Burritos? NO.

"Well, back in the statue," Discord thought, "Now, what should I think about for the NEXT one thousand years?"

A tentative pause filled the garden. It was almost as if the world was anticipating the thoughts of the Draconoquues.

"Tacos," Discord pondered with finality, "I shall think about tacos."

A bush to his right face-branched. Or maybe that was just the wind...

"Wait, what is a taco?"

---------
"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am bored with this poem, potato." Discord had tried many different methods of passing the time, but his thoughts always drifted off quickly.

However, his mind once again returned to the greatest question he had ever pondered.

"Maybe a taco is a... Type of insect?"

---------

"So, after the pea soup is ready, I'll cover the roads in soap- No, wait I already did that. This time I'll cover the soap in roads!" Discord's mind had been wandering with nowhere to go for quite a while now. With nothing to do but think all day, he had plenty of time to plan his next great escape and subsequent chaos-creating.

Sometimes, ponies would visit the garden, but he mostly ignored them. Although there was one who visited and gave him the idea to turn everyone bipedal, except for her. It was an idea he was particularly proud of, he just couldn't wait to see the look on that mare's face!

"I never did figure out what a taco is..."

--------
"...And that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth." Discord finished. He didn't know where the speech he had just thought came from, but he had the random urge to think it. He also was filled with the urge to wear a tall hat. It was something he didn't fully understand. Then again, understanding was something Discord felt was unnecessary. Who wants to understand things, that's just overrated!

"Although", he mused, "Maybe just this once, I'd like to know why I have the urge to ensure equality among ponies..."
--------

Discord, still in his "Oh, no!" pose, was having some minor difficulties.

"So, if the Teddy Bear army marches south, that will leave my western front undefended from the radiator warriors. Perhaps if I send the Lemon Legion west, the League of Legendary Limes will join my cause. Lemon and Lime does sound like a good combination, I wonder if anypony has tried that before."

Meanwhile, a real fight was taking place just outside of his imaginary one.

"I'm not chicken! You are!" A young, alabaster colt accused another.

"No way! I dared YOU to go touch the statue! Now, go do it, 'cause I won't!" The ebony unicorn pointed at the stony faced Spirit of Chaos.

With an angry growl, the white earth pony drew near the statue. In the moon's light, it did seem almost sinister. It was as if Discord were actually aware of his surroundings inside that statue.

Slowly, he reached a hoof to the trapped Avatar of Chaos. He gently tapped the foot of the statue, and quickly withdrew. He could have sworn he heard a sound like the tiniest of bells when he touched the stone foot.

"There, are you happy now?" He called out to his friend.

"No, you chicken! Actually touch it!" The dark colored unicorn called back.

The two descended into fighting at that point. Right in front of the statue of Discord.

"Hmm? What's this?" Discord noticed the chaotic energy source right in front of him, "Just as I was about to steal the secret doughnut recipe from the Kitchen Sink Empire!"

Of course, he quickly focused on the energy in front of him. He could feel it flowing through him, weakening the seal.

"Just a few more seconds!" He strained, as the seal was less worn down from time.

Then, he felt it. The mobility in his joints was returning!

"Yes!" He exclaimed, "Free once again!" He struck a dastardly pose, with his fingers tapping right in front of his face. "Now for my new reign of chaos!"

But, it would seem as though the seal was not fully broken. For, just as he was about to leave, he felt a sharp impact to his stomach.

A stone statue now holding its hands just inches from its nose fell backwards onto the ground. Two ponies were not a second behind it.

"NO," Discord cursed, "I WAS SO CLOSE! I SHALL TURN YOU TWO INTO TACOS ONCE I AM FREE!"

The two colts quickly sobered up, and looked around frantically.

"Did you hear something about being close?" The black one said, standing and helping his friend.

"No, but I did hear the word 'taco,' what's a taco, anyways?" The earth pony questioned.

"I do not know... Sounds good, though."

Shrugging, and forgetting their fight, the two walked away into the night. One by the name of Tortilla Wrap, and the other Black Bean.

And that is how Tacos were brought to Equestria.

-------
Many years passed, and Discord's thoughts were just as random as before.

"My nose itches," he thought.

At first, the feeling was so small, he hardly even registered it. But it grew. Soon enough, Discord was almost begging one of those annoying birds to land on his face, just in the hope that they could scratch his itch.

"CURSE YOU ELEMENTS!"

-------

Many years had passed since Discord had been sealed. Finally, after much waiting, he had become free once more.

"FINALLY!" He shouted, "My nose has been itching for nine hundred years! And my fingers were RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT!"

The two ponies who had accidentally facilitated his escape looked up in horror as he furiously scratched his nose.

"Now," he said, his nose thoroughly itched, "I shall go have a taco."

And so he did.

What, did you expect him to do something like, say, try to take over Equestria? He's Discord, you should know not to expect him to do anything! Especially not the same thing twice, geez.

Author's Note:

I wrote most of this for a drabble contest. Sadly, it did not win. So, I extended it and posted it here! I hope you liked it! Oh, and don't take it too seriously. It has the tags "Comedy," "Random," and "Discord." Would you expect anything else?

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Comments ( 25 )

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Shadowstalker

Shadowstalker #1 · Jan 14th, 2013 · · ·

Your right, he's Discord.

Diamond Sparkle

Diamond Sparkle #2 · Jan 14th, 2013 · · ·

Poor Discord *scratches*

Lepking13

Lepking13 #3 · Jan 14th, 2013 · · ·

In my personal opinion, i believe Pinkie goes through the 4th wall every now and then and hangs out with Discord. Because, you know, Pinkie Poor Discord though, a 900 year itch.

Seether00

Seether00 #4 · Jan 15th, 2013 · · ·

Mexican place nearby has a really great fried seafood chimichanga, stuffed with crab and shrimp. I may go and have one now.

Sausagefanclub

Sausagefanclub #5 · Jan 15th, 2013 · · ·

Phew, almost scrolled right past this little jewel the first time. Fortunately I found it again.
Now this is a random story of epic proportions.

I wish I liked tacos

tbh I upvoted when I was only on the first paragraph. That's how quickly I got hooked.

"I shall think about tacos."
Genius.

Bronymind

Bronymind #6 · Jan 15th, 2013 · · ·

Since when does discord want tacos? He wants burritos, if not, add salsa!

lunarstallion

lunarstallion #7 · Jan 15th, 2013 · · ·

Well, that was certainly... unexpected. Not the most random thing I've ever seen, but still pretty damn funny.

Jayellow

Jayellow #8 · Jan 15th, 2013 · · ·

1960776
YES. Someone should totally write that. I would, but I'm trying to focus on my other story right now. It should be called "Tea Time With Discord." Or maybe it could be a late night show spin-off with Pinkie as the host, and the disembodied spirit of Discord as a sort of co-host? I'd read that, for sure.

1963117
Well, shucks. I feel so flattered. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

1964226
Well, I don't think I could write the most random thing ever. As it is, this is about as random as I get. Thanks for the compliment, though!

Sinful Pickle

Sinful Pickle #9 · Jan 16th, 2013 · · ·

lol

Toron and Zeno

Toron and Zeno #10 · Jan 16th, 2013 · · ·

Haha! Okay, that was pretty funny. ^^ The story itself is about as random as Discord is. Next time, might wanna be a bit more descriptive if at all possible, but it was really well done!

Mineingcreeper11

Mineingcreeper11 #11 · Jan 20th, 2013 · · ·

I still wish I knew what a taco was...

abrony-mouse

abrony-mouse #12 · Jan 23rd, 2013 · · ·

loved the way you captured Discord's character

Pick-Six

Pick-Six #13 · Jan 29th, 2013 · · ·

Ah, this gave me a good laugh. This is random done right, and your characterization of Discord was well done. Tacos are awesome.

FlanChan

FlanChan #14 · Jan 29th, 2013 · · ·

Huh, this isn't really a proper story, but I'll attempt a review nonetheless!

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Mostly About Tacos

Grammar: 9

Pros:

For what little you had to work with considering it was just Discord trapped in stone, it was very creative

Original concept (it better be! )

It was hilarious.

Cons:

There are one or two grammar problems (I think I saw once where there was a comma outside of the quotation marks, when it should be inside)

Too short!

I lack a third con

Notes
Well this certainly was... something!
Nevertheless, this story was very funny and I appreciate that you took the time to lengthen it for our enjoyment!

I hope this review has been somewhat helpful! If you could offer the time, I would be very happy if you reviewed my story: The Generation That Even Time Has Forgotten!

Your Faithful Critic,
FlanChan

Aldrigold

Aldrigold #15 · Jan 30th, 2013 · · ·

Well, this will be somewhat tough to review. I'm not very good at comedy, but here goes!

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Mostly About Tacos

Grammar: 9. Watch out for dialogue tag errors.

Pros:

You captured Discord's randomness well

It was humorous

It was original

Cons:

The end was a bit weak

Notes

This little bit of comedy started off really strong in the beginning, but near the end it left me scratching my head a little. It was still random, but the comedy had tapered off to one or two jokes-Discord's itchy nose and his going to get a taco. Those are good jokes, but perhaps some more humor could be injected at the end?

Also I wasn't clear on who the fillies were who were fighting and freeing him in the last paragraph, and some of the details were left out at the very end (you say he just got free somehow) which left me confused. It was as if the momentum was lost when you got to the "real world." Just keep up more the funny randomness in those scenes while still anchoring the reader, and I think it will be better. Maybe make a bigger deal out of his being free, like everyone is terrified and Celestia is mustering an army, and then he just goes and gets a taco. I think that would be funnier.

I hope this helped!

Jayellow