Apple Bloom comes home late from crusading afraid of being punished for being gone so long. The next morning, her concerns quickly shift when she can't find her family... or anypony else. Are they all out looking for her and her friends, or has something gone terribly wrong? And what is that sound that keeps getting closer?
A prequel of sorts to Twilight's Library.
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Wow! Great story!
A little more detail could be used but overall, five mustaches
Just reading the description, I'm getting a weird Langoliers vibe...
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/16/1310585508337_display.jpg
Errrm. What?
Let me recap:
AB comes home.
Everypony is gone.
Pinkie has something to do with it.
Gummy has teeth.
Real "You Awaken in Razor Hill" vibes here, only without the tongue-in-cheek humor.
And Gummy scares me now.
Liked and followed.
IT'S A SUPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTFOR APPLEBLOOM
1556428 No, its "National-No-AppleBloom" Day
*sees the story is marked "incomplete"*
*tags for more*
But really, she's probably having a nightmare.
Reminds me of a night mare world landscape i had when i was little... one of the things was a sound that's when you got closerr to it you would die for no reason
*edit* i didn't read the story yet
I have not opened the story to read, but the first thing that popped into my head from the description was:
The Langoliers
Pinkamena is back!
IT MUST BE ZOMBIES or not but it is interesting
Gummy ate the Ponies
I can't help but notice the 'Incomplete' word under the first chapter. Will there be more? This kinda struck me as a one-shot.
1558292 Why yes, there is more. Kinda. Barely. Aaaand... there it is.
And the troll train stops at the station.
Didn't see that coming. Nice.
Hey girls, let's see if you get cutie marks in staying up all night.
1556076 Thanks! I agree it could have used a bit more detail, but I have a tendency to be too much of a perfectionist; if I'd waited until I thought it was just right I never would have published it.
1556136 1557072 I was not familiar with The Langoliers, but I must say it's pretty cool to have my first published story compared to Stephen King.
1557885 Cool! Sometimes Dark can be fun! ...and sometimes it's just frightening.
1556145 Your comment made my day!
Thanks for reading, everyone. Now credit where credit is due. I would not have written this story if my brother hadn't asked me, "What if Gummy had teeth?" He also made a couple suggestions for revisions when he read my first draft.
Overall, I feel this is not bad for a first fic.
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This ending pissed me off. You have no Idea how SICK I am of having perfectly good grimdark stories get ruined by a crappy "epilogue". If you had finished the story at gummy, It would have been far more horrifying. Wondering what the hell happened is ALWAYS going to be more frightening than actually knowing.
Especially if it was all just a stupid "campfire ghost story"
1561159 That's why I put it in there as an epilogue rather than part of the actual story. For those who are satisfied with the ending of the story, all well and good, but for those who desperately need to know what was really going on, have an epilogue.
...and Pinkie Pie scaring the girls far more than my story did.
1561174 But thats the thing; not having any sort of conclusion causes the reader to think about it for far longer than they actually should. Thats where the real scares come from. Trying to piece together for yourself just what happened. How about your next darkfic has a sudden cliffhanger with no explanation hm?
1561188 If I do write another one, I'll probably leave it as a cliffhanger.
I had written all of this one before I posted any of it, I just left the epilogue unpublished for a day to put the fear of Gummy into the first readers. Honestly, the idea of Gummy eating everypony was creeping me out enough I wrote the epilogue more for me than anyone else...
1561174
Might want to put that as a warning at the beginning of the chapter.
1561317 Good point, thanks. Added a note to the beginning of the epilogue.
Cupcakes...?
CUPCAKES?!
*Goes all Nostalia Critic Bat Credit Card*
Great ending!
Actually, I prefer this ending. Not because the previous one was too grimdark but because it would have broken my suspension of disbelief that Gummy could have just up and eaten everypony - even with proper teeth, and assuming nopony tried fighting back. They just wouldn't fit in there! :) But this is exactly the sort of scary story that a filly would tell her friends when trying to get a scary story telling cutie mark.
I'm ok with both endings.
Welp.
Pinkie Pie should know better than to tell the CMC cupcakes. At best it could traumatize them, at worst it could give them ideas.
2362687 Eeyup. At first, I was intending it to be just a joke. Then I decided that this could be in the same continuity as Twilight's Library. And therefore the sequel. It's changed my plans somewhat.
I like it but this just feels like she's having a nightmare...
Huh. Didn't see that coming
Nice story and satisfying ending.