Everything about the day was going to be sheer perfection. A wedding more sublime than any fairy tale. Bouquets of purple roses were hung on every pillar in the castle with utmost care. Swaths of cream cloth draped gently down the halls. The finest chefs in the country were brought in to cater to the hundreds of guests. Every floor tile was washed, shined, buffed, waxed, washed again, then thrown out and replaced with brand new tiles. They even had hired a boy band to play the reception, not even one of the groups that was on the downslope that nobody remembered. (I’m looking at you, 98 Degrees.)
Every pony in the kingdom was buzzing with excitement over the most spectacular wedding in centuries. Foreign dignitaries and ambassadors were sailing from miles around to witness it (Excluding the minotaurs and griffons, who for some reason had a historical hatred for pink princesses). Ponies from every caste, hob-nobbers or dirt-nobbers, had received invitations. Even I had a letter jammed into my petrified, screaming mouth.
Did I mention that I broke out of stone briefly about a year ago? No? Eh, don’t feel left out. It was nothing much to talk about.
An interesting transformation had come over the blushing bride-to-be over the years leading up to this moment. She had become more patient with others, even respectful of them. Getting whatever she wanted was no longer her highest priority, showing off a compassionate and even selfless side. Emotions and mood swings were kept more firmly in check. Monogamy was no longer the dirty word it had been a thousand years ago.
Princess Cadence was settling down.
Preparing for the wedding wasn’t even getting her as riled up as most expected. Harmony was nearly brought to tears in pride and joy. Frankly, I was supremely let down. I place all the blame directly on her little wedding planner. The way she would cackle wildly in private seemed like a hint something fun was going to happen soon. And the way she silently stood over Cadence in her sleep, mouth held wide open with fangs bared to the world, I thought there was going to be something seriously fun. But nothing. Nada. Zip. El Zilcho.
I zoned in and out over the weeks watching more interesting stuff, like a dragon terrorizing a town, hurricanes, and time travel shenanigans. I only finally started paying attention to Brother Love again when the wedding was just a few days away. And I must have missed some serious action, because I come back to see every one of Celestia’s toy soldiers goose-stepping around the castle, an army of bugs hiding behind the top of the mountain, and Cadence, exhausted and powerless, sealed in the Canterlot Caves.
Someone should have probably been watching that.
So Cadence stewed, nearly choking on her own anger, channeling the old, furious Spirit of Love to imagine every sickening torture and gruesome punishment she would inflict on the duplicitous wedding planner who dared to ruin her special day. There would be a few more extra holes when she was finished. She just needed to find a way out of these miserable, soon-to-be-exploded caves.
The only thing that broke the silence in the caves was the intruding voice of a phoenix.
‘Remember when we were talking about the animals Sister Nature made to bother us? And we couldn’t think of what she made for you? I think I figured it out.’
Cadence screamed and threw a rock at the ceiling of the cave.
Being a pony sucked.
Its...over.
Sniff.
"sees note about another story"
"cries out in joy"
3111758
Time is the least fun of all the spirits.
3111759
I can't tell you how much I'm going to love writing this next one. I've been planning it since April, and looking at the rough idea I have now, it just may be my best story yet.
Heartwarming and hilarious. I do have to wonder what this version of Cadence was thinking during the whole "epic wife toss" incident. Probably wondering who the shadowy prick was supposed to be.
In any case, definitely looking forward to the next installment. This is easily one of my favorite Equestrian cosmologies.
3111889
I'm ashamed of myself, I half-forgot about Sombra in this story! XD
Not that he would have come back into play ever anyway, but still.
I suspect either Harmony wanted a date or Pinkie Pie thought he'd be one hell of a party guest.
Uh, why not teleport half a mile away? That would be an effective way of getting out. Maybe if you don't have enough energy, you could escape by killing yourself and making Life create you new body that's outside of the caves. And by the way, why don't the changelings just eat Cadence alive? If they're truly love-sucking parasites, why couldn't they see that she's ENTIRELY MADE OUT OF-*gets smacked for pointing out plotholes.*
Ahem. Anyway, I'd like to propose a toast to Discord. He'll gave a wonderful boost of chaos from the resulting carnage. Hell, maybe he'll find a way to do something useful with it.
Maybe he'll have a kid.
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3111889
You know, I kind of imagined this fic's continuity in play when I was watching Season Three.
Like when Discord was released a second time, I kept expecting that once Fluttershy's back was turned, Discord would instantly teleport to the Crystal Empire. He'd then holler throughout the streets that Cadence was once a stallion, and then afterward say he was "practicing the virtue of honesty."
This also affected me back in The Games Ponies Play, no less. Discord would tag along for the ride to the Crystal Empire, notice that the Mane Six got the wrong mare for the judge, find the real judge in secret, give her a greeting, listen to her bitch about how the Crystal Empire had terrible hospitality, and then (here's the good part) Discord would tell her about the country of Australia, going into great detail about how it's the greatest place in the world to host the Equestrian Games in, all due to his unfettered chaos magic warping the landscape.
3111965
Do you often suggest suicide as a solution to problems?
3112130
It's different when you're a god. Besides, it worked in South Park.
...He gets better.
3112145
Fair point.
3111791 Wait, so you're NOT going to finish Elements of Larceny? Well then... What's the next story?
I loved it! I personally thought that the ending was a bit rushed, but I loved it all the same!
3114291
It's going to be a Western about Masky and Patsy being sentenced to community service, with Applejack as their parole officer. Their first job is investigating a string of murders in Appleloosa and preventing a war between the ponies and the buffalo.
3114404 Well it's no Elements of Larceny, but you haven't let me down yet so I just know I'll enjoy it.
Zounds, such a a swift ending! To know how the Spirit of Love became the Cadance we know today, and in only the mere span of one mortal pony's lifespan? Nay, it is not but a beautiful thing. But what's this? Dost thou hearken for another story over yonder horizon? Hella sweet.
Seriously, though, that ending came quickly. I was expecting a few scenes to exemplify Cadance's gradual change, but it's still good as it stands now! Now to while away the time till that new story.
3115002
I'm not proud of the ending by any stretch, but I wanted to get it finished up before Uni really got going, plus this story had long since overstayed its welcome. So I went for the quick and dirty route.
The next story's going to have a lot more love put into it, so no such fear of any more dirty quickness.
woah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woahwoah woah woah woah woah woah woah
wahhh what whaaaaat? It's finished....But...bbut....you can't......
BUT WAI?
will you be continuing with the series
Please say yes
3117055
At the moment, I have no more plans to do anything with the Spirits. Sorry.
3118380
Sigh, I guess all amazing things have to end somehow, nevertheless I shall stalk your page daily for your next story
Good Luck
3119588
Thanks, boo <3
Hah, wicked ending. Nothing is fair, nothing is resolved and i'm loving it.
I eagerly await what will happen when discord gets released.