Dream A Little Dream Of Me

by horizon

15. Coy to the bitter end, I see (Skywriter)

Rosetta

My darling Nostalgia,
Coy to the bitter end, I see. This is always the dance
we do (did?)
but we both know you are not to be pitied. You knew
the nature of this dance when it first began
from the band's first notes, when they struck up
"The Colt Who Loved the Inquisitor"
you knew this dance.
I do not know what poor soul will find your missive
while sifting through the ashes of Myinnkyun, or what
she will feel when she does
probably sorrow
that this letter will never find its mark.
She need not fret.
She does not know us.
To you, my love, I say, "Confession received."
I knew all already.
I loved you still.

* * *

The truth is this:
We all burn with needs, my love,
yours no more shameful than anyone's.
-a scout who'd ruin a merchant to prevent a war
-a politician who'd foment rage to win an election
-a dancer who'd conspire with a monster to hide her perfidy
-and a golden kelpie lurking beneath the waves
basking in the rumble of an approaching storm

* * *

Rosetta I am called, for like the fabled translating-stone
I open the doors of language.
I know and understand the lowing of the Mooken
the mad chitter of the Protean
and the seductive keen of the Siren
(a convenient gift, for my occupation;
it is helpful to know the words of the dreams that I see)
but I have also come to know that language is a trivial thing
a fine suit of clothes we wrap our needs in
So we can imagine there are higher and purer motives for them
So we can imagine we are more than beasts who feed
So we can imagine we are a greater thing than, say:

-a Protean insect, nourished by the love of a Mooken bull
(who himself does not yet realize his mate is long dead
slain by the fangs of the very beast he lies with)
who one day decides that while nourished is good
stuffed to bursting is better
and who does not yet know how the betrayal of trust
can turn sweetest love into bitter, unpalatable hate
sending her fleeing through the jungle to the as-yet-untainted well
of Myinnkyun
where she adopts a new face
and pierces him who once pierced her, with a far different spear

So we can imagine we are a greater thing than, say:
-a golden-eyed mare, nourished by the love of a sun-blind scout
who one day decides that while nourished is good
stuffed to bursting is better
and in her eagerness to taste both night and day
forms a pact with the Protean
little realizing how high the price would become
or how deadly are the storms
that rise from the beating of insect wings

So we can imagine we are a greater thing than, say:
-a Siren, nourished by the gentle strife of a quarrelsome village
who one day decides that while nourished is good
stuffed to bursting is better
and who does not yet realize that a roaring bonfire of hate
(while warm at the time)
consumes all
and leaves nothing but cold ash in its passing.
"One death will fan the flames higher," she says
and, taking a cue from her younger blue cousin
(who seeks, improbably, to make harmony with the land-ponies!)
comes to an old, troubled merchant-mare
lured to the docks by the Protean's friendly but stolen face
and with her song makes her want the quiet of the deep, smothering water
more than anything in the world
more than life

So we can imagine we are a greater thing than, say:
-a night-colored Princess, nourished by the faint praise of a job well done
who one day decides that while nourished is good
stuffed to bursting is better
and
(you can see where I'm going with this, I think).

* * *

Everfree is in ruins.
Even now the Inquisition turns inward
trying desperately to find the distinction between
those loyal to the Night, and those loyal to its banished Princess.
(It is an impossibly narrow divide.)
I do not fancy they'd like what they'd find
should they turn their gaze on me.
Therefore will I become the smallest of poppies
complete my paperwork with a minimum of fuss
and not remark overmuch on loose ends.
(Shall I ever know how Peridot woke poor Tommyrum in the dead of night
and yet saw sun before the dark took her?
Perhaps not; when all about is chaos, closure is more dear than truth.)
So on the matter of Myinnkyun, I will write:
"Colony destroyed by animal attack."
Because it is true.
Because we are--all of us--attacking animals.
The Protean who fed on love
The Siren who fed on hate
And everyone in between who fed, alternately, on both.
I feel no guilt, because none of it will matter;
all will be ruin before any force can be mustered.
The walls of Myinnkyun torn down, the Mooken decimated,
the two sirens swum away, one fat and gleeful, the other destroyed
and you, my love, lost forever in a literal pipe-dream
regretting such little things.
In a mind so full of burdens, I hesitate to add one more
but I will
because I, too, am a beast with needs.

This is what I ask of you:

Let go.

Let go of all that weighs you down.

Know, at the last, how small it all is.

and once, one time, before the coming of the dark,

dream a little dream of me.

--Rosetta

Comments

[AugieDog]

Rosetta says:

That the changeling lured Peridot to the docks and Adagio sang her into the water in order to, well, I'm not quite sure. Adagio drowns her to increase the strife in the town. but I'm unclear as to why the changeling gets involved. There's some talk about Littlemoth making a pact with the changeling. but I can't figure out what that pact entails: the changeling in this version has taken the form of Dawn Patrol, though, so I assume some sort of sexual shenanigans are involved. But I don't see how that connects to either Peridot or Adagio.

Still, this is maybe my favorite as far as poetry goes, the way it brings all the tools of free verse to bear in ways that make me very happy. The answer, though, eludes me here.

Mike

[Titanium Dragon]

Greed destroyed the island.

Palei Hantu the changeling wanted more, so cheated on the minotaur and was forced to flee to the ponies
Littlemoth wanted more, so cheated on Dawn Patrol with Moonstruck, with the help of Palei Hantu.
Adagio wanted to stir up more discord in the town, and so murdered Peridot.

And then, the whole thing went up in flames.

This did a nice job of addressing most of the major mysteries, save for one – who was messing around in Shooting Star’s dreams?

I’m also confused – was Palei Hantu sleeping with Dawn Patrol in the guise of Littlemoth here? What was the spear she penetrated him with? Or did she take on a male form for lie with him as a stallion? I’m not really sure here.

Still, this had the nice sort of chain of catastrophes coming together, with no one pony responsible, but ultimately, everyone being responsible for not fixing things.

Including the narrator, who lets the entire colony die instead of drawing attention to herself. Dark.

[Monarch Dodora]

a golden-eyed mare, nourished by the love of a sun-blind scout
who one day decides that while nourished is good
stuffed to bursting is better

I bet she did.

I like this one. The repetition is cool, and I like how it sews everyone's crimes together into springing from a single impulse. I wouldn't have minded seeing a little more about how Littlemoth met Palei or how Palei met Adagio, but exposition would just dilute things, I guess.

I can't help but feel Rosetta's blatant admittance she can't be bothered to solve the mysteries is cheating somewhat. But at the same time, it fits her apathy like a glove. Goodness, but she's an ice queen.

6465822

was Palei Hantu sleeping with Dawn Patrol in the guise of Littlemoth here? What was the spear she penetrated him with? Or did she take on a male form for lie with him as a stallion? I’m not really sure here.

I think it means it was changeling Palei Hantu who threw the spear at U Low Kene. Although I'm not 100%, on account of she missed in the actual chapter, so it doesn't quite seem to fit.

[Sypher]

Disregarding the formatting surrounding the poetry, I think this one was the best written in terms of flow and likeness to horizon's story. That said, I'm not completely sure what exactly happened according to this piece. Who does the changeling turn into, and why help murder Peridot? It's also a bit disappointing that Rosetta doesn't attempt to go into details and solve the puzzle, but with her characterization and the context surrounding her decision that makes a lot of sense.
Overall, I like this piece more for style than for content, but it still does a decent job of giving conclusions.

[horizon]

It took me a long time to realize this and I haven't seen anyone else mention it, so I'll just note: this submission is doing something unique. There's a changeling Littlemoth in town, but it didn't replace Littlemoth, it bargained with her. Note the repeated mentions of "conspire" and "the pact". The upshot is, there are now TWO LMs running around: Changeling!LM and Pony!LM. CLM killed Peridot while PLM was with Moonstruck all night.

That's some outside the box thinking to account for the alibi, right there.

[Skywriter]

Thank goodness I can talk about this now. I guess I'll wait until the formal announcement of results to do any serious dissection, though. For the moment, thank you all for reading and responding!

[Skywriter]

Welp, looks like we're going to hit Happy Pony Bedtime before the results are posted, so I won't really have time to stick around for the postmortem. For anyone who cares, I've prepared a brief text document describing the underpinning sequence of events upon which I wrote my entry. I will be the first to admit that there are some problems with it. It's a little wordy, so I should probably not post it inline. Get the lowdown by clicking here, and then go debate Death of the Author-related matters.

[Lurks-no-More]

A dark and powerful finish to the story. I'm satisfied with this being the winner of the whole contest.

[Bradel]

I suppose it might be nice of me to come by and drop a comment on this. I haven't really seen what anybody else said because (1) us judges were intentionally avoiding the comments while we were judging, IIRC and (2) now that the judging is done, I'm just too lazy to go read them at 6:30 in the morning.

Anyway.

In my mind, this starts out very much on par with the large middle tier of entries, not doing a whole lot to distinguish itself. It does two things as it goes along, though, that I think elevate it way past that tier. All through the contest, there were a ton of stories I liked, but only two I ever felt deserved to be a canon conclusion to horizon's story—our first and second place winners. So what's going on here that makes it one of those two?

1. Distilling all the mysteries down into a single psychological theme (and bonus points for tying that theme back to Luna's fall). I'm a real sucker for repetition, especially in poetic forms, and I think it does wonders to tie this whole piece together. In a crowded field of good stories, it's a whole lot easier to remember "the gluttony solution" than "the one where Dawn Patrol conspires with the changeling Palei Hantu, and Adagio kills Peridot".

2. The ending section about what's happening back in Equestria is just masterful. I'm honestly not sure why it's masterful, but it is. It's such a simple thing—the natural way a correspondent would answer a letter. "Here's my discussion of what you told me, Nostalgia. Now here's what's going on in my life." That doesn't seem like it should be a big deal. But it is. It takes the most dramatic moment of horizon's original—the revelation in Dawn Patrol's chapter that this is all happening coincident with Luna's fall—and it gives that the ending it deserves as well. Still on the edges, still in the background, but a proper treatment of the plot thread within the style of the original story.

There are a lot of other things to like here. In horizon's results post, he quoted a comment I made about Rosetta's closure-over-truth statement, which made this one of only two or three entries that I felt really handled the Rashomon element well. And Rosetta gets real characterization through all this, becoming one of the most compelling characters in the saga of Pony Island. Like I said, there are a lot of things. But it's the two I numbered that really set this apart for me, and make me very proud that we chose this as our contest winner.

[Skywriter]

6469953, 6465822

I think it means it was changeling Palei Hantu who threw the spear at U Low Kene. Although I'm not 100%, on account of she missed in the actual chapter, so it doesn't quite seem to fit.

Yah, this was the correct read, I just couldn't figure out a way in the heat of the moment to work the fact of "and she missed" into the verse and have it still work. Shortly after the deadline closed, I got something that didn't grate on me, but, deadline. This relatively small change will be reflected in the final version, ok'd by horizon. Thanks for reading!

[Skywriter]

6477460
I, in turn, am flattered by your esteem. Thank you so much for your hard work on this!

[Skywriter]

6473752

It took me a long time to realize this

Thankfully it happened before the final judging.

6464108,
6477149,
6472884
Thanks, folks. It means a lot.

[Monarch Dodora]

6479429

Ah, yes, post-deadline realisation. I know that feeling well.

Hey, since Horizon's letting you make a spear-related edit, do you think he'd let me do the same so I can actually put the spear in my entry and score those extra five points that might just bump me into second place?