Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way
-Frank Sinatra, My Way
Scootaloo.
The warrior standing in front of the inn was Scootaloo.
It was like she had been struck in the gut. Twilight just kept staring at the tall, elegant mare, trying to make her brain lock onto the fact that this was Scootaloo. Twilight could see the little filly so well in her mind's eye: her spiky purple hair, her tiny little wings buzzing as she rode her scooter around, a look of determination that seemed to be forever on her face.
None of that could be found on the mare before her. Oh, her mane was purple and her coat orange but the attitude and the body language was all wrong. This mare that wore Scootaloo's face was more likely to sneer than she was to roll her eyes. The youthful joy had been cut out of her and replaced with a determined look that spoke of a hard life and a harder will. It was… a perversion, a twisting of something small and innocent into something horrible.
Rainbow Dash and her friends had experimented on her, using banned magic to accelerate her growth and make her their loyal attack dog. Now, the orange mare stood before the inn, shouting at the window. She knew Twilight, Shining and Spike were holed up in there, demanding the stallion come out before they ripped him out.
"We need to run," Shining whispered, creeping towards the door. "We can't take on Scootaloo."
The baby dragon gave Shining a cold look. "Come on, it's Scootaloo! I think we can manage!" Spike complained.
"The Queens altered her... she is different from the rest. They gave her strength and endurance. Her armor is enchanted too, to resist spells. I saw one of the unicorns from Celestia’s school take her on… a powerful one and… Scootaloo just crushed him. Laughed as his spells bounced off her and then stomped him into the ground till he couldn’t move."
“But that’s why you came to get us, remember?” Spike prodded.
Shining Armor was by no means a coward but he had been trained to understand his limitations. He had seen first hoof the terrible power wielded by the converted Cutie Mark Crusaders and he knew that against even one he stood little chance. Even though he knew in his heart of hearts that Twilight by herself could easily take on this version of Scootaloo and together with him it would be no contest… the memories of all the horrors he had seen the queens and their guards perform had left him with his flight or fight response firmly entrenched in ‘flight’. He knew this… he understood this… and yet he couldn’t fight the reaction. It made him sick to his stomach but… but he was scared. Scared he would be wrong and Twilight would fall just as all others had and he would have to watch them convert his baby sister.
"She'll take us down. We need to fall back and prepare-"
"No."
"Twilight?" Shining asked.
"No," Twilight repeated. Her body trembled with rage. "They don't get to do this." Her left eye lost all color while the right darkened into the deepest of obsidian. Her magic began to flare around her and the feathers on her wings shifted from purple to black and white. Her mane extended and the stars that were braided through the darkening strands began to streak across it. Dark and light magic swirled around her horn as Twilight set her jaw. She seemed taller, more noble, and in that instant the fear Shining had felt was chased away; the alicorn of the stars was on his side. "This is my home too... and no pony is driving me away. Spike."
"Right," the baby dragon said, clamoring onto his friend's back, his own face grim and determined. Something flashed in his eyes and Shining Armor was startled by the power that seemed to lay hidden within their depths.
"Shining, stay behind us. Don't interfere." Before the stallion could protest Twilight surrounded them in an orb of darkness. When it popped Shining flared his magic, backing away from the smirking Scootaloo. He had faced many dangers and was braver than most ponies... but he remembered well the terrible things Scootaloo and her boys had done to his fellow soldiers and he had no desire to get anywhere near her. It was a war of fear and bravery… Scootaloo vs. Twilight.
Twilight... smiled.
"Hello Scootaloo..." Twilight said, utterly polite. She might as well have been greeting the enchanted mare at the side of the road. She took a step forward and nodded to the guards. "I'm back."
Scootaloo was genuinely surprised to see Twilight standing there, though she did well to school her features before anyone could call her out on it. "We'd forgotten you were coming. All of us knew you would return... but we thought we had time." She took a step forward, keeping her wings spread wide as she spoke. Twilight could sense the wards woven around her armor, protecting the orange pegasus from anything Twilight might throw at her.
It was weird… Scootaloo seemed to suddenly find her gameplan altered and she was struggling to find her footing. Twilight had seen flashes of shock, fear, and… admiration? Yes… yes. Scootaloo had looked at her for the briefest of moments like so many had looked upon Princess Celestia.
"Twilight Sparkle... you have been found guilty of corruption by the rogue abstract known as Doubt.” Twilight raised an eyebrow at that. “But you are not to blame for your actions or your fall. My stallions and I have been commanded to bring you before the queens, so they might purify you and open your eyes to the glories of harmony once more. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to take your place as the 6th queen and help in ushering in the golden age of Equestria." Scootaloo’s gaze drifted onto Shining Armor. “Your brother… has betrayed Equestria… once you are cured you will decide his punishment. Then, you will help the queens hunt down Doubt.”
"Sorry, but no. On so many levels and on so many of your comments... no." Twilight said. She flashed a dark smile and for a moment Scootaloo felt a sense of dread. "And by the way, I kicked your favorite Queen's flank across the night club, so you aren't going to be much of a challenge."
"Uh, Twiley... could you maybe not taunt the guards that want to beat me up?" Shining hissed.
"Don't be a fool," Scootaloo snapped. The dismissal had clearly stung and now Scootaloo was pissed. Though she was several inches shorter than Twilight she still managed to hold her head up and find a way to look down her nose at the purple alicorn. "You have no hope of defeating us. We have harmony and justice on our side... what do you have? A baby dragon and a traitor. Even with your wicked powers you will not be able to stand up to all of us. You are truly alone."
"Is that so?" a voice purred in Scootaloo's ears. “How interesting.”
The orange mare looked about, trying to spot the intruder that had spoken. It had felt as if the voice were coming from her very soul, taunting and teasing her. When she found no pony standing at her side she turned back towards Twilight, glaring at her. "Your cheap little tricks don't mean a thing to us! They are nothing compared to the power of the queens!"
"Oh, it's no trick," Twilight said with a slightly bemused look on her face.
"Indeed," the voice whispered. "My dear Scootaloo, you have made so many mistakes... so many missteps in your short life. Would you like to hear about some of them? We have the time."
Scootaloo began to whip around, searching out the mysterious voice. A bit of her old self leaked out, like light shining through a crack. "Show yourself, lame brain! Show yourself and I promise I won't hurt Twilight!"
"Oh, resorting to threats now?" the voice teased. "My sad little Scootaloo... always trying to prove herself... always biting off more than she can chew. You are always so blind to what is around you. You are much too focused on what lies in the distance that you can not see what is right in front of your nose!"
Scootaloo looked down her snout, expecting her heckler to be standing on the tip of her nose, waving. Instead she found nothing at all.
"I was referring to other things, my dear," the voice said drolly. "Though… I am not surprised you fell for such a cheap joke. You weren’t very bright as a child and now it is clear when the queens grew your body they left your mind very small. Now then, hold that cross-eyed pose for a bit... it so reflects your natural mindset."
"I am going to kill you... I swear by the queen I am going to kill your lame, annoying behind!"
"Gasp!" the voice taunted. "So many have tried... so many have failed. But let us not forget our main topic of discussion: your many failings. I can't help but notice you remain a blank flank." The entity clicked his tongue, chiding her. "Poor, poor Scootaloo... you have been made an adult and still you fail to find your true talent; such a pity."
"I know my talent!" Scootaloo shouted. "I serve Queen Rainbow Dash, the most awesome queen ever to exist! I am her number one fan and her number one soldier! I will have your head on a spike and-"
"She'll finally notice you?" the voice whispered. "That's it, isn't it? You are so desperate to win her approval that you go against your very nature. You try to be like her but even you, in your heart of hearts... know that it is a poor imitation." That one hit home. “Oh yes… such a poor job. Like a wolf trying to pretend to be an ewe. Or perhaps the other way around, considering who you are, my little chicken, and who you long to be.”
"Shut up," Scootaloo whispered. Twilight swore she saw a tear fall from Scootaloo’s eye. "You don't know me."
"Not all of you, I will admit. I do know what you fear... and more than that... I know your doubts."
"Enough of this!" one of Scootaloo's stallions called out. "The corrupted element is using some parlor tricks to influence the captain." The armored guard took a step forward, wings flared. "Strike Twilight Sparkle down and knock her out... we only need her alive-"
The guard let out a cry of pain as a silver bolt of energy crashed from the heavens, striking him down where he stood. He pained and wheezed, falling to his knees and all looked to the sky.
"But the gravest of your mistakes..."
There was a great whoosh and from the sky a gray alicorn slammed into the ground, his white metallic wings shining as he slowly stood up. His black and white mane hung down his brow and his long horn gleamed in the sunlight. The new arrival took a step forward and silver magic began to swirl about him.
"...was believing Twilight was alone," Faith said darkly. Twilight moved to stand beside him. "She is NEVER alone... and for threatening her I will show you the TRUE power of an element of harmony."
"About time," Twilight muttered. "I thought you were never going to stop talking."
"I love to monologue... a holdover from my more villainous days."
"I thought you were more of an anti-hero," Spike said.
Scootaloo shook her head, the despair Faith had infected her with draining away as she came to her senses. "It's Doubt!"
"Faith, actually, but I can see where you got confused. Doubt was more stallion like…" He blinked, considering something before casually turning to Spike. “Is Faith a girl’s name?”
“Maybe a little,” Spike admitted.
“Bugger.” The silver alicorn looked at all the angry stallions that stood before him and the rest of the group. "Always getting in trouble, my dear Twilight."
"Well, I did learn from you," Twilight said sweetly.
"Gag me," Spike muttered. “Could you two not flirt?”
“We aren’t flirting,” the two said at the same time.
"Kill them!" Scootaloo screamed.
"Well then... talk later?" Twilight said.
"But of course," Faith said, wings flaring out as he prepared for battle.
And thus Faith returns.
As the story now shifts so too much the characters. Spike begins to take a more active role, Twilight no longer pities herself but moves to be more proactive, Shining struggles to overcome the horrors of the last two months...
And Faith's role is no longer of corrupter. Yes, he does alot of taunting here... but as you will see, Faith is slowly going to take the role of Wise Old Man, offering advice to Twilight and her friends as they work to undo all that has happened.
Oh, and a tease... if you are a fan of Spike... get ready for the next chapter, which reveals something new about the dragon that I think all of you will like.
Blank Flank Blank Flank...... Poor scoots.
But I *TRUSTED* you
Excellant chapter! I'm looking forward to seeing the next one!
Can't wait for the curb stomping to begin!
*reads description. coup.*
Wat.
Hmm... Spike being some kind of cataclyst? Everyone knew Spike and loved him the way he was. Perhaps he is the one that can bring back the feelings that they lost.
I wanna see this curb stomping and hopefully Scoots will come to her senses anyways cant wait for the next chapter
Speaking of Spike, did you like the season 3 premiere, defender2222?
Uh-huh. Right. This should be good.
I loved this chapter. Faith made a nice reappearance. I look forward to the next installment.
1603908 Yeah, caught that little hint when the two of them got into battle mode.
Congratulations, with those two chapters you have joined to the Scootabuse ranks in the categories of Implied Scootabuse and psychological Scootabuse!
to Faith, fighting Scootaloo will be like killing a chicken by snaping its neck
Poor Scoots...
1603968
It was... ok. Not the greatest but ok.
1603969
I am not shipping Faith and Twilight but I do love playing with the idea that every pony thinks they are together.
Loving faith in this chapter!
1604006
I loved it purely because of Spike. Seeing him getting his hero moment made me squee like a schoolgirl with a crush. I also loved Sombra. I know a lot of people find him bland, but for me he was really one of the best villains we ever had. All because he's a normal, mortal unicorn, not a fallen alicorn, a spirit of chaos or a cockroach queen. He was a pony, born an innocent foal, and still he became a total monster that enslaved his fellow ponies. That just made him seem all the more evil. For me, Sombra is what Twilight, or any pony really, could become if they aren't careful. He kind of made me think of Twilight in "Faith and Doubt", to be honest.
throw
across nightclub
Good job. Scoots doesn't have a chance, does she?
Woops!
Veeeererrrrrryyyyyyyye nice new chapter by the way.
Faith is like a good version of Discord... well, anti hero version. He is snarky and loves to talk. And he has the power to back up his words! Yet doesn't want to take over the world in a sprawl of chaos.
I am loving the new Twilight. She is confident, maybe a little cocky... but oh so badass that I don't care.
Shining is a broken bird...will be interesting watching him heal.
I want to see how powerful Spike is now! Woo!
Good chapter Defender!
Very intriguing!
the memories of all the horrors he had seen the queens and their guards
My stallions and I have been commanded to bring you before the queens
will you be allowed to take your place as the 6th queen and help in ushering in the golden age of Equestria
you will help the queens hunt down Doubt.
They are nothing compared to the power of the queens!
it is clear when the queens grew your body
I swear by the queen I am going to kill If you're going to capitalize Queen(s) earlier, be consistent and capitalize these as well. Alternately, never capitalize it.
protecting the orange pegasus from anything Twilight might through at her. throw
And by the way, I kicked your favorite Queen's flank acorss the night club, so you aren't going to be much of a challenge. across a
TRUE power of an element of harmony Elements of Harmony are a name and should be capitalized
Could you too not flirt two
Grammar aside, things are starting to pick up now and I feel rather bad for Scootaloo.
I always love how ponies think they can beat Twilight.
Yea sure Scootaloo is made stronger and has magic repelling armor.
She is fighting against the alicorn of start who always has faith to protect her. Or did they forget that last part? xD
Gah! I love this but at the same time it makes me cringe while reading. So much corruption and so many elements of wrong in that world. I want to see it cleansed for all it's worth but I also cringe at how bad it has become. I don't think there has ever been a story where I want to see Twilight go and fuck up her friends for something but this story...this story makes me just want to yell at these "Elements of Harmonry" while Twilight beats them senseless.
This best sums up my thoughts...more or less
ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i49/5/4/27/frabz-So-youre-a-gangsta-for-life-Motherfucker-please-Make-one-motherf-9e20db.jpg
Faith finally reappears and I enjoyed his interaction with Twilight with Spike thinking they are together. Good chapter and still waiting for them to fight Scootaloo.
1604006
While this takes away some d'aww possibilities, it allows for a lot more comedy. I'm all for it.
1604018
I'd have to agree with you on the potential there. The idea of King Sombra is probably that the dark magic he used is the true evil there. It should be interesting to see how that affects future episodes.
1604018
I do wonder how he gained that much power, though. He was pretty awesome for the short time that he had.
cant wait to see all the curb stomp victories twilight will have against the queens
Just had a thought–when does loyalty become slavery?
I'm not sure if I like this. These characters seem to have no......warmth I think is the best word. Wasting time on flippancy, cruelty and show boating rather than just doing what needs to be done is seldom a good sign in protagonists and often a fatal flaw in antagonists. One should not make light of a tragedy and certainly not derive pleasure from it.
What is more I can't help but wonder why Twilight has not so far given any thought to the well being of her mother and father. Surely they should be among the first that come to mind in a situation such as this?
Frankly there is something about this Twilight that screams "I need to be taken down a peg or two!", something which I'll admit is a fairly novel quality as far as most fanfic representations of her go but is still unpleasant and grossly out of character for her. Twilights sense of humility and empathy were always amongst her most endearing and defining traits but there is almost nothing of those or any of the other qualities that define Twilight in this version. She is a self centered, domineering, border line bully. I mean the first thing she says as a reason to stand and fight is "This is MY home too... and no pony is driving ME away.". Not for a sense of justice, not out of tactical logistics, not to help Scootaloo or any of the other enslaved/enchanted guards but out of rather self involved and prideful outrage.
No offense but I think I prefer your purely humourous stories. Jerk-assery and comedic sociopathy are most enjoyable when you are not supposed to take things too seriously. Especially when the characters being used are ponies.
It is really awesome that you're making so many chapters so frequently but if they're all going to end up being this short, could you please take the extra time to make longer chapters rather than really frequent updates? If you can, thanks.
Spike is a hero all the way
1604247
In an word... no.
I write how much i want to. I'd prefer to write shorter chapters and put them out sooner than to delay chapters just so I can go "look, it is really long"
Also, i have a pet peeve with long chapters... heck, there was a chapter of one story on here that was 20,000 words long. I'm not going to slog through that mess.
So no. Short chapters, quick turn around.
1604279
Good answer. I look forward to more of this story.
well, this is going to be good
"but I can where", a see is missing.
Excellent chapter as always. Love the psychological warfare that Faith is adapt at. Also can't wait to see who The Voice is. Someone who can trick the elements of harmony to go beyond their station, seems a bit ancient. Will it be an OC or a known character from canon? Seeing the low number of canon villains that can be used, I'm thinking OC. With that said, I know you will make him/her a truly unique character
As always, keep up the good work!
1603908
I don't know. I almost feel like this should end with Twilight dying because of a simple misunderstanding.
"About time," Twilight muttered. "I thought you were never going to stop talking."
"I love to monologue... a holdover from my more villainous days."
"I thought you were more of an anti-hero," Spike said.
Wonderful. Absolutely Wonderful.
So I suppose Faith/Doubt is half-and-half now? There to both instill doubt and faith when appropriate? Hmmm... No complaints.
I want to see what you do with the whole corrupting elements thing. A word of advice, your choice whether or not to follow it. Proceed with caution. As I've commented earlier, you are using a TON of cliches and overused tropes in this story. Nothing wrong with that, it's just that I know you can write well and I would hate to see this story fail. Don't succumb to the easiest "LOGICAL EXTENSION OF THEIR ELEMENT!"
And PLEASE tell me the brainwashing isn't true brainwashing? Please tell me they just took the Discord route and exploited flaws in their character traits to corrupt them? Because if otherwise, I'm going to have to call foul.
A pair of uber alicorn a against one amped up blank flank and some knights... Oh this is gonna be a regal ads kicking.
1604644
And as I have calmly said several times now, you see one you let me know. I write these for free, I might remind you, so unless you are going to pay for a beta reader, typos will occur.
This was fun.
I look forward to seeing more of you "not shipping twilight and faith but having everyone else assume they're together."
I'm also wondering if maybe Twilight mastered some sort of growth spell so that we can have a "'We have a battalion.' 'We have a Spike.'" moment.
Also, I assume you meant for Celestia and Luna to look like any other mares, but I can't stop seeing them as essentially being the same only without horns or wings. That said, it'll be fun to see what Twilight's reaction is when she sees them. And I'm sure she will. Right?
Oh, the "Is 'Faith' a girl's name" bit was great. Nice to see a bit of the humor from your other stories here.
1603908 I never thought I'd say this, but... Me Gusta. It's hard to find a fic wear Spike wears some pants.
1603936 indeed
The way that Faith and Twilight banter reminds me of how the Doctor and River Song banter with each other. I like it.
1603926 That reminds me of the line from Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince "Snape! He TRUSTED you!" which is what Harry yells to Snape as he's running away after 'killing' Dumbledore!
TWILIGHT AND FAITH, SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1604217
defender, I think you'd better add this within the next chapter(Or even better, add a section in Chapter Three based on this subject), because this is a very good point. After asking about Cadence, one would think Twilight would ask about her parents. Yet in this, she hasn't done so, which is very illogical unless she hated her parents(And based on the evens in Faith and Doubt, she does not feel that way).
1603908
An awesome Spike that is still Spike the Smartass?
Well, was honestly not looking forward to this chapter, I guess cause happiness of Season 3 premiere has kinda worn off. But I see you decided to wait on prolonging the butt-kicking Twilight and the others plan on giving to Scootaloo and her lackeys.
Faith's reintroduction into the series was fun, I figured it was likely him rattling around Scootaloo's head or taunting from a distance while remaining unseen. Glad to see he still has that kind of pull... though not much good it might do him now, if Scootaloo's seen him or others report back about him. I'm starting to warm up to this story, though know it's probably gonna get even uglier later on and still a little disheartened by how much of a mess this is going to be, just cause of a simple misunderstanding or lack of information. Still wondering what the other CMC turned out like, but I'm guessing they'll all be like Scootaloo, maybe. Loyal to their sisters (since two are related to two of the three CMC)/favorite queen and even blank-flanks. Was surprised at that, but guess I shouldn't be, a brainwashed experiment can't have found their talent that way after all.
One error you fixed wrong based upon earlier review:
Should be can see.
Others include:
Unnecessary y in that word, should be The with how you wrote that sentence.
Should be convert. Covert means secret, like in covert agent.
Think that's supposed to be shock.
Missing an apostrophe from that word.
Not sure if should be an instead of a here, cause of general rule with a/an when it's before a word beginning with consonant or vowel, at least in most cases.
Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter, I guess again with little more feeling than previous chapters. Though whether I'll feel the same when it comes out and ready to read it, can't say.
Well Scootaloo you officaly made the biggest mistake ever...first you go t o fight a fully powered Alicorn of Dark and Light magic who basicly could've razed Equestria on her first tour of it... then you underestimate her allies by asuming she doesnt have gained allies in her travels... or she kept old friends. Then you forgot one simple thing dear Scootaloo... Wild Chicken can easly be the fighters...but never Warriors and I wish you luck surviviing~! *runs away*
Brillient work good sir. I feel those logn chaptyers are a double edged sword has its advantages and disadvantages like the short many chapters BUT I happen to favor what your doing here alot more than others much easyer to read. Thank you.
May a gentle breeze guide you home, and a warm smile to keep you from Sorrow's Cold.
1604020 You don't say?