Delicacy
Rainbow knocked on the library door. She knew she shouldn’t have flown off like that yesterday. It wasn’t fair to Twilight, but she had just felt so trapped in that tiny examination room with its stupid walls and stupid ceiling. Instinct had taken over when she heard the diagnosis. She felt really dumb. She should have recognized the signs and knew what was going on instead of thinking she was just sick or something. But she hadn’t because she never took the time to take a second and just think. She really disliked that about herself. She wished she was more like Twilight and for the thousandth time or so wondered why she couldn’t be. No pony had answered the library door. Maybe Twilight wasn’t home. Rainbow hoped she hadn’t stayed out all night or something crazy looking for her. She felt even worse thinking about that. She knocked again just in case.
The door opened and she was face to face with Twilight for the first time since yesterday, and she realized two things. First, she had to come clean... about everything. Second, she had no idea how to even start. The only word she could think of to describe how she felt was humiliation—complete and utter humiliation. She owed Twilight honesty, though.
“Rainbow?” The lavender unicorn said quietly. “I—” She began after a short pause but stopped again.
“Hey, Twi.” The pegasus tried to summon a smile but couldn’t muster one. “The doctor wanted me to thank you for getting me to come back.”
“You went back?”
“Yeah. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I hadn’t seen you because I’m a big coward.” Might as well start with the truth.
Twilight paused considering Rainbow’s words. Finally, she stepped to the side without a word letting the pegasus come inside.
“Thanks,” Rainbow said.
Twilight shut the door and asked Rainbow to have a seat. “Why are you here?” she asked once the pegasus was settled.
“It’s time for our cooking stuff.” She berated herself instantly inside her own head. That wasn’t what she intended to say. She intended to say she was sorry and ask for a chance to explain herself. She felt ashamed that she couldn’t find the courage to do it because she had never seen herself as somepony lacking courage.
Twilight blinked at her. “Really? We’re just going to... I have no idea how... You ran away from me!” She sat on the sofa but did so positioned as far away from the pegasus as possible.
It was time for the pegasus to pony up and get it over with. Rainbow knew that Twilight was probably going to be even madder after she confessed, but she didn’t want to prolong the pain. Like she had told Twi the day before, you just jump in headfirst to avoid psyching yourself out.
“I got something to say before we do anything or you say anything else, okay?” Rainbow began. It was phrased as a question, but it was really more a statement. She didn’t give Twilight a chance to do more than nod before launching into it. “I lied. I shouldn’t have, but I did.” After that, all her prepared words fled her brain, so she was stuck. She sat there tongue frozen. She dared to glance at Twilight.
The unicorn raised an eyebrow at her. “About what, Rainbow?”
“Um... stuff.” She was trying to figure out how to say it, but Twilight needed to give her time.
The unicorn didn’t pick up on Rainbow’s silent plea. “You ran away from me, and I’m very upset about that, and now you come in here and tell me you’ve been lying to me but won’t say about what?”
Rainbow could feel the fury in Twilight’s words. “I’ll say. I’m trying.”
Twilight’s mouth was set in an angry line. She tapped her hoof waiting.
“I was embarrassed, okay?”
“So you ran away?”
“No, before that.”
Twilight had a look of pure confusion. “I don’t understand.”
Rainbow sighed. “When you asked if I was pregnant or something, I hadn’t thought of it because I don’t know what I did that night exactly. I had like two ciders, and somehow I end up wobbling around like I had two barrels of cider. How could I get drunk on two ciders? That’s not even possible.”
Twilight quickly responded. “Yes, it is possible due to your medical condition. Alcohol can play havoc with a pony who hasn’t been taking care of herself properly and is diabetic. It might have been hypoglycemic shock, or it could have been less to do with any alcohol and much more about your general state. There are a number of factors to consider.”
Rainbow blinked in astonishment. She hadn’t considered that. And how had Twilight known that? She looked closely at the unicorn for the first time since Twilight had opened the door. The unicorn looked tired, and she looked like she had been crying. Glancing around the sofa, Rainbow noticed several medical volumes lying open. “Did you stay up all night or something reading about this?”
“Yes.” Twilight’s response was curt and cold. “I couldn’t find you, so I thought I should at least arm myself with as much information as possible when or if you ever turned up again. All the doctor gave me was a pamphlet. A pamphlet, Rainbow Dash! How is a pony supposed to fully understand a potentially life-threatening disease with a pamphlet?”
Rainbow reached out to comfort Twilight, but the unicorn pulled back defensively. Rainbow dropped her hoof to her side. “I know how it works, Twilight. I watched my granny die from this.”
That seemed to give the unicorn pause. She gulped and looked at her friend worriedly.
Rainbow took the opportunity to continue. “I know that earth ponies and unicorns don’t get this and not a lot of pegasi get it either, but it sorta runs in my family. Not a lot of us but a few.” She took a deep breath. “I should have thought of it when I started feeling moody and when I felt like I was going to pass out after half a cider.”
“Half a cider? I thought you said two ciders?”
“I kept going because... because I don’t want to be weak,” Rainbow replied bitterly.
“That is so incredibly stupid.” Twilight was shaking she was so angry. It was no more than Rainbow deserved.
Rainbow totally got where Twilight’s anger came from and even agreed with it. She really did get it. She tapped into anger every day to get her through all the challenges in her life. Despite wanting to comfort Twilight and despite feeling guilty as sin, she couldn’t stop herself from responding to her friend’s anger with her own. After all, she was the one that wasn’t ever going to be a Wonderbolt now. “Yeah? No kidding, Twilight. I get it! I’m dumb. You’re smart. I lied, okay? I lied because I was embarrassed!” Rainbow was only barely aware that she was now crying.
Twilight sat there torn between anger and concern.
Rainbow didn’t care. “I don’t know if I slept with Cool Breeze, okay? Yes, I actually do remember his name. I remember him helping me out of the bar, and I remember him trying to figure out where I lived, but I couldn’t answer because I’m pretty sure by now you’re right and I was going into shock, alright? I remember eating some oranges when he finally took me to his place, and I remember waking up. I get I was lucky. That’s it! That’s all I got, okay? I don’t know if I slept with him because I panicked just like yesterday. I flew away as fast as I could and I haven’t looked back!”
Twilight blinked. “Have you considered that he might be concerned?”
That shocked Rainbow. “No. I hadn’t.”
“Have you considered he might have tried looking everywhere for you? Have you considered he asked everypony he knew if they had seen you but he didn’t want to say you had just been diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening disease without okaying it with you first, so everypony probably thought he was crazy?!?!”
What? Rainbow was very confused.
Twilight continued at a scream. “Did you ever think maybe he was worried and confused because maybe he figured out after spending that time alone with you that maybe he has feelings for you and it’s really confusing and probably inappropriate and part of him is terrified that he’s going to screw up our friendship and part of him wants to say to Tartarus with it and throw himself at you because I think you’re fun and beautiful and kind and caring and—” Twilight’s eyes went wide and she clamped her mouth shut.
Rainbow sat there staring at her friend. She was not a pony known for understatement, or she might have responded by saying that this was unexpected. Stupidly, all she could muster was a strangled “Whu?”
Twilight was shaking again. “Get. Out.”
For the first time in a long while, the pegasus saw a clear path. Maybe it was the insulin kicking in. “Okay,” she said.
Twilight’s eye twitched, but Rainbow didn’t give her time to continue.
“I’m going to go outside and sit beside the door. I’m not running away from you. You’re my friend. I didn’t know you feel the way you feel, but I’m not running away. I’ll sit there for a minute or an hour or a week until you come outside and tell me you want to talk or never want to see me again, okay?”
Twilight gave a jerk of her head, which Rainbow took as a nod of agreement. She got up, wiped the tears from her own eyes, walked outside closing the door and sat down beside it. She settled in to wait as long as she needed.
***
After a little more than an hour, Rainbow began doubting the wisdom of her plan. It had seemed like a great idea. She would show Twilight how much she valued her friendship, and that she could be relied upon. What she hadn’t counted on was how much she hated sitting in one place with nothing to do for any length of time. Occasionally, a passerby would look at her curiously ramping up her edginess, but she played it off with a casual wave and nod. The secret was to always play it cool.
Of course that brought up the problem of how to play it cool when one of your best friends had just accidentally confessed a crush. Part of her wished that Twilight had confessed a crush on Applejack or Rarity or any other pony alive. Part of her preened at the thought that yet another pony had fallen for The Dash’s charms which admittedly was inevitable after spending time alone with her. Part of her was flat-out terrified because Twilight Sparkle was amazingly smart, stupidly talented, and had the whole Hot, Shy Librarian look going for her. If anypony was out of her league with the exception of the royal sisters, it was Twilight Sparkle.
Dash’s eyes widened and her stomach lurched at that last thought. Could she feel something for Twilight, or was it just a random hormone surge because the unicorn was attracted to her? This is too much. First, I’m diagnosed with a stupid disease that ends my chance at being a Wonderbolt before I even get to try, and now at the single worst possible time I need to be gentle and considerate and careful? I’m The Rainbow Dash. Do any of those words apply to me? Like ever? Rainbow was considering hitting her head against the library until she knocked herself unconscious when fate or Celestia or some other divine, merciful power took pity on her. The door opened, and Twilight stood there being all vulnerable and sad. She couldn’t look the pegasus in the eye and stared at her own feet. Rainbow hated seeing her friend so upset, but instinctively she knew that she had to let the unicorn take the lead on this.
Quietly, Twilight asked, “Would you like to come back in? We should discuss this.” She emphasized her last sentence by waving a hoof in the air.
“Yeah, Sure,” Rainbow responded with an equally low voice. She got to her hooves and followed her friend inside as Twilight closed the door behind them with her magic.
Twilight stopped in front of the sofa and Rainbow stopped as well trying to give her any space she might need without appearing as if she were avoiding her friend. Not for the first time in her life, the pegasus thought about how frustrating and difficult this friendship gig was. She watched Twilight nervously glance back and forth between her own hooves and Rainbow. For her part, Rainbow struggled against feeling overwhelmed by discomfort and concentrated on staying still and most definitely not flying away as far and as fast as possible to get away from these feelings of vulnerability. She was the element of loyalty. She would not do that to Twilight again.
“So,” Twilight began obviously searching for words. “Can I make you an omelet?”
Rainbow nodded before realizing that Twilight was looking anywhere except at her. “Yeah,” she said recovering. “That would be great.”
Twilight tried to give a smile and failed. “I’ve been practicing. I—I hope you don’t mind.” Her voice trembled.
“Of course not!” Rainbow exclaimed louder than she meant to do. That was all she intended to say, but feelings of panic took hold and she quickly went on although in a more normal tone. “I think it’s really cool that you take this so seriously. I... I really appreciate that, you know? I mean it, Twi. I really do.” Oh sweet Celestia above, she thought to herself, I’m gonna ramble like a foal hopped up on too many sweets. She couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I’m more of a ‘throw yourself at it and hope for the best’ type, but I think your way of planning things out is good, too. I don’t think I let you know that like I should have.” She could not shut up. Why can I not shut up? Was her mouth disconnected from her brain? She was starting to wonder if she even had a brain. “If this stuff is going to work out I mean, it won’t be because of me. It’ll be because of you. You’re smart and honestly you’ve been better at the loyalty stuff lately than I have, too. What I’m trying to say is... um... um... I’m going to practice more too. The cooking. You know? Yeah. That’s it.” She needed to ask Pinkie Pie how she managed to stay even slightly coherent when she rambled because this was humiliating. “If you want me to practice that is. Maybe you don’t even want to do this stuff anymore.”
Twilight for her part seemed a bit stunned and only blinked.
After a couple moments of silence, Rainbow continued because as she saw it anything at all was better than silence. “I don’t mean that you aren’t dedicated, and I’m not calling you a quitter. I didn’t mean that! I mean it’s just that I’m not sure I’m worth all the junk, and I get that it’s hard and I get that I’ve been really weird and I’m sorry.” Maybe Fluttershy had the right idea moving away from everypony and hiding out. Even dealing with that rabbit of hers had to be better than acting like a stuttering fool.
Thankfully, Twilight interrupted the babbling pegasus. “Rainbow!”
At her name, the pegasus finally managed to turn off the spigot. She shifted uncomfortably waiting for judgement.
Twilight sighed. “Let me just cook you an omelet, please? Have you set up a schedule for your meds and your meals?”
Rainbow shook her head. “I came straight here after going to the doc.”
“Oh.”
“I know I don’t really deserve it, but would you help me with a schedule? I look at charts and my eyes cross.”
“I can do that, Rainbow. Let’s eat first, though.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Do you think I should just do it myself? I mean learn to do the scheduling?”
Twilight hesitated. The lavender unicorn scrunched her nose a bit, which Rainbow recognized as Twilight considering how to word something diplomatically. It was a skill she wished she could figure out for herself. “Yes,” Twilight finally responded. “You should learn, but I don’t think just trying to do it on your own when your health is at stake is the best way to go about it.”
“You mean you don’t mind helping me?”
Rainbow’s heart lurched at the sad look that overcame Twilight. “I’ll help. I’m not sure how much I can help, though. I feel... raw.”
Rainbow nodded, and they went into the kitchen. Rainbow sat at the counter while Twilight cracked the eggs into the skillet. She must have been practicing a lot in the past few days because she would had been hopeless even at this stage when they first started. Or maybe she wasn’t overthinking this because she had other worries. The pegasus sighed. Those worries of course were caused by a certain weather pony who had screwed things up.
Twilight added mushrooms and cheese and some mild peppers and folded the omelet as she slid it onto the plate. The omelet fold wasn’t right, but Rainbow certainly wasn’t going to complain. It smelled great, too. She waited until Twilight had prepared herself a dish as well. Both ate, and Rainbow at least was thankful to have something to do besides figure out how to go forward. That couldn’t last though. There was only so long you could work on eating an omelet before it became a cold mess or you were finished.
Still, Rainbow wasn’t going to be the first one to speak, and she was glad when Twilight did instead. “I want to keep working on this experiment, Dash.” The cyan pegasus’ heart leapt at her friend’s words. Maybe everything wasn’t a big crash and burn. “It’s difficult and unpredictable, but I think it’s definitely worth the effort. I simply need to learn to manage my expectations.”
She couldn’t figure out if Twilight was talking about her or the cooking. Maybe both she thought. “Sometimes,” Rainbow responded. “Difficult stuff is worth it—like cooking. It’s definitely worth it, you know? I mean sure it’s a pain in the flank most of the time and it gets all screwy the more you try to figure it out, but in the end maybe it’s just one of those things where—” she paused trying to figure out how to say it. “It’s one of those things where you sort of have to get accustomed to how weird it can be before you get the hang of when it’s going to work and when you have to tell it to just shut up because it just acts all unpredictable and wild.” What am I even saying?
Twilight obviously was wondering the same thing as she only squinted at the now sweating pegasus.
“I mean even if you only end up liking to cook casually... um... wait. No. I mean... What do I mean?” Great, Rainbow thought to herself. I’m back to babbling. “Maybe if it’s too hard to be like an expert chef or something or it’s just not worth the effort, then it’s still cool to maybe just like cooking instead of having to love cooking to want to have anything to with it.”
Twilight was still squinting at her. The only difference was now her head was tilted at an angle as if she were staring at some inscrutable puzzle. “Inscrutable” was another word she had picked up from the Daring Do novels. It was strange, she remarked to herself, how she latched onto something insignificant like a vocabulary word when she was going down in flames.
“Right?” Dash asked feebly. It was time to bail out, or at least bail Twilight out before the Rainbow Crash Express met its inevitable, wordy doom. “I should go.” She realized that might look like she was running away again. “I’m not bailing on you. I just think—”
Her friend put a hoof to Rainbow’s mouth to silence her. “We still need to fix your schedule.”
Rainbow nodded, and Twilight took her hoof away before continuing. “Rainbow, I will admit that cooking is rather unpredictable, but I think I’m perhaps starting to anticipate there will be surprises. I don’t know to be quite honest how things will work themselves out, but so far I think cooking is worth a chance at the very least.” She looked down, and Rainbow could see her cheeks color slightly. “I think I still may love to cook, but you might be right I suppose. I might decide that I only like cooking. I think I need time to figure that out.”
The pegasus felt like a weight was lifted from her. She was mostly sure they weren’t actually talking about being in a kitchen, but she had done enough thinking for one day from her point of view. It was better to just take it as it was and figure it out later if she was even capable of that. “Yeah, I think your plan is what’s best.”
Twilight gave her the first warm smile of the encounter. It was more than Rainbow felt she deserved. Then the unicorn floated over a quill and some parchment and began putting together a schedule for her making sure to take into account the documentation the doctor had given Rainbow. The only problem for Rainbow was that Twilight kept putting practice flying into the schedule when there wasn’t a point anymore. Finally, she couldn’t take it.
“Twi,” she said interrupting the unicorn’s pleasant chatter as she moved sections of the pegasus’ day around. “I don’t need to keep practicing tricks. It’s... there isn’t a point, you know?” The words were hard and Rainbow Dash fought back the stupid tears that threatened to take the last of her dignity away.
Twilight facehooved herself. “Oh,no! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry, Rainbow. I was upset and it just slipped my mind. The doctor spoke to me about the Wonderbolts, and how pegasus society has had problematic views on ponies with your condition.”
Rainbow looked away. “Yeah, it isn’t something to be proud of I know.”
“No, Dash, you misunderstand. I think it’s completely unfair and backwards to treat ponies that way, so I started researching last night to build a case for an appeal.”
“An appeal? For me?”
Twilight nodded fully in lecture mode now. “Yes, but it’s unnecessary. The Wonderbolts dropped the policy almost half a decade ago. It wasn’t widely publicized I assume due to it being ridiculously ignorant. There’s even been a Wonderbolt who has the disease. I believe her name is Cloud Dancer. Does that sound familiar?” she asked.
Rainbow knew every Wonderbolt who had flown in the past few decades. She nodded. “Yeah. I remember her! She was really cool and could create multiple, small localized wind funnels that shaped the clouds on the fly into sculptures while maintaining her speed. I think she retired two years ago. She was really cool, though.”
That was when what Twilight was saying actually dawned on her. “You mean... You mean I have a chance?”
The unicorn smiled and nodded. “Yes, but it won’t be easy. You’ll have to prove you have your condition under complete control. The article I read had a statement from the Wonderbolts saying flyer safety is paramount.”
Rainbow leapt into the air and did a small loop before settling again. “OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!!” she shouted. “I’m going to be a Wonderbolt!” She swooped Twilight into her hooves and flew around the kitchen and out into the main part of the library. “You are so the coolest unicorn ever!” She deposited the blushing unicorn onto the couch. She knew she shouldn’t be so touchy-feely with Twilight because of the romance stuff, but she was just too excited. She had to fly! “Twi, you are the best! I gotta go practice! You mind if I go practice?”
Twilight grinned and waved her on. That was all Rainbow needed as she zoomed out the door and into the sky. Glancing back, she saw her still smiling friend standing in the doorway watching her sail into the clouds. Twilight really was the best, she thought, and the pegasus was going to take the cooking stuff and her friend’s feelings seriously. That was for tomorrow, though. Today she had to fly. Life was awesome she decided even if some stupid disease was trying to ground her.
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... well this just got extremely interesting.
I must've missed the whatever problems the last chapter had, but now this... leaving me with this! You are diabolical! Just kidding, seriously looking forward to the rest of this chapter though!
One cliffhanger to another. Fiend.
It's only a cliffhanger until my editor finishes with the chapter. As is she's already a bit annoyed with me, but she's agreed to bump it to next in her list. Should be un-cliffhanged in 48 hours or so.
Man, this is incredibly good. Because of all the tension, humor, and drama, it really feels like you're building a relationship here, and not just a 'ship, if that makes sense. I'm a little annoyed by Rainbow Dash being so promiscuous, because that's been done a lot and feels like the "easy mode" to writing her love life. However, that is outweighed by how pleased I am that you made her bisexual, with a preference for males, since that is my preferred interpretation. Making her 100% gay just feels too... obvious, you know? Just don't have anyone do any bisexual-erasing and say "welp, guess she was gay all along!" if she ends up with Twilight. Attraction doesn't go away just because you're in a committed relationship with one gender.
Anyway, Twilight's reaction to all of the revelations in chapters 3 and 3.5 were superbly written. I really felt for her.
[side note: Personally, I would have made it Type I diabetes, because that can happen to anyone, but I have no real issue with that twist. One of my best friends, who is incredibly active and used to be president of my school's MMA club, has Type I, and it really sucks to see how much he has to regulate his life compared to us. Either way, I can totally sympathize with Rainbow's situation.]
Wow. This romantic comedy turned a complete 180 and became a romantic drama in the last chapter and a half. Not at all what I was expecting with this fic, but I am enjoying it.
Twilight should have spent less time reading about pegasus diabetes and more reading "Romance For Silly Ponies: How To Admit Your Lesbian Crush To Your Best Friend: Revised Edition".
I like this story. Although I was a little worried with the pregnancy stuff, I was really surprised with what you delivered, it's not something you see everyday. Anyways, keep going! I'm eager to see how this develops
2057613
It's a bit of a tricky road. Subversion of expectations is a major tool for a writer to generate suspense, but sometimes the reader doesn't feel the author-reader trust compact is strong enough to see how the subversion turns out.
2057723
It's sometimes triggered by poor diet but there is often a genetic component as well. It’s also one that people think is curable although not really. It’s much more easily controlled by diet, which should be a hint hopefully that the situation won’t be as dire as it might seem at first.
(Pardon my stupidness for not knowing how to reply)
), but you gave me a good surprise. I tip my hat to you sir 
)
Yeah, what worried me the most was that those kind of topics aren't exactly my cup of tea (you should have seen my reaction when the doctor gave the results
Well, we'll see how this chapter turns out. I do have confidence in this story.
2061857 Actually, the problem I had was the alcohol, the fact that Rainbow got drunk to do something to make the possibility of the pregnancy to be viable, and the sexual deviance in itself. I've had enough experience with that in my own life for that to bother me.
Sorry, I just prefer my ponies to be somewhat innocent and non-sexual. Simple sex/alcohol references and jokes are alright, but when it gets somewhat heavy, It bothers me. Simply a personal preference.
Okay. My beautiful, lovely, patient editor has finished, and here is Chapter 4 in its edited entirety. Hopefully, it's worth the wait and the trouble!
MOAR!
please?
Ok, very nice. I love the direction you are taking this.
Author Existence Failure?
I gotta know... Where is the end going to be on this?
Do you have one?
I mean, it seems you went from comedy to tragedy in the blink of an eye. Not a bad fic, though. Not bad at all.
~Skeeter The Lurker
... Is this story dead?
Dead story makes me sad.