- Member Since 20th Jan, 2021
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
PegPony
I like writing stories but I'm also a kinky fetishistic loser, that's all you need to know really.
PegPony
Joined 20th Jan, 2021 ·
Offline
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I have ponies reach 30 legal maturity, so 18 would still be arguably foalcon
What fun, but some more fluff would have been nice:
camo.fimfiction.net/UW9Rvk-HLFkC_Ec1-OPveWPltX68GOJk90M7wwZfvvM?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.postimg.cc%2FJnsWqFq4%2Fcattle.jpg
Great clop
Maybe the brother could show the sisters some teamwork
BBM =?
Zecora suddenly appeared:
"It is not ok, to swipe a potion without to pay!
Now you have to pay and bed me as bonus lay!"
*Rumble got milked dry that day*
The -end
please add “love potions” and Narcotics in descriptions
11897372
Colt’s milk as many useful applications in potions!
11897500
I made it in one of my stories lore
camo.fimfiction.net/zi_gSFbYX4V5tJS7z8os1Rr5oM8uTPOi_PFhsfAypw4?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.girlgeniusonline.com%2Fggmain%2Fstrips%2Fggmain20160422.jpg
Because Tea is awesome.
Thanks so much for writing this!
We've all been there. Heh. 
Rumble, you little rascal.
11897349
BBM = BIg Beautiful Mare
11897954
You're welcome :)
11897494
Done
I don't mind foalcon, quite the contrary, but this fic is all over the place with the writing style and setting. There's barely any descriptions of environments and it feels like a draft more than a finished story. It's almost all explaining and telling with very little showing of what the characters think, feel and sense. Typos abound, and I think it's quite egregious that even a chapter title has a spelling mistake. I suggest you go through the story again and add more detail, fluff, sensory descriptions and slow down the pace a bit. And if you don't want to work on a fic you already finished, maybe try those with your next story?
11898112
Thank you for your feedback, spelling is a constant problem for me which I am trying to improve, though my mental disability hinders me in that regard. As for the pace and setting etc. I have no excuse for that, I'm capable of adding detail and while I may not do it for this story, I'll try to keep it in mind for future stories. I will fix the chapter title.