• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 19th, 2015

The Mysterious N


T
Source

After having her first relationship end on a sour note, a dejected and emotionally confused Twilight returns to Ponyville. Rainbow Dash soon realizes something is wrong and comforts Twilight. Helping deal with Twilight's problems, Rainbow becomes a shoulder to cry on, a Guardian Angel of sorts. As Twilight recovers, the two mares find themselves learning more about themselves and each other.

A TwiDash "song-fic" with an interesting take on Rainbow Dash.

Inspired by various songs, including some really amazing community creations.

Chapters (16)
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Comments ( 174 )

i liked it, the reaction was good and i say that knowing somewhat what twi is going through
the only real difference is that me and my ex are still friends
so all in all i liked and it flows well
keep up the good work, i shall be watching with interest

This has potential. We'll see how they interact before I pass judgement. But have a thumb up until then.

Also added to Twidash group, so you can get some more "screen time."

Good start

Bit too much calling Rainbow Dash "Dash" though. It isn't too bad in narration, but remember that the only character in the show to call her that was gilda.

I'm always skeptical about the idea of ponies playing instruments, without advanced manipulation (magic, or pegasi wings), it always comes out awkward when trying to explain it, like the sentence "Her hooves continued to manipulate the strings, the melody continuing to echo as the sun continued to rise." I have trouble telling if you mean strumming, or actual chord work, which would be damn near impossible for even some of the most basic chords without those manipulation techniques. It makes for a cool mental image, Rainbow Dash playing guitar, but when you get down to the mechanics of it, it's a messy ordeal. Still, this isn't the focus, and I'm officially overthinking things, but right now it's had a rather interesting start, and I want to see where this ends up.

To be honest, it sounds like they had a couple of dates, an argument, sort of made up, kept working on the project pretending to keep the thing going and then went their separate ways. To me, it hardly sounds like a relationship had time to be formed. It definitely does not sound like a bad breakup.

Still going to track though, story seems interesting enough for it. Dash is actually the youngest in my headcanon, but I am going to see where you are going with a more mature Dash.

1931664

I tend to get nitpicky with the whole using their hooves thing too. But then I go back and watch the Gala episode and see Octavia playing the cello with her hooves and think, "Well there is that, so whatever..."

And I assume RD is using her hoof like a guitar pick:rainbowhuh:

This is progressing along nicely, and the pacing is very comfortable to follow. I'm looking forward to more. :twilightsmile:

Looks promising. I'll be back when read.

You are working with a very bold idea here my friend. I am liking it and your more mature Dashie quite a bit. Can't wait to see more.

Very good idea, very well written, I'm curious about one thing though

A few months ago, Twilight hadn't really cared for making friends.

When does this story take place?

1931609
Thanks. More "screen time" is always nice.

1931638
Yeah, I have realized I do that. Thanks for pointing that out.

1933263
To be honest, I really haven't thought that through very well. I'm guessing somewhere during season 2 or so. Before Canterlot wedding for sure. I'd like it to feel like Twilight has had time to integrate into Ponyville and strengthen her friendships.

1931733
Yeah, I feel this part is a bit on the weaker side. I personally don't have a lot of experience with relationships. Or writing them as a matter of fact. Most of my previous writing was more action/adventure, and usually for school projects. This is really my first time dabbling in a story with some romance. I'm quite enjoying writing this though.

1931664
Personally, I find technology in Equestria to be strange. In some ways I find the tech to be way ahead of today's standards, in other cases, it's severely lacking. Also Pinkie play multiple instruments with ease, though that just could be her Pinkieness. I'll give it some more thought and see if I can't explain the guitar a bit more.

As always, thanks for reading. I'm really happy to have such good reception. Thanks guys and gals. /)

I wanted to ask about longer chapters but...but the length seems to right lol, weird

anyway, hope this story will surprise us/me with something new and fun to read, looking forward to it

Potential is the word I use at the moment for this story. I do enjoy TwiDash and a more mature Dash is something I can see working well.

Definitely going to be keeping this story tracked and you have my upvote for a good read so far!

Looking forward to more.

Interesting stuff with the guitar explanation. Personally I didn't really think it was needed, these ponies seem to do things with their hooves that should be impossible all the time, but it was still pretty cool. I like seeing Dash as older than the others, it changes her character a bit, but it's still clearly Rainbow Dash. I really hope you continue with the musical theme for RD, and I'm hoping that at some point Twilight will hear her play(hopefully an actual brony song again, since that first chapter introduced me to Bronyfied and now I absolutely love his stuff).

I just found this story today, before you uplaoded this chapter. I loved it then, and now that you added this chapter I love it more. This story is very promising, aside from the promise of twidash, the original reason I found this story. Looking forward to the next chapter.

5/5 moustaches. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

You didn't have to explain why is she able to play guitar

because when someone is trying to do so (explain) it seems as if they feel the idea is not 100% cool/okay/thought well :p

otherwise well...waiting for stuff to happen ; p can't wait ! (in a good way)

I never thought of Rainbow as thoughtless, but rather that she has poor judgment when it comes to things she thinks she knows, especially other ponies feelings. Assuming Rainbow is dumb, or incapable of higher reasoning is simply judgment we place on her, and, well, that's something you should think about if you haven't (just a general statement for nopony in particular.):heart::rainbowderp::heart:

1941890

With all due respect, I disagree. It shows that the author thought of every detail down to the letter. If he or she is able to explain it with something plausible, I'm all for it. Hell, Star Trek used to explain their science and then stopped which put a lot of viewers off.

1942015

yea i mean i want to know whats going on, but in this case...well to be honest "no explanation" would be better

in treki i understand and it was of course nice, but here? she plays a guitar, its okay i can belive she can, we saw ponies do some other "incredible" stuff with hooves in the show, just roll with it. Thats all i meant by mu comment, and of course thats just my point of view.

I totally understand if ppl like to explain "sillines" of the show, or even roll with it and pretend that ponies just can't do some stuff (but guitars exists because lets say gryphons can play them)

well, sorry for my english, not my first language. I try to learn as best as i can. And hope i won't offend anyone with my opinion

1941036
You will not be disappointed. I have plenty of song ideas lined up. We'll definitely have more Rainbow playing the guitar in the future, once Twilight starts getting her feelings in order. Thanks for the review.

1941890
Honestly, I felt like that at first. After thinking about how to explain the playing, I got the idea for the "cloud strings" and I just couldn't get it out of my head. I actually really enjoyed thinking up a plausible explanation for the guitar-play. Thanks for reading.

1941908
Yeah this has been one of the more prominent thoughts in my head when writing this. Rainbow seems to be the kind of pony who has a "shoot first" philosophy. Her youth and inexperience contributes to this as well. That's why I had her go through a couple of years of college, and to be a bit older, to help her mature and learn. Honestly I was a lot like Rainbow, I just really didn't care about the "adult stuff", it was really all about having fun. Graduation and my ongoing college studies have helped me mature, as I feel they've done for Rainbow Dash. Thanks for reviewing.

1942015
I agree. Having explained the guitar play, I feel like I have a better focus. I just feel more invested and fulfilled, knowing that a somewhat-loophole has been fixed thanks to some creative thinking. As a IT student, and dealing with complex machinery on a daily basis, I kind of like the idea of a plausible explanation, even though some things should be left alone. Thanks.

As always Thank you guys and gals so much. This story is one of the more fun things I've done in the recent while. If someone told me I'd be writing MLP fanfiction at one point in my life, I'd have laughed. Now it's one of my favorite things to do.

See you guys next chapter, Nuuk.

Good chapter!:twilightsmile: looking forward to more!

Really liking how this is turning out. While I agree that Dash does seem to be a bit more out of character, you do well on bringing forth to light a quality that's rarely explored of her character in the show, the fact that she'd be there for her friends, through thick and thin, and for that, I can forgive the OOC-ness of this portrayal (because while it's your preferred portrayal, it is still out of character for the Dash we know and love, though I'm not saying that in this case that it's a bad thing).

Also I'm very much satisfied with the mechanics of guitar play in the last chapter. Good work with that!

well the feels in that last bit of the chapter were great and i really loved how you showed twilight's emotions and realisation in there great work

1945436
I wanted to do something different with Rainbow. She's still the Rainbow Dash we all know and love at her core, but more relaxed and I guess "aged".:rainbowderp: She's also more thoughtful and has less of a tendency to rush decisions. We'll see more of her speed demon soon. Thanks for the review.

1945802
That's great to hear. I've never written "the feels" before so I was a nervous wreck while writing/posting this. Thanks.:twilightsmile:

~Nuuk.

Wait, What ?
How could I not give a thumb up after this chapter ?
Someone who like Queen deserve all of my "YES" :rainbowdetermined2:
A good chapter since I feel sad and after re re reading with the song in my ears I feel even more sad.:fluttershbad:
So good job and good luck with the next chapter, I'm curious to see when( and how) the spark ( or when you pull the trigger on the twidash romance) will begin.

Ps: My favourite Queen song is "The show must go on" :twilightsmile:

Cédric

you did a really good job and i can't wait for more.

Yaaay! Finally another author who utilizes the fact that ponies can sing (and really well too)! Great chapter, can't wait for more.

PS: Queen is best band and my favourite song is "Don't Stop Me Now." :twilightsmile:

D'aaawwwwwww. The song was a brilliant touch! :rainbowkiss::twilightsmile:

1947349
I agree. Queen is still one of the greatest things in music. They have more integrity than most of today's music. I'd take Queen any day over today's "stars". Thanks for reviewing.

1945802
Thanks. I was listening to my iTunes on shuffle and that song happened to pop up. The lyrics just fit and I ended up using the song for the chapter. I'm glad I did, the song just added another level of emotion to the chapter.

1947636
The ponies have amazing singing voices, and have shown it multiple times. I'd really hate to miss out on such a big part of their character. Another good song by Queen, personally I go for the Bohemian Rhapsody.

Thanks for all the kind words everyone.

~Nuuk.

that was good, really good
i think that conveyed the emotion quite well, i could "see" somewhat Twilight's pain and i love what you have done with Dash
keep it up mate keep it up 9.9/10(cause i never give a 10/10, leaves room for improvement)

very good story i personally give 5/5 good job:moustache:

I think so far you have done a great job! Keep up the good work! My only suggestion is make the chapters a wee bit longer.:derpyderp1::derpytongue2::rainbowkiss:

good so far lets see where this goes.

This Chapter
i45.tinypic.com/14kaatf.jpg

I wish i could give it more likes though...:twilightsmile:

1952023
Thanks. Glad I managed to convey the feelings Twilight was feeling well.
1953421
Thanks. Working on the chapter lengths, it's a bit difficult though.
1955190
Awesome, made my day. I've got the silliest grin on my face now.

Thanks again everypony.
~Nuuk.

Well done. I enjoyed myself there.

looks good, well paced, the emotions seemed right
twi's reaction to talking about things was great

Dang, you got these last two chapters out quick (certainly not a complaint) Loving the story so far, especially the idea of a musically talented Dashie:rainbowkiss:

1957018
Well I DID have today off. Also confessions was posted just after midnight here. I really enjoy writing this. It's great fun. Thanks for the review.

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. Don't hesitate to point out mistakes and the like. I'm open to learning and improving. Your comments and positive words definitely fuel me.

~Nuuk.

"…her curiosity had peaked…" I believe "her curiosity had been piqued" is the phrase.

1958047
I do believe you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. It has been fixed.
~Nuuk.

I know there are a bunch of different songs that could go with this story (a great story by the way, I really enjoyed this chapter), but I just happened to be listening to this song while reading and it seemed to fit (for me, at least). Can't wait to see where this goes!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=uK6mSbi5CFs]

ow ow! this was beautiful, i can barely bring myself to write a 1000 word chapter XD

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