Fluttershy believed in kindness since she was just a filly. She loved her parents and they loved her. But when an accident happens at her parents weather work, the filly is left with nothing. Fluttershy has to restart her life and continue on. Along the way, she meets new friends to help. But what happens when she starts to develop feelings for a special somepony? Read what happens when Fluttershy manages to find an apple in a thorn bush in this short love story!
On an author's note, I'd like to give a special thanks to my amazing editor, macaulays!
Chapters (7)
well damn good job for a first fic, faved and thumbed
A proper prologue. Good exposition, thumb, fave, and email reminders. I look forward to what follows!
I liked it, just a few things I'd like to point out...
"Good luck, into being weather manager today." Dude, what?
(~~~*~~~)<---- This. This is an affront to all life. An inhuman contraption that I cannot adequatly sum up in just a few words...
ing love italics.
Remove this beast from your work, you're better than this.
ITALICS That's the way to go with flashbacks!
Anything that's in the past, or in someone's head, use italics, we'll know what you mean. It's actually probably clearer, (~~~*~~~) could mean anything. Italics is internal dialogue or reflection, something involving your main characters thoughts.
I f
Also, your spacing after the first... (~~~*~~~)<---- this thing... sort of messed up a little, you had it spot on previously, but towards the second half, you just stopped, and it turned into a large clusterf
of text.
Finally, it would probably add something to the story if you had made it clear at the very beginning what time era we could expect the story to start in. Of course, you state in the description that it's a fluttermac story. So naturally it's likely to be an adult Fluttershy. Starting with filly Flutters though... It confuses things a bit, I'd advise sticking a bit at the start that shows she's reflecting on the past, rather than halfway through.
It was a nice wee start other than that, I have a large obsession with fluttermac, so I'm very interested where this story will go.
Keep it up man!
Great story but let me point out some things (~~~*~~~) <---- that thing kinda messes up with writing. But great story /) thumbs up!
Thank you guys for the feedback. It really helped. And the (~~~*~~~) will go away, I pinkiepie swear.
Oh, and the spacing in the other half of the story that was
, will be fixed as well.
I forgot to space it out again before I submitted it. I forget things quickly.
Very sweet.
i like it
*squee*
*Clears Throat*
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW
I'm glad you all liked it!
It's not going too fast at all! No true feelings have really been revealed yet (though I do have a pretty good idea
)
Looking forward to your next chapter.
BigMac talks WAY too much!
"eeyup" is the only thing he should really say!
Sooo...CUTE!
Well, Gillface, I don't think much of a relationship can build off of just "eeyup". I was kind of puzzled a bit on how they'd communicate, so throughout the whole story I'm going to limit his talking. Thanks for your concern, though.
Why is this story listed in the latest updates. Did you hit publish instead of save?
I might've. Sorry, I'm still getting used to this.
The problem is that the update might not show up in peoples dashboard, and they won't be informed about the update when it is published. I am trying to track down the cause of this problem and I think this might be it.
Oh my, that is a problem.
Well if it happens to you I will be sure about what is causing it, and I can report it as a bug.
Okay, well thank you AndersW!
If it turn's out that is the cause I will let you know and you should report it as well.
I will! I appreciate it!
You know I like the way you described how Fluttershy feels,So,keep up the good work
a
I hope you finish the next chapter soon!
Thank you so much Dashie 347! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
farm2.staticflickr.com/1060/5124699989_a414738d44_z.jpg
Could you find a way to convey a change of scene better, like a horizontal line across the page. That would make it easier to follow.
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I'll try! Sorry it's a bit confusing!
Excellent! I like the pace you're going at. Slowly evolving feelings and lots of introspection. I like it!
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I'm glad you said that. I always worry that I might be writing it too fast when it comes to romance. Thank you.
The quality continues to be top notch. The call backs to her parents are nice an subtle, not smashing us in the head with them.
As always I eagerly await more!
Great job.
You capture Fluttershy's inner monologue excellently. And the story is blossoming at a decent pace.
Keep writing please
On a more technical note (and I HATE being that guy), near the beginning of this chapter you have Pinky eating sugar "out of the palm of her hand"...I'd change that.
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Thank you so much for your kind comment! And also thank you for mentioning that "hand" thing. I really need to look over what I write before submitting.
I think it had a great ending! I can't wait to see what happens next!
Keep up the good work. I think the ending is fine. I was worried at the title of the chapter but I see what you did there.
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Haha, thanks.
This... I enjoyed this. :)
Twilight thinks wrong...Why would she say the word Lust?
No offense at all, I'm sure you're very smart, and it's a great story
but you have quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes... may I suggest getting an editor.
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Thank you, for both your comment and concern. I think I will get one.
Lust doesn't always mean something sexual. It can be a powerful desire.
FlutterMac is best ship!
This is great!
FlutterMac is best ship!
Just a few grammar mistakes here and there.
Addition to Author's Note:
I'd like to thank macaulays so much for editing!
oh this is so not going to end well with Milky
luckily Big Mac is going to help her out
2024040 or is it? DUN DUN DUUUUUN
Okay, I am kind of a derp
, but who exactly is Milky Way again? Sorry... 
2095407
Haha. It's fine. Milky hasn't really been introduced that well yet. In the show he's just a background pony. But in this story, he's a close friend of fluttershy that lives mostly in Cloudsdale. More will be explained in future chapters. Don't want to give out and spoilers