"Dream A Little Dream Of Me": WINNERS! · 6:19am Sep 30th, 2015
And now ... the moment we've all been waiting for!
It has been a heck of a week, my friends. As the entries rolled in to my contest to write the epilogue chapter to The Last Dreams of Pony Island, it quickly became apparent that there was magic ahoof. The entries started strong ... and then kept one-upping each other in ever more surprising ways. Narrowing this field down to a single winner to attach to the story has felt like murdering 22 of my most talented pony broodlings just so the last can leave me and spawn a crystal-themed hive up north. Except with less Circle of Life and more prizes.
Prizes! Prizes. Prizes?
Prizes
Before I roll along into the results, first I'd like to thank the generous spirit of the half-dozen patrons of the arts who have helped me literally double the prize pool. This has raised the number of winners from three to six, and gives each winner a far broader list of choices for their reward.
This is the new, complete list of what's at offer:
• Courtesy of Grand_Moff_Pony: One custom Build-A-Bear (pony or otherwise), total value up to $30 before shipping, and domestic U.S. shipping (other countries may be covered at GMP's discretion)
• Courtesy of Themaskedferret: Paper comic-book copies of the IDW MLP "Reflections" story arc (issues #17-20)
• Courtesy of KwirkyJ: One free audiobook commission of a story of your choice! (Anything 'teen' rated or milder, soft limit of 3000 words. Non-pony is accepted!)
• Courtesy of an anonymous donor: A Steam gift copy of the game Contradiction — a beautiful, fully FMV whodunit with Phoenix Wright-style gameplay, about investigating the suspicious drowning death of a woman in a reclusive community. (Sounds familiar ...) I've played it and can recommend it as brain-engaging and fun.
• Courtesy of Not_A_Hat: A bundle of adventure- and/or horror-themed Steam game keys! Included are La Mulana, Eldrich, and Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs.
• $10.00 USD
• $10.00 USD
• $5.00 USD
• Horizon will read an MLP fanfic of your choice (up to 50,000 words, or the first 50k of a longer work), and review and recommend it to his 700+ followers
• Horizon will offer a private Writeoff-style constructive critique for up to 10,000 words of story, with in-depth feedback on both good and bad, with a focus on larger-scale issues like structure, theme, and tone
• Horizon will write a blog post on a writing-craft topic or MLP-related topic of your choice
• Horizon will write a minific (up to 750 words) based on a prompt of your choice
Dubs Rewatcher, who is working on an audio reading of The Last Dreams Of Pony Island, has also volunteered to create a reading both the official winning chapter AND the Reader's Choice winner!
So here's what's going to happen. Prizes will go to six separate entrants. First place gets $25, their chapter in the story, and first pick from the above list. Second and third places next get their pick from the list. Reader's Choice winner gets fourth pick, plus Dubs' reading as a bonus prize. "Left Brain" winner (top scorer in that category) gets next pick, and last but not least, "Right Brain" winner (top scorer in that category).
Speaking of left brain and right brain, one more digression before the winners!
Judging
Thank you, again, to the fine folks who graciously sacrificed a weekend to not only read poetry but also juggle numbers with me to get the entries well-ordered. Bradel, Bad Horse, Filler, and Professor Plum all were thoughtful and dependable on short notice, and this would have been an insane undertaking without them.
A quick note about methodology. We scored every entry out of a possible 100 points. "Right brain" was easy: five judges, five 1-10 scores. For "left brain", it got a little more complex.
I boiled down the story's mysteries and contradictions into four categories:
Who is primarily responsible for Peridot's death? How and why? (15, subdivided roughly into Opportunity, Motive and Timing, and taking into account how the story also ruled out other prime suspects)
What is Littlemoth worried about in her dream? (5)
Who, what and where is "Palei Hantu"? (5)
Who flung the spear at U Low Kene? (5)
Each of those questions dug down to apparent contradictions in the source text. Partial credit came from simply noting the contradiction and the rest from resolving it in a logically consistent way.
The final 20 points came from the judges scoring each entry for Clarity: how understandably, completely and elegantly it presented whatever solution it offered.
I tried to reward outside-the-box thinking, with plenty of opportunities for extra credit when an entry proposed a unique solution or profound reframing of the facts. A really clever theory which was also impossible/contradictory basically canceled out into a net bonus of zero, but some stories really went outside the box and rode the extra credit train for 5 or more bonus points.
If you want to know just how your entry did, I've linked to a PDF at the bottom of the post with the full list of entrants and scores-by-category.
And without further ado, let's give some awesome writing some recognition! 
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Honorable Mentions
While these don't come with prizes, there are some entries which landed outside the winner's circle that demanded extra recognition.
Honorable Mention, Versebreaking:
AugieDog's "I ask you, sister, tell me true"
For telling a coherent story in a jaw-droppingly constrained form, and showing us free-verse heathens how it's done.
While it fell short of answering Pony Island's mysteries, this has to be seen to be believed. A definite technical accomplishment.
"I just realized the rhyme scheme here is ABAC BCBD CDCE etc. This is woven a lot more tightly than I gave it credit for."—Horizon
"This forced me to rescale everything on my Right Brain slate. Whoever wrote this is getting an insta-follow if I'm not following them already."—Bradel
Honorable Mention, Magnum Opus Dissonance:
KitsuneRisu's "I figgerured out murderpone"
For a joke entry that earned overwhelming praise, even though the serious entry outscored it both with judges and readers.
Early on, Rissie joked about submitting an entry blaming the murder on the Protoss, a race of aliens from the popular computer game series Starcraft. In the spirit of levity, I said that I'd waive the one-entry limit if that was actually submitted. He did, so I had to. Less because of a compulsion to keep my word than because of the zergling claws at my neck. I think he's still there. Help me.
"One of the funniest bits of writing I've read in a long time. Completely subversive."—Bradel
"My god. Luna was Kerrigan all along."—Filler
The Losing-With-Honor-able Mention:
Not_A_Hat's "Honorable Li Kao."
For its indomitable spirit in the closest-fought duel of the contest.
As the Reader's Choice votes rolled in, a late surge of voters suddenly sent this to the front of the pack. Then the story it displaced came back with a vengeance, and they traded blows with every new ballot, surging neck-and-neck past their closest competition. In the end, the battle of titans came down to a single point, less than 15 minutes from the voting deadline. Ironically, the core of this story was how its protagonist only needed two bits to overturn a city ... maybe he should have spent three?
"I like that this gives a view to what can happen to the Nocturnes after Luna's fall. I also really like the idea that Hotspur intentionally provoked all this."—Bradel
"Tight prose. Nice use of dreamweaving and Songs. I love the opium trade angle. Gives the whole thing a nicely karmic flavor."—Horizon
Honorable Mention, All-Around Excellence:
BlazzingInferno's "Praise the Eternal Sun"
For coming within striking distance of literally every award below.
There wasn't a single category in which this was more than two places away from a prize. In a field of heavyweights, it stood its ground and turned in an eminently trophy-worthy performance. Sometimes the game just comes down to those last few points.
"Sirens vs. Changelings. Both feed on ponies' emotions, but in different directions. Fascinating conflict."—Filler
"The structure of descending line lengths in each stanza, inverted at the end, is a lot of fun to read. The solution stays true to the style of the original, while still being clear and clever."—Bradel
I wish that I could spotlight every single one of the entries in the competition — the number of entries that I actively enjoyed was astounding (I felt guilty about all my mid-range scores!), and there wasn't a single one that didn't have at least one cool moment or neat turn of phrase. But I've kept you waiting long enough! Let's get to the winners, and just take this as a recommendation to read through all the submissions once you're done.
And now the awards, working our way toward the top!
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Right-Brain: Best In Class
Cold in Gardez's "The waters of Myinnkyun’s harbor"
This twists the contest premise back upon itself: if a city is nothing more nor less than its people, can a city not dream? And if so, wouldn't the stillness of the lost city's ruins be the true Last Dream of Pony Island? A Lost Cities-style revisitation of Myinnkyun after all the blood and fire has been spent, and a striking epitaph that the judges awarded nearly unanimous 10/10s on style points.
"What is a town? A miserable little pile of secrets!"—Bradel
"If I hadn't asked for the epilogue to solve the murder, this would have been my personal runaway winner. In mood, theme and message, this nails the original; the dream conceit is so natural it's hard to remember how hard this is bending the prompt; and the idea of Myinnkyun as a Lost City is simply exquisite."—Horizon
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Left-Brain: Best in Class
Windfox's "...and those are the dreams of the Myinn"
This contest seems to be bringing new talent out of the woodwork — this is the first of two virtually unknown authors in the winner's circle. (Windfox has just 4 followers as of this writing ... get in early and beat the rush!) This tale shifted effortlessly from a quiet character piece, contrasting Palei Hantu the minotaur and her Nocturne counterpart Littlemoth, into an almost Sherlockian journey of deduction, sloughing off red herrings and zeroing in on nearly every clue in the story ... only to turn around with one of the contest's strongest moments of realization. I expect great things from this author moving forward.
"This carries the theme in its own directions well. What a bittersweet closer."—Horizon
"I like that this really goes back to the Rashomon well, stressing Littlemoth's inability to know the truth, and how she needs to decide for herself what she believes. I also like the heavy character focus and clear future situation it presents."—Bradel
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Reader's Choice Award
Dubs Rewatcher's "Shame! Shame"
This is the entry everyone's going to remember for its pictographic presentation and the two-dimensional sprawl of its poetry, but let's also take a moment to recognize how hard it clawed for every inch of this victory, pulling off a literal last-minute upset. It's not hard to see what drove it to the top, with the rich layers of its prose and presentation packed like a lasagna of better metaphors than I can write.
"Certainly one of the more enjoyable ones to read. Very nice visuals."—Professor Plum
"When I saw "The Night Of No Moon" / "The Night She Betrayed You" and realized it was set in the shape and color of the Elements of Harmony's gemstones, I knew I was in for an experience. This went on to deliver."—Horizon
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Third Place Award
Monarch Dodora's "Did you hide, U Low Kene?"
Another out-of-nowhere contender who I expect great things from — I've already told everyone to follow Monarch Dodora, so maybe this time you'll believe me! Monarch burst onto the scene with this commanding philippic that twists into a self-denunciation and gripping lament, sliding its deep analysis in amid linguistic research that might even have outstripped the original's.
"The narrator saying she will join with U Low Kene in the hereafter, as her punishment, tells us several things all at once: Her view of his actions, her view of her own actions, and her character. Her controlled bitter voice is powerful."—Bad Horse
"Was that... a Beethoven reference? Good lord. Aside from that, a very strong entry, and one that went in a completely different direction to most."—Professor Plum
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Second Place Award
Foehn's "The old stallion calls me"
The fight for first place wasn't quite as nailbitey as the Reader's Choice duel, but this came within two points of the top slot — driven by an amazing command of poetic form that drove Horizon to distraction getting the entry properly formatted for FIMFic. So very worth the time spent. The echoes of the source poem are used powerfully, and there's little to be said about the unique side-by-side section other than that it demands a read for how effortlessly it accomplishes three goals at once. This was the other entry to deeply dive into local linguistics — along with the associated mythology, which gets put to breathtaking use as a framing device. All that and top marks in analysis, too.
"I love the structure of answering the mysteries by elaborating the dreams themselves. The changeling idea is also awesome."—Bradel
"Quite possibly my favourite story overall. I loved the way the multiple dreams were dealt with at once."—Professor Plum
"It's really delicious how this weaves in the source material. It's really delicious how this does a LOT of things."—Horizon
Well, I think I've built up enough suspense, yes?
So let's celebrate the new official ending of The Last Dreams Of Pony Island:
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
First Place Award
Skywriter's "Coy to the bitter end, I see"
I don't think there's any praise I could give which would top one simple fact: the Reader's Choice voting is a solid wall of recommendation for this story. It was listed as at least an honorable mention on virtually every single ballot. The judges were similarly blown away. From the first line — bookending Pony Island's epistolary opening — to the final exquisitely delivered prompt drop, this twists through a psychological journey that both draws out and expands upon the source. Skywriter once again shows us why he's one of the fandom's reigning top-tier authors, and I'm honored to add this to Pony Island.
"Damn good. Very nice dark twist."—Professor Plum
"Rosetta's argument that closure is more important than truth is perhaps the most elegant way I've seen someone resolve all the tangled threads in this story."—Bradel
"The 'smallest of poppies'. Lays out the whole truth but ends with a lie; this understands Pony Island maybe better than I do. Then the KO blow of the prompt drop. I am reduced to repeating 'yes': yes yes yes yes."—Horizon
That's it, at last! Time to go add Skywriter's amazing entry to the story, start messaging winners about their prizes, then take a long-overdue nap.
If you want to browse the full results, have a link. Otherwise, thank you all for coming with me on this wild and wonderful ride!
...
... 
Oh, yeah. And I probably should have explained my original solution, huh?
But seriously, I need to get up and uncross my eyes for a bit. Congratulations to all our winners! And thank you all! I can do some more personal musings on the story tomorrow when my brain untwists.
3431327
Yes.
Anyway, well done to the winners! Glad to see there was such an outpouring of talent here.
Uh
UH
But seriously, thank you so much to everyone for your votes. As I mentioned in my poem's explanation, I write, help run, and perform regularly for the Geneseo Poets' Society, the best (the best) poetry organization in upstate New York. These results bring me a tremendous amount of pride that my hard work within the Society has maybe paid off. This was my first ever attempt at any sort of structure within a piece—I dabble in free verse almost exclusively—and I myself am very proud of how it turned out.
I have my recording studio reserved for this Saturday. Skywriter, I hope to do your poem justice!
Love,
Dubsy-wubsy
Also, hopefully this maybe proves that I'm worth more than that stupid jokefic I have in the box right now. Rumors of my stupidity are greatly exaggerated!
Congratulations to all the winners, especially to Monarch Dodora, who's definitely someone to keep their eyes on in the future (and one that I personally particularly liked as well).
This, of course, in no way takes away from every other winner, who has definitely earned their splots in the contest. A hearty congratulations to Skywriter, who has once again blown away the competition with these little things called words.
A very well-done to Horizon for hosting, conceptualizing and running through everyone's entries, and many thanks for the judges as well for their time.
I hope to see this go on. Community events are always great fun, and it would be very nice to be able to do this again.
3431327
Can I take a moment to thank you, Horizon, for all the work you've put into this? Not only did you write a mind-bendingly amazing poetry collection that kicked all of our personal muses into overdrive, but you managed to organize, run, and administrate your own poetry writeoff in the space of, like, two weeks. That's fuckin' awesome.
Take as much time as you need to untwist that brain, dude. You deserved it.
But just make sure to twist it back into place in time for this weekend's Writeoff.
Grats to the winners, especially our new writers and, of course, the inestimable Skywriter.
(Note: the EPA actually estimates that Skywriter gets 42 mpg)
3431327 I was hoping you'd written one of the entries, so your ending would have to compete against everybody else's. But this was a great event.
BTW, horizon, who were the judges for this contest?
3431382
Yeah, I hear they were very intelligent individuals with impeccable taste!
Primarily because none of them were gryphons, who have merely peckable taste.
Congrats to the winners! And thanks to horizon and the judges for their hard work! Seriously, this contest was a lot of fun.
3431382
fffffffffffffff—
I KNEW I forgot something.
... Is what I would say, if I wasn't being distracted by my sudden and mysterious lack of ninjas. It's almost like they're off copying and pasting from my earlier callout in order to add something to the post! But that would be silly.
Seriously though, thank you, and Bradel, and Filler, and Plum.
Congratulations to the winners and thanks to everyone who participated in the contest for making the contest so enjoyable! I'm glad I took the time to participate in the reader's choice.
3431365
D'aww. You're welcome.
This weekend is going to be a little weird. For the second time in six months, a minific writeoff is cross-scheduled against a convention I'm attending, so I'm going to have to find some down time at the con and half-ass an entry to keep up my perfect attendance record.
Man, FimFic needs more contests like this - well thought out and impeccably executed! Thanks for running this, horizon, and and good work everyone!
3431327
I feared to hope so high. Thank you to absolutely everyone for being a part of this, all the writers and judges who joined together on this shared experience in trying to figgerured out murderpone. I feel like I've been at one of those murder mystery parties all week, and you all made it exponentially better than it would have been in isolation. A hundred thanks to horizon for doing what I strongly feel is some sort of literary sorcery with this piece, whose execution was positively ensnaring. This story isn't literature you read and react to; this story is a spell that extracts your brain for a moment and puts it in a word-maze of the author's own devising. I am still trapped and haunted by that night in the public house before everything goes horribly wrong, listening to Leitmotif play the reel and watching Littlemoth dance, and I suspect a little tiny piece of me will never escape it. This is straight-up dumbfounding ponyfic genius, and it shows in how much we invested in it of ourselves. (I was peppering horizon with drafts for a while because I quite literally had the thought "WHAT IF I DIE LATER TODAY AND THE CONCLUSION I JUST DREW NEVER MAKES IT TO HORIZON I BETTER SEND IT NOW.") Mad kudos for setting up a solidly-run and legitimate contest structure on top of it all. I think we all would have been content with "I liked this and this and this OKAY RESULTS DONE" so an actual thing with Numbers and Spreadsheets and such is going beyond the call.
Thanks to everyone who read my entry in the judging phase, special thanks to those who graced it with a spot on your top three or H.M. list. Just a whole fsckton of thanks being thrown around here with a shovel. I realize that this is a lot of work on our host's part but I would love (and also, given my investedness, slightly fear) to see murderpone become a thing that happens again.
And as I said elsewhere in the comments, everyone here, judges and authors alike, took this opportunity to make something where there once was nothing. Art was done. In my book, that's a win all around.
TL;DR aliens
Congratulations to all the winners, and thank you, horizon, for putting all of this together. I'm happy to have been a part of it... even if it wasn't a very notable one.
Still, I got to read twenty-two incredible conclusions, and I'm now following two notable authors who would've otherwise flown under my radar. I'd call that a win.
What I take away from this is that I have met only MOST of the pony writers I need to. I've shared meals (in real life!) with Horizon, Skywriter, Bradel and many others. In virtuality, I've known AugieDog (and more) for years. Of course, Cold in Gardez always has my praise, despite my lack of direct contact. But there are a lot of new faces here too. You all deserve praise as well! I may be saying this a bit presumptuously, but... If any of you want to plan to be in Seattle next spring, say May 13-15, then I'd ask you to reach out to me. We have this little convention called "Everfree Northwest" and we're working our tails off to provide the best writing track in the pony fandom. I'd really like to have some new guests!
Hooray!
Thanks to you, horizon, and all the writers who participated, and the judges and voters and all. This was a real treat, as a reader: so many skilled authors writing such a variety of interesting, intriguing, lovely and complex stories!
Finally, many congratulations for the winners!
Oh this has been so much fun. Thank you, Horizon, for putting it on for all of us! Now I'm gonna have to go reread Pony Island with the new epilogue to get the full experience.
Congrats to the winners! Beautiful writing, clever explanations, and an astounding outpouring of creativity on everyone's part--this was so much fun to participate in. Thanks to horizon for putting it on!
3431402 Wait, when do we get to read your final chapter?
Congratulations to the winners:
Such lovely stuff all around!
And I'm sorry I broke a few brains,,,
Mike
3431851
I think we don't. That was my understanding.
You all crazy, man.
Thank you, everyone who took the time to read, comment on and vote for my scribblings, and a double-helping to the judges for seeing fit to elevate them to third freaking place what is this man there's like two dozen geniuses and one hack here and the hack is not the zergling. Gratz and gratitudes to everyone who put themselves out to write for this: if I had a penny for every time I read something in this collection that made me stop and go "damn it I wish I'd thought of that" I'd have, like, 68 pence or something. So many cool ideas and executions in here, and I'm stumped how I got to this position against y'all.
Cheers all everyone who's followed me because of this! I used to kid myself I'd one day write something that'd attract half this attention, and now I've... uh... oh, crap, I'm being followed now WHAT THE CRISPIES IS HAPPENING
And, finally, to Horizon, who deserves enough thankyous that if I wrote them all out I think the site would crash. You went to a metric heck-tonne of effort on all this, and then you saw fit to follow and signal-boost little me in addition. If we ever meet, I'm buying you every drink in the bar.
I FORGOT ABOUT THE SPEAR
I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THE SPEAR
3431354
After a little thought, here's what I'm going to do: since any other Reader's Choice winner would have essentially received two prizes (the audio reading plus their pick from the list), and you can't really give a prize to yourself, you will get an additional pick from the list after all six prizes have been chosen.
3431851
The epilogue I wrote? It never existed. There would have been no upside for me to create one.
Pony Island, as originally conceived, ended where it ended, with Sunspot. The original goal was for it to spur discussion in the Writeoff thread, being just open-ended enough to spur debate so I could have the fun of watching what consensus came out of the group. When that didn't happen and I decided to turn this into a contest to formalize that process, and when I decided that the contest would take the form of writing an epilogue to explain the mysteries, any epilogue I wrote myself either would have: 1) been better than the entries, and the contest would have boiled down to a stupid ego-boost for me; or 2) been worse than the entries, and I would have looked like an amateur. #2 is no biggie in the grand scheme of things, but it's an unnecessary self-inflicted hit for no gain I cared about. Plus #1 actually carries some severe additional costs — there would have been a very strong implication that every entry which I beat would have been worth less than not entering the contest at all, and that's not a message I ever would have wanted to send.
That said, now that judging is over and anything I add can only be compared to the actual entries quietly inside the reader's mind, I may write one as a "bonus chapter" — NOT posted to Pony Island, because there's nothing left to say after Skywriter's epilogue, but quietly chucked in at the end of the Dream A Little Dream Of Me collection for the few who care. Another in the ranks of what-might-have-beens. After all, there is one suspect who I realized (while collecting facts for my left-brain judging analysis) fits all the evidence, but who nobody ever accused…
What I did have, instead of a final chapter, was an explanation in my head of what "actually happened". That's been repeatedly requested and I'll draw up some notes on it tonight.
I...uh...wow. Alright, that was unexpected.
Congratulations to all of the other winners - well deserved, all of you. Congratulations, too, to everyone who entered - most of the fun of this thing was reading what you all had to say! Thanks for making it such a fun experience
.
And a big thank you to horizon, for writing Last Dreams in the first place, for having the patience, dedication, and insanity to run the contest, and for spending the time to fix my horribly, horribly ad-hoc formatting. I'd have disqualified me outright for that sort of editing nightmare
.
And, last but not least, thank you to the judges - for putting in the time and effort to read and score each individual entry. Y'all amazing.
Wow. This has been a crazy ride from the moment I first read Pony Island. Thanks for inviting us all to take part in the story, Horizon, and congratulations to the winners!
And thanks for the Honorable Mention
Huge thanks to horizon and the rest of the judges for taking the time out to do this contest.
A bit more specifically, thanks for putting a maximum word count on this thing. If you hadn't, I'd have probably hit about 3-4k words and thrown up my hands on this one. I've never written fiction constrained like that, and having to iterate on drafts once they got to be too bloated helped get the piece to a better place.
Tch, we done gone broke the pictures when we
dressedavatared forHalloweenNightmare Night.3513788
Well, bummer. That'll teach me to use internal fimfiction links.
I guess the solution is to replace the broken images with a hoers icon or something?
Hey, you can help: what should Skywriter's new face look like?
3516801
Clearly it should be an icon of that 'Best Princess' he's always banging on about. You know, that one.
CC: 3431505 Oh, hey, we're just choosing your face. Don't mind us.
(Okay seriously there's like no hoers Cadances anywhere. Even Google only gives me this. It's like she's not even trying.)
3516801,
3517941
I suppose this is my payback for accidentally deleting you over in the Harshwhinny forum, right?
3517941
No hoers Cadance? Oh ye of little faith.
tomorrowlands.org/images/pony/hoers-cadance-192.png
(source)
3517990
Aw, don't be silly. If this were payback I could have iconified this.
Now to re-iconify 3431356. Does someone have a derpface Zerg handy?
3518071
i.imgur.com/HzKXb.jpg
3518071
She's so lovely and graceful! It brings a tear to my eye!
Also:
i36.tinypic.com/bhk7xu.png
Admittedly more adorb than derp.
3518073 3518084
Those are both great Zergs. I can't decide!
Quick, 3517941! Tiebreaker! That way you get to decide which one of them to pick on, so I can turn around and give them an opportunity for icon-related vengeance. DANCE, PUPPETS, DANCE
3518084
Adorbs, you say?
3518101
Uhhh
I want to say Skywriter's cos the art of it is every bit as graceful as the Cadance, but I can't just say no to the sheer panache of Tommy Lee Jones...
... and Kits needs all the panache he can get after all NO MONARCH THAT WAS HORRIBLE
Forty-five minutes is quick, right?
Why have I spent forty-five minutes searching derpface zerg THIS IS WHY I NEVER FINISH THINGS
3518159
New icon equipped! KitsuneRisu's panache penalty is lowered by 2.
3518084 3518073
And finally … petty vengeance time. How do we fix Monarch's icon?
3518248
I suppose there's always the majestic and not at all "two-headed grasshopper chicken" route.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/starfox/images/a/a6/Md1.gif/revision/latest?cb=20070908194729
3518342
Which one's Monarch, and which one's Dodora?
3518355
I don't know! I don't play Star Fox, which I guess is like Wing Commander but with furries. I mean, more furries than Wing Commander already has. I am hesitant to be associated with Internet degenerates like furries, because I have heard they masturbate, which is obviously the worst thing you can do, at all.
3518355
Furry Dodora Masturbation Clickbait
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141006013539/monstermovies/images/7/7f/Two-Headed_Monster.png
3518362 3518808
Well, if the two-headed monster is how we're going to play it ... then uploaded and done. I couldn't quite get the first one to look like anything but a tumorous earthworm at 64x64, so FURRY MONSTERS IT IS.
3518159, I hope this experience has taught you a valuable lesson. I also hope you know what that lesson is, because if you ask me I'm just going to mutter something unintelligible about waffles and go back to sleep.
3519774
3518159
muhfukin wffls
martacard.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/eddie-murphy-giant-head.jpg
3519774
The lesson is, "We are so pathetically starved for socialization that we're still using this as a social forum more than one month after the contest."
3519774
Indeed. I have learned never to trust your casual requests for help.
I have also learned that if you Google-Image 'Monarch Dodora' you get maybe a page or so of the actual boss from Starwing, and then you start getting a flipping pictorial timeline of my entire Fimfiction browsing history. Like for serious. It pulls up the pictures from my U Low Kene blog posts, the avatars of users whose pages I've commented on, the cover pics of every story I've apparently ever looked at... there's even Skywriter's avatar from his fricking non-pony writing blog, because I once commented there under this name!
Damn, this means any potential horse fame I acquire could completely screw up Google's Star Fox search returns...
Heeeeehehehehehe FIRST GOOGLE THEN THE WORLD
3519842
Oh thank goodness. I thought it was just me.
3518808
You know, I was looking for a profile bio.
3527396
It's yours baby
3527396
We are forever linked in the eyes of Google.