- Member Since 3rd Jun, 2012
- offline last seen Jul 21st, 2014
D4RTH4NN3
I'm a bisexual atheist from texas suffering from how lame life is and how awesome I am in comparison. (that's a joke...you can laugh now...)
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Hilarious! I like the ending with Applebloom!
2763135 Thanks!
it's one of the best foalcon clopfics I've ever read
Awesome clopfic
2763479 Thanks!
*drools*
2766859 Exactly
2769060 Mysterious mystery person
You should not dabble in things until you know all the risks.
There aren't enough H&A's to express my feelings on this :3
I feel like this story would have been pretty good if it wasn't executed so poorly. The chapter is riddled with grammatical mistakes, most of them simple stuff like not changing paragraphs for new speakers and other such stuff, and, outside of sparse spacing, is just one long-ass wall of text. The interactions are choppy, even for a clop-fic, and don't fit with the characters. There's a seriously bad case of 'telling', even for a second-person fic, but otherwise it's... okay at best. The story itself was, in no way, mindblowing.
3089513 Thanks for letting me know
I'll go through it and fix it
3091002 Somebody with a brain! Commendation for you.
I actually find your take on this not bad, the plot was good, but like the others said, your grammar, your take on the characters, the build-up and the storytelling was just...not good.
You have a good story, you just need a lot more practice, but all in all, I love the story, not the storytelling,
I'm sure your fic would have been awesomely cool once you fix it up and BAM!
I'm sorry, I'm rambly.
3398805 Thanks for the feedback
This, this shit was legit.
3599287 Why thank you good sir/madame