I like to write a lot supernatural and Rainbow Dash stories so expect me to do that
Pinkie Pie was thinking that she had the best friends that care about her but she learns the truth and wishes that she would die. Her wish happens to come true because of the work of Discord. Now flouting as a ghost she tries to make herself come back to life. Find out what she does in the story. Please Review it helps.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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uh
holy fuck is this short
will read soon
This is fucking horrible, please go jump off a building into a pit of asps please
Bro.
Use commas.
it love! it good story make, more plzzz
Inb4 TWE.
The spelling is vaguely readable.
The grammar is bad.
The punctuation seems to have died.
The chapters are too short.
1534791
is tru fact autor, pls more maek
1534771
omg love and tolerate bronie
Verdict: Trollfic
1534796 You forgot to mention that a story is supposed to be more than eight chapters of near constant dialogue.
I was linked to this piece of fiction by a good friend of mine. When I came here I expected a good read from the description I was given. When I began reading the first chapter, this fic revealed that it would be beyond my expectations. And by that. I mean the expectations of how bad it would be. The chapters are too short with only one reaching over 600 words not only that, the content within them is just a series of talking, which in itself is poorly written may I add. Not only this the overall quality of the fiction is appalling with constant spelling and grammatical errors repeated throughout it.
Here's some tips:
1. Learn the difference between " where, were, and we're"
2. Actually take some into writing the fic rather than just spewing out nonsensical rubbish
3. Drown yourself in a Vat of acid if you continue to write this way, as that would be the only way in which the world would be cleansed of such an illiterate like yourself
1534791
it wonder; i try harder but not so good like this
huh. I was hungry until I read this. I have now lost my appetite, and would instead like to vomit.
thank you sir, as i can likely save some money and lose some weight via this story. instead of lunch, I'll read a chapter here. rock on.
omfg he got dead?? after the nuclear bomb
thAT'S i didn't. know that was going happen omg!
1534832
yeah u gota get betr stop makeng luna get drunk all time!!!!1 be goode like him
1534820
Forgive me, I didn't read the entire thing.
1534828
>this story
>biggest problem is dialogue-based narrative
lol
lrn2dostoevsky
edit: wow you're kind of a dick
1534862 wat r u takin aboot lun y arent u in space zomg!!!!!!
1534863 You basically don't have to. Their writing style leaves basically no room for anything BUT dialogue.
1534875
I would feel bad for not realizing this, but having not even bothered to read the entirety of the first paragraph, any vague effort to think about writing style was out of the question.
Well... at least the cover art is nice!
This was written by a 10 year old right? It's got that funny metre to it where words are simply there and there's no real cohesion, or story for that matter and any plot is quickly thrown out the window.
Words are misspelled.
Ponies are acting out of character.
A lot of dialogue for the sake of dialogue.
Chapters under 1000 words.
Reading and critiquing this would only waste valuable seconds that could otherwise be used doing something else.
Why do people think writing chapters of less than a thousand words is a good idea?
Alternatively, why do people write things that are intentionally meant to gather down-votes and both personal and professional scorn for their creators?
Why do some people do bad things?
I'm not going to down-thumb and leave. I'm not going to leave a pointless comment which doesn't help you.
I'm going to try and be as constructive as possible, although you may not appreciate it as I know some authors do. I just hope what I say can be taken on board.
Here goes...
1. Grammar: This is the boring part, feel free to just glance over this part, but when you start to write more seriously you will need to know this.
"Hello everypony," said Applejack.
This is one of your most common mistakes, always use the comma at the end of the line. Also, in Equestria, 'body' (everybody and anybody) become 'pony' ( everypony and anypony). This is just a general rule adopted into fanfiction from the canon show itself.
I won't go into commas a great deal here, I couldn't explain them well enough in a short paragraph so I'll give you some links which you may look at if you wish.
Commas link
Just as an unofficial rule of unofficial thumb, if you were to read this aloud, whenever you paused throw in a comma. It is better to have a story with one to many commas than too few. A sentence missing a comma could take on a whole new meaning, with one extra it just takes more time to understand.
2. Writing style:
This stuff is a little more important, read more carefully. Writing isn't a skill you just 'pick up' or that you are born with. Some are naturally better at it than others with practice, but no one is better simply by luck. The best way to become the best writer is to read ( I know it sounds dull and maybe even tedious) but if you look at how professionals do it, you will almost certainly pick up some skills.
Also, practice. That's an oblivious one. Practice, practice, practice. Imagine ever story as a block of marble, each time you chip away at it with a sentence it will look more like the beautiful model inside, but only with practice can you really make it the masterpiece. Take me for example, given a chisel and a block of marble I would be able to create a very snazzy-looking pile of dust. Practice and you will get better; punch writers block in the face; drink coffee; and practice.
3. Story content
Every person on this planet has a story to tell, but not everyone should tell it. Sometimes, the story is wierd, creepy and not everyones cup of tea. But if it's something you find interesting, I can (almost) guarantee that someone out there thinks it is interesting, too. The problem is finding the genre and knowing your audience, if you know what they want, and you know what is 'good', then that's half the battle. You may want to steer clear of areas that you don't normally write in (different genres for example) but if you try them, you will always learn something from that particular trade.
4. Looking at your story:
There is no quick-fix on any story. To improve this all I can say is to keep writing. You've written two stories so far, neither have had a good reception, but you've written more that others. You are improving because of them. If after 100 stories you've gotten no better, then be happy, you've wrote 100 stories! That's good going.
I'm not saying write 100 stories, however (that would be silly.) What you should do is keep posting. Every story which you consider to be better than the last should be posted. If it isn't, make it better, then post it. If you aren't better than the last time you've posted, then write something else. If that's better, post that.
This website expects nothing from you. It's readers and writers expect nothing from you. The only thing that is expected is that after each time you post, you get better.
That's me done. I didn't write LOADS. I didn't write a sentence. I could have ranted on for ages but that wouldn't have helped any of us. What little I have wrote, I hope it helps
.
1534817
Nay, it's not good enough for that title. It's just bad.
Bad, bad, bad. Don't give the author that kind of escape route.
...Guess I'll review it, but first point:
Actually write a story, rather than a speedy set of paragraphs. This is something people are going to be enjoying, not a school assignment.
Ahem. Well.
Good story idea, but it was horribly executed, sorry to say.
While you didn't make the wall-of-text mistake a lot of authors make, there were a ton of grammatical errors, plus some small spelling errors. And punctuation.
On top of all of this, the plot was seriously rushed. I'd give an example, but all you need to do is read the first chapter.
I see some serious potential in this story to be great, but you really need to work on your writing skills.
1535104
TWE strike successful!
Reload for the next one!
Sorry it was my best story on fanfiction and now I get anger comments. I am not a good speller and I just joined so I'm still work on my spelling and check stuff when I post them, thanks
1534672
I'm working on that writing a longer story
1535280 As long as you are working to improve, that's ok with us. We'll work with you to improve and get your story out of our folders, so you can start writing great stories.
1535320 English isn't your native language right? Your using google translate to write right?
I'm working on that writing a long story?!
That is such a terrible insult to grammar, and I ain't even a grammar nazi, that just fucking pisses me off how fail that is. I, I don't even.
1535258
Needless to say, that comment is likely longer then any of the chapters by a pretty massive longshot, even if you remove the quotes. Good job TWE.
This story is a good example.
A good example of a bad example (that makes sense, right?)
I think I'll bookmark this (I haven't read it) and shall read it when I feel like I can't write.
Maybe it will motivate me to do better than this, no?
1535420
OK
1535429 If you got a proof reader, and thought of a better concept, you'd be fine. But this story... not good.
1535377 I'll admit, I'm much better at doing quick edits and pointing out obvious errors rather than actually doing a detailed search through a story to fix it. However, I can point you towards several groups that would kindly offer you their assistance.
Rookies on the Rise
Writer's assistance Group
School for New Writers
P.S. Don't hand out your e-mail so quickly
1535440
If you go on to my fanfiction page and look into the stories there then you will find 2 stories that I did with someone else. i think I had no spelling troubles then because he was checking
1535637
It seemed he best way to sum up what's been an awkward question for a while.
Seriously, trollfic authors? Why the heck do you do things like this? I would be willing to accept that sometimes someone is just really really inexperienced at writing stories using English, but when every TWE review could almost be boiled down to the same bullet points, I am forced to conclude that you do these bad things purposefully. Which leads to my problem: I do not understand why. This bothers me, because I do not like finding that my reasoning faculties are unable to match what by all rights should be a simple and straightforward question.
1535820
Thank you someone that understands me
1534771>>1534796>>1534828>>1534927>>1535009>>1535104>>1535258>>1535360>>1535420>>1535637
I've only been here for 2 days and something that was bothering me
after Nonexistent was posted I worked really hard on this all of a sudden there is a group called The Trainwreck Explorers
They left horrible comments there. That was not nice. I worked hard and this is how you treat me.
there are also some people who don't think before they post. october is anti bullying month and this counts for online bullying.
You know who you are and next time I get comments on that I will block you and this is a warning
Also my bad spelling and my microsoft word messis me up
1535987
Your story was bothering me too, but you don't hear me complaining about it.
I know them well. I'm not only a member, but a MOD of that group as well.
Criticism is harsh. Nobody likes to get it and yes it can sting but did you bother to read what the critics, myself included are actually saying or did you simply delete the comments and act like we're all a bunch of meanie pants?
No. I bet you didn't because if you did you'd see that behind the abuse and I will fully admit that I'm a complete bastard when it comes to reviewing bad stories, there is useful information that you can take to make your work better. In fact what was it that I told you on this one? Let's take a look shall we?
Right there, you have four issues with your story but based on how your story was structured and how poorly it was written I wasn't going to write a full review. That's just the way it is. If you don't like it, there's not much I can do about it. But if you fix those four issues, your next story may come out better and you'll get a better reception. It's up to you whether or not you want to do that.
Hey, if I wrote something bad I'd want people to tell me that I wrote something bad. The last thing I would want is somebody telling me a did a good job and lying through their teeth about it. This ain't fanfiction.net. We're trying to have a slightly higher level of fanfics here.
Soooo, how's that my fault?
My words are not bullying and stop being such a precious little snowflake. At no point was I abusive, called you a name or threatened you in any way, shape or form. So seriously if you consider this a form of bullying you've got some serious issues to work out.
Go right ahead. I've had whiners block me before and it hasn't stopped me from thumbing down their stories or from commenting on them elsewhere. You're basically threatening to stick your fingers in your ears and shout "LALALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" over and over again. That's not going to make your stories any better and if anything it can work against you by filling your pages with false praise that you don't deserve.
I may be abrasive, but I'm fair and I'm honest. If you write something worth reading I will tell you so even if I don't like you or the story material. And if I like you but you write crap I will tell you that you're writing crap.
That's an excuse and you know it. Fimfiction has a wavy red line that shows up under any word that is misspelled as you're typing it. Or things like MS Word, OpenOffice and other word processing applications have basic spell check software built in. And if by some miracle your copy is broken then there are other means. There are people on this site that will help you with this. Search the groups, ask some people in the TWE, look around, there are solutions.
Now you can block me if you want, but that's not going to help you. If my words sting it's because they've got the ring of truth to them. I want you to improve. So show me that you can.
1535987 Kid, you're new, so I'll lay it on you easy. We in the Train Wreck Explorers are just trying to help you. We wanna see your stories become better, and we want to see you, as an author, become better. We aren't in this to bust your balls.
But another thing, and this is gonna be my one warning. We in the TWE don't like people who:
A) take criticism as "mean". Accept our help or refuse it. But if you refuse, we'll purposely be "mean" until you see that we're only trying to help. Tough love.
B) delete comments. We have very little sympathy for comment-deleters. It's the epitome of help refusal, and earns you much hate from the TWE. (I notice that you've deleted my review. I wouldn't do that again, or to another reviewer, if I were you.)
C) ban users. In some cases, writers have had the audacity to ban anyone who doesn't full-on praise their work. We call these people assholes, and they are slammed constantly by us.
D) call us "mean" or "bullies". This will only make us even angrier. If you think we're wrong, prove us wrong. Go ahead, make a story with more thumbs up than thumbs down, and you'll prove that you can make a good story.
So overall, we just want to help. Whether you accept the help or not is up to you.
1535835
Perhaps he's right - TWE does label too many fics as 'trollfics'.
I suggest running this through a spellchecker and proofreading.
We're deleting comments now, are we? Real mature, pal. I don't know what your definition of bullying is, but what I, and others have written wasn't bullying. I didn't like the story, and I explained why, going as far as writing an extensive review pointing out the various flaws in it. Never did I actually attack you. That would've been bullying. So, I want you to take a good, hard look at the review I wrote, which I so graciously saved since I got the feeling you were going to delete it, and tell me when I 'bullied' you.
I'm going to school but I think a lot of comments just come in during the day so I will be back bye 5:00 pm central time
1534927Go eat some pizza; time well spent
1538335
Hmmm, you know I haven't had good pizza in a while. Thanks for reminding me.
(*wanders off to find the number for Sabastiano's*)
1538293 We await your return. For the sake of my blood pressure, just accept our help. I don't want to be pissed off on my birthday, even if I'm just gonna drink and party my frustrations away later.
1536286This is the 3rd comment deleter I've dealt with this week. I might just have to back every one of my reviews up on notepad. Ugh.
1538571 I'm just here to help. (Oh, and to trick people into my garage)
1539478
ok I will
1539478>>1538271
lolololeoeoeleololol y so srs