Rosetta
My Dear Nostalgia,
I find there is no more need to stare.
The Isle of Myinn now reaches the height of folly.
Pony or nocturne, stallion or mare, guilty or innocent, the Mooken no longer care.
All are forfeit beneath the spear's first volley.
Ideas, idealists, innocence forever lost to plans so frail and faulty.
From your tainted quill, a claim that dreams cannot lie.
Such hubris, such arrogance, from muzzles held high and haughty.
In a sea of lies, the dream of Myinnkyun has died.
From darkened, twisted light, a fool made his dare,
And against all reason they charged, their demise already set in motion like an ill-fated trolley.
Hoof, horn and wing, barely any avoided the Mooken's jungle snare.
A quick charge, a quicker retreat; even chaos was not defeated so fully.
So few remained, little point would have been made with a tally.
Today was the final day, even the jaded could begin to see why.
The rampart fell and there was no time left to dally.
In a sea of lies, the dream of Myinnkyun has died.
A glass-eyed moon crushed a nascent affair,
While a majority went silent, blood-stained bits paying more debt than any soul could carry.
Some played, others drank, but against the jungle's reapers they had not a prayer.
Forged by fire and written in blood, to its sins the history of Myinnkyun will reluctantly marry,
And to the sands of time these tragic events will forever tarry.
But for Peridot I will cry.
For Peridot I will cry, and her story, her siren call, will reach over the seas to the furthest prairie.
In a sea of lies, the dream of Myinnkyun has died.
A dark scion did indeed visit you, and your secrets are known to this night fairy.
In this you were right, a dream cannot truly lie.
Your opening line is good, but I believe this to be a bit more catchy:
In a sea of lies, the dream of Myinnkyun has died.
Rosetta
Rosetta writes back to Nostalgia:
But there doesn't seem to be an answer in this one, either. I do like the stretched out rhythms and the side-rhymes here, each line wobbling like a spinning plate till it crashes down at the end. But again, no answer to my question.
Mike
While Rosetta’s piece was actually fairly pretty to read, but unfortunately, it didn’t feel like it answered the central mysteries – everyone gets killed by the minotaurs, but we never find out who done it, nor the resolution to the other mysteries of the piece.
Gotta echo these hot studs up here ^ (or down there if you're reading newest to oldest...).
I love the repeating line, and the way it ties into Nostalgia's entry. However, this is a structure that requires some pretty detailed meter work, and I'm afraid that either my internal metronome is off, or this piece has some serious rhythm problems.
Also, it didn't answer what happened to Peridot. What's up with that? Unless 'her siren call' was trying to imply that Sonata/Adagio did her in...