The Battle of Winniepeg Part 3
"What have I done? Sweet Jesus, what have I done? Become a thief in the night, become a dog on the run? Have I fallen so far, and is the hour so late, that nothing remains but the cry of my hate?"
-Jean Valjean, Les Misérables
“Ooooohhhh,” Celestia moaned as she darted down the street, struggling to keep up with the infiltration party. Normally it wouldn’t have been a problem, but she still wasn’t used to her now stubby legs and weak muscles, which mean that her gait was about as graceful as a foal’s. There was a crack overhead and the princess let out another pitiful moan.
“Don’t worry, Princess, I am sure Twilight will be ok,” the Doctor said. He chanced a glance up and grimaced. “Errrr… she might be a bit bruised…”
“It’s not that. I know that Twilight will manage perfectly fine and that there is no need to fear for her safety.” She gave the Doctor a cool stare. “She will defeat Rainbow Dash… I have complete faith in her. You should too. Of all the ponies I know, Twilight Sparkle is the one I can always depend on… I made the mistake of not trusting her once and I will spend eternity making up for that mistake.”
“Then why are you moaning?” the Doctor asked.
“Do you know how much it is going to cost to rebuild Winniepeg after this?” Celestia let out a choked sob when Twilight sent several shooting stars at Rainbow, one of the fiery orbs accidentally striking The Daily Equestria Building.
“Buck up… maybe the queens will have to deal with it and it will be repaired by the time you take back your throne.”
“Huh… that would work.”
“Dear big sister…” Luna called out as they raised towards the city limits, “could you perhaps save your whining and penny pinching for when we are not in enemy territory with two alicorns raining death over our heads?”
“…of course,” Celestia said quickly, hurrying after her sister.
~MC~MC~MC~
“I… won’t let… you beat… me!” Rainbow Dash growled, her horn braced against Twilight’s. The two alicorns hovered above the shell-shocked city, their magic spells and tricks with weather forgotten as they focused solely on using their horns like medieval swords. The two of them grit their teeth as they struggled against one another, trying to find a weak point in the other’s defenses and bring their opponent crashing down. “There is… to much… to lose!”
“I was thinking the same thing!” Twilight snapped, her teeth grit as she pressed her forehead against Dash’s. “I am not going to let you win, Dash. I am going to beat you and you are going to pay for everything you did!”
Rainbow slid to her right, managing to unlock her horn. She lashed out with her hoof, socking Twilight in the flank and sending the alicorn of the stars nearly plummeting; it was only a timely adjustment that allowed Twilight to remain in the air and near her former friend. “You just don’t get it, do you? We are saving Equestria! We have brought harmony and happiness to ponies everywhere! You shouldn’t be fighting us, you should be working with us!”
“Work with you?” Twilight snapped in frustration. The fight had left her emotions raw and having heard Dash use this argue several times already, Twilight felt her rage nearing the breaking point. “You think I would want to be any part of this madness? You had destroyed Equestria and all it stood for!” She fired off a blast of magic when Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to protest. “NO!” Twilight boomed, using her magic to amplify her voice to the levels of the Royal Canterlot Dialect. Her eyes flashed and, for good measure, Twilight added in Faith’s personal persuasion spell, which caused her voice to seem like it was coming at Rainbow from all directions. “You will shut up and you will listen to me! I am going to finish and you will not even grunt until I am done, or by the Creator I will wipe you and this travesty you call a country off the face of the planet!”
It was a bluff, of course. Twilight held no where near the power to do such a thing, nor would she ever think about committing genocide against Equestria. But Rainbow Dash didn’t know that, especially with both the power of Celestia and Luna’s Royal Voice and Faith’s Persuasion Spell (otherwise lovingly known by its creator as his ‘I AM MONALOGUING!’ voice) burning in every word.
“Follow me now,” Twilight snapped, launching herself into the sky. Rainbow Dash, her eyes wide, did the unthinkable: she followed.
The two alicorns rose up, past the clouds, rising higher and higher. The stars hung high above them and twinkled as Twilight approached, like puppies rushing to greet their mother. The lavender alicorn took a moment to look at them and smile before turning her attention back to Rainbow Dash. It was taking all her strength to maintain the Persuasion Spell and if she lost too much focus Rainbow Dash would snap out of it and just come at her again. That simply would not do… Twilight knew this was her only chance to open her friends eyes and get her to see what her and the rest of their friends had done.
The alicorn of the stars removed the Royal Canterlot Voice but kept the persuasion spell at full power. “I want you to look down at Equestria and think. I want you to think long and hard about the country as it is right now.” Twilight’s horn glowed and a bit of cloud was pulled up to join them. “Think about everything you love about it… and I don’t mean what you’ve done and how great it is and everything else you keep telling me. Think back when you were a filly, and everything you loved about being young and living in Equestria. Think about what you did, your favorite hangouts and your friends and what you use to eat for a snack after school.” Twilight’s horn continued to glow and the cloud twisted and turned and fluffed up and slimmed down. Rainbow never looked up, staring intently at her kingdom. “Picture your bedroom in your mind, how it was when you were five years old. Trot through the door and remember what it smelled like... open the closet and look at your toys. Remember what your covers looked like and what stories your mom use to read you when you were tucked in. Remember that all… and look at me.”
Rainbow did as she was told and found herself staring at… herself.
The cloud Twilight had grabbed had been sculpted into a perfect replica of her 5 year old self. The colors were off but still… it was her, made from the fluffy white cloud.
“You are five years old… and you are looking at yourself as you are now… Queen Rainbow Dash… the alicorn who defeated the Wonderbolts… who forces ponies never to get angry and gets mad when they do and punishes them…. the queen who is all about rules and laws and who only wants harmony… the mare who kidnaps fillies and colts and rips them from their parents’ arms… the pony that wants to kill ME, your friend. Look at what you have become and ask yourself… do you really want to be this? Do you really want to be this kind of pony? Is this the pony you wanted to grow up to be? Can you honestly look at yourself and say you are PROUD of what you've become?”
Rainbow trembled, staring at the cloud, staring into the eyes of her younger self. She remembered her hopes and dreams... of what she thought her life would be. She remembered it all. Rainbow Dash began to tremble, unable to look away, pleading with her younger self. “I… we were doing it… save Equestria… make it better… make it safe… we… we…” It sounded like she was repeating a mantra.
Then there was a crack, as if a glass bottle dropped to the ground.
“No!” Rainbow Dash screamed, grabbing her head. “You… you lied to me! You lied to all of us! How… how dare you!” Rainbow let out a cry and Twilight backed away, her eyes wide. This was not the reaction she was expecting. “You told me this was right! You told me you would help us! You used me! You’re using all of us!”
“Dash!”
“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” Rainbow screamed, punching herself in the face and Twilight realized the rant was not directed at her. “YOU TURNED ME INTO A MONSTER! YOU LIED TO ME!” Twilight was forced to back away and Rainbow pummeled her face viciously. “I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN ANYMORE! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET-“
Rainbow Dash went ramrod, her body tensing as light burst out of her eyes. The cyan mare screamed as she began to shrink down, the energy draining from her body until she was Twilight’s size. The purple alicorn held her friend up, stroking her horn against Rainbow’s, which while smaller remained, then looked at the light as it began to swirl and condense…
“You!” a male voice snapped from the swirling energy. “You made her betray me! Doubt’s little bitch! The destroyer of harmony!” The light twisted and took on the wispy form of an alicorn. “I will have her back… I will take her back, you her me! Rainbow Dash is mine! She is my bearer!”
“I don’t know who you are,” Twilight snarled, “but if you ever try and take her again… I will end you.”
The light said no more, choosing instead to rocket away, leaving Twilight holding her friend with only the coldness of space to keep them company.
“It’s gone,” Rainbow Dash whispered. “The voice… it’s gone…” The mare trembled. “Oh Celestia… how… how could I… I didn’t want this… I didn’t…” And then Rainbow Dash did something Twilight had never thought she would see.
The speedster hugged Twilight and began to cry.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry Twilight…” Rainbow Dash sobbed, clinging to her like a child would her favorite toy.
“It’s… it’s ok, Dash… it’s ok…” Twilight whispered, tears in her eyes, hugging Rainbow Dash right back. “It’s will be ok.”
~MC~MC~MC~
"I've never.... flown."
Faith and Cadence moaned but still raised their cups to their lips, taking a drink.
The pink alicorn considered her words carefully, tapping her chin. "I've never... been a male."
"Now you are just being petty," Faith complained, taking a drink.
Sweetie Belle stared at the three prisoners, wondering if they had lost their minds. Each was sitting as close as they could to the bars of their cell, a cup of water placed at their hooves, each in various stages of emptiness. Faith's was the lowest, as it was clear that Trixie and Cadence had decided to team up on him. The alicorn's face spoke of his annoyance at this little alliance and he kept casting dark glances in the direction of each mare.
"What are you two doing?" Sweetie Belle complained, marching towards them. The alterations Rarity and her friends had made to the Cutie Mark Crusaders had seen to it that Sweetie had become an utterly lovely mare. Her bouncy mane remained perfectly coiffed and her coat was the brightest of whites, to the point that some compared it to Celestia's (but never to the unicorn's face). Her mind had also been sharpened and like her sister she was always looking at different angles and thinking how she could turn things to an advantage.
She also, thanks to the conditioning, was always looking to see if some act went against the nature of harmony. Seeing two mares and a stallion playing a drinking game went against all the proper rules of etiquette Rarity had drilled into her head made it clear that such behavior was certainly NOT harmonious.
“We are having a drinking game,” Faith said simply. “I would have assumed you would be smart enough to understand that.” He looked down at his cup of water in disgust. “I will admit it loses something without spirits being consumed, but since your mistresses have failed to install a wetbar, we are forced to make due with what we have.” Faith considered his glass and frowned. “Not that any of you would have decent spirits here. I spent a few decades in Griffian and must admit that they are quite superior. I didn't test them myself but the body I was living thought-“
“YOU ARE PLAYING DRINKING GAMES IN CANTERLOT?!?” Sweetie Belle roared.
Faith just stared at her. “Yes… are you deaf as well as stupid?” He smirked, turning towards Trixie. “I have never said a nice thing about Sweetie Belle.” Cadence let out a groan and took a sip, complaining about getting a full bladder. “Let’s see… do you mind if I take another turn?”
“That not how-“
Faith cut Trixie off. “I have never thought Sweetie Belle was intelligent.” Neither mare took a drink. “I have never found Sweetie Belle that interesting.” Again, none of them took a drink. “I have never been a miserable little blank flank that gets off on beating ponies to compensate for the fact that I will NEVER, EVER get my cutie mark-“
“I’LL KILL YOU!” Sweetie Belle roared, slamming her hoof against the lock. The spell charm clicked and the unicorn burst in, fire and rage in her eyes as she sought to ‘give’ Faith more pain.
Much like her sister, Sweetie Belle could be blinded by rage.
The alicorn slammed his head up, head butting the mare, before sliding behind her. Sweetie let out a squawk of protest when Faith actually MOUNTED her, but those protests died when he merely reached around and wrapped the chain that bound his forelegs around her neck and tugged. Faith snarled as he pulled, Sweetie Belle struggling against the assault before she finally fell to the ground, unconscious.
“So quick, Faith,” Trixie said as the alicorn dragged Sweetie Belle over to the blue unicorn’s spell. “No wonder you are single.”
“Do you want out of this cage or not?” Faith asked. Trixie wisely shut her mouth and Faith slammed Sweetie’s hoof against the lock. With a click the door swung open and Trixie happily trotted out. “Stand guard. I am going to free Cadence and then we can see about getting the rest of the prisoners out of here.”
“How did you know she would take the bait?”
Faith smirked. “I'm bloody annoying as hell, my dear Trixie… most ponies want to punch me.” He dragged Sweetie towards Cadence’s cell and repeated the process with her, moving aside so the pink alicorn could walk out. “If we see a guard with a bit of magic in his horn we need to nab him…" he gestured at the magic canceling ring on his horn, "this will go easier when we can levitate Sweetie Belle around.” Faith glanced at Cadence, who was still standing in her cell. “Come along now, darling, chop chop.”
It was only then that Faith noticed the utter terror in Cadence’s eyes. “I… I’m trying…” Her right leg moved a step, then another, but this was no comfort to the pink alicorn. “Something… something is-“
All of Faith’s senses went on high alert. He saw the absolute terror in Cadence’s eyes. He heard Trixie let out a scream. He smelled the dang musty dungeon. He tasted copper in his mouth.
He felt Cadence’s horn pierce his chest.
“Cadence isn’t here right now,” another voice hissed from the pink alicorn’s mouth.
Trixie rushed forward but Cadence, against her will and without moving, knocked her aside with a swing of her right hoof, sending the showmare slamming into a wall, her head throbbing. Faith let out a gasp as Cadence ripped her horn from his chest and silver blood poured out of his body, staining the dungeon floor. There was a burning sensation in his heart… a fire that raced up his throat and into his brain, tinting his vision pink. The abstract trembled, his footing unsure even as Cadence took a step closer. Sweetie Belle was tossed aside, forgotten, as 'Cadence' began to push him towards a wall.
“You are confused… the little thief is so utterly, utterly confused. Who is this that ruins all your plans, controls your little princess and seeks to end your life?” The voice that came from Cadence’s mouth laughed before kissing his cheek, then giving him a quick love bite. “Oh, my dear robber… of all the many sins you committed you fail to remember the pain you brought to me.” ‘Cadence’ took another step forward and Faith through the haze that the pink alicorn’s eyes no longer held tears as this new force took complete control. “You stole everything from me, little burglar… you whine about them forgetting your name but then you turned around and stole my name and my purpose!” ‘Cadence’ pressed her face to his, nuzzling him. Faith let out a gasp as he realized what the voice was speaking of. “That’s right, my little thief… you stole my name… my purpose… but I reclaim them all. And so once more, you may call me… Doubt.”
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Get ready for a long author’s note.
I discussed in Faith and Doubt how, in writing, you discover characters by writing and learn that the character you thought you knew was not the one you were writing and that you MUST be open to them speaking. This is true of Doubt (from now on, I will refer to the Nameless One as Doubt and Faith, when I discuss his past life, will be Faith/Doubt). Originally, the plan was for the Nameless One to be Obsession. Her motives and reasoning were still in limbo when I wrote the opening of Volume 2 and it has changed several times. At one point she was a stalker of Faith’s who did all this to try and prove herself to him. Other times she was an element that was meant to aid in fighting Discord till Faith took her spot. There was even a point where she was Faith’s WIFE and that her attack on Equestria was her rage that Faith had ‘left her’ for Twilight.
But as I was writing Cadence, Trixie and Faith’s talk about the abstracts and I was doing flow writing (a term I use for when I simply don’t think and type; I actually try and see how fast I can move my fingers on the keys and it allows the narrative to come up completely adlibbed; you’ll notice those sections are the ones with the most errors as I am writing so fast that I am commonly making a mistake nearly every five words). Trixie asked this question:
“If abstracts are born that way, was there a Doubt before you?”
The moment I wrote that it all clicked. I suddenly realized that The Nameless One wasn’t Obsession… she was the first Doubt. And things from Faith and Doubt and things I had written earlier began to fall into place and make sense. And her end game become so utterly, utterly clear that I was shocked. Then I got excited… very excited. I could see the new plot points and the twists and I realized exactly what I was setting up: this story is a chess game with Doubt on one side and Faith and Twilight on the other, using the queens and the rebellion as their pieces.
Doubt is going to be such a fun character to write for. So far the only abstract we’ve really met is Faith, so having Doubt come into the picture, followed by the Elements, will definitely allow us to see just how different the abstracts are from ponies.
The writing of this chapter was very interesting. I did the jokey, happy opening because I wanted to lull you all in, make you think ‘Ok, he is just telling jokes and getting us in a good mood’. Then, originally, Twilight and Rainbow were going to fight and Rainbow would retreat. But once again, flow writing showed me I was wrong: Twilight suddenly had a brilliant idea to force Rainbow to look not at Equestria, not at her actions… but herself.
And Rainbow was free.
This does change some of my plans but it also solves issues I was going to struggle with. Needless to say, Rainbow was NOT going to be saved this soon and thus some upcoming battles will need to be reworked… but it was worth it.
The first thing I wrong was the jail scene where Faith, Trixie and Cadence play the drinking game. Originally, back when Obsession was going to be his wife, this was going to happen with Trixie saying, “I’ve never been married” and only Faith takes a drink. Then I dropped it, planning a different scene (where the prisoners, in a show of support for Faith, sing “Do You Hear the People Sing?” while he was being tortured by the queens… again, this was cut as I changed plans. Once more, I wanted to trick all of you.
The Walking Dead writers discussed that they killed one character mid way through the show to lull people and make them think THAT was the big twist, only to throw a bigger one to shock everyone. I did the same thing here when I decided to have Rainbow be rescued.
We have a few more chapters of Act 2 to finish up, then we move into Act 3.
DAMNIT DOUBT.
WHAT THE FUCK!!???
i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x401/JackPipsam/23862.png
Seriously though... how in Equestria are the others gonna beat Doubt
YAY, the plot point I was hoping for happened. Also, did not see the original Doubt coming.
So, if there was a Doubt before Faith became him, would that mean that Twilight was becoming another Doubt in the previous story? Also you had Faith dying in order for Twi to ascend, how can this Doubt be there if Faith is ascended?
Another great chapter. Also the "I AM MONOLOGUING" voice
now that's a game-changer. so, who WAS at the phone before talking to Twi during the Wedding? Faith or Doubt?
things go fringe from here on...
We aren't going to have to deal with Rainbow Dash going back and forth between double-crossing ponies because she's going in and out of being possessed by Loyalty, are we? Because I hate that kind of storytelling. It's a lame way to invoke drama.
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No.
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There are ways for an abstract to survive the loss of their name. It is painful and leads to a long, slow death, but it is possible (as seen with Faith). How the first Doubt survived will be seen soon enough
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To make it easy to understand, any time BEFORE this chapter when the name Doubt is used, it is referring to Faith. The first Doubt took on other names while Faith was running around as the second Doubt
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Unlikely... I think she's going to play the part of a redeeming character (like Riku in Kingdom Hearts, how he fell to the darkness and fought against his best friend Sora... later on fighting with him but still feeling that he doesn't deserve redemption because of what he has done)
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I'm not sure if I should sympathize with the Real Doubt over having her identity stolen or despise her for doing so much damage on Equestria just for a case of stolen identity
WHAT THE....!
Things have gotten really interesting! You completely took me by surprise there defender! I seriously was not expecting Rainbow Dash to be freed so quickly. When Twilight and Dash catch up with the others, Spitfire is going to blow a fuse!
And then, you turn around and pull that second plot twist! At first I was thinking, 'Yay! They're escaping and they're going to free the other prisoners!' Then I read the text where Doubt takes over Cadence and stabs him and that got me thinking this: 'Oh horseapples. This isn't good.'
The main thing that I'm wondering about is how is everyone else in the rebellion going to handle Rainbow Dash being freed. Unless Faith can somehow get out of prison with everypony else, and tell the rebellion that the Queens are being brain controlled, then the rebellion is just going to think that Rainbow just had a change of heart and now that she is lower in power, they could take her on and make her pay for their sufferings. However, Twilight saw that something was inside Rainbow Dash, so maybe she can tell everypony that.
The best thing I can do right now, is to just wait and see how things plan out. Excellent chapter man! Hope that you can get the next chapter out soon, this story gets more and more interesting with chapter published.
- Super-Brony12
Very intriguing.
carlitaamartinez.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/thump_6669502raisins-meme.png
But seriously, did you killed Doubt?
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As I explained in the author's note, I made it a bit more jokey to shock you with the darker twist.
you are just the best writer ever. just enough comedy to keep this story funny, but not break the flow or completely erase the undertone of awfulness from the current state of equestria.
also the drinking game trap was absolutely brilliant
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/196/f/d/vinyl_scratch___oh_my_celestia____by_trinidash-d57cq2t.gif
Wow... another unexpected twist!
I must say, did NOT see this coming at all, but seeing as you said wasn't planned... I can believe that. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png
The conclusion of Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash's fight was... unexpected. Don't know what I thought would happen, didn't really even envision it. But I must say, Twilight using a bit of the Royal Canterlot voice, as well as something Faith/Doubt is well-known for: being persuasive, was well-executed. So, was it to be expected to happen still well before the climax of this story, and not just near it or whatever? For how Twilight would rescue Dash and/or the others. Anyway, can't wait to see next chapter (if show it then), when Rainbow Dash is faced with the rebellion, if they didn't see that little show in the sky when Loyalty came out of Dash. Sure it'll be met with mixed results, but hopefully, they'll get their explanation before the rebellion decides to tear her apart (mostly Spitfire) and a possible bit of backstory on how the other 5 became alicorns, or at least Dash. As still waiting on that, like you said you would do early on in this story.
And curious to see how Twilight and/or Rainbow'll later, if not in the same way, save their other friends.
The 'I never' game (as I recall it being called that, in certain TV episode of show still watch to this day) was interesting, even if a bit one-sided, ganging on Faith like they did. Curious why Sweetie Belle would think that's not harmonious, if not cause it points out flaws/things that should be kept private and whatnot. Or cause drinking games (even if with water, instead of actual alcohol) are uncouth as Rarity and her little army of followers would say.
I ALMOST expected Faith and the others to get away here when you had him egg on Sweetie to try and kill him this time, but then, you throw that GIANT twist here! 
I almost expected it to for some reason, be Loyalty already, but then a new enemy is thrown into the fray! And the ORIGINAL Doubt? 
I must say, that seemed like bit of a plothole, even if Clockwork or Faith (I assume, anyways) wasn't aware of there being an original Doubt. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_future.png Hopefully, you can enlighten me or those of us who may have forgotten things from Faith and Doubt that led to this direction unknowingly. As I've never been a larger picture kind of guy at times. 
So, is Cadence now going to be controlled for remainder of this story or just for time being? Ah, speculation... but I shall wait to see. 
Anyway, kinda LOVE the direction story is taking, even if it's getting a bit heavy at times (yet I'm somehow enjoying it
). Even though I'm not sure about reasoning behind the one behind all of this, if it's as simple as getting back at Faith for stealing her name and purpose, etc. And using everypony, namely the Bearers of the Elements and the abstracts to get back at Faith. Speaking of, when you had Loyalty say Doubt's name to Twilight, he meant the one who used to be known as Doubt, correct? Even though she's most certainly not on their side and whatnot, just wanna be sure. 
Now to see where it's going to all go from here!
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As I said above, you and me both man. About ALL of that, with Spitfire and then the bitch that took over poor Cadence. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_sad.png (To you and the author): And as best I can imagine right now, Dash'll probably offer to take her licks from the members of the rebellion there who won't stick up for Rainbow Dash (namely Twilight and... maybe Spike), which'll convince them of her sorrow, if seems remorseful while she's doing it. But will wait to see if that is the case here or not.
WHAM chapter. Ba-bam
Wow I was not expecting any of that, I thought for sure Rainbow Dash was going to retreat and warn the other queens. Also the original Doubt sure picked a bad time to make herself known.
Really nice chapter and the revelation of the mysterious figure as Doubt was unexpected and I am interested in how this came to be.
And... Queen takes Rook.
Or did it?
Kind of ironic how Loyalty was the first to go down. I wonder how this is going to affect the ponies Rainbow Dash has brainwashed? Are they going to be freed? Or will they have to be reprogrammed? And what about Scootaloo? Is her regiment going to remain loyal to Rainbow Dash or Harmony? And how is the rebellion going to take Rainbow Dash being... sigh... Next chapter...
So many lines in this one made me laugh really hard. Particularly "I AM MONOLOGUING!" What, did she just channel the 11th there? HILARIOUS. “I'm bloody annoying as hell, my dear Trixie… most ponies want to punch me.” Awww, were you thinking about me there? I'm touched.
Oh, and to all those who think Rainbow Dash went down a little too easy, and if Twilight could use the the power of persuasion then why didn't Twilight use that power before? Same reason why you don't present all your evidence at the beginning of a court case. There has to be a proper moment and all that; it's one of the simple principles of manipulation. The world is a stage, and knowing the proper moment means the difference between success and failure. She could only use that power effectively when the emotional state of both of them was at a high.
The whole drinking game scene was great... cause it's totally what I would do, and I'd kick all their butts (Have you lived in Africa for most of your life? YOU'RE GOING DOWN). I love how Faith knows exactly how to push Sweetie's buttons and goes all Dee Dee from Dexter's Lab with it. What does this button do? Oh, what about this one? Oh, it's the button to TICK SWEETIE THE F**K OFF. You made all the Generosity ponies so... savage. Hilarious if you think about it, but that's what you get with extreme logical extension. Sweetie was a little bit smarter than other fillies her age, but when you force an undeveloped child to have the responsibilities she has now? Bad things happen. Never send a child to do an adult's job... You seem to be making Sweetie into a pawn in an interesting spot. I would really love it if she was a catalyst in the freedom of Rarity. Since the other Queens are on their way to Winniepeg, I wonder what... Sigh... NEXT CHAPTER...
Knew it... Doubt is back... Oh don't get me wrong, this plot twist wasn't easily predictable, I just had about 50 theories about how this was going to end up, and this was number 20-something. I'm not going to judge because we just met the character, but if this character is ANYTHING like Doubt was in Faith and Doubt... Forgive me if I withhold my enthusiasm... It's going to be weird referring to both Faith and Doubt (heh) as separate entities. And I'm also curious as to how Cadance was possessed in the first place, and why Doubt didn't do anything earlier and why she... Sigh... NEXT CHAPTER...
Oh yes, side comment, I notice you like to hold the plot twists until the very last word. My compliments for that writing style. Oh and, how did you decide the genders of these abstracts? Just curious.
Hm. Long comment.
So is cadence bound by the original doubt?
or is that literally the Origional doubt?
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The first Doubt is a completely separate being from Faith/Doubt and thus will be very much a different personality and style (think of it like two guys being named 'Bob'; they share a name but nothing else). A bit more insane, a bit more random, a bit harder to predict. Doubt's history after Faith accidently stole her name is quite twisted and left scars. I'd say that if Faith is The Riddler or Ra's al Ghul, then the first Doubt is The Joker (which is really funny since Faith's voice is that of Bane... so he is Riddler meets Ra's with Bane's voice...)
I chose the genders due to both the characters and what the elements were. I wanted three males and three females... Faith was already male so that was one. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are the most tomboyish, so their elements are male. Laughter I wanted to be Harley Quinn, Kindness I can't see as male and neither can I see Generosity that way.
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Wait, now we're getting into Batman? I thought this was Lord of the Rings.
Well, now I can see your biggest influences on this story. I'm noticing massive improvements each chapter. Keep it up! Oh, and Riddler is best Batman villain.
I figured. Rule of three and all that jazz.
You know, it's kind of funny for me that so many people in this here section are commending you for the ‘I AM MONALOGUING!’ thing and fail to see that it actually should be ‘I AM MONOLOGUING!'
I blame UPPER CASE LOGIC OF PREFECTNESS! As in: if it's in the upper case you don't see anything wrong with it. Who saw that I actually misspelled perfectness here? Probably all of you, rendering my point moot...
Anyhow, not to look like a jerk: That plot twist. Nice. I was kinda wondering where was Doubt if Faith existed before that? You can't have doubt without faith and vice-versa. Now with this here bit of world-building it was even more pressing (if you can call loose thoughts pressing) question, so thank you for answering it.
Keep up the good work!
And let the fun times roll.
Great last two chapters. The humor you included throughout got several good laughs out of me, particularly the banter between Trixie and Faith, Celestia's penny-pinching, and the "I AM MONALOGUING" voice. Faith was amusing in general as always.
The way you chose to end the fight between Dash and Twilight was unexpected. I had expected more of a beat-down followed by something similar to how Twilight freed Dash from Discord. However, I think your method was overall more powerful and believable.
Certainly an interesting plot twist. My theory came somewhat close. I was curious if you were going to go elements of disharmony manipulating the elements of harmony to spread disharmony. It certainly would have been an ironic, yet accurate twist.
As always, looking forward to more.
Errors:
"You had destroyed Equestria and all it stood for!”
You have
Holy crap!
1781310 If having your identity striped caused you, an immortal, to race against certain death for millenia, always just barely one step ahead, the lives of short-lived mortals would likely become insignificant to you.
1782053
Let's just hope Twilight and Faith can save the day...
Now, this explain Cadance origin a lot more...
head-splosion dude you write a mean plot over here and jokes aside it thickened considerably just now.
i can only sit and watch it unfold i don't even try to guess at the next chapter i want to be completely surprised every time.
1782099 Well things certainly aren't looking good for ANY of the characters. Revived-Doubt (who I'll now be referring to as ReDoubt) has pretty much the entire planet caught in her web. She's broken Equestria's faith in the princesses' ability to protect, she's undone the good image of the Elements of Harmony and the Bearers' trust in them as well, and she doing her damnedest to off Faith before he can do any serious harm to her plans. Losing to ReDoubt would mean a world where nopony can trust anypony and serving ones own survival is all that matters.
Basically, Equestria becomes one big game of Paranoia.
1782142
Hooray for Les Mis!
Hell YEAH! Kick der flank Twi! Kick der flank!
AND HOLY CELESTIA! Doubt! You little bitch let Cadance go! NOW!
Hmm. So, then all of the Mane 6 are going to retain alicorn characteristics, and their abstracts as well?
The Doubt revelation is surprising and fills the story to full circle perfectly, but I feel like I could use getting the above clarified; things are going to get crowded soon if so.
Excellent chapter. Loved everything that happened in Winniepeg!
Is Cadance going to be the 'permanent container' of the Real Doubt?
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?
1782142
sounds a bit like fallout
and defender2222, at the risk of sounding fanboyish... THIS CHAPTER WAS AMAZING- uh, i mean its cool bro lol
keep writing your magic
the rebel alicorns have been doubled. that was a damn amazing idea twilight!
I suppose, even without Faith to confirm, Twilight and Rainbow Dash should be able to put two and two together regarding the Elements and their thrall over the Bearers. To convince the rebels about it could be a different matter, and I´m not sure if even the Regal Sisters will feel forgiving about Dash.
1781200
possible theme of the elements?