"Forth and fear no darkness! Shields shall be shaken! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day... a red day... ere the sun rises!"
-Theoden, The Return of the King
This was not how he had expected his first confrontation with the queen’s warriors to go.
Oh, Shining had been hoping that Twilight would agree to help fight against her friends and save Equestria. He had thought about that battle, of the danger and the violence… but it had always seemed so epic, like the tales of knights his mother and father use to tell him. The clash of armor and the blasts of magic…
But this… this was not a noble fight. It hadn’t even began and Shining knew it would be grim and dark and gritty. And this was only the first skirmish… the true battle… the true WAR… lay before them.
Shining shoved down the fear he was feeling and joining Twilight and Faith in staring down Scootaloo's squad. He knew that his magic would do little good but he hoped some of the non-magical defensive moves he'd been taught in the royal guard might help him. He would not be a coward; he would not let the fear the queens had instilled within him keep him from doing what was right. He would fight… not matter how broken he felt.
Faith looked upon the whole exercise with an air of boredom. Fighting was tedious in his eyes and he preferred a battle of words to one of hooves. The chess board of the mind was such a more thrilling place and, when in the hooves of skilled warriors, more dangerous. Bodies could mend but hearts and souls were such a tricky thing to break… and to heal.
Still, if pressed he would defend himself. And those under his protection.
Twilight focused, calling upon spells she had prepared for just such an occasion. While Twilight was no longer as anal retentive as she had once been she still prepared for the worst of situations... a trait that was going to help her out right then and there. She studied the armor of the guards and began to poke as the protection spells woven through it, trying to find weaknesses. Her quick mind looked at the squad’s structure and layout and she created theories on how they would behave.
"Twilight... you want me to help?" Spike asked, leaping down off her back.
"Why yes Spike!" Twilight said happily. "I think you've more than earned a chance to flex your muscles."
Scootaloo laughed as her men got in position, surrounding the small band of traitors. "A baby dragon... you are really going to have a baby dragon fight?" She scoffed. “You’re more desperate than I thought.”
"Maybe," Twilight said, her smile speaking volumes. "But I wouldn’t write him off. You see... Spike and I figured something out during our little holiday."
Spike closed his eyes, body trembling slightly. "I know what I want... I know what a want..." He repeated that over and over and the pegasi were surprised when the baby dragon began to grunt, his scales bulging slightly as if something were wiggling beneath them.
"Such an interesting thing about dragons," Twilight said, her tone almost clinical. She began to circle around Spike, not at all disturbed by the fact that his scales were bulging out. "Their growth is based on greed. Now, I've known about that since Spike's last birthday, which is why he is now on a very strict gift-getting-limit. But I never really considered what that meant, to have your growth be based on greed. It is such a strange concept, right? After my own... growth... I began to wonder if there weren't more shades of gray in the world. Why couldn't greed be turned into something for the side of good to use?
“It was Faith who made me finally see the answer.” Twilight shrugged. “Well, him and Discord. Both proved that there were negatives and positives for everything: lies and honestly, faith and doubt… and more than that the same emotion could be twisted for either light or darkness. Doubt can make a hero falter… or question lies. So, why not the same for greed? Why not turn it into something positive… something Spike could control?”
The baby dragon's eyes snapped upon, his dark pupils turned into sharp slits. "I want to be five times bigger, have the strength of an ursa minor, and wings that make me as fast as Rainbow Dash!"
Spike grunted as his body began to swell, his muscles expanding and his scales hardening as he began to age. He rose up into the air as his bones thickened and his limbs grew longer. Toned, powerful muscle burst from his body and smoke began to slowly drift from his nostrils. The dragon slammed a meaty fist into the ground as wings burst from his back and his teeth gleamed in the sunlight as he gave Scootaloo and her stallions a feral grin. He rose higher and higher, till he was several feet taller than Faith and filled with rippling, twitching muscle. And while he did look older there wasn't the malice that had drove him into a primal rage the first time he'd let his greed get the best of him. No... now Spike was driven by desire... a desire to help his friends.
“Wow,” Shining whispered.
"Our boy's all grown up," Faith said with a slight laugh and a hint of pride.
"Ha ha ha," Spike said, his voice having dropped several octaves. He rolled his shoulders and neck before bringing his clawed hands up and motioning for Scootaloo's squad to come at him. He was built like a minator and it looked like he could chomp diamonds into dust with his powerful jaws.
Faith took on a wounded look. "You laugh, but I played as much of a role in your hatching as my Twilight. That makes me the closest thing you have to a father."
“Then we need to talk about all my missed birthdays, dad.”
"Would we argue this later?" Shining snapped. "You know, when we aren't about to face a bunch of brainwashed pegasi."
“Don’t tell me you doubt us, my boy!” Faith said teasingly. “Twilight alone could handle this mob… I just want a chance to stretch my wings.”
“And it has nothing to do with you worrying about me?” Twilight asked playfully.
“Well, other than worrying about your sudden egotism causing you to do something stupid-“
Twilight glowered at him. “Really? I’m the egotist?”
“Are you sure they aren’t dating?” Shining whispered to the giant Spike.
“We aren’t,” Twilight snapped.
"Of course we aren’t. Oh, and before I forget!" The white stallion barely had time to blink before Faith struck his horn against the stallion’s. Shining let out a yelp, only to feel his body tense as… he wasn’t for sure what happened. It felt as if he had jammed his horn into the sun itself but just as quickly as the pain came it disappeared, leaving a sense of power behind. All the fear and worry he had felt faded in an instant and for the first time in 2 months he felt like his old self.
"What... what was that?" Shining asked as Faith and Twilight lowered themselves into attack position.
"A bit of a boast, my dear boy; and the return of your faith in yourself. Now then, have at them and all that rubbish."
The pegasi rushed them, lashing out with their hooves and their armored heads, their wings beating as they zipped and dove away from the party of four. The air filled with the sound of clanking armor and beating wings as they sought to strike down the party before they could make a move.
They quickly found, however, that they training and protection spells did little against the brute force of two alicorns, a teenage dragon and an amplified captain of the royal guard. What they had thought would be an easy fight quickly turned into a struggle. All the loyalty to the cause was meaningless when faced with those that could not be cowed or bullied.
Shining put his combat training to the test against the pegasi and showed them that just because he favored creating defensive bubbles did not mean he was helpless. The pinkish spheres would pop up in front of the zooming pegasi, holding like a brick wall and leaving them in a daze. He created several and sent them hurtling at the stallions like mini wrecking balls... with just as much damage being inflicted. The most painful were the smallest of his orbs, which he fired from his horn like a gatling gun. They would attach themselves to the wings and spread like molasses, paralyzing the limbs and sending the flyer crashing to the ground.
Spike proved to be quite use to his enlarged form and any that got near him thinking the change in height would throw him off were left with a painful surprise. What he lacked in speed, due to his sheer size, he made up for in cunning. His years spent learning under Twilight had not been in vain and though he looked to be a dumb, muscle-filled brute he was as cagy as the best general. One of his favorite moves was to leap into the air and clap his meaty hands together, sending out a sonic boom that would leave the pegasi tumbling about, trying to right themselves. Those unlucky enough not to find their balance soon enough would be caught in a bear hug, squeezed until they passed out. The stallions that avoided that were by no means save, as Spike would then turn his flames on them, heating up the air and creating thermals that would send them careening off course.
They say a good offense is a good defense and Faith clearly adhered to that motto. There was not a single moment in the entire battle where the lord of the gray ever attacked one of the pegasus guards; his horn never glowed and not one felt his hoof upon their form. He refused to make the first move and let them come to him, opening himself up to their attacks. But his lack of attack did not mean he didn't deal pain. Whenever they attacked he would deflect their strikes with a flick of his wing and send his opponent slamming into the ground or colliding with one of their comrades. Avoiding him also failed as the abstract used his speed and grace to place himself in the middle of attacks; he was a living shield for the rest of his team. The abstract leapt about the battle field, catching shots from Shining or Twilight that missed their mark and juggling them along his metallic wings before flinging them at a nearby pegasus. To fight him was to battle the wind or a river.
Twilight was Twilight. There was no real style that could be ascribed to her because she used them all. Her mind had always been a steel trap when it came to knowledge and she was always seeking to learn more. No topic had flew past her and she was open to any avenue of learning. When, as a teen, she'd taken an interest in the art of war (after a rather bad encounter with a rude unicorn stallion) she'd absorbed it all: strategies, battle formations, assault styles.
And, of course, she’d studied the moves and tactics of Commander Hurricane, the greatest pegasus warrior to ever live.
With her wings unfurled and her body now designed for flight, Twilight brought the commander's greatest moves back to life. The skies were filled with raging winds as Twilight spun about, creating the deadly blasting gusts that had made Hurricane a terror in the sky during the founding of Equestria. Several of the guards, even with their feelings of loyalty amplified as high as they were, began to tremble as they witnessed they acrobatics they'd studied in flight school being performed by the alicorn of the stars. They cried out and feared that Hurricane had truly returned from the grave and was unleashing his vengeance upon them.
In the end it was a lopsided battle and even then it was only the mercy of the four that kept it that close. Had they chosen to kill the Rainbow Squad the fight would have been over 10 minutes sooner. Instead they had sought to maim and knock out rather than brutalize and kill. Scootaloo's forces got in their hits but the foursome made sure they paid for each one 10-fold. It was only the aged filly that remained standing for her side once the final attack had been made. She panted and stared at them with wild eyes, like a cornered timberwolf caught against a rock wall. Her armor had been dented and pieces of it tossed arise. A bit of her tail still simmered from where Spike had burnt it and bruises were forming on her stomach after Twilight had landed a devastating kick.
"You can not win," Faith stated softly. "Stand down and you will not be harmed. We will heal your stallions and offer you what we can."
"I can help you, Scootaloo... I can make you normal again."
“You have been in their council,” Shining said. “Help us… you can give us so much-“
"NO!" Scootaloo screamed, enraged. "You will not corrupt me!" Her wing flicked and there was a blinding flash of light. When the spots faded from the foursome's vision they found that Scootaloo and her guards were gone.
"Teleportation. The queens built it into her armor. Clever, I will admit," Faith muttered.
"Do we go after them?" Spike said, his massive arms crossed over his broad chest.
Twilight focused. “I have a lock. I can-“
"No... we do that and we could be walking into a trap." Shining said.
Faith nodded. “I agree with the captain. It would be unwise to rush in.”
Shining began to walk away. "Come on... we have to let the others know there is hope."
"Others?" Twilight asked. "What others?"
"The rebellion, Twiley... the rebellion."
Much to talk about.
I decided rather quickly that I wanted Spike to be active in this story. So, I began to look at him and what he could do... and I realized that I could pull an 'Incredible Hulk' with our baby dragon. As you will all see soon enough, this isn't the only form Spike can take and our boy is going to be a key player in saving Equestria.
When it came to writing the fight I decided that, since this was the first battle, I could easily have done it like a standard fight. But, since this was going to be a curb stomp, I decided to use a method I have used before, which I call the snapshot. I float to each character, describe how they fight, and then move to the next till I end with the final moments. It allows the reader to understand clearly the styles of the four so that, when I do get into bigger fights, I don't have to focus on describing every attack.
Edit: Should the Abstract Saga ever get a TVTropes page, this will be the chapter where Shining, Twilight, Spike and Faith too a Class in Badass
But, but, I had PLANS today D:
AWWW YISSS
Fantastic, another epic chapter.
I seriously like this one with all the action and what not.
Spike was being a bawss, i can't wait to draw him/ sketch.
Really epic fight scene and description of how each character dealt some damage
Totally waiting at the edge of my seat for the next chapter, rebellion - here we come
and yeah... totally claimed it (first letter of each sentence/phrase)
-------------------------------------------------
edit: Buck... missed it by a few seconds
Things are starting to get serious.
I wonder if Luna and Celestia will be in the rebellion considering they lost all their powers.
They will probably be commanding the rebellion for they have the most experience in wars.
Say, does Faith have a British accent? Cause that's all I can hear him with.
I got a funny feeling Twilight will meet Celestia and Luna at the rebellion...
As for Spike:
"SPIKE.... SLASH!!"
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111213005629/mlp/images/thumb/8/8a/Spike_Hulking_Out.png/640px-Spike_Hulking_Out.png
so short
Very freaking intriguing.
"It was only aged filly that"
Should be "only the aged filly"
Its funny; I had the idea of Spike hulking out a few days ago, and then this pops up. Are you reading my mind?
In all seriousness, this is great, and I look forward to another chapter soon.
1614673
Yes, Faith has a British accept, or a mix of it and Scottish.
Curb stomp battle!
Twilight, Alicorn of the Stars... Sounds pretty badass I must admit.
1614734
How spiffing!
Using his greed for a boost? Nice touch. Though I wonder, what other emotions could cause him to change? Greed gives him size and strength, could something else give him better speed? Make his fire breath stronger?
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/172870%20-%20animated%20edit%20epic_wub_time%20reaction_face%20vinyl_scratch.gif?1344079760
1614658
And an R.
1614648
Well, little dull this chapter. While did describe their fighting styles well, had hoped we'd get a bit more detail on the fighting, if you felt like it. I mean, didn't really even cover what the OTHER side did, if I may say so. I just hope if do this snapshot method in a later chapter with fighting, it paints little more of a picture, like when Twilight fought Rainbow Dash in the nightclub in Faith and Doubt. Spike's out-of-nowhere growth ability was rather... intriguing, but I guess you explained it well, even if was probably thanks to magic that he accessed it in the first place. Definitely expected a victory here, though can't say if all will be like this, if you feel like being that way. Had hoped we'd get to see Scootaloo back in her uncorrupted form, but guess that was a bit much to hope for so soon in this story. This chapter didn't really draw me in, but at least I didn't hate it like the first couple.
And everypony seems to be giving Celestia and Luna too much credit. I mean, maybe they'll be in the rebellion, but I doubt with the direction defender's taking it in, might not happen TOO soon, if I may say so. Once again, looking somewhat forward to new chapter, even if I still am not onboard with this idea as-is.
List of all the errors I spotted while reading:
He had thought about that battle, of the danger and the violence… but it had always seemed so epic, like the tales of knights his mother and father use to tell him. <--------- Used.
It hadn’t even began and Shining knew it would be grim and dark and gritty. <--------- Begun, I think.
Shining shoved down the fear he was feeling and joining Twilight and Faith in staring down Scootaloo's squad. <------- Joined, as someone else said.
He would fight… not matter how broken he felt. <-------- No, not "not".
She studied the armor of the guards and began to poke as the protection spells woven through it, trying to find weaknesses. <-------- Wove.
"I know what I want... I know what a want..." <--------- I, in correspondence with the previous sentence.
"Such an interesting thing about dragons," Twilight said, her tone almost clinical. <---------- Not sure if should be cynical, as clinical makes her sound like she's a doctor/nurse. Though cynical usually means like disbelieving, not sure if that's the tone Twilight was using to address Scootaloo and/or her guards, cause of them being disbelieving in the fact.
Now, I've known about that since Spike's last birthday, which is why he is now on a very strict gift-getting-limit. <----------- Not sure if should be gift-getting limit, cause seems more accurate instead of how you wrote it, but may be fine as is.
“Well, him and Discord. Both proved that there were negatives and positives for everything: lies and honestly, faith and doubt… and more than that the same emotion could be twisted for either light or darkness. <-------- First should be honesty, then second should probably have a comma after that.
He was built like a minator and it looked like he could chomp diamonds into dust with his powerful jaws. <-------- Minotaur.
"Would we argue this later?" Shining snapped. <-------- Should be "Could" which fits more than Would here.
They quickly found, however, that they training and protection spells did little against the brute force of two alicorns, a teenage dragon and an amplified captain of the royal guard. <-------- Their or the, though more likely their with how you wrote the sentence, so it sounds more correct.
Spike proved to be quite use to his enlarged form and any that got near him thinking the change in height would throw him off were left with a painful surprise. <--------- Again, used instead of use.
The stallions that avoided that were by no means save, as Spike would then turn his flames on them, heating up the air and creating thermals that would send them careening off course. <---------- First should be safe or saved, though maybe saved sounds more proper. Second I'm not sure about if should be "thermal vacuums", cause not sure if thermal is the right word. If it means heat by itself, and not supposed to be a vacuum of hot air.
They say a good offense is a good defense and Faith clearly adhered to that motto. <-------- Think it should be "Best defense is a good offense", from what I know of that. Though could essentially mean the same thing.
Several of the guards, even with their feelings of loyalty amplified as high as they were, began to tremble as they witnessed they acrobatics they'd studied in flight school being performed by the alicorn of the stars. <-------- The instead of using they again.
Her armor had been dented and pieces of it tossed arise. <--------- Think this should be aside, as arise means something akin to "get a rise out of".
1614658
But you forgot the R... Unless was trying to spell fist, and not first (even though defender usually takes first by posting his chapter comments there, lol).
awesome concept with the greed thing, and another great chapter.
just me being nit-picky, but you seem to have a small error
i believe that should be safe.
1614648
I think the trope you're referring to here is "Took A Level In Badass".
Nice way to have Spike become a major character in this story, really liked the idea of him using greed to fight.
I was half-expecting Twilight to break out an enhanced version of the memory spell from the Discord incident. With her boosted power, she probably could instantly heal the over-Harmonization of any of the Queen's brainwashing victims.
As for the rebellion, I've already been guessing as to the members. It seems a given that Celestia and Luna will be among them, and I expect that the Apple family (sans Applebloom, most likely) will be there as well. Probably also Twilight's parents and, I really hope, Chrysalis.
Was somewhat hoping for the line "Spike Smash!"
You won't like him when he's greedy...
THE INCREDIBLE
SPIKE
Coming Soon in your next defender2222 Fanfic.
I'm rather pleased to see I'm not the only one who understands that greed is not automatically evil. Don't suppose you have the same view of selfishness?
1614917
The grammar mistakes I changed... but the word choice ones I kept (such as clinical... that's what I meant)
Wingzero XD just yes all of my yes XD
My reaction to Spike's change,
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSIkMjAxMi8wNy8zMC8wMl8xOV8wMF82ODlfNjEzMDNfXwY6BkVU/61303__safe_spike_animated_dragon-quest.gif
Spike was there to do two things chew bubble gum and kick-ass... and he ran out of bubble gum! ( MUST GET MORE BUBBLE GUM!)
more serous note, wish i had popcorn for this chapter while I did enjpyo the chapter i'd love to know more of the over sides tatics and moves ... though I do like to read and see a good fight you were right this was just a one sided slaughter without the killling.... so typing otu the fight wouldnt be anywhere as long or productive...kinda like a Hellsing Ultimate fight... mostly one sided. I hope to see more form you and you amazing work (and keep the smart-ass levels high Luna knows we dont have enough)
Gentle breeze guide you home, a warm smile to welcome you.
1614648 Well, dragons are supposed to be renowned shape-shifters.
another good chapter and Viva La Resistance
Yes. Yeeeeesssssss...
omigodthisoawsum
Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to let Scootaloo escape, when she informs the other Elemens of Harmony about Twilight and Spike's new powers they'll be sure to come up with a way to work around it so they regain the upper hoof, they won't allow for anyone to be stronger than them so no one can question their rule.
1614809
I claim.. epic fail of the day! XDDD
1615188
Okay...? Honestly, don't know WHAT you fixed, checked each sentence and don't seem to see any that've been messed with. Would need to read the whole thing over again. And maybe clinical is correct (but not sure why'd for different example, honestly would be correct, should be honesty like AJ's element in that one sentence when comparing it to lies), but I think most of the other suggestions I made are correct in order for the sentence to sound correct and make sense in what you're trying to say. Not nagging/picky, but just this chapter seemed to have a bit more than a few, like certain chapters in Faith and Doubt, before I started commenting around final few chapters. And don't think you're not an American English speaker/writer, from what I recall of reading both stories in this universe.
1616716
I don't get what you are trying to say in your last sentence... if you are trying to say that English isn't my first language you are wrong. I am writing these chapters so fast (I don't see any other author putting up a chapter every other day) that mistakes slip through. Not trying to be rude, but keep in mind I am writing this, God Squad, a novel, and I have a full time job... a few typos don't concern me when this is a free piece of work.
I refuse to have beta writers because they either a) miss deadlines so horribly that it would take weeks to publish one chapter b) try to change the entire structure of the story because they care more about grammar than style (IE, my use of ... is to reflect the mood of a character and how they are thinking... sometimes I use alot of them because the character is having a breakdown).
Clinically is correct. Twilight is talking like she is a doctor about a patient... very informative. She is not talking 'cynically' which, in my opinion, would make no sense for what she is saying. There are also a few other instances where you recommended a word and I stuck with my original choice. Other things I did go with and those have been changed.
I do thank you for finding many of those mistakes and I have fixed alot. Just wanted to let you know why not ALL OF THEM were changed.
The way you wrote the fight reminded me of 300 somewhat. And i don't think its possible to take a level in badass if you never sucked in the first place. If anything, you have the Badass Bookworm (Twilight), Shielding Stone Wall (Faith), with Spike taking the level in badass between them.....
Dammit, brb, feel a need to list the tropes.
1614917 I agree with your first six corrections. Your seventh(the one about clinical), however, is wrong. He meant that she recited her speech almost as if she was giving a dissertation on dragon growth to a group of med students. I also agree with the next ones until you mention thermals. That one is correct, 'thermal' is the term for an updraft of warm air. Your next one, about the best defense being a good offense? Flip it. It makes more sense in context to say 'the best offense is a good defense,' and it's just as true. The rest of your corrections are right.
That...
Was....
*flings popcorn*
AWESOME!
1617294
I want to clarify this: didn't say you weren't, just was saying that while I am aware other languages may have subtle differences (which are weird, at least maybe to a non-native), yours didn't seem to be like that with non-American English, at least of ones I am familiar enough with. Though this series is the only work of yours I have read, but I plan on reading future ones, when they come out. Particularly the Twilight AU(?) one mentioned in chapter comment on Faith and Doubt with her going between being human and pony, with her pony world as a TV show in the human one.
Am aware you have several others and maybe other concerns, but know you always say to others about how if spot errors, to point them out. I'd be a beta, but I'm not the fastest always and thanks to certain medical conditions, do take my time and be thorough. I'd like to think wouldn't change the story (I believe in literary freedom) and would agree with you on the ellipsis usage (which is technical term for a ...), but eh, it's your call on whether to have betas or not; though thought maybe you said did for Faith and Doubt, but that's neither here nor there, so let's not address this, okay? Sorry for possibly insulting, just didn't know how else to put it and not always the most careful worder; even if try to put thought in my words before I say them, being sensitive of others' feelings as well as my own.
I still hope to enjoy this story sometime as this series brought my attention to you, even if it's going down a darker path than Faith and Doubt did in the beginning. I went in knowing that, though didn't expect such brutalization of certain/all characters grown to love in the series (for most part). And now as I'm typing this, I'm wondering what happens to the ones who were already bad, if will explore certain smaller antagonists or bad fillies like Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon, that is.
1617333
Well, thank you for agreeing, even though defender didn't seem to (at least, at first? Haven't checked the chapter again yet). No offense to you when you read this, defender, accept your own opinion and decision on what to do with your story.
I admit not the sharpest tool in the shed on knowledge anymore and even on proper(?) literary writing, though I know enough to do well, I'd like to think, if took my time and such. I dunno, just seemed odd, the usage of clinical in that sentence, way I envisioned Twilight saying it to Scootaloo and/or her followers. And not familiar with weather conditions and thought I knew what thermal meant, so didn't look that up to know that either. And I dunno, in certain show(s) I've seen (namely cartoon(s), aside from My Little Pony), they always say it that way "Best defense is a good offense", even if makes little sense to me personally. Maybe I should edit out part of my review as I planned, at least with all the little corrections I attempted to point out.
1616714
You claimed a fist. Epic fails are reserved for someone who drops an F-bomb and thinks it says first.
that was a... merciful massacre...is that even possible...
loved spike, it's seriously a big deal to have a dragon which can choose his size and power, very hard to find and very hard to beat. not to mention that he's picked up things from twilight. he's basically the worst kind of enemy in both size, abilities and mind (not counting alicorns...).
twi is as awesome as i had imagined her to be, i would still like to see more of her magical powers, as of now it's mostly been about her physical abilities. and; alicorn of the stars=dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
Hmmm... well this was a rather short chapter. Personally I might have liked to have seen something of what the queen's guards did to try and fight back, especially if you have more fights latter on. Of course it does help create the sense that the queen's soldiers are being CRUSHED... which is a good thing, but still I would have liked to know what the guards at least TRIED to do. Maybe start with them in the snap shots? THat way we know what they try to do before getting an ass whopp'en!
Well... I'm really looking forward to the next update!
1617678
For Faith and Doubt I tried twice with betas and both times it didn't work out, which is why I am going betaless. Some chapters will be better than others, depending on how much time I put in the final beta read before posting it.
That said, I wasn't insulted in the slightest by anything you said and I again thank you for taking the time to post the errors and I hope you continue to do so (it was a huge help!). I just wanted you to know why I didn't do EVERYTHING you said (trust me, I have actually had people PM me, enraged I didn't change things to 'fix' all the errors they found).
1617823
If this were anime, Spike would be my Tony Tony Chopper.
1618030
that really made me laugh!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
1618030
Don't worry about explaining yourself, dunno WHY I didn't say this before exactly, but understand if you choose to keep things the way you put them originally, at least if it's your own preference or belief that it's correct. And well, I DID consider PM'ing you the possible corrections, even after I already had submitted it in original review and not a later edit. Was debating before went to sleep about if should erase and PM it instead, even if some people may have already seen them, but decided to stick with it and could erase later (maybe will do so now). Maybe I'll do that from now on, at least if I feel there's a lot for your works, only kept it maybe cause my review was a bit short compared to normal? This is the last message I shall needlessly(?) send as far as on this chapter goes. Shall await time until the next chapter, if comes out in two days in the morning (at least for me, when it's usually submitted to the site).
1618324
Nah, keep it up. I have no problem if people see my errors.
Good chapter and an interesting idea with Spike.
1618363
*sighs* Well, I kind of already deleted it, but after a bit of hassle and rereading, sort of rewrote it (at least I think all of it, from the time), though maybe smaller or with different words/explanations than before. I SWORE I copied it all though, in case you or someone else said to keep it, but either I somehow accidentally copied a link of page I have up or did it intentionally without safe-copying it elsewhere, but think it was more an accident. Tried to find it in a previous version of the page when viewed a response to one of my quite a few reviews on this chapter, like TheMyth in previous ones on Faith and Doubt (even though those were more to other people than you).
1618870
Don't worry about it! Seriously... I already made all the changes I am going too... I just didn't want you to feel like you HAD to delete it.
You are worrying over nothing. No big deal.