//------------------------------//
// Love's Reward 
// Story: The Life and Times of Love and Harmony 
// by TheManWithTwoNames 
//------------------------------//

Everything about the day was going to be sheer perfection. A wedding more sublime than any fairy tale. Bouquets of purple roses were hung on every pillar in the castle with utmost care. Swaths of cream cloth draped gently down the halls. The finest chefs in the country were brought in to cater to the hundreds of guests. Every floor tile was washed, shined, buffed, waxed, washed again, then thrown out and replaced with brand new tiles. They even had hired a boy band to play the reception, not even one of the groups that was on the downslope that nobody remembered. (I’m looking at you, 98 Degrees.)

Every pony in the kingdom was buzzing with excitement over the most spectacular wedding in centuries. Foreign dignitaries and ambassadors were sailing from miles around to witness it (Excluding the minotaurs and griffons, who for some reason had a historical hatred for pink princesses). Ponies from every caste, hob-nobbers or dirt-nobbers, had received invitations. Even I had a letter jammed into my petrified, screaming mouth. 

Did I mention that I broke out of stone briefly about a year ago? No? Eh, don’t feel left out. It was nothing much to talk about. 

An interesting transformation had come over the blushing bride-to-be over the years leading up to this moment. She had become more patient with others, even respectful of them. Getting whatever she wanted was no longer her highest priority, showing off a compassionate and even selfless side. Emotions and mood swings were kept more firmly in check. Monogamy was no longer the dirty word it had been a thousand years ago. 

Princess Cadence was settling down. 

Preparing for the wedding wasn’t even getting her as riled up as most expected. Harmony was nearly brought to tears in pride and joy. Frankly, I was supremely let down. I place all the blame directly on her little wedding planner. The way she would cackle wildly in private seemed like a hint something fun was going to happen soon. And the way she silently stood over Cadence in her sleep, mouth held wide open with fangs bared to the world, I thought there was going to be something seriously fun. But nothing. Nada. Zip. El Zilcho. 

I zoned in and out over the weeks watching more interesting stuff, like a dragon terrorizing a town, hurricanes, and time travel shenanigans. I only finally started paying attention to Brother Love again when the wedding was just a few days away. And I must have missed some serious action, because I come back to see every one of Celestia’s toy soldiers goose-stepping around the castle, an army of bugs hiding behind the top of the mountain, and Cadence, exhausted and powerless, sealed in the Canterlot Caves. 

Someone should have probably been watching that. 

So Cadence stewed, nearly choking on her own anger, channeling the old, furious Spirit of Love to imagine every sickening torture and gruesome punishment she would inflict on the duplicitous wedding planner who dared to ruin her special day. There would be a few more extra holes when she was finished. She just needed to find a way out of these miserable, soon-to-be-exploded caves. 

The only thing that broke the silence in the caves was the intruding voice of a phoenix.

‘Remember when we were talking about the animals Sister Nature made to bother us? And we couldn’t think of what she made for you? I think I figured it out.’

Cadence screamed and threw a rock at the ceiling of the cave. 

Being a pony sucked.