Anon vanishes from his bed, replaced by an enormous ladybug.

Rarity and Spike investigate!

...

This story might or might not be an entry in RB_'s "Whodunnit? Youdunnit!" Contest.

Secret spoilered search keywords: Shadow Spade, Sherlock Pones, Detective Rarity, Rarity Investigates, Trixie Lulamoon, Lyra Heartstrings, Bonnie / Bon-Bon / Bon Bon / Special Agent Sweetie Drops, Starlight Glimmer, Madamoiselle Plumeau Précipité, night train, overnight train, sleeper car, Trottawa, Grand Vienneighse Hotel, Haybec, Haypril, anti-teleportation runes, giant cockroach, David Wyllie, Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis", foot pics, hoof pics, feet pics, Trixie is bad at magic, please ignore the teacups.

Twilight tries to lose her virginity through time travel, and fails.

~(This~is~a~way~to~write~crossed~out~text~so~it~looks~different~even~if~you~download~a~story~as~a~plain~text~file.)~

_{August 6th Update/News: I guess it turns out this story will probably be an entry in "The Twilight Files Contest," if I don't write anything obviously more suitable in the next 40 or so hours.}

Some ponies need somecreature to be nice to.

A proper pony utopia for uploaded human minds should plan for this...especially if it's run by an AI version of Celestia.

But sometimes, the plan seems to go wrong.

This story is set in the Optimalverse, so some things might be easier to understand if you've read
Friendship Is Optimal.

I wrote this story as a possible entry in the April 2021 Friendship is Optimal Writing Contest.

I thank Bananachips for prereading a draft of this story. I was able to directly address only some of the issues Bananachips raised, but the story is still better than it otherwise would have been.

_{(Cover image source: MockingBirb chose two images from those created (by processing data from a large number of human-created pictures) by the AI system "This Pony Does Not Exist," and edited them into a combination.}

#fio #celestai

A human thinks Ponyville is different from how it's 'supposed to be,' so he magically summons a brainwashed barbarian swordsman to 'fix' everything.

_{(Cover image created by Mockingbirb combining part of a figure from an early book cover for (SPOILER, see note at end of story) with MLP screencap, while editing a little.)}