That's How the Cookie Crumbles Part 1
Disclaimer: This chapter is, aside from the journal entries, and a couple other brief moments, told from the Point of View of Kaye. Improper word use is intentional, and may make your eyes burn a bit, and/or force you to think about what she meant. Reader Discretion is advised.
Dear Kyra,
Today was... Well, if I'm perfectly honest, I think that, sadly, this was a 'normal' day for Ponyville. Either that, or they have nerves of steel. Though, considering that they have magic, I'm guessing it's more 'normal' than anything. I mean, today was hard work for me, but with how much my muscles hurt, that's a good thing. Plus, I got a job, so I'll be able to start saving up for... Something. I'll have to see if I can take the money with me or not, because, unless there's something wrong with my eyes, they use actual gold! Even if I only got to take five coins that they call 'bits' back home, I'd be rich!
But anyway, what made today so exciting was a certain little Eevee that has no right to be that cute... nor that destructive...
“Come, Kaye, it is thine turn to talk to Miss Wind and answer Princess Twilight's inquiries about thine world. Dost thou not wish to be able to talk to your new friends at the school-house?”
I sighed, exasterbated that Aunt Loony just didn't seem to understand! “Nu-uh, is Mister Fluffy's turn! I'm not supposta go for 'nother fifty billion-trillion-fillion years! Plus tax!”
Yush! Aunt Loony is smiling! That means it's fun times again! See, I told Glenny that you just gotta be patient and be willing to exclaim things to adults, cause they just don't understand the important stuffs sometimes. Once you exclaim things patient Lee, then they's gonna change their minds! Satisfied that Aunty Lune understood, I jumped onto her back so that I could see betterer. She bees really really super duper luper tall! Plus her hair is all wavy and filled with stars! How does she does that? I want stars in my hairs too! Ish super pretty!
So while Aunty Lune bees walking, I gets to relaxify and stuff, and do fun things, like give my tail brushies! Having a tail is, like, the bestest thing ever in the history of things! A tail ish, like... Super floofy, and really prettyful, and can even grab stuff if you practice really long and hard! I’m gonna learn how to do that, cause that looks like fun!
So I was in the middle of giving my tail the brushies it needs to be as floofy as, as Unc Fluffy, which is really super hard, when Aunt Loony dropped me onna ground!
“Hey, that hurted!” I rubbed my leg with a paw, before seeing the conditioner of my previously brushied tail. “Nu! My, my tail ish all dustified again! You, you ruineded my tail! Now I has to brushie it again before I can play!” Stoopid Aunt Loony, dropping me onna ground like that! That was just mean!
“Hello, little one! I’m Whispering Wind, but you can call me Wisp. What’s your name?”
I look up, an there’s another new pretty pony! Wispy? That, that sounds like she’s a cloud! But what kinda cloud is she? Polly Geara never saided much about the different kinds of clouds, so how’s I supposta know if she isn’t the kind of cloud that makes the thunder go kaboom? She could be dangerous!
“You know,” she said quieter, laying down on the floor next to me. “My favourite ice cream is mint. What’s your favourite? I promise I won’t tell anypony...”
Oh my goshness! Another pony who knows what bees most important! Looking around to see how far away everyone else was, I leaned up and whispered in her ear, making sure that, that my paw blocked the way. After all, five out of five friends agreed that was the bestest way to make sure dat adults can’t hear you! “It, it bees Cookies an Creames!”
“Cookies and... I’ve never heard of that kind before,” Wispy said, her ears deciding to take a nap.
How, how can they never has heard of Cookies an Creames?! Dat bees horrible! “It, it bees eyes creame wiv lotsa Oreo cookies in it!” I exclaimed to her.
“O-oreo? Is that a secret recipe?”
“Whut? I, I dun know... It comes inna blue bag, and it gots two chocolate cookies wiv frost in the middle!” They dun has Oreo cookies here? That, that’s depressed!
“I don’t think anypony has invented those yet,” she said sadly, laying her head on the ground.
“Nu! No, no saddy faces! You dun wanna have The-The Sads, or else I gots to cure you, an I isn’t a birdy!”
“T-the sads? You’re not a birdy?”
I sighed, trying to have virtuals. Polly Geara always said that having virtuals is important, cause it detonates what you does when faced with right or left. “Yeah, I don’t cheep! So dun make me hafta curify you!”
“But if you don’t cure me, then what if I’m stuck like this forever and ever? That would be horrible, wouldn’t it?”
Hmm... She has a pointer... Besides I’s hungry! Gotta work if I wants to get paid! “Okies, I’ll fix you! I just needs a what is that?!”
Why does that always work? Miss Wispy turned around, fooled by my distracton, so I pouncified! “Tickle Tiems!”
It was a tough battle, The Sads putting up an admiral fight, but the power of teh tickling just cannot be stopped! Once she started leaking, I knew that I was victorious! “Ish you healeded of The Sads now, or does I need to-”
“N-no, no more! T-the sads are gone, vanquished, defeated, bye bye,” Wispy confirmed, still giggling like a hyena. Though, she isn’t as mean as a hyena... Or is she? Maybe I should askify her if she’s eber tried to hurt cute lions.
“So Princess Luna says your name is Kaye?”
Well, if she knows Aunt Loony, then she’s not a stranger... “Uh-huh! And you, you’s Wispy.”
“That’s right! Bet you can’t guess how old I am, though.”
Oh no she did not! I, I’s smarter than that! I’ll show her! “Let’s see...”
Time to put on my thinking hat! Except that it bees back with Miss Polly Geara... I’ll just have to imagination I’s wearing it! “You, you is big...” Gotta make sure to lookit all angels and stuff. “You has super long hairs... No wrinkleses...”
Let’s see, what else... Oh! I know! I jumped onto her back, then started bouncing. “Weee! You, you’s strong! Dat means you must be... Umm... How long has you been older than ten?”
“About nine year... Oh, oh you’re good...” Wispy said, narrowing her eyes.
Not sure what else she said, cause I was too busy doing my victory dance! Dancing around, I shook my tail at her, singing my victory song! “Ah ah! Ah ah! Ah ah! Who’s the best? I’s the best!”
As I shook my tail at her some more, I came to a horrible realization. “Y-you’s nineteen! You, you is almost old! You dun cry youself to sleep, does you? No wonder you has The Sads!” Poor Wispy! She, she’s almost old! She, she needs a hug!
“I’m not that old!” Wispy tried to reassure herself, though she did accept my hug. “I mean, even if I had a filly of my own, she’d only be a few years old at the most! It’s not like I’m thirty, or forty, or something like that! I can still find a stallion...”
“... Now I really want to get that translation spell figured out,” a voice said behind me. I-I wasn’t startled! I was just, um, testing out my leg muscles! Yeah! I dun know how high I can jump, so I was just seeing how high I could go! Yeah!
And that wasn’t a scream! It was, um... It was a... An excited explanation of how egg salad I was to meet new friends! Yeah. Cause I totally wasn’t scared! Only little kids get scared.
“Wow, you’re extremely athletic! Perhaps this species is related to felines? But the canines and shape of the tail suggests something more vulpine in relations... If Fluffy is correct, then this species must be an Eevee, but how do they spell it? How many e’s are there? Hmm...”
Wow, another princess, just like Aunt Loony! She’s even almost pink, like I am! So... why is she such a boring McNerd Head?
“So how old is ‘Kaye’, anyway?”
“Six anna half, but I’s gonna be seven next month!” I’ma big girl, I is! I even know some of the multiple numbers!
“You’ll be seven next month, wow!” Wispy said, clearly impressed. “So grown up already! Listen, we have some super boring stuff to do, but I promise that it’s important. So important, in fact, that we’re going to have to pay you! Did you already have breakfast?”
My poor tummy protected, yelling as loud as it could. Nuuuu, bad tumbily! You, you’s not s’posta be rumbly in lie berries! Ish rude! Big girls isn’t supposed to be rude! Now my face is all reddened, an Wispy is laughing at me...
“Well, tell you what. I’ll make my special cinnamon roll pancakes, and while we cook and eat you can answer a few questions, okay?”
“Hmm...” I tapped my chin, because that’s how you’re supposed to think seriously. Seven out of nine cartoons told me so! “Can I has icing too? Ish not cimmamin rolls if there isn’t any frostings too.”
“Hmm...” She tapped her chin too! She must be a super smart pony like me! I like her. “I suppose... But only if you tell me what your favourite color is.”
“Deal! Ish pink, just like starberry milks!”
“That’s my favourite drink too! Tell you what, go get washed up for breakfast, and I’ll have food ready for you on the table when you’re done, alright? Does that sound fair?”
“Yush! Yayificatons! I love love love cimmamin rolls! I, I gonna be super fast cleaning up! Fasterer than, than Sonic! I’ll show you!”
Yushness! I just gotta take a baff? I can bees faster than, than ledge frogs, just you wait an see!
Whispering Wind heaved a sigh of relief as the hyperactive filly ran off for the bathroom to get cleaned up. Only five minutes with Kaye had left her feeling drained, but perhaps some food would help. Good thing she had promised the little one some food, right?
“Have you made any progress so far, Twilight?” came a regal, mature voice behind her.
“P-Princess Celestia?!” Twilight jumped in surprise, her wings flaring out. “I-I didn’t know you… I mean I…”
Luna brought a hoof to her sister’s head, glaring with a hint of a smile as they started to bicker about proper etiquette on unannounced visits, even if they were supposed to be kept quiet.
“Um, Princess Celestia? Why do you have a large plate of cookies with you?”
“It’s quite simple, Miss Wind,” Celestia said as she popped a cookie in her mouth. “I happen to be quite fairly stressed, and as everypony knows, stressed spelled backwards is desserts! So there,” she said, sticking her tongue out before popping yet another cookie into her mouth, a faint ‘nom nom nom’ being heard.
“That….” Wisp blinked, thinking about it for a moment. “... That makes a strange amount of sense… Wait, so wouldn’t that mean that ponies get stressed because they aren’t eating enough dessert?”
“Which is precisely why I make dessert breakfast, my little pony.”
Luna took the platter away from her sister, setting it down on the table. “We have told thee that it ‘tis bad for thine health! And what of thine teeth? Thou-”
“Are such a worry wort!” Celestia retorted, sticking her chocolate spotted tongue out. “I’m a big mare, Lulu! You are such a mother hen!”
“Well at least We care about our figure!” Luna retorted, sticking her muzzle in the air.
“Oh no thou didst not!” Celestia retorted, her eyes burning.
“Oh wow,” Twilight said blandly, blinking as the two sisters started fighting. “Celestia reverted to… She must really be pissed. I’ve only ever seen her like this once.”
Wisp was about to reply, when she heard a quiet crunching sound originating somewhere behind her. Turning around, Wisp blinked in shock as a cookie just disappeared from the platter, going over the edge of the table. There was a quick munching sound, before another cookie mysteriously disappeared. Wisp narrowed her eyes, before jerking her head back in surprise as she saw a brief flash of pink.
Suspicious, Wisp trotted on the tips of her hooves, as quietly as she could, peering around the corner of the table. There, sitting with a grin that threatened to tear off her face, sat little Kaye, inhaling each cookie with quick, calculated bites, hardly chewing before swallowing, another cookie ready in her paws. Wisp watched in amazement as cookie after cookie disappeared, the large pile slowly diminishing.
Wisp opened her mouth, but stopped as Kaye paused as well, head tilting this way and then that, staring at the cookie in apparent fascination. Wisp looked at the cookie closely as well, blissfully ignorant of the drool starting to appear. The cookie was utter perfection. The dough was a healthy, golden brown, just firm enough not to fall apart while being held, but clearly soft enough that the cookie would melt in your mouth. The chocolate chips were on the verge of melting, liquid enough to be ice cream, but solid enough not to drizzle out of the cookie. Each chip was clearly placed with a precision bordering on obsession, evenly spaced to get a mouthful of cookie and chocolate with every bite from the ideally circular cookie.
Wisp whimpered as Kaye ate it in one bite, barely savoring the flavor or texture of the cookies. How could she not taste the wonderfully abundant sugar and perfection of those cookies? It was practically a crime!
The ‘mental ward’, if it can be called that, while not ‘unkind’, they did limit or omit certain… luxuries that most ponies wouldn’t think to add on a list of their top ten most important items. Namely, sugar. While they do eat many vegetables and fruits, there isn’t a pony alive that doesn’t love a good sugar cube, or any pastry or dish made with sugar. And Wisp had been forced for a number of months to be sugar free...
I continued to ignore Celes as she ranted, though I did giggle as she continued to use old curses. Celes made fun of us for so long for not switching to ‘modern’ language, but we don’t care! Tis fun to rile her up so, and we can speak however we liketh!
“Thou art such a- an elderberry sniffer!”
We heard Twilight gasp, but we don’t know why. Tis not like such an insult was particularly bad. We prepared our rebuttal, when a strange noise attracted our attention.
*munch munch munch munch*
The three alicorns turned their heads towards the kitchen, where a mostly empty tray sat, barely more than a dozen cookies left. There, sitting next to the tray, happily munching away, sat Kaye and Wisp, the former sitting on the latter’s back as they ate the diabetes-inducing goodies. They paused in mid-bite as they noticed all the attention the three royals were giving them. It occurred to the two that they thoughtlessly, though thoroughly, tore through the therapeutic treats.
We blinked, utterly stupefied at the brazen audacity of the two, when a strangled choking reminded us that there was no time to waste. We charged our magic, preparing to hinder Celes for as long as possible. “Fly, you foals!”
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Gonna read your story then.
3177154 Who are... Oh! Kingdom Hearts guy. XD Alright, but don't be afraid to say you hate it, so long as you say why.
this is not going to end well
3177529 Oh my!
Whatever tipped you off? 
/sarcasm
(Sorry, I had to.
)
Seeing that this is from Luna's perspective, I don't really see why you switched between first and third person and then reverted back.
Also, "but we didn't know why."
3177880 I...
...
...
Why DID I do that? I don't know! I'll have to edit that late then, I guess, once I've had a chance to sleep. Been awake for 16 hours now, operating on 5 hours of sleep, so I blame that. And Discord. I blame Discord a LOT...
i would love more chapters from kaye's POV. it was soooo cute!
You failed to make me hungry. But that's not your fault, I just had dinner.
Also, you were right. The Kaye POV did burn my eyes. I'm just glad that I remembered Kay was young, so it made sense for her to be speaking like that.Though most 7 year olds have a good understanding of basic speech.
Least, the 7 year olds that I've met do.
3177835
*re-reads chapter* .....it's twilight isent it?
im sorry. i blame sleep deprivation!
I guess that I was reading too much into how he reacted around flutters and rainbow, and my mind was on friendship mode during the pantry conversation.
im kinda sorta one of those people that even if the blatantly obvious is staring me in the face I sometimes cannot see it.
oh, earlier I just meant that I did not realize that you had alicorn twilight in the story till this chapter.
......I have got to stop making comments when I am sleepy, they tend not to make the best of sense then.
I want cookies now.
I see a LOTR Reference!!!!
3178195 Next chapter has a lot, but aside from that, instances of Kaye PoV will be brief and not often. It's harder on people's eyes to read like that, with misspelled words, usage, etc.
3178400 True, but *SPOILER ALERT* (Will be talked about later in the fic, most likely)
How many six and a half year olds have you met that were in a moderately large orphanage who didn't have the time or manpower to help Kaye speak properly? She's mostly around other kids. Yeah, they aren't as bad as she is, but when you have a speech problem, it takes time and energy to correct, and that's something the Orphanage did not have much of. If she doesn't know it's a problem, how is she supposed to fix it? People have said it was 'cute' before, so she doesn't know that it's going to be/already is less cute the older she gets.
If it helps, next chapter is the last planned chapter with Kaye's PoV, so... Yeah.
3178837 Oh yay!
3179163 Congrats! Here's your cookie. *Holds out a cookie*
3178448 Yeah, It's Twilight. She's the only filly/mare who he doesn't freak out around, already knows her, etc. Not saying any more or else SPOILERS.
3179623 It's okay now, I've had some. Not Oreo's, as I don't like them. (Sorry Kaye) Guess I'll have to stick to pannycaeks and maple syrup for lunch with Luna, as long as Sky and Flame let us have some...
3181833
Ninetails is my favorite gen one pokemon. That's why XD But no, despite what the anime showed Ninetails can't go talking to humans psychically... Can't learn any of those moves if my memory serves. If you were basing it off the anime though, it's basically a fire breathing kitsune, ability to create illusions included.
JOKE's ON YOU!!!
I had a bag of cookies while reading this, so HA!
Good 'ol choc chip, why mess with perfection...
3182491
(So you did not think your cookies inferior to the description of the cookie I wrote?)
3182639 wellll....
I take convenience of perfection.
I had my cookies with me, though they seem to have disappeared...
You don't happen to know where Kaye might be, do you?
3182656 ... I plead the Fifth.
3183674
Alrighty, pokémon biology lesson everyone! All fire types either have a fire sac (i.e. torchic) or are made of fire/lava/magma (i.e. slugma). For torchic's example, the sudden introduction of cool water savagely cools off the fire sac and causes pain as the sac contracts and the fire looses air. I don't think I need to explain why water would be a bad thing for a slugma.
The reason ice type moves aren't super effective is because all ice type moves prioritize chilling the surface and only do so for a short period of time (i.e. an icy wind attack) whereas a water type attack leaves the pokémon soaked. Although, as pokémon like charizard display, this defense against ice types isn't always perfect. But that's another kettle of fish.
Also, by your reasoning, why is fire resistant to grass?
3184343 Well, th more you know, I guess...
But as far as the whole 'resistant to grass' thing, again, it was a game mechanic, because they couldn't accurately portrait what would happen in a real battle. It's not so much that grass does less damage to fire types so much as Fire being super-effective at defending them. Razor Leaf? Burn most/all of the leaves, either with a simple Ember, or because they're MADE of fire, like slugma. (Yes, I realise this is an imperfect reasoning as not ALL grass moves directly manipulate or create nature, like Mega Drain. But it's the principle of the idea in general. Pokemon is, first and foremost, a game. Games need rules, and so the weaknesses and resistances have to be set in stone, as apposed to just certain moves.)
I do appreciate you trying to help like this, I really do! But... I really need you to be willing to have a certain amount of suspension of belief. I'm trying to explain things in the story as soon as I can, but I don't want the story to just be exposition. There needs to be character exploration and development as well, so... Sorry. I know I'm bad at balancing the two, and I'm working on it. No one starts out as a super amazing writer, and this is the first story I've written that's been remotely popular, so this is the first story where I'm really getting any feedback. I still want you to point stuff out that you see is wrong, of course, but I'm asking for a little bit of leeway in the suspension of belief department for going against Pokemon canon.
)
(Sorry for rambling. I just woke up, so if the shear text dump was too much, I apologise.
3183674 Maybe fire type pokemon BURN of all of the dirt and stuff that is on their bodies to stay clean.
3184805 Then how do they have FUR? And fire wouldn't necessarily take care of ALL oils that could get into their coat. If anything, oil is a further reason for why they WOULDN'T use fire on themselves. Then again, Flareon's ability IS Flash Fire... Hmm, I'll have to think about that, actually. Thanks! (Though still, if the water is HOT, then it wouldn't do any damage, no? From what I'm understanding from The Doctor (because I'm too lazy to look up his actual profile name) it's the COLD water that would cause the sac or whatever to contract, right? So wouldn't hot water do nothing harmful for a Pokemon like Flareon, since there would be no temperature difference to cause contraction or expansion?
Wait...
THAT'S IT! That's how Flash Fire works! It's hotter than the sac, causing the sac to enlargen, allowing more fire/hotter fire to be used!
And after re-reading the ability... Alright, fine, perhaps a Flareon might use fire to clean itself, but it would leave such a HORRIBLE smell. Fire doesn't eradicate smell.
Pokemon Biology lesson! Time for MORE. The Flame Sac heats air so the pokemon can breathe fire... but not every fire pokemon can use fire inherently. Meaning the process would be a conscious decision. A VOLUNTARY decision. Meaning as long as said pokemon is not using the sac, cold water shouldn't be painful. In a battle Flaeron heats itself up in inticipation. Making water an issue, because its heated itself up. But under normal non combat,water shouldnt be that much of an issue. And you also must take into consideration that we have very limited information about specific pokemon breeds and types. Everything that is not BLATANTLY in the games/manga/book/etc is just speculation. And relies on your specific head cannon about pokemon. Which is different from person to person.
3184828
Actually, the 'smell' of fire is just whatever material is used for fuel. A pokemon's flame isn't depicted as smelling bad, so that's pretty much a non issue. Also, a fire type's fur is flame retardant so when using moves like flare blitz, they don't loose all their fur.
3184773
Let me count the ways!
1.) Rampant sexism
2.) Using derogative terms for pokémon
3.) She won't stop whining about every little thing
4.) Has pretty much called everyone who isn't her useless and/or a blot upon pony/human/pokémon kind.
5.) [pet peeve] Won't leave Trixie alone
6.) Not doing anything to even attempt to make her situation better
7.) Won't hear any other sides of an argument
8.) She has a superiority complex
9.) She's begging of Trixie's and Bic Mac's plate without even a hint of shame
10.) She acts like she's always on a soapbox.
And those are only the top ten!
3184943
Depends on the pokémon. The pokedex states torchic's internal temp is always about 1,800 degrees, so whether or not one's in battle, water still won't be pleasant.
3185394 Actually it never mentions its internal temperature. Just that its flame CAN be over 1,800 F. But... why are we arguing about a torchic? There isnt one in this fic. Just a flareon o.0 And.. just because I just researched it: If a torchic has an internal body temp of 1800F.. which is 982 C.. its bones would be liquid. Well part of the bone. Calcium melts at 842C, or 1548F. NOTHING with a skeleton could survive that. Well nothing without a METAL skeleton.
3185387 .. Tell me, ever smelled burnt rubber? Like, a LOT of it? It doesn't matter what a 'normal' Flareon is like, okay? I wouldn't want to go around smelling like burned earth, sweat, and so forth.
3185394 Then how does it not melt EVERYTHING around it? Why do fire attacks still do any amount of damage to it instead of being invulnerable? I have to side with Zia on the head canon side of things. Pokemon is JUST a game. They don't have to try as hard as I do to make things realistic. It's set in a fantasy world with different rules from us. I have to make the rules realistic, since it has humans, etc.
I understand where you're coming from, but if you''re going to be THIS stubborn about stuff... I have to ask you, politely, to please leave. You're not going to like the rest of this story if you're going to remain so critical about things. I'm doing the best I can with what I have, but I can't deal with ALL of what Pokemon deems canon when faced with reality. Water would only be fractionally cooler to a Torchic than the surrounding air, ground, etc. By your logic, water shouldn't do shit to Torchic because it already deals with absurdly cool temperatures to begin with. The water would ENHANCE that coldness, sure, but...
I just... I know I'm over-reacting, and I'm sorry, but you're taking things far too seriously. I just... I can't deal with this.
3185428 (
) there Pokemon it doesn't make scene to any one but PP (pinkie pie)
3196760 ... You misunderstand. Ziaodo was pointing out that The Dimension Traveler is wrong/has the wrong facts. He was pointing out that just because they CAN make a flame that hot doesn't mean that their actual internal body temperature is that high. He was pointing out how ridiculous Traveler's 'point' was, since it was flawed.
3187782 hit's wall with head because cute foals were being innocently stupid keep's hitting head on wall by the surprisingly smart but stupidity of the fillys wall facepalm
3198104 eh just stating that Pokemon are close to being impossible kill if you don't do it in one shot not that it's wrong just stating that realistic not Pokemon anime also why is ash still ten and always doing stuff that should kill him yet doesn't
3201314 ... Yeah... Not to be rude, but until you learn how to format and construct your sentences in something remotely close to correct grammar, I don't have anything else to say to you. No periods, commas, etc? No thanks.
3201458 Yeah, I kinda figured that might happen for a few readers, but that, in a way, works just as well. This chapter is told from Kaye's point of view. A hyperactive six and a half year old from an orphanage that didn't have the time or manpower to help her with her speech, other problems, etc, and really, that's all this chapter is meant to establish. This chapter was solely to help readers understand just what goes on in Kaye's head, because as the fic goes on, she's going to be doing some strange stuff... So... In short, this chapter is mostly fluff, with some comedy here and there. Next chapter(s) will have actual plot, I promise, but I needed to get this out of the way first. (Next chapter still has SOME Kaye point of view stuff, but it'll be considerably lessened compared to this chapter.)
3201342 i blame summer vacation for taking my basic gammar.
3179163
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/2979969_700b.jpg
3231057 It's those small things that make life worth living for!
3231508
eh hehehe
...Oh. My. Sweet. CELESTIA. Would you be so kind as to assist me in locating all the pieces of my mind? Because you just blew it
Gandalf? That you?
4168671
... maybeh...
3184828 Your logic would be sound, IF it weren't for a nice little move in Gen V named Scald. Sorry!
That banner is adorable. Kaye's internal monologue is adorable. Her calling Fluffy "Unc" is adorable. This whole chapter is so. Freaking. Adorable.
... Stressed spelled backwards is..... dude my mind was just blown away by that.
5576878 You're welcome. X3
Sugar...
Flutter you fools....
GODDAMIT TREVOR I JUST REGENERATED!
9522936
I KNOW RIGHT!??!?!?!!?
Nah, you wouldn't be very rich.
Gold prices change from day to day. Some years its more expensive, some years it slightly cheaper. The average human gold coin is one ounce. The price of gold right now is $1,760 USD per coin. Now the Equestrian Bit looks to be thicker than than a Human made coin, so lets say a Bit is two ounces. Five bits would get you $17,600 US Dollars. Not bad, but not rich.
To get a Million dollars you would need around 284-290 Bits. Assuming they are two ounces each. You would be carrying about forty pounds or sixteen Kilograms of gold.
40 pounds is pretty heavy to lug around and people would wonder what you could possibly have inside that box that would be that heavy. So you would get noticed pretty quick. Gold is a shitload heavier than people realize. You see in the movies, people picking up those brick sized gold bars in one hand? Yeah, thats Styrofoam. Most people cant lift a gold bar with both hands, let alone one hand. Both gold and Lead are incredibly dense.
Diamonds would be easier to carry.
Just some trivia
Monk
Those brimming treasure chests you see in pirate movies, you would need an actual fork lift. Possibly an industrial one. (I don't want to take the time to figure out the volume / Oz / Weight. But I'm betting it would weight the same, if not more than a large truck.)
EDIT: According to the internet the answer is ..... A large chest (30 inches by 20 inches by 20 inches interior) comes to about 2.5 tonnes of gold.