good tactical thinking, though.
I notice you did mention six ponies holding Rainbow Dash down!
"lose"
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Ha ha! First typo catch! I'm a real fanfic author now!
Fixed.
4057426
Yes, the characters reactions during Nightmare Moon's speech are much more toned down/ignored than they probably would be if it actually happened. My thinking at the time was that I didn't really want to get in the way of the flow the story had going as I was typing it; interrupting Nightmare Moon would break her aura of control and whatnot, make her lose her villain mystique before its time. Looking back on it now though, I think I could have made it work; it would probably have made that little bit with the crying out and the identification of the fillies more natural and less forced. I might have had to rewrite the intro to the next scene, though.
In a way, part of the problems I feel like I'm having come from having already written a draft of how the events go down, but having changed things in my mind afterwards, so now I have to rewrite them. Only, I like what I have written, so I try to save as much of it as I can, but it often doesn't fit quite right.
Well, we'll see if that problem goes away after this. I've gotten back to where I was, now, so there won't be any more good old stuff to try to incorporate. I'll just have to find out if that makes things easier or harder.
In story, I'm gonna say that they did react; the narration just didn't show it, because nothing important came of it.
4058199
I felt good being of some use to you in catching a typo, given how many typos of mine you've caught -- including some long-embedded ones in some of my best writing on this site!
Yeah, I figured all kinds of things were going on in the background. And Applejack and Rarity would probably have the common sense not to just charge in against Nightmare Moon, especially since what Nightmare Moon said ("witnesses") implied that NM was not going to harm the fillies -- one doesn't grab someone as a "witness" and then kill or seriously injure them, that would negate the whole point of the exercise. Both Applejack and Rarity are -- in their different ways -- intelligent and calculating. Rainbow Dash is the hothead, and she's the one you had six ponies holding down. Ironically, she's the one with the least personally at stake, because at this point she hasn't actually made friends with Scootaloo. But then that's why we love RD.
I find similar problems in describing a complex scene with numerous characters on-stage. Too little detail, and it looks like there wasn't enough budget to pay for speaking scenes. Too much, and the main thread of the plot can get lost. When I did the very same scene from the show's main timeline in Nightmares Are Tragic, I restricted myself mostly to what was shown on-camera for precisely this reason -- I didn't want to get into what (say Cheerilee or Derpy) was saying or doing (in order, probably being utterly-terrified when NM menaced her students and sheltering Dinky under her wing) because it was irrelevant to the main plot.
WILL DIE AND WILL CRY AND WILL STILL REFUSE PIE
4056624
I find "I want to end all life on the planet" to be very non-charismatic.
As for reasons to go into the Everfree, the alternative is unending night. Everypony should have been willing to go. It's just not everypony knew a solution could be found there
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Well, yes, even for a very charismatic person, world genocide is a hard sell. So, one tries not to draw attention to the inconvenient side-effect of everybody dying, and keep the focus where it should be: "I want people to be able to see the stars in the daytime and tell me how much they like them. Is that too much to ask?"
The answer is the same, but the question is harder, and maybe the people who hear it will get it wrong. Maybe.
I would argue against your other point. Going into the Everfree was the correct decision - as in, someone had to do it or everyone would die - but that doesn't mean everyone (or anyone, for that matter) would want to volunteer. Even if everypony had known about what was waiting in the forest, they could just as easily have left the job for someone else to do. Or they could have given up, thinking it was hopeless. Or hid under their beds crying. Or just gone into a blind panic then and there. Looking for the Elements was a good choice, not an easy one. It took initiative to follow Twilight on a hunch, and guts to follow through with her plan.
I'm talking about in canon, of course. In my story, it was more of a selection process made by a person who knew what they were doing and another person who was just picking out names. But they still all had to decide to come along, so the main issue is the same, I guess.
Thanks for reading my comments, and for commenting yourself. I appreciate that you take the time, and I enjoy hearing your thoughts.
Emphasize "won't" instead of "you".
4488528
I disagree. Both uses of emphasis make sense (emphasizing the difference between the one who is banished or the difference in duration), but I feel this way sounds better as spoken.
Of course, if there is some rule I'm breaking that I am unaware of, or if it bothers enough people, I could change it to something else. But for now, I will keep it the way it is.
Thank you for spending the time to point out something that bothered you.
Pinkie is successful in this story at being not goofy. (I use "goofy" as an insult)
*Massages face in frustration* Fluttershy, I hate you so much right now.
Domesticating crisis-inducing animals (especially ones that have a kill-capture order) is not... one moment, please.
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The producers of Laughter is Faith do not endorse the views and opinions expressed by the characters in this story. The producers are not responsible for any injury or death sustained by attempting to befriend dangerous magical creatures. Should you ever encounter a hydra or basilisk, please remain as far away from the creature as possible, and seek professional assistance immediately.
Pinkie, did you just invoke Narrative Casualty?
hold on. Where's celestia? was she in the room or was nightmare moon just talking about what she did to ehr?
I seriosuly thinkeither I missed soemthing ehre or you did. not sure which.
then again I do tend to skim sometiems, especially when i'm tired.
4056624 you aren't the first person to attempt to mae nightmare moon more dangerous than canon in an alternate universe story. several fics have done this, such as Rainbooms and Royalty and the Manehattenverse.
the lunaverse does not do this due to its very premise, so we don't get Nightmare Moon at all, though Corona is similar but different enough.
and the universe where Snowblind is set apparently has something completely different.
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I suppose it's a bit easy to miss, but Celestia was the pale, limp form that was lying at Nightmare Moon's hooves in the previous chapter. She's still lying there until Nightmare picks her up and leaves.
"But you'll die!" Twilight gasped.
"Nothing (other than perhaps some modern medical expertise) can stop that now. Just for once... let me see you... with my bare chest..."
Twilight blinked, "That... makes absolutely no sense..."
Shining derped, "Sorry, I think Nightmare Moon brained my damage."