When monsters come along and disrupt the balance of harmony. The elements are there. Nothing has ever been able to withstand the strength of the elements. Not Discord. Not Chrysalis nor Nightmare Moon. But what happens when one being crashes into Equestria after dying. Having his memory partially ripped from him doing so. What happens when this being can kill just by being in the mere presence of others. Will this person find redemption with the new residence or throw a second chance away. Follow the main six as they try to apprehensively discover and learn new things from this new creature. But will what they discover be the means to they're end. Or salvation.
Chapters (3)
Good story well writen and all that jazz only one mistake I saw.
should be area
So.... its Grimjaw? anyway I noticed a couple things
Equestria should be capitalised
So if I can become you...
They're still alive
curious
I think that a comment saying "This story is good" or "This story is bad" are idiotic the good comments are comments saying 'WHY' bah it doesnt matter my opinion.
I think this is a well writen story that will become something very good if these three chapters were anything to go on. Other than minor spelling errors I cannot see any faults in the story and I cant wait for the next chapter in what will an excelent story.
The premise is interesting, and some of your prose is genuinely good, but you really do need to find yourself a pre-reader/editor. You confuse the words "seam" and "seem" more than once, the paragraphs are blocky when some can afford to be split, and some of the punctuation is just plain wrong. If you can't find anyone, I would be glad to offer my own humble services.
I look forward to the next chapters
This fic is awesome. I'm actaully hoping to write a fanfic of my own in the future where Obito Uchiha gets sent to Equestria.
1625051
Thanks dude!! I never really saw any of the wrong words or badly worded sentences. Bah, perhaps that's because its me looking over stuff I wrote
I like this story but I am confused as to where Lilynette Gingerbuck, Starks other half is?
1636769
A very good question. Rest assured its all part of the plan
Just be careful you don't end up rushing things, but otherwise, I see much potential in this story!
Wheres Lilynette?
I believe you meant in case
Yes Iove this!!!
Well I quite liked that, need more though.
very nice, go lazy powerhouse!
wore, was wearing
...please continue......
Go die in a ditch rarity that is all
5486850
this one dead