Love Stealing Is Optimal (Twilight Sparkle Hacks the Neightrix and Tries to Invent the Singularity with Benefits)

by Mockingbirb

Twilight Follows the White Rabbit Into a Different Story Altogether

Twilight Sparkle ran through the streets of Ponyville, pursuing an ill-tempered white rabbit. The rabbit pointed a scroll at a raspberry-coated, amber-maned mare with a lily in her hair. He seemed to whisper something to her as he passed.

The mare flopped over onto her side. "The horror! The horror!" she shouted, waving her hooves ineffectually at Twilight as the alicorn ran past.

"Ha!" Twilight said. "Whatever your evil plan is, it's failing! Give up now!"

Angel Bunny turned a corner and ran towards Ponyville's Morning Market. As Twilight pursued, he ran amongst the market stalls and crowds, and waved his scroll. Dozens of ponies forgot their errands and their business, and turned as one towards Twilight Sparkle.

One said in a monotone voice, "Kill the alicorn, cartoonishly so it doesn't seem like real violence."

Another said, "Get anvil. Crush pony."

For a moment, Derpy Hooves' expression turned blank and zombielike, and her eyes converged on Twilight. But the pegasus shook her head vigorously, and her eyes returned to Derpy-normal. "What's wrong with you ponies? It's like you don't have any practice at all at second-guessing any really stupid idea that pops into your heads." Derpy rubbed her head with one forehoof. "So much practice..."

A third pony said, "A blonde-maned pegasus heretic! Stuff flowers down her throat until she chokes."

Derpy screamed, "Help me!"

"This shall not stand!" Twilight exclaimed. Magic swirled around her horn in a glowing cloud. "I shall dispell all brainwashing and mind control, with the most powerful spell of mental freedom ever known to alicornkind!"

In a bright flash of light, the world around Twilight disappeared.