The Rock Farm

TypewriterError

TypewriterError #1 · Oct 13th, 2012 · · ·

Reply

quite unexpected. I like it

reader238

reader238 #2 · Oct 13th, 2012 · · ·

Reply

hmm interesting

DaveTheBrony

DaveTheBrony #3 · Oct 13th, 2012 · · ·

Reply

Totally did not see that coming.

Burraku_Pansa

Burraku_Pansa #4 · Oct 13th, 2012 · · ·

Reply

Very good, but this is not a comedy. I'd sooner tag it Dark than Comedy... though I still probably wouldn't tag it Dark.

aoirann

aoirann #5 · Oct 13th, 2012 · · ·

Reply

So they keep dumping rocks into Discord's power source? I suppose that Celestia makes sure they're taken care of.

BenRG

BenRG #6 · Oct 13th, 2012 · · ·

Reply

Now that was unexpected! The Pies are helping contain a dimensional access to the Deep Well? It would explain how Pinkie were able to shrug off Nightmare Moon's illusionary horrors if she'd faced real cthonic horrors on her one trip up to the Hellmouth. Of course, Pinkie has gone on to be an even greater force in the fight against Chaos, hasn't she? I wonder if her family know?

Nice bit of creative writing. I particularly liked your suggestion that "giggle at the ghosties" was an old Pie family motto rather than something Pinkie made up.

Pixels

Pixels #7 · Oct 13th, 2012 · · ·

Reply

Wow. Wow. Wow.
I...
Wow.

WOWtrooper

WOWtrooper #8 · Oct 13th, 2012 · · ·

Reply

img.photobucket.com/albums/v318/kennypete/5XKF.gif
nicely done sir

Jayellow

Jayellow #9 · Jan 14th, 2013 · · ·

Reply

I believe you ordered a review from: Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: The Rock Farm

Grammar score out of 10: 9 There were a few lines that just rubbed me wrong.

Pros:

Explored a concept that isn’t well explained.

Despite it’s short length, the characters did not feel flat.

The idea presented didn’t grate against the canon.

Cons:

The ending felt abrupt.

Some more explanation on the pit and its effects would have been nice.

The story felt somewhat dry.

Notes Section:

I don’t actually have a whole lot to say here. About the ending, though, I do have some explaining to do. The whole story detailed Inky going to the pit, but the end just sent her home in a few paragraphs. I realize that the story was more about the journey there, rather than the journey back, but there were some things that could have been explored there. Such as, her thoughts on the pit, or perhaps some more of her feelings on Pinkie Pie.

About the dryness, there isn’t much to do. A little bit more “show, don’t tell” may have helped. Overall, though, I did enjoy this story. You earned a favorite and an up vote from me, for sure.

Enjoy your review! I‘d really appreciate if you took a look at my story: Que Sera, Sera

PoniesAreBrilliant

PoniesAreBrilliant #10 · Apr 7th, 2013 · · ·

Reply

This review was brought to you impart by: Authors Helping Authors.

Name of Story: You do know the name of your own story right?

Grammar score out of 10: 8.5 out of 10, would grammar again. Really though, there was just a few small errors here and there, and maybe a awkward sentence of two, nothing to worry about.

Pros:

The idea for the story was quite original and refreshing.

The randomness was overwhelming.

Inky was exactly like what I would expect Pinkie pie's little sister to be, despite her never having a cannon personality.

Cons:

The beginning of the story was far to boring for me to comprehend.

The description of everything was a little lacking.

Sometimes I became confused as to what was going on in this story.

Notes Section:

Despite the minor confusion and weak description I really did like this story, once Inky left the farm anyway. It's just the beginning of the story was not quite what I would expect a random story to be. Maybe consider adding a slice of life tag to this story, because that's more along the lines of what I thought it was like before reality collapsed anyway.

Enjoy the review, and if you would be willing to return the favor you could write a review for my story: Litter duty. It's a comedy about derpy picking up trash, fighting crime, and generally being a huge not-help.

KuroiTsubasaTenshi