Chapter the Fifth
Scootaloo held onto Rainbow Dash as tightly as she dared, the latter of which was winging her way towards Canterlot. While Scootaloo had been understandably upset at having been left behind, Scootaloo’s rage was forgotten in an instant when Rainbow Dash exploded in anger at Scootaloo’s explanation. Scootaloo, of course, knew that Rainbow Dash, the most awesomest, coolest, radicalest pony in Equestria, no, the world, was the Element of Loyalty, but even she didn’t expect Rainbow Dash to be as angry as she was.
Still, after informing the Ponyville clinic that, no, they would not be needing that ER room after all, Rainbow Dash offered Scootaloo a ride to her friends, since the elements wouldn’t be complete without Rainbow Dash. As much as Scootaloo loved Rainbow Dash, however, as she nearly lost her grip for the fifth time, she was starting to second-guess her decision. “R-Rainbow Dash?! I c-can’t hold on much longer!”
“Good, ‘cause we’re there!” Rainbow Dash laughed as she landed, Scootaloo practically falling off her back. “Now come on, we need to find everypony else so I can give them a piece of my mind!”
“Y-yeah! Sure thing, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo shook her head, fluffing her wings briefly to resettle the agitated feathers, before running after her idol in search of their friends.
.o.O.o.
“Alright girls, the infirmary is just down this hall,” Twilight explained, leading the way seconds after materialising. “We’ll drop off Fluffy there, and then the rest of us can go see what Princess Celestia is talking about.”
“You know, we could just bring Flufferson O’Fluff with us,” Pinkie Pie suggested, bouncing along.
“What?! But he’s really injured!” Sweetie Belle protested.
“Nu-uh!” Pinkie Pie argued, grinning. “See? Gummy 2.0 can heal things around it by sleeping! Just look at all of the scratches that have started to go away,” Pinkie pointed out, nodding sagely. “Just by being asleep, my little Gummy 2.0 can heal stuff around him! Pretty cool, right?”
Everypony gathered around Fluffy, watching closely, and sure enough, they saw, albeit over the course of a couple minutes, the smallest of scratches and nicks start to close and disappear, leaving the skin and fur beneath them healthy, though still a bit dirty with blood and earth. “See? Gummy 2.0 is just as special as Gummy is!”
“Yeah, special ed,” Spike snickered to himself, giggling at his own joke.
“What was that, Spike? I’m certain you didn’t make fun of someone else’s intelligence after all of the lessons Twilight taught you, or am I wrong?”
“It was just a little joke, Prin... Gah! P-Princess, stop doing that to me!” Spike whimpered, clutching at his rapidly beating heart. “How do you manage to always sneak up on me like that?! Every since I was small, you're always-”
“I’ve had a lot of practice,” Princess Celestia replied, concentrating on the rest of the party. “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Twilight. Did you find these two already unconscious, or did they attack you?”
“What? No, they didn’t attack us,” Twilight replied, frowning.
“Yeah! Fluffy wouldn’t hurt a fly!” Sweetie Belle protested, hugging Fluffy’s tail tightly, as if she could protect him from Celestia.
“But he did destroy part of our club-house, Sweetie,” Applebloom pointed out, scratching the back of her head.
“But Fluttershy said that he was scared and stuff! It wasn’t his fault! He put out the small fire he made when he sneezed, didn’t he?” Sweetie shot back, trying to fend off the attacks on her new pet from all sides. “He just needs to be trained a little, that’s all!”
“He did what now?” Celestia asked sternly, looking at Sweetie Belle.
“Well... Can I get a drink of water first, please?”
“May I,” Rarity corrected automatically, using her magic to ever so lightly tweak her sister’s ear.
“Hey! I thought you said you wouldn’t do that anymore!” Sweetie Belle whimpered, looking at Rarity sadly.
Sweetie used Puppy Eyes!
...
The attack missed!
As Rarity began to lecture her sister, Celestia frowned once more, looking to Twilight. “Where’s Rainbow Dash?”
Twilight and her four friends looked to each other, gaping as they realized they had, somehow, forgotten all about Element of Loyalty.
“Right here!” Rainbow Dash yelled from down the hall, quickly flying her way next to her friends, only to be tackled from the sky in a bear-crushing hug from Pinkie Pie, followed by everypony else. “H-hey, what gives? Come on, the squirt’s watching me, stop it!”
“Scootaloo, look!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, jumping up and down eagerly. “Fluffy’s already getting better! Pinkie says it’s because of her new Gummy she found!”
“W-why did you guys ditch me like that?” Scootaloo panted, slightly worn down from running down hall after hall, doing her best to keep up with her idol. “That was not cool!”
Two sets of filly ears flattened against their owner’s heads, ashamed. “W-we didn’t mean to! Fluffy was really hurt, and Twilight got a letter, and everything was happening so fast, and-”
“And that’s what ah learned from Applebloom, Princess Celestia,” Applejack finished, setting her hat back on her head.
Princess Celestia blinked, then asked, “So you’re saying they ran into ‘Fluffy’, took him into their clubhouse to earn their cutie marks, tried to name it, and...”
Having been around for a few millennia, Princess Celestia knew that it was better to stay silent when you didn’t know what to say, rather than fill the silence with awkward ‘uhs’, ‘ums’, and ‘ers’. After she gathered her thoughts, she turned to Pinkie Pie, and started to question her. “Where did you find-”
“Gummy 2.0?” Pinkie finished for Celestia, setting the unconscious alligator next to Fluffy. “Well I was hopping around in the marsh, looking for some new ingrediants to put into my cupcakes, because blueberry is tasty and all, but it starts to get old, you know, and everypony just loves new flavors, and I was trying to find something more on the sour side you know, not like sour balls because those are super sour, and nopony likes super sour cupcakes or muffins, so-”
“Pinkie Pie? Could you fast-forward to the part where you found Gummy 2.0, please?” Twilight asked, blushing embarrassment, flashing Princess Celestia a nervous smile.
“Okie Doki Moki! Anyway, I saw this yellow rat being a Meanie-Pants McJerky Face to poor Gummy 2.0, so I blasted that mean ol’ rat all the way to the zebra lands with my Party Cannon Mark III! But then I went to poor Gummy 2.0, and it was bleeding really badly, and I got super duper depressed because Fluttershy’s cottage was like really far away, and I told it to just rest, because it needed to keep its strength, and then it did! It was all like ‘A rest? Yeah, that sounds like a super nifty keen idea, pretty pink party pony of Ponyville! I’ll do that!’ And then-”
“Wait, you could understand it?!” Celestia interrupted, her eyes going a little wider as she leaned in.
“Huh? Of course not, silly! That’s why I said it was like, not it did!” Pinkie giggled, shaking her head at Celestia. “But the second I told it to rest, it zonked out right there, and then it started to heal itself, like *woosh*, and then it stopped bleeding, and the cuts started to close, and then I was all Holy manure, this little guy can heal things?! That’s so awesome! And then I picked him up and started to head over to the library to show Twilight, but she wasn’t there, so then I-”
~o~O~o~
Pain... One of these days, knowing my luck, I’ll finally get to wake up pain-free, only to hit my head on the ceiling as I jump for joy. Still, I’ll take stinging pain over throbbing pain any day, since it’s easier to ignore, and since it usually heals quicker. Still, I couldn’t figure out why half of my body felt like I had tried to use a new shaver for the first time. What, it happens! You get a new razor, you’re not used to the weight, or the shape, your hand slips... Alright, fine, moving on...
Ow... Brian... I am totally blaming you for my constant waking up in pain thing... Oh, and seriously, that last dream was totally lame. Like mega levels of lame. Talking horses? That’s the best you could do? They weren’t even freaking Ponyta or Rapidash or Blitzle! What kind of crap was that?! I don’t do drugs, there’s no alcohol, so what. The. Hell. Brian, you had better have a damn good explanation for this! Ugh... Okay, Brian, status report...
Loading... Loading... Loading... Error: File Brian.exe not found. Restarting systems...
Yeah, yeah, very funny, Brian... Can you shut up and tell me what the hell’s going on already?
First you tell me to shut up, and then you want me to tell you something all in the same breath? Sounds to me like you don’t even know what you want, Brian snarked back to me. Although, I do have to, sadly, admit that he made a good point. Dammit logic! Y u no work for me?
... I concede your point, oh wise and knowledgeable Brian... So can I open my freaking eyes yet?
T-trying but... Too... heavy... Gonna go... to nap time...
*Le sigh* Of course, Brian would still need more rest or something, so yay... No being back in the world of the conscious for me. Oh well, maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get a real dream this time, instead of-
Speak of the devil! Okay, let’s see what I get... Space? Space! Woohoo! Score, I love space. Okay, imagine the space core from Portal, right? That’s me. Except that my vocabulary is a bit wider, and I don’t talk about it 24/7. I mean, I also don’t think I talk as much as the space core, though I know I talk a lot, so I can’t deny that there aren’t similarities, but I certainly don’t talk as fast as the space core, and the space core also rambles on and on like-
… Crap. Okay, fine. Whatever. Anyways, so I’m floating along in space, you know? No atmosphere, and I’m telling you, it was freaky weird not having to breathe, or maybe it was breathing nothingness? I don’t know. Anywho, so far, there’s no sign of life, so it’s... Wait, no, there’s another... something coming closer, so I guess it’s only us here... I’m just floating along in no direction, waiting for the other thing to get closer. I try running, but since there’s no gravity, (or traction), I go nowhere fast...
How long has it been already? I have no recollection of the time... What year is it? I smack myself for even thinking that. This was a dream, not a time machine, or a TARDIS! But still, it feels like the time is going so slowly up here, all alone... Or is it down? I mean, it’s space, so is there really a direction? I don’t know... I mean, I don’t feel down, so I guess I’m up... Dang, even talking to myself, and it feels so quiet, except for this... this... I don’t know what kind of sound it is, sorry. It’s one of those sounds that you can’t exactly verbalise, you know? Kind of like it’s really hard to write out what the Wilhelm scream is.
So I did the only thing I could: I waited. Well, okay, fine, I whistled. I even sang a little, but sadly, I’ve never been a good singer. I have pitch-perfect ears for any instrument, but add in my voice, and I just can’t figure out what went wrong... I mean, my voice sounded okay to me, but when I play it back, I just... Let’s just say that my singing has inspired several of the comic strips in The Book of Bunny Suicides.
So I waited, and pretty soon, there was, surprise surprise, another friggin pony making their way towards me. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t really have anything against horses, alright? But, see, supposedly, anyway, dreams are supposed to reflect... something something about yourself, and seeing all of these ponies was starting to piss me off just ever so slightly.
“Well, at least this is new,” I sighed, resting my head on my forepaws. “Or rather, to an extent. Now it’s a pony with wings and a horn! Le gasp!”
“If thou were not clearly touched in the head, We would smite thee where thou stands for such insolence!”
Oh. Joy. The talking, navy blue pegacorn thinks she’s super important or something. Pegacorn? Unisus? Hmm... I guess I’ll go with unisus for now, just because pegacorn sounds kinda dirty to me. I mean, just switch two letters, and then you have a barrel full of illicit adult materials. I might hate ponies at the moment, but I was not going to go that far. At least, not until she really gave me a reason to be pissed off at her.
That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to be a smart-ass to her, though. “Smite? I’m sorry, but there’s no Pokemon in League of Legends, and even if there were, that summoner spell only works on Jungle Creeps and Champion Pets, and I’m sure a Pokemon would be a Champion, not just some little minion. But you wanna talk in ye olde English? Sure, I can do that.”
I cleared my throat, then said, “Greetings! How art thou, and what is thy name? One is known as Glenn Winters, but one’s surname shall suffice.”
“... Verily, thou art as random as Pinkie,” the horse replied, blinking.
“What doth one’s smallest digit have to do with anything? Art thou referring to Pinkie and the Brian? I mean Brain? Because, verily, one has never seen much of that show. One has only had the theme song stuck in one’s mind, lingering like the stench of a chipmunk that’s been decaying under the front porch for weeks.” Oh, don’t stop me now, please! Give me jelly and butter me yellow, cause I’m on a roll!
“We are Princess Luna, and you will answer our questions without freaking out, or going insane, or-”
“Forty-two.” I giggled shamelessly as the horse’s eye twitched, so I held out a paw, begging her patience until I got my breath back. “O-okay, okay... Sorry, but this dream is really boring, you know? Just trying to spice it up a bit, since I’m still stuck as a Flareon and all.”
“What is a Flareon?”
I blinked, my mind racing as fast as it could, what with Brian being out of commission for the time being. “Well it... umm... Is a Pokemon?” I answer slowly, my eyebrows furrowing. “I... If you don’t know what a Pokemon is, I don’t really know how to explain what a Flareon is...”
Wow, that’s new. Never seen a horse’s face grow pale before... Cool! I wonder if I can get her to blush... Nah, prolly not. My roll to charm isn’t very high, and I refuse to do something super embarrassing or exposing, even in a dream.
“Pardon one, but... didst thou say... Pokemon?”
“... Yes? Look, I just want to know what the heck was with my previous dream, and what the heck is with this one. I mean, two horse dreams in a row? That’s more than a little freaky.”
“... This is thy first dream in Equestria, Mister... Winters, was it? Whatever happened earlier was not a dream.”
“A-huh... Yeah, that’s what any dream horse would say,” I countered, narrowing my eyes.
“... Thou knoweth how one cannot feel pain in dreams, correct?”
You know... hindsight’s a bitch. I mean, can you get any more obvious than that? Sadly, what with Brian on vacation, I walked right into it... “Well yeah. You can’t die in a dream, because you wake up before-”
...
I don’t even know what Loony did to me, and I don’t want to know. What I do know, however, is that I woke up with a start, screaming like a little girl.
As I gasped for breath, I stared at the nice, soothing stone wall in front of me. Nice, simple, plain stone... Not talking horses with horns, wings, or whatever else they had... Just nice, calm-
“Fluffy!”
Oh Dear GOD, no...
I vaguely felt one or more of the fillies crash into me in a death-threatening crush, but I can’t be sure. I know I just woke up from a dream, and I’m back in that other dream, which means that odds are this isn’t a dream, which means...
~o~O~o~
Sweetie Belle was brushing Fluffy’s tail worriedly, hoping that it was soothing her poor pet. “Come on, Fluffy, it’ll be okay, I promise! Just rest as long as you need. I’ll take care of you...”
Rarity frowned to herself, watching her sister do her best to take care of the unconscious animal that she claimed was her new pet. “She’s mighty taken by that critter, isn’t she,” Applejack remarked, sitting next to Rarity.
“I never knew she wanted a pet so badly,” Rarity admitted softly, shaking her head. “I suppose I should have known, what with all of the times that she tried to help me with Opal... I don’t know, do you think she’s even old enough for-”
“Course she is,” Applejack said without hesitation. “Look, Rares... You gotta stop sheltering Sweetie so much. Ah know you’re still trying to recover from...” Applejack cleared her throat awkwardly, before continuing. “Ah know you’re worried about a lot right now, but if you’re gonna see if Sweetie can handle responsibility, then a pet is a great start. It’ll help keep her occupied from thinking about her parents, and if she’s determined to take good care of him, then she’ll have someone else ta play with. Nothin like a loyal dog ta help a gal out.”
Rarity, closed her eyes, trying not to think about how her parents were now dead. She might not have agreed with them on many things, and they might have been moderately uncultured, but she still loved them. They did their best to raise she and Sweetie Belle as best as they could, and Rarity recognized that. However, regardless of how careful they said they tried to be on their many vacations, nothing could have warned them that the newest luxury ship, the H.R.M. Titaneigh, would sink.
Rarity noted her sister’s face, betraying nothing but worry and care for the unconscious animal. “... You’re right, as usual, Applejack,” Rarity sighed, smiling sadly at her farmer friend. “And if I didn’t say it before, thanks for being there for us, with the-”
“Don’t mention it, Rares,” Applejack interrupted, smiling. “Ah know... All of you gals are like family ta me. Ah know you an Fluttershy are closer, what with our arguments and all, but if you ever need ta talk...”
“I know, Applejack... Thank you,” Rarity said softly, hiding behind a hoofkerchief for a moment to dab at her eyes. “Though I do have to wonder how Sweetie Belle is faring... I can’t get her to talk about it, no matter-”
“Sugarcube, you... You can’t try to force somethin’ like that. Everypony grieves differently. Some refuse to accept it, others just ignore it, so they don’t hafta confront the pain and loss, and others just lose all hope and cry ‘til they die as well. All you can do is be there for her, and try to help her, but only if she asks for it. She has to accept it on her own. We can lead her to the pond, but we can’t force her to drink, can we?”
Rarity laughed bitterly, the sound dying as it started. “No, I... I suppose not,” Rarity admitted, gazing forlornly at her sister. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t try...”
Everypony jumped as Fluffy jerked upright, his eyes wide and a strangled cry sounding down the hall. Sweetie Belle quickly hugged Fluffy, hoping to calm him down, and started soothing him, stroking his silky mane. Sweetie Belle watched anxiously as one of Fluffy’s eyes twitched several times, his pupils dilated, before he passed out again in a faint with a strangled squeak.
Celestia sighed, messaging her head with a hoof. Oh Lulu, what did you do to this one?
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You kept spelling brain as Brian
Other than that looking forward 2 next chapter
2192769 if you haven't caught on, I've named my brain Brian because I have minor disgraphia. That, and because it amuses me.
That was fascinating!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=W_B3dvFMyDE]
You said it friend.
Of all the HiE and pokemon crossovers this deserves moar of everything!
Hope to see more!
Luna really need's to learn how to make a better first impression.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-nx5hPrzs9Hc/UHswsEhNohI/AAAAAAAAGpg/comwqszTMjA/s1600/129161956729992540.gif
He should really take lessons from Dresden in snarking at deities or making fun of supernatural entities.
I would do something like that at least.
2194039 Well, see, if I had KNOW she was a REAL deity, and not just a deluded dream, I would have snarked a bit differently. That being said, next time I see Luna, ish gonna be fun... XD
2194092 Great, thanks! I'm always worried I rush things too much, but then again, that's why I have a lot of scene breaks, so hopefully it all works out. X3 Do you think it needs the Comedy tag? And yeah, I'll be explaining why she calls meh Fluffy soon enough. XD Has to do with what Rares and Ajack talked about, to an extent.
2194127
.
Snarking, wisecracking or making bad puns in the prensence of beings that could destroy you with a thought seems to be a bad habit amongst people here
I like self inserts that don't make the main character an unlikable jerk. :D
Good job! :D
2194454 So I'm a likable jerk? What makes me likable, and (I would assume) in a non Gary-Stu way?
2192834 Don't know if serious or copout for any errors
2194608 ... I'm serious. My brain has been called Brian for a good half a year or so now. You'll notice that any instance of 'Brian' is capitalized, whereas brain is always lower-case.
Haha, this is looking to be pretty funny. I know you said that this fic was just an experiment, but I do hope you continue, our fav box would be cold and lonely without it.
“... Thou knoweth how one cannot feel pain in dreams, correct?”
Tis a lie my friend! If you pinch yourself in a lucid dream expecting to feel pain, you feel pain. Plus nightmares & such where I get stabbed, hurts like hell and not fun at all.
2466296 Meh, what do I know? I think I was trying to say something else, but didn't know how to word it. X3
..............has this been confirmed? Is it possible that they are adrift in a lifeboat?
Because if not, I am going to have to give you the biggest bitch slap ever.
Of all time.
2489670 Why? Rarity's parents KILLED her character. I HATED them the second I saw them. I WOULD go on a huge rant, but I thought we already had this discussion. I think. Not sure. XD If we haven't, I will be more than happy to go into detail as to how and why Rare's parents kill her character.
2490323 first off... that wasan epic intro to meeting Luna, seriously, I think I bust a gut on that one. Second, I must ask for a link to that avatar pic of yous... it's all around the word cute.
this chapter was hilarious!
why is nobody trying a translation spell?
3177426 Because they don't have one yet. Everyone in Equestria happens to speak modern Equestrian, so the only languages left are the older ones, and no one wants a translator spell for those because those who DO learn it learn it to study culture, history, etc, and translating it would make that meaningless. That's actually one of Twilight's objectives, later on in the story, is making a Translation spell. Congrats on thinking ahead of the story!
However, regardless of how careful they said they tried to be on their many vacations, nothing could have warned them that the newest luxury ship, the H.R.M. Titaneigh, would sink.
I felt a disturbance in the force.....as if thousands of bronies screamed out it agony......and then were suddenly silenced.
if I was him I say kill me at luna
I'mma post it anyway.
To quote The Flamicon,
"Aaaand... my brain no longer cares. So now I just need to sit back in this comfy chair, have a nice cup of Tim's and let it aaaall blow over. (sip)"
Just saying: Somepony to Watch Over Me.