• Member Since 29th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 26th, 2023

opuscon789


I like to write a lot supernatural and Rainbow Dash stories so expect me to do that

E

Trixie comes back to Ponyville and Rainbow Dash is put to sleep and my and My and starlightshadow9999's oc go into the dream world to rescue her. Co written with starlightshadow9999 http://www.fimfiction.net/user/starlightshadow9999

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 123 )

1576567>>1576690>>1576692

YES!

1576706
We're going to get banned for this No

1576709
Not me, I'm Wanderer D's fuckbuddy YESH

1576718
I think knighty hates me Non, parce que j'habite en mon voiture.

1576745
Me and Alexstrasza jack off to Nicolas Cage together Si, mi amiga.

1576752
Negatory.

1576765 Conservatory.

1576788
Communist.

1576794 Liberty Prime.

1576808
Homosexual marriage.

没有/ NO.
ΒΟΗΘΕΙΑ/ HELP.
Pumatay sa akin/ Kill Me.
Google Translator has never had the better words to use! :D

1576819 Rainbow Dash.

1576841 Randy Savage.

1576846
Horton feels a feel!

1576862 Red fish, Blue Fish, LSD Rocks, Bunnies.

1576876
Calendars, mugs, t-shirts, and more! They have it all at the copier store.

1576889 Gilda uses a Dashie shaped dildo.

1576935
At least 62% of women living in San Francisco, CA find urine to be a moderately useful sexual stimulant 95% of the time, from 12 AM to 6 AM. This is only the case, however, if they smoke weed every day.

Neigh.

I like the idea of one of the mane six going into a coma and somepony else having to go get them, but this is not the way to go about it.

Your description is lack luster, there are a bunch of grammatical errors, the pacing is...I mean, Trixie shows up unexplained faster than the Flash!

Overall: great idea, poor execution.

1576956 According to 1/1 Bear Grylls, piss is delishus.

1576960
[youtube=17sEq7HX2QE]

1576971
[youtube=72LKjGErD9o]

1576988
[youtube=oCSdLtNZbaA]

... what the fuck is going on in this thread?

Guys, lay off Regidar. It's not his fault, he doesn't know better.

I will not read this on a boat. I will not read this on a goat. I will not read this with a ham. I will not read this, Sam I Am.

I am surprised by the general lack of willingness to even consider reviewing this...
At least 1576959 did something along those lines. Meh, to each their own, I suppose.

I'll bbl and might review if one doesn't pop up :applejackunsure:

1577198
I'm not too confident in myself when it comes to reviewing.

I've only JUST started my first story on this site. Who am I to judge? (Criticism welcome, btw everypony. :moustache:)
But I agree. Nobody likes to just be told "This is bad" and not know the reasons why. I'm just doing what I'd want all ya'll to do. :raritywink:

Arrgh!

In keepin' with the thread so far I also be sayin' neigh.

And I now be convinced that yer' either a troll or just clueless in which case readin' any more of yer works be a waste of time and effort.

Be off with ye!

I'm sorry, but that was horribly written. I tried giving it a shot. I really did. I just could not follow what was going on. chin up though. you wont get better if you quit writing. seriously though you should have added to this. give some background on the oc's and maybe made it full length. that way you could have fleshed it out more and made it more understandable. oh and more well written. Sorry bout the harshness but it just was not that good

Honest opinion: Like naruoC, I think the idea could be an excellent one-shot. This catch is that it has to be done well. This falls way short of that category. To start off, your grammar was atrocious. For example: "Do you think you will end this easy, let find out how well you will communicate," I think I could spend at least 10 minutes on this sentence alone.

There's also the pacing in this. I mean seriously, with all the coincidental interactions and events I could blink and miss half the story.

Characters: What is this? I don't even... Let's see, there's Twilight who apparently has no use of her magic because Trixie is sucking it out of her somehow. Trixie has come back with the cliche villain line of 'I will defeat my nemesis and absorb his powers!' She also somehow causes RD to go into a state of permanent sleep. (Where can a college student get hooked up with one of these?) Rainbow Dash is somehow both the heroine and the damsel in distress. She comes to rescue Twilight because of a conveniently timed cry for help and is immediately defeated and put in need of saving. Starbright: Who is this? I've never heard of him/her/it. All I determined about him/her/it was that he/she/they is/are a pegasus pony. Absolutely nothing else. Opal: When I first saw this name I thought 'Oh, someone is writing Rarity's cat in as a character.' ...Then Opal spoke. There was some minor reactive table-flipping. Turns out *SPOILERS* Opal is a news reporter and is also a pegasus pony. *SPOILERS* No other information is known about Opal the pegasus pony not the cat. That one random magic guy: Not really sure what the point of him was.

Back to pacing: RD's walking down out side the library when she hears Twilight scream for help so she immediately runs to the library basement. She sees Trixie trying to take Twi's magic. Suddenly, enter Opal and Starbright. Suddenly, enter perma-sleep-causing-smoke. Suddenly, Twi sends Opal and Starbright into RD's head. Suddenly, no wings. Suddenly, a sonic rainboom. Suddenly, Trixie again. Suddenly, everything's fixed. ......Yeah~, I don't get it at all.

My final reaction:
i.imgur.com/rcHJY.gif

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...pe

1577275

I... I actually wouldn't even know where to start, except maybe... "Burn it and sell it as modern art on ebay"

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