Primera lobos

by OkeyDokeyLokey

El lobo solitario

Alone.....

Nothing. No light. No sound. No feeling. Not even a hint of real thoughts traveled through the head of the being flying through utter darkness. Perhaps flying is the wrong way to describe it. Floating perhaps. Travelling at the speed of sound. No. Speed has no meaning here. The being itself didn't know, nor did it really want to know what was going on. All it knew was that it had just been killed. And rather harshly too. Sliced by the sword of a foe. It died in battle though. Perhaps that means it received honor. Bravery. Was this being actually doing the right thing before it died. It wouldn't know. The being tried to sigh. But no air came out. Suddenly it realized that it could feel something. A slight tugging sensation coming from what must be below. It grew. Stronger and stronger and stronger and before it knew it, the darkness around the being shattered into thousands of tiny peace’s and disappeared. The being, who could now be distinguished as male, glanced around the vast sky he fell through. He couldn't recognize anything. That and it was night time.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes and relaxed. He knew that the fall wouldn't hurt him so he just let gravity do his job for him. As he fell, he reflected upon his defeat. He was strong. That's for sure. One of the strongest out there. So how was he defeated by a captain? He didn't really care but he wondered. Could they really be that strong? Or perhaps it was the fact that he didn't have the reaction times to allow him to actually use his immense power to his own benefit. He fell for a little longer before noticing the ground speeding towards him. A large dark green mass. He didn't have to blink before it was upon him and he found himself plunging into the grass, causing an almighty blast and crater. He didn't move a single muscle but lay there. Wondering to himself, just how is it he was able to feel or smell and see the world around him when really. He should be dead. He should be in the deepest parts of hell. That is if there is a hell. Maybe this was actually it. Maybe this was all just a blind attempt at fake comfort before the dogs of hell got him and dragged him to his cage. Let them try. He'd put up a fight and make it hard for them. He smirked before tilting his head to get a better look at his surroundings. His exact landing point was in the middle of some forest. Nothing compared what he had seen. He thought about sitting up for a moment but brushed it off. He was to tired to even move just now.

“ Well this is rather boring.” He sighed.

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Five minutes before.

Across the other side of the forest, one purple pony was sitting in her room with a book and was in utter silence. The only hint of life was her eyes scanning through the book at a practiced page and the dark magenta glow of her magic turning the page every now and again. She was, for you see, Twilight Sparkle. Known throughout Equestria. And as of this moment. She was waiting. Waiting for her assistant to return from Rarity's.

“ When will he learn.” She chuckled to herself. She wanted what was best for the dragon but she knew that Rarity wouldn't have any of what Spike was hinting at. She liked her reputation to much to tarnish it. Although she did think that with enough asking and repetition, she would give up. She shook her head and continued with her book but not before looking outside her window. She smiled while looking at the moon and remembered that it was with her help, the rightful owner was painting the sky and raising the moon every night. She gazed for a moment but a faint flicker of light caught her eye. She squinted before it burst into light.

“ A shooting star.” She gasped before snapping her eyes shut to wish for something. What she didn't notice was the so called star, getting bigger before suddenly landing in the everfree forest. Twilight opened her eyes to see the star gone and she smiled at her wish. Hoping for it to come true.

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Back in the forest.

The man was now in a sitting position and was deep in thought. Pondering over his peculiar surroundings. No hounds of hell had gotten him yet so perhaps there was no point in waiting for it to maybe happen. He stood up and rubbed his head. He couldn't think of anything immediately before his death and general knowledge. But from what he knew, when you die, you forcibly forget your life in the from the living. But does that apply for him. He wasn't living. But neither was he completely dead. His soul was still alive, or what was left of it after turning into a hollow. And it was destroyed. Perhaps it was only a mild version of memory erase that hit him. He knew who he was. He knew how he got here and who sent him here. But it stopped there. After that there was nothing. But for some odd reason, that didn't seam to bother him.

He shook his head before finally heaving himself up to a standing position. He stood at an average height and was a little bit thinner than average. He took four steps forwards and each one made him rise about half a foot as he exited the crater. Nothing seamed to be off or wrong as he gazed around him again. Looking through the trees for any signs of life. Finding nothing, he decided to use what little memory of his powers he had to find out. The man closed his eyes and concentrated. Allowing his spiritual sense to rocket out on all sides scanning for life. He immediately flinched as he found a large volume of life. Over a large area of course. His sense sprinted out further until he found a hot spot. A hub with more life than anywhere else in the area had. He turned to look at this said place and started walking through the forest. He looked from left to right and found nothing as he walked. He didn't even know what the life exactly was coming from this place. All he knew was that it was life.

He walked for what seamed like beyond that of time before finally, he spotted light through the trees. He saw that not only was it light, but lights from that of lit rooms within windows. He then found more reason to get there and sped up his pace. Suddenly the forest died and completely gave way to lush green grass. The man stopped dead and turned, looking down the straight line of difference from the grass and the forest. It was like someone just took a sword and sliced the forest. There was no transition between forest and grass. Just one then two. He turned back to where the light was coming from and relaxed at the sight of a town.

“ At least some form of civilized life lives here.” He spoke to no one. He noted that he traveled past a cottage while heading to the village. Sadly no lights were on so he couldn't go there. But it was then that another thought struck his head. Should he just trudge to any old door and ask for information or should he wait until tomorrow so as to see what actually lives here. There was no doubt that it must be like him if there were handles that looked to be meant for hands. But their spiritual pressure, what little they had anyway was off. Just a little. The difference left hand and right hand. Both the same but one is more familiar than the other. He continued his walk and found the town to be quite quaint. Small but not desolate. It had character. He walked past some houses and came to what must be the main square within the town. He could see a clock tower reading eleven past midday. Spun round and saw something like a town hall, fountain and more houses. Down some of the loose streets, he could see a treehouse and to the left of direction in which he came, a rather large farm. The man meant to take a step forward but stopped completely when he felt a small flutter in his senses. He knew this would be it. The first encounter with these people. He would be nice and not hurt any of them. He didn't really care. He slowly turned his head to the right and saw something heading towards him. His eyes widened and he took an involuntary step back. This thing giving out the minuscule pressure was, what appeared to be an equine of some sort. It hadn't saw him yet but he could see the red coat and shockingly blue hair. The pony was walking alone and wasn't looking at him but at the houses. But the inevitable happened. The pony turned and spotted him. It came to a grand halt and its gargantuan eyes widened. The man could here her easily as she spoke.

“ m..m... MONSTER!!!” It all but shrieked and sprinted in the opposite directing yelling . The houses on either side came to life instantly as their doors opened and more ponies came following. Suddenly the once very quite town was now very awake. Every single equine came out and eventually found the man. They looked at him as he looked right back. They eventually snapped and reacted the same way as the first equine. The man didn't have to think twice before heading back the way he came from and getting as far away from the mass chaos that he had apparently started. He walked and the running equines parted and vanished from his path. He put some pace into his walk and in half the time it took to enter, he was at the edge of town. He could see the sanctuary of the forest he came out of and relaxed. But sadly, he never would get to his destination because a voice stopped him.

“ Hey you!” It yelled. Suddenly his vision was filled with a cyan coloured equine. The equine wasn't happy according to its face. That much was evident. “ You think you can come here and cause all this and just leave. Scare everypony and just up and away. I think not bub.” It raised its hooves and circled them as if it was prepared to fight him. The man sighed in annoyance. He knew how to use his spiritual pressure for sense and for three other things. The equine didn't see it coming. The sudden sky rocket in pressure and weight causing it to slam to the ground. Completely unable to fight. In reality this was but a fraction of what he could really do but the man judged the equines accordingly and used little to none of his spiritual pressure. He didn't want to kill it but just cause it to become immobile. The man didn't speak as he walked around the equine and back into the forest. Heading back to his large crater.

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Rainbow dash

Rainbow Dash couldn't move a muscle. She couldn't even find the strength to open her eyes as they slammed shut. What the hay was happening to her. She felt like at some point she was going to become a mushy pulp on the ground with the volume of force pushing her down. But suddenly as it came, it vanished. Gone. Nothing. Rainbow shot into the air out of reflex. For a moment she just floated in mid air. Enjoying the sensation of feeling completely her own weight again. She did this for three seconds before spinning round, Hell-bent on facing the creature again. But it wasn't there. She couldn't see it. Not a trace

“ What in equestria was that.” She whispered before suddenly remembering where she was. She spun round and rocketed towards the one pony who could possibly know something about this. Twilight Sparkle.

So? good start? I'm not entirely sure yet but I hope so.

Comments

[Grado]

Good story well writen and all that jazz only one mistake I saw.

A hub with more life than anywhere else in the are had

should be area

[LDSocrates]

The premise is interesting, and some of your prose is genuinely good, but you really do need to find yourself a pre-reader/editor. You confuse the words "seam" and "seem" more than once, the paragraphs are blocky when some can afford to be split, and some of the punctuation is just plain wrong. If you can't find anyone, I would be glad to offer my own humble services.

[Methbawks]

Wheres Lilynette?

[seeker of truth n]

Go die in a ditch rarity that is all