Looking Through the Pokeball

by Magical Trevor

In Which Beverages are Consumed

After I took that first sip of alcohol, I knew I had discovered something very special: I absolutely hated it with every fiber of my being. Discord tried to find something I would like, but I learned very quickly that I just did not like the general taste or feel of alcohol, and that was more than fine by me!

You see, until today, I’ve never had alcohol. And I’ve never smoked, either, despite my past co-workers’ many attempts and offers of a “free smoke.” Health issues aside, I didn’t want to get into a habit that would force me to continue to throw money at it for momentary pleasure. I prefer to spend my money on things that can be enjoyed multiple times, or shared, like books, video games, and so forth.

So, what does this all mean for me? Quite simply, it meant that I only got somewhat tipsy. Discord thought it would be amusing to make alcohol that acted like alcohol, but without needing to drink as much. Simply put, Princess Heart-Butt was the only one who remained truly sober from the beginning, and it… Well, I suppose I may as well explain from the top.

I took a tentative sniff of the drink before lapping at it once like a cat. It… had a taste. What that taste was, I don’t know precisely, aside from knowing that I didn’t like it.

Discord frowned. “That’s odd, I would have sworn… No matter, try this instead.” He snapped his talons, and the club soda turned into a… I think it was beer?

I tried again, but it still tasted like… It was right on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn’t figure out what it- Oh! How nice, he changed it to a fruity drink! I like fruit juice! Fruit juice is very tasty. Surely I would like this! I took a single swallow, choked, then spat it out, gagging. “This isn’t fruit juice!” I exclaimed, scandalized. “It tastes like it died or something!”

“Well yeah,” Crystal slurred. “S’ gotta ferment to become alcohol. Duh.”

I nodded, turning to Discord. Wait, where did he go? That’s the floor… That’s the ceiling… Oh, there he is! He’s giving everyone a drink! Well that’s awfully nice of- Shit!

“No!” I shouted, streaking towards Discord’s arm, bashing it with my forehead to force the drink he was about to offer Kaye into the wall. I landed roughly, stumbling as I fought to keep my balance. Apparently I was a light-weight, as that single swallow was enough to make me blink a few times to refocus. “She’s just a kid!”

Discord scoffs, offering me a glass of what looked like chocolate milk. “Please... As if I would ever offer a foal alcohol. I am a master of Chaos, thank you, and foals are very near and dear to my heart. After all, it was those arguing fillies that freed me,” he chortles. “No… All a foal needs to cause chaos is a single, simple thing: energy. And you wouldn’t deny this poor, innocent-looking child a chocolate milk, would you?” he asks, holding up Kaye in his forelimbs while the pink Eevee gave the best puppy-eyes she could manage.

Ha! As if I would fall for such a duplicitous tactic! I face it head-on, certain of my own mental and moral strength! It crumpled faster than a wet tissue attempting to support a Wailord. I wilt, shaking my head. “Fine… I’m not your parent, so I can’t tell you what you can and can’t do. But if you give yourself a tummy-ache, you can’t complain about it, understood Kaye?” I ask sternly.

… You know, I’m not sure why I bothered, considering she had already greedily guzzled half of it in the seconds following my having said “fine.” When I finished, she was already starting to vibrate with a wide grin, a large chocolate mustache on her face as she chirps loudly, “Indeed mista Floofy!”

With all of the seriousness I could muster, I took the cup and put the lid around Kaye’s eye, creating a monocle. “Quite. Now, you had best-”

Kay was off like a shot, exclaiming her exuberance to the world as she went, leaving me gaping at the smoke silhouette that she left behind, as the true weight of my actions suddenly fell about me. This… was not good. This was very much not good. Smoke clouds left behind by hyperactive children is never good, even in the most innocent of offsprings, do you understand?! The odds of them getting into trouble is virtually one to one, and I do not care for those odds, no sirree!

But it’s okay. She is but one, and we are many! Not… quite Legion, but we can still do this! I turn around to speak to my subjects and advisors, confident I could eloquently alert them to the present and current danger! “Uh, guys? We miiiiight have… a…”

Chaos. That’s all I can describe as the status of my poor subjects. The only parts I manage to make out are Purple Smart in the chandelier, Blueblood trying to get up to her, the others laughing and singing, and Crystal declaring herself drinking mistress, and that none shall challenge her authority. “... Alright. No one is listening to me. I can see this now. I’ll just get going now… Have fun, and don’t drive drunk!”

”You don’t git to tell me howta-” Crystal hiccups as she staggers towards me, “howta drive… I tell you howta run! Ten laps, git!”

I can feel myself pale. In her state, she might try to make me run around the entire city; I needed a distraction! “Look, a blatant disregard of your authority!” I blurt out in panicked desperation, pointing towards the group before making a break for it.

Don’t look back! Don’t look back, or she’ll see the fear in your eyes and flay your skin to use as a coat, using your corpse as some sort of grisly meat sled!

Wait… A... meat sled? What the ever-loving fluff is wrong with me today? That’s horrifying!

I practically flew from the room down the illuminated halls, feeling far lighter than I had in the past. Though perhaps that was due in part to how plush and springy the carpet and rugs felt. Dang, it was good to be the king around here, wasn’t it? New life-goals acqui-

”Get your flanks back here, Glenn! I’m not done whipping you into shape!”

I swear I just clenched all over as I hear the banshee screech my death-warrant behind me. Gotta go fast!

”Git back here you flamin’ bastard!”

Eeeeeeeeee! Gotta go faster! Gotta go faster, faster, fasterfasterfas-

She plows into me from behind with a freezing chunk of ice having sped her up to let me know she cheated and used Ice Shard. As if the bitch- I’m sorry, excuse me - vixen wasn’t fluffing fast enough as it was! Not only that, but she’d use that on carpet?! To say I was in a bad mood while afraid for my life would be calling water “damp”.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ a young voice shrieks in exuberant joy.

Ahhh yes, the youthful jubilation of having naught a single responsibility but obtaining fun activities and sugary treats to help fuel your wild and devil-may-care plots and escapades. Well, at least she was being safe, and not-

”Door!” I shriek in horror exclaim in warning.

It was like the world was travelling in slow motion. We could either keep going, and run into a door, or I could tackle Kaye and go tumbling down the stairs going down in a spiral… Well, I mean, at least going down the stairs means we could tuck and roll, which would lessen the damage because it would be like parkour or whatever, right? Yeah, sure! Sounds like a plan, at least. Not a very good plan, granted, but any plan is better than no plan, right?

Yeah, about that: allow me to sing you a brief song, inspired by my suffering.

O is for one more mistake, that’s followed by another,
H is for how badly I have misjudged this encounter.
B is for a better way I could have handled this,
O is how obese I am, that makes the vixen hiss.
T is for this tumbling, down countless flights of stairs,
H is for how hurt I’ll be, these cuts and dirty hairs.
E is for each single time I could have trained on longer,
R is for right choices, which could’ve made me stronger...
My name is Glenn Winters... And I would like to say:

”Oh bother…”

-WHAM-

Author's Note:

If you're a new reader, or rereading things since it's been forever, Please do not read past the chapters that say they're being revised! I need to fix things, expand upon others, etc., and I'd rather not confuse you. Thank you. With that out of the way...

To quote everyone's favorite space monkey prick: I'm back, bitches!

Long story short, for a long time, I've felt lost with this story. I'm not sure what it is or was, but I just couldn't bring myself to write. And it occurred to me that the main, real reason was quite simple. I was reading a couple of stories that shared similar themes, breaking down at the end of each of them when I realized that I stopped because I was afraid to face what the next chapter or few are going to cover. Afraid of not doing a good enough job, or being too heavy-handed, or... Not entirely sure anymore, but I need to try to face it head-on, and realize that if it falls flat, it falls flat. Not everything can be perfect, especially when you've been reminded over and over lately about how big of a screw-up you are.

So yeah! This is me trying not to be a screw-up any longer at fulfilling my promise(s) to you, the readers, for this story. I am genuinely going to write every day, and attempt to get better every week. I apologize for keeping you all waiting for so long. I've been telling others who are sad at the ending of the show - an ending of an era - that we shouldn't be sad that the story is over; we should rejoice that a new one can begin. While I meant it for Gen 4 ending and Gen 5 beginning... whenever that is, it... Well, I need to finish this story. And then I'll move on to the next story, and so forth. This ride is going to continue. All I can do is work hard to ensure that it's worth it.

Comments

[Zake]

Glad you are back

[Nitro Indigo]

And now I’ve read the entire story so far! (You can unpublish the chapters that need revising.) Here are my thoughts on the fanfic as a whole:

• I like how this has a small, focused cast, but it comes at the expense of seemingly-important characters who never get mentioned again. (eg: Latias, Shinx, Garnet.) I know you’ve already said that your plans changed and you don’t want to retcon everything, but still.
• I still think Faraway World of Our Dreams is a better name. There’s only a Poké Ball in the prologue. When and why did you rename it? Also, while the new cover is better-drawn, I like that the original cover has the other main character on it and shows their personalities through their facial expressions.
• It looks jarring that chapters only start having titles halfway through, and some of those titles are only tangentially related to the chapter’s events.

Also, this fanfic needs Pokémon and profanity tags.

[Animatorsnake]

9905143
There is a profanity tag, though if I'm being honest I didn't notice that tag till now so I can't confirm how long it's been there

[Animatorsnake]

Glad your back, but I got two questions, this chapter, is it a freshly new one or a revision of an older chapter? Just making sure I'm not rereading a chapter I've read already. My second question is... How yeah doing?

[Magical Trevor]

9958929
This was/is a new chapter. I'm doing... okay, not as well as I'd like to be. I'm going to be posting a blog, actually, so just keep an eye out for that Monday.

[Nitro Indigo]

9958927
No there isn't.

[Animatorsnake]

Okay I just read this chapter... just what in the deities did I witness?