IHateBronies
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fyi: the pace will pick up with the next chapter.
Your chapters are too short. Many will instantly dislike a story just because the chapters are sub-one thousand words in length. Aim for a twelve hundred minimum.
EDIT:
Quite frankly, this is pretty well written (and by that I mean grammar-wise, I personally felt a little bit sick in the gut from reading this. Which, I assume, is good.) I noticed one or two minor errors, but aside from that it's not...poorly written.
Though you're still gonna garner hate from the short chapters and the ripping-off of a very infamous gore-fic (even if only for satirical purposes).
I am both offended and disgusted, yet I will favorite this because I am a glutton for punishment.
I smell Sweet Apple Massacre rip-off.
1887742
Thanks for the advice, I think I will consolidate the first two chapters into one, the next chapter is in the works and will be much longer overall anyway.
1887813
someone didn't read the authors note.
1887845
Who even reads?
Nah, I liked your stuff.
1887845 You're welcome
Dah fauq did I i just read ?
I dunno but I think I like it
proceed
where is the next chapter?
1965552
By the end of the month, I only write when I'm extremely bored but have set a deadline because I otherwise would never finish it. If I finish it before the end of the month I will post it then.
all those who thumbs it down are contradicting themeselfs like seriusly if you didnt like it why are you still reading it
You've not read it? Good for you. Not many gory fics can disturb me, but that particular one REALLY does. Do NOT read it.
No, Mac, no, NO! Not the fillies! Fluttershy, maybe, but not the fillies!
WRITE MORE!!
WRITE MORE!!
I'M A TWISTED FUCK WHO WANTS MOAR!
Rip-Off of something really nasty. This gets the LJN stamp of death.
But when does the rape start?
That one... Sweet Apple Massacre... I read 1 and 2. I'm a bucking horrible person.
I'm a horrible person.
Why am I still here?
I know why. For the same reason I read Sweet Apple Massacre.
When I start, I can't stop 'till I finish it.
This doesn't have rape or gore in it, are you trying to get downvotes?
Also, this shit is fantastic and desperately needs to be continued, unf.
Does anyone else expect the Crusaders, or at least Scootaloo, to turn out less naive than they let on after this?
3858490
Mother of Celestia, there was a second one?! Why?!
3858494
like watching a train wreck...then when no one is looking going through the wallets of the deceased.
5487353
Because there are sick people out there....
What the fuck robin?
You say I regret nothing but after this I regret everything imaginable. probly gunna take my life