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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This story needs conflicts. Have Shade at least argue with somebody for more than one chapter or have him face a non-research related problem. Have him chase entropy, I don't remember if it is a male, maybe make that bird iteract with Philomena. Or maybe make Celestia find out about Shade's training, wouldn't that on top of him getting job as a griffonian translator look suspicious? Come on blue.... come up with something pretty please.
11875015
Even just having him talk to the princess or Twilight more would be nice. The Princess HAS to be intrigued enough to be keeping an eye on an orphan colt with his skills.
11875015
11875045
Don't worry. I have things planed.
"That and it would be a nice change of pace, pulseplus the extra pay doesn't hurt either. I nod to Daisy."
"And I'll be looking for others to fill the job starting right now, so if you change your mind I can probably find sopmepony to fill in for you if you change your mind."
"Well I've kept you from work long enough, so let's go inform Blasz and introduce you to Ruby."
Not a lot going on this chapter. I was kinda hoping someone got replaced and was gonna have a confrontation. Oh well.
Looking forward to more.
He is taking a random break ... ok where is the real Shade/j
11875053
Thank you.
Did you gave it any thought how tall he will be as an adult?
Not asking about how big as with his training and all he will be probably built like a brick shithouse.
I guess I'm just curious ๐ค
11875089
Yes I have, and the answer is about as tall as Big Mack. Maybe a little shorter.
11875267
Thank you for the advice.
11875015
Eh i think it's fine as is. There's clearly events incoming to make him either reconsider things or lament how he went about things. Basically conflict is long term not short term, and equestria seems to be a place to escape for a human.
134,618 words and 58 chapters in 69 days. Even if the grammar is slightly scuffed, the speed with which you write these is proof enough to show you have some serious talent. And you're getting better just as fast too- the grammar has gotten noticeably better over time.
Bluntly put, I didn't really understand why this was such a highly rated story before I started reading it. It raised classic red flags that I didn't ignore for the longest time- grammar so poor that it infects the title, HiE, first fic... It wasn't until two days ago after however many days of seeing it pop up on the home page time and time again that I got curious enough to give it a shot.
It's obviously a sort of power fantasy, but it's not in a hurry like so many others of its kind. You're willing to take the time to write about the mundane life of your characters and have the protagonist build up strength over time, making sure to show him learning about his powers and more common things.
What you have here is a gem. It's a little rough, flawed, unpolished, and maybe not the most valuable kind of gem either, but it's undeniably still a gem and its roughness feels more charming than anything else.
Amazing work.
11875395
Thank you.
Honestly when I started all this I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Hell I never even had a plan beyond the first chapter, I just had an idea that wouldn't leave me be. I've never written anything before at all, and I was doubting myself the whole time. But next thing I know I'm ten chapters in and have something resembling a story.
And ya at the start my grammar was just fucked, and honestly it still is. But I'm trying to improve a little bit at a time. And there was also times when I wanted to just walk away. But I think the thing that's kept me from just walking away is all the people that have helped me, so many and so much.
And now I've grown to love writing, and I'm just happy anyone is enjoying it. And I don't think I'll be going anywhere anytime soon.
But your not hear to listen to me spill my guts out. So I'll just leave it at this. Thank you for giving this half baked idea of a story that has grown beyond anything I could have ever imagined a chance.
:D
11875405
I seriously wish I had the skill to focus on writing a single story as often as you do. Iโve been scratching one and got about 13 chapters in 13 months. Tried publishing a few times but it never worked out. Grammar aside, itโs damned impressive. ๐๐
My money is on the changelings having that forest rigged with detection spells or scouts to alert them of passersby now. Shade, I recommend avoiding it until you can detect them, make friendly contact, or the Guard sweeps it.
Does Shade know any Prench or French?
Does the single emotion rune block the individual from feeling emotion or just from the emotion being emitted? If he can find one for fear or other such fight-or-flight responses, Iโd go with that, because blocking all emotions could make you more noticeable to a group of emotivores.
Later when he figures out changing a magics affinity, it might be better to convert the read emotion to calm or restlessness to cover any nervous ticks. Any spike could be consumed by the enchantment to fuel itself.
11875444
From how they were talking they won't have the time or resources to do more than a cursory investigation.
If they were able to detect the teleport they may report that and be on higher alert but if they couldn't notice the teleport they may just write it off as a strange random event.
I don't think he has anything particularly useful he can do with his current abilities emotion wise.
There's a few ways that could have been gone with it.
1. emotional mask basic, projects just the one emotion, probably unnoticeable in a group from a distance but would be noticed on closer inspection for being unchanging.
2. emotional blocker, block a particular emotion, maybe effective depends on how emotions work, if only one emotion is ever present blocking panic will result in a noticeable hole where there should be emotion.
3. emotional shield, blocks all emotions, would enable moving around changelings somewhat stealthily, you aren't invisible and they aren't blind but you basically just don't show up on their HUD, this also makes it blatantly obvious you're doing something weird if you do get noticed.
4. advanced emotional mask, projects a variety of emotions with enough complexity to pass even close scrutiny, far beyond shade's current abilities.
Really his current plan of just making it so he won't know (well generally, the event that caused this line of thinking resulted from something he overheard rather than something he detected) is his best option at the moment to avoid detection.
As long as (2.) blocking one emotion doesn't result in it being equivalent to a full block if that emotion occurs it could be a better option and also something he could reasonably achieve from his current state.
11875493 had an interesting 5th option which could mostly resolve the issues with 2. in the event blocking results in a hole, instead of blocking you just convert the unwanted emotions into something that could be expected.
Like the scene where he had to teleport out.
Did he have to teleport out because his emotions were noticed or Because his panic/fear specifically was noticed?
Accidentally publish? Says updated.
11875848
Yes sorry, it should be out later today.
11875850
Np just checking, I do it sometimes as well.
I think that might be backwards from the context. They do use it for trade and donโt want a book horse egghead job.
I'm waiting for Shade to find a book in ancient Draconian and read it perfectly, with it turning out to be English. :P
It's "ma'am", you're just taking out the d sound from "madam".
greatswords*
Honestly I just imagine him accidentally encountering Thorax and Befriend him, and than later on Thorax revealed his identity and hoping that his friend won't be scared of him.
But than he will be surprised ๐ฎ that he doesn't give a BUCK! on what he is or what he does and still be friends ๐งก I think ๐ค that situation would be hilarious ๐ the surprised look of his Face.