Chapter the Tenth
“Stupid, arrogant, perverted... I cannot believe him! Trying to act all innocent and... Ugh!”
To say I was mad would be an understatement, okay? I was pissed. Ticked off. I was red-hot, cinnamon-flavoured angry, that’s what I was! I mean, it’s bad enough that I’m on the... svelte side, but seriously?! Of all the Pokemon I had to turn into, I had to turn into this stupid ice rat?! It’s not fair!
What’s that? You don’t know who I am? Why the hell should I give a damn if you know who I am or not?! … Know what, fine. If only because you lot are better to talk to than that-
My name is Jessica Flamebrant, but if you call me anything other than Jessie, I’ll roundhouse your butts to the moon! Yes, I know that this stupid rat isn’t a fighting type. Does it look like I give a crap?! I’ll find a way to make it happen, mark my words!
Anyway, I’m twenty, five-foot seven, and yeah, I’m a redhead. Wanna make something of it? I didn’t think so! I’m a third dan in Taekwon-do, so don’t mess with me! Interests? Well, aside from the obvious, I love camping, hunting, volleyball... Yeah, pretty much anything physical I can do! I might only weigh 130 pounds, but that’s all muscle! Of course, it’s wasted on stupid college. My dad wants me to become an engineer, but I don’t know. Calculus sucks. It requires too much thought. I mean, at least music makes sense!
Oh, right, forgot that part. I’m also pretty good at the French Horn. Not amazing, mind you, but I’m more competent than a lot of other people are! I mean, not that I want to go into performing for a major, or composing, per se, but... I don’t know, music just makes a lot more sense than this stupid major does! Ugh...
Oh well. At least my campus is far away from home. My dad won’t notice I’m gone for a few weeks, if I’m lucky. I don’t have a room mate, so no worries there, either. Sure, it was more expensive, but I was there on a scholarship anyway, so what does it matter? I didn’t want to have to worry about getting a slut for a room mate, or a lesbian or something. I mean, you want to do that, fine, whatever, I don’t give a damn! Just don’t be all open about it and trying to shove it in my face and tell me that I have to accept you! I don’t have to do a single damn thing! If I want to think negatively of you for something, I’m allowed to! You can’t control what I think!
Sorry, shouldn’t be talking politics or religion, and, somehow, it counts as both.
Whatever.
Okay, fine. Sorry. Can we get back to me now? Great, thanks. You’re a real peach.
“Hey, where are you going?”
Oh come on! What now?! I turned around, glaring impatiently at the pale blue pony that was chasing after me, who was followed by that large, red one. Let’s see, horn on the blue one, nothing on the red one, but he was really big, so I guess what he lacks in magic or whatever these ponies have he makes up for in muscle. Joy. Another jock. I just left a Pokemon one, I didn’t need some pony one trying anything or making fun of me or anything!
Of course, they can’t understand me, so why dignify them with a response? They’re the ones that dragged me here, from what I understand, so why should I trust them? Oh great, she caught up to me. What does she want? I swear, if it’s anything prissy, I’m going to-
“Trixie was wondering if that the purple one said was true. You’re from another world?”
… What... the hell. Is... does she speak in the third person? Well, that tells me a lot about her already. Do I like her? I don’t think I do. The red one? All he has to do is open his mouth to know that.
Oh, they’re waiting for me to answer. Ho hum... Well, not like I have anything better to do, right? Aside from learning some moves so I can defend myself, of course. Bored, I decided to humor them, nodding.
Ha! What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? Don’t know what to say now? Yeah, didn’t think so!
“Trix-” the blue mare paused as the red stallion cleared his throat quietly. Oh, I see, so they’re together. Okay. Twilight zone? You ain’t got nothin’ on this shit.
“... Fine. We were wondering if you’d like to stay with us while Princess Celestia and Luna try to figure out where you came from, and how to get back home. Trixie noticed that you did not care for that mutt’s company, and figured that you would like some distance, right Big Mac?”
Big Mac? Big is a part of his name? Wow... Okay, no comment. Alright big guy, let’s see what kind of pony you are. You’re probably-
“Eeyup.”
I blinked, surprised at the shortness of the answer. I mean... I kind of expected him to say something like ‘Whatever’, or ‘It was your idea’, or even just a simple ‘yes’ or ‘sure’. Eeyup? What the hell does that even...
Wow... His eyes are really green... Know what, screw it. Why not? They want to pamper me? Like I’m really going to say no! How else am I going to get food on this stupid world? If I can’t talk, I can’t work. Simple. May as well find out how this stupid world works...
.o.O.o.
I suppose I should have known better. I mean, what moron takes a nap when there’s three kids in the next room getting a bath? Yeah, I don’t know. Just because I’m smart intellectually doesn’t mean I’m smart in the common sense area. Those are two different kinds of intelligence, sadly.
If you haven’t guessed by now, my nap did not last for very long. I had spent too much time wondering if it was safe to take a nap, and getting comfortable for said nap, that by the time I was almost asleep...
“Cutie Mark Crusader Spa Workers! Yay!”
Huh? What do you know? I do have claws, and... wow, amazing! Apparently, they’re also strong enough to keep me attached to the ceiling upside-down as well! Imagine that!
I can!
I wasn’t freaking talking to you, Brian! Shut up!
Hmm... Nah. See, it’s fun to bug you when you’re all flustered or embarrassed, or in situations like this. You make my life entertaining!
You’re not supposed to be entertained; you’re my brain! You’re supposed to just sit there and do all of my thinking for me and crap, not give me attitude!
Aww, come on, brah, can’t you just-
No! I am not talking to you! You should have been wide awake and telling me that their stupid bath was over! How do you not hear water no longer running, and three fillies talking excitedly?! Seriously, what the hell, Brian! You dropped the ball!
But it was a bouncy ball! It’s supposed to be dropped!
… Huh. Well damn! That’s a pretty convincing argument, considering that bouncy balls are supposed to be dropped, or thrown, or-
No! You still don’t drop, or throw, or play with any kinds of balls when you’re in a glass house, Brian! Napping and sleeping are glass houses! Don’t go throwing bouncy balls in glass houses!
But it gets so hot and boring in glasshouses!
Hmm... another excellent point. Glasshouses are just full of plants, and while some might be nice to smell, it usually stinks in them, and the humidity... don’t even get me started on the humidity!
Oh, right, I should get back to reality. Where was I? Right, hanging onto the ceiling with my claws for my life, having lost my initiative and observation rolls. Well... crap! How am I supposed to get down? The floor is stone, and like ten feet below me! If I’m a cat, then I can survive the fall. If I’m a dog, then... Well, I don’t know then. Guess it’s time to find out.
Now, you know that myth about how cats always land on their feet? It’s true. At least, as long as they have at least a foot or two to work with. I mean, if you drop them on their back from one inch off the ground, that doesn’t really count, you know? Anyway, I was lucky. See, I’ve owned a cat ever since I was born. And Patches, God rest her soul... Wait, animals don’t have souls... That’s what makes Humans different from all of the animals... Huh... Umm... Anyway...
Patches was technically my older brother’s cat, but since I’m the one that actually took the most care of her, pampered her, brushed her, she was really my cat. Anyway, when I was young, I read a lot of books about cats. Not that I understood half of what I read, but when it also gave pictures, it was really hard to misunderstand what they were saying. A cat always lands on its feet by rotating its head, then it’s shoulders, and the rest of its body follows. They arch their back as they land, which softens the impact, somehow. I don’t know, I’m not an architecture major. I’m sure they could explain that part better than I could.
“Fluffy? What’cha doin up there? Git down here, we’re gonna give ya a bath and earn our cutie marks!”
I’m up here because it’s safer up here! I looked down at them, grateful that they were in ‘front’ of me, since my tail was hanging down due to gravity, and I wasn’t sure if... Oh crap... Where’d the mother, er, sister, go to?
I stiffened like a board when I saw her walking underneath me, her eyes resolutely staring straight forward. WELL... Brian? Advice?
… Nothing. Great, he’s frozen just like I am. Well... Awkward much? I dropped to the floor like a rock, doing my best to emulate a cat, making my head as ‘normal’ as possible before the drop, and then trying to shift the rest of my body to follow. It mostly worked, but I didn’t arc my back or something, because that still hurt just a little. Not like I was afraid of a fracture or something, but just enough to make my muscles hurt a little.
I turned tried my best not to blush as I tucked my tail as close as I could to myself without looking self-conscious. Naturally, I failed that roll as well. Remind me not to play any tabletop games while I’m in this world, because I’ve got a record for sucking.
I stood there shuffling my paws awkwardly for awhile, looking from one innocent face to the next, ignoring... Rarity her name was? Yeah, I wasn’t going to look at her. If I looked at her, I might find out if she looked, and I don’t even want to know!
I rushed past them all, ignoring their startled cries as I made it to the bathroom, spinning around to close the door. I’m sure you can all guess what happened knowing my luck.
What, hitting myself in the face with a door? Nice try. If only I could have been so lucky... There was no friggin door! At all! I mean, what the hell?! Wait a second... Princess’ room... Okay, nevermind. I suppose I should have expected that. I mean, who’s going to burst into the Princess’ room to see her taking a bath or... you know. Yeah, nopony. So why would she need a door to separate the two rooms? I don’t know... Wishful thinking?
So yeah, let’s see... I’m staring at three fillies who are rushing up to me, all of whom are confused and or concerned. They couldn’t figure out why someone would rush past them just to turn around and look at a wall. Sounds pretty crazy, right?
“Hey, why aren’t you getting into the water?” the orange one asked, fluttering her wings.
“Maybe it’s too cold for him,” the yellow one suggested, testing the water with a hoof.
Crap, I really need to start remembering names better if I’m going to be stuck here for any length of time. I can remember Sweetie Belle because... Well, because Sweetie Belle!
“I know!” Sweetie Belle squeaked.
Hnngggg... That squeaking is going to kill me one of these days, I just know it. I’m already hovering on pre-diabetic, but she’s going to rocket launch me to type three if she keeps it up!
“He breathes fire, right? What if he hates the water? He’d be scared of drowning in a bath of water!”
… Wow, okay, I’m actually, honestly surprised! She couldn’t have been more than eight or nine, but she was able to figure that out that quickly? Maybe these horses or ponies or whatever are pretty smart!
The three of them huddled up together, whispering as they tried to, I’m sure, figure out a solution to this conundrum. I glanced to Rarity, who quirked an eyebrow questioningly. Right, can’t talk. Dang that sucks. I looked around the room some more, and noticed the bath was still full, and had quite a few bubbles left. I chuckled at the thought of the fillies making beards out of them, and hiding beneath them to try to surprise attack the others with a spla-
Oh no, don’t you even think about-
Cutie Mark Cavalier Bubble Ninja! Yay!
Oh Dear God... When are you going to grow up?!
I pawed over to the bath stealthily, my pads making no sound on the stone. Hey, being a cat dog thing is awesome! People were always shocked back home when I would ‘appear out of nowhere’ next to or behind them, and asked how I snuck up on them. I mean, I never even really tried to sneak up on them either, you know? When you’re a big guy, you learn how to move slowly and quietly so you don’t scare everyone, and now that I was actually stealthy... Okay, screw it, being a Pokemon, able to talk or not, this was going to be fun.
No one ever grows up, Brian, I retorted as I eased myself into the hot water, trying not to make a sound and thus alert the fillies as to what I was doing. People just learn how to act in public!
Nearly set! All I had to do was make sure that Rarity wouldn’t disrupt my plan... Using my best puppy eyes, I placed my two forepaws together pleadingly, before holding one paw to my mouth as a request for quiet.
“Girls?” she asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
Crap! I knew I couldn’t trust her! Dammit Brian! Why didn’t you warn me sooner?!
I sunk into the water as much as I dared, using the bubbles to hide my body as she continued to talk. “Where did Fluffy go? Weren’t you keeping an eye on him?”
Wait... She’s helping me? Why would she do that? Unless... Wait, why did the fillies have only a few splotches of wet on them unless... Of course! That’s why not much time had passed! They were only getting the bath ready, and she couldn’t get all three into the bath, so she’s going to... Oh you clever girl...
“What if he fell into the bathtub?!” She gasped dramatically.
The crusaders all rushed towards the bath, where I lurked eagerly. They still needed to take their bath? Okay! Then she can’t get upset that I’m getting them all wet again, and once they’re already wet, they won’t have a reason not to take a bath, since there’s going to be a splash war!
… Or I could be over-analyzing everything, like usual. I swear, I can take the most simple of things and make them so complex it’s stupid and silly. Oh well. I haven’t had a good bubble bath in years...
What?! Don’t judge me! Bubble baths are great for relaxing and reading a book! You know how hard it is to find a bath where a six foot five inch guy can comfortably lay down, or sprawl out, or anything? Really damn hard, that’s what!
With a surge as the fillies neared, I jumped out, bringing with me several gallons of water at the very least, maybe even a dozen as I ‘roared’ at the fillies, causing them to squeal. I landed, totally soaked, right behind them. As they turned to face me with varying degrees of shock and anger, I grinned evilly as I heard Rarity approach right behind me. Water ninja!
I shook myself vigorously, showing all four of them in water before bouncing off, getting a head-start for the inevitable chase. What, you think you can catch me, fillies? Think again! I’ve got years of experience on my side!
We ran all around that room a dozen times easily, jumping from shelf to cabinet with abandon, though I did my best to avoid the ones holding bottles and other items that could get ruined.
Oh good, they’re panting heavily now, as am I. If they’re as tired as I am, then they should go right to sleep after the bath! Now, how to get them... Aha!
I waited patiently, sitting on the edge of the bath, waiting for them all to tackle me. They were getting better, mind you. They were starting to use teamwork, but this time, as they came at me, I braced myself, taking a huge breath and doing my best to hold it as the three of them flew into me... and straight into the bath.
Check, and, mate.
After I resurfaced, I shook my head only a little so that I could see, only to stare into a pair of angry, icy-blue eyes. Oh, right... I forgot I had splashed Rarity too, when I shook myself. I thought she could take a joke, but uh... I’m guessing that no one messed with her mane.
As she loomed over me, I could only think of one plan, and with Brian still on shut-down, there was no way of knowing if this was a stupid idea, or a very stupid idea...
Taking all bets!
.o.O.o.
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first off
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
fluffy done goofed
2345658 ... Yes? Why, is there something wrong?
2345670 the new chapter is not showing up
2345688 I don't know what to tell you. It says published on my end, and someone else has already read it and commented, and there's 23 views total with yours being the only one saying it doesn't work... I don't know.
Not liking the girl. Just. Not. Liking her. Also!
I believe movies should be moves.
I believe shock should be something else (unless he got ze lightning powuhs.)
bring should be bringing if I am not mistaken? Good chapter sir, good chapter.
2345956 Thank you for allowing me to be lazy and not pre-read for myself! I appreciate it!
(Shock was supposed to be shook, I think. I suck at tense usage. X3 )
2345960 Always here to enable a good author. i.imgur.com/zhH1HXY.gif
Oh god…she's that kinda girl.
Now I don't have anything against said personality type (some of my best friends are like that), but they're hotheaded, aggressive and stubborn. It can be frustrating to always have to calm them down, or break up their arguments before (or when) they turn violent.
2361783 Thanks! What made this chapter so much more awesome that you commented in this one as apposed to others? (Chapters, I mean. Just curious, not putting you in the spot or anything.
)
I love this story, although it kind of scares me that the main character is a lot like myself... Its funny being a fluffy person and being so easily able to sneak up on people, although for myself its even funnier because my skin practically glows white along with my fire red hair... Anyway love the story, have a stache
Don't panic Fluffy!! Just.......somehow teleport a stallion in front of her! Wet manes are all the rage! I mean, what pony could resit this?
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/200/539/RARITYwithajuicebox1.png?1321412399
2489753 But, see, that's the problem... She dun look like that. She has the face of PURE RAEG. NO GUY in his right mind wants to be anywhere close to a woman who is feeling rather... Vindictive...
thats... i... great life rule
2621871 Thanks! Brian and I have had many an interesting conversations, let me tell you...
Uh, you absolutely sure the girl didn't have blue hair, specialize in Haos, and have a relationship with a guy named Dan Kuso?
4492640 *Blinks* Who does what where? I honestly have NO clue what you're talking about.
This is the best chapter yet
This is a name.
On what?
5143636 Yeah. Old laptop didn't like the Shift key, so I guess it slipped through. The betting was just laziness, though, most likely.
From what I've read so far, this story is... a mixed bag. While the concept is interesting, there hasn't been much plot development besides Garnet appearing, and if Pokémon are appearing all over Equestria, it certainly doesn't seem like it. A grand total of 7 Pokémon have appeared in this story so far: Glenn Winters, the Totodile, the Glaceon whose name I can't remember, Garnet, a Latias, a Tailow(?) and an Eevee. Maybe you could have some MLP characters having to deal with problems causes by Pokémon?
6959884 Yeah, it... that's part of why I think I lost steam in writing the story. There's really just too much I wanted to do, and I just couldn't handle it. I'm not a good enough writer.
alright, honestly? i read this far and i just find that im not really caring by this point anymore. i find the storytelling here to be dry and frankly uninteresting, with OC characters that i really dont give a damn about, considering that both them and the ponies r passing around the Idiot Ball like a game of Hot Potato.
seriously, i dont see how this story got so many likes when the apparent main char is just an overgrown manchild with an axe to grind and chip on his shoulder. not to mention that the story is just, i find, boring and going nowhere fast...cant say i didnt give this thing a chance to improve or just a chance in general, im just not liking it...
7379314 Well, thank you for giving it a chance, and stating why you do not care for it! Many do not let me know why they dislike it, so I will do my best to improve with this new information. I hope you have better luck with the next story you read.
Skipped the bitch, loved the bubble bath scene.
Specifically, Intelligence versus Wisdom.