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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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11875927
Thank you.
Sooner or later, Sunny-D is going to appoint a therapist to him, and honestly, I think he might have a small anxiety problem, and it's only a matter of time before he sees shadows moving. I am not saying that it feels like he is going insane it just feels like his resolve will be tested sooner rather than later. Everyone has their breaking point. It doesn't feel like he is close. He doesn't talk to shadows yet ... well, except for Entropy, but she is best, Birb.
11875943
Yes, best birb.
11875943
I think that’s what their talking will be for. A way for him to vent on a few things others can’t know about.
...why am i shipping them. Stop shipping them brain!
I wonder if he's ever going to tell her he knows of a potential future? Either as a slip or whatever.
Very refreshing to see a main character that isn't holding the idiot ball with regard to Celestia.
I look forward to more.
Thanks for the updates!
Feels good that he is opening up. Even if it's Celestia. He needs an confidant and friend with who he can share "everything"
11876067
Damn, Celly deserves her happiness! Now that you mentioned shipping them, I can't get the idea out of my head
Ah! I thought he was going to show off his planet model, too. It’s not very practical, but it’s definitely impressive to warrant a private showing. Princess probably has a few desk distractions of her own like those clicking balls on strings.
The potential for the dwarven moon writing could be a fun way send secret messages. Keep at it, Shade.
I had to think about it, but I think Shade was right to wait to talk about what he found in the forest. While mentioning it would probably be very helpful for Equestria, he’d either have to lie to include something about an illusion or give away crucial details about his prior knowledge in that Shade knows about the reference to the “queen.” I think he played that well, but he may have to answer for the delay later.
11876208
I’ll ship. I did the math a while back, but each shipment of that tea comes out to a few decades of an average pony’s salary. That’s a pretty strong signal to make with just a gift. And Celestia has been around a while. She knows what a promising young prospect looks like. I think that’s a part of why she wants to monitor him more closely.
Also, she probably doesn’t want him succumbing to any negative influences like the paranoia or abandonment issues from being an orphan. Two for one.
Mc that is reasonable? Impossible.
This curreny this is the best chapter with dialogue in this story. You have done well!
I am half expecting Shade in few years to go to a desert, build an iron oak bunker there and test out destructive weaponary then get scared, eraze his evidence with life magic on site and teleport back home only to get send there two weeks later by Celestia with a small team of scientists to find out why did desert expand by dozen square kilometers and examine new oases that are totally not expolsion craters filled with plants.
Why yes I am oppresed with food, corporations' premade meals are either disgusting or are not filling enough, end with garbage food reign! I think you meant obsessed.
bother
Then again it's a foreign language sequence so it could be a quirk of the gryphon language or a mistake on the speakers part but I would expect a mistake more on shade's part than on celestia's who I would assume would be fluent.
11876274
I don't see him testing any of the more destructive stuff, he already knows it works on a small scale and has no reason to test it. That said I've read at least two fics that blew up the changeling hive but I don't see him doing that. Especially not after pointing out to celestia how easy stuff like that is to do.
At the same time I was surprised with celestia's reaction as she said she was also scared but only at first.
It reminded me of a couple of hfy stories I read where it's pointed out that anyone with a FTL ship can with moderate time and effort obliterate a planet if desired. That can't coexist in a world where people regularly blow themselves up as it becomes a statistical certainty.
Which really goes to show how staggeringly peaceful equestria is that it's that easy and yet never happens.
11876208
Why do i have a feeling this is somehow the princess of food's fault.
11876457
Now that you mention it 🤔
Pity I couldn't find one with cadance but oh well
cdn.twibooru.org/img/download/2020/7/14/640888.png
Oppressed? Should that be impressed, or appeased?
11876274
Thank you, and that is certainly an idea.
11876382
It is, Thank you
11876505
Thank you for pointing that out.
11876406
That is incorrect and I'll fix it, thanks.
Looks like I've finally caught up, as terms of story it's not bad by any means. you did say you have trouble describing Detail, and I know exactly what your talking about. that scene with Celestia asking him about his motivation sticks out to me, us as readers should know what motivates him but in this scene we are just in the dark about it as Celestia is now this can be good depending on how you use it but I feel we were in her point of view for that whole scene we connect more with Celestia than Shade in almost every scene she is in. this connects us to her because we all want to know more about him, her curiosity fuels ours. what connects us to Shade is his drive to improve but that's really it nothing else sticks out about him and I guess that's the point? this is where the problem with details come in you see we can connect with Celestia because we know her from a preconceived notion from G4 not to mention all the other fics she's in but this is the only story that has Shade, we need something to make him more tangible more relatable to connect with, like is he bitter about being an Orphan?
Does he just push his feelings out the window and refuse to acknowledge it? or does he really not care?
he could have asked Celestia if she had family, of course he knows about Luna but she doesn't know that suddenly they have common ground their both alone he could tell her
"I never had family so I don't know what it's like. I work so hard with Magic Because I was born an Earth Pony I always ask myself If I had been born a Unicorn would I have a family? Was I not good enough simply because I didn't have a horn? So I Push myself learn every single thing I can to prove that I was worthy of love."
this could have also played in on how he handled Velvet when he was asking about Spike. and I'm not saying you should change anything this is only for future reference to help you grow. I can give you Examples of how to write more details into your fic if that is what you wish. just keep in mind if writing more details makes writing less fun for you then don't change what your doing fics first and foremost should be fun to write for you. Even if things are less detailed I still have a lot of fun reading it and has kept me entertained enough to talk about it which doesn't happen often.
11876594
Thank you for the advice and reading.
Sorry if that seems short I'm not one to mince words.
11876598
It's all good I Understand.
Wait... the guards all have enchantment on armor to show as the same... that spell will always be on...
11876067
Supposedly she has visions so perhaps she may see one of him.
11876647
Thank you.
11876605
And he's got one on his bird anytime he goes out with her and it has no way to differentiate multiple sources or filter so it'd just be triggered the entire time.
Realistically he's gotten more use out of it than expected as as you mentioned the armor would trip it so he couldn't tell between a real guard and a fake guard unless they were out of uniform.
The question is if chrysalis is just desperate or plain crazy power hungry despot in this fiction. Although with this the wedding chapter will definitely be changed as Celestia won't be so quick to ignore twilight and be caught off guard.
11876654
Frist he doesn't take Entropy everywhere with him, although she is there a lot.
And second the bracelet was a long shot to begin with, hell he's just been wandering around and hoping for the best. That and Shade never knew if the bracelet would even work on a changeling. And as for guards? Well I never did state that their armor is enchanted, although I also never stated is wasn't.
I hope that explains some things.
A good chapter, with important dialogue. This will change some things, and lead into Shade finally bonding some more with Celestia. Though I must admit, I'm rather confused about why he hid the globe. Like, is it because he knows about the globe, the shape of the world, and doesn't expect other people to really know that? And thus would question how he knows? Because otherwise it would be a really cool thing to show Celestia. Or just others in general.
11876067
... I honestly felt it was going to lean that way, and/or was leaning that way already, quite a while ago. It's nice. A good Ship.
11876688
How many ponies know the world is round? Or even... IS that world round?
11876688
I think it's just because it's one of his projects that he's not ready to share yet.
As he doesn't know the actual layout it's just a cool knickknack that looks like a planet but not any specific one.
Now if he had recreated earth no one would be able to tell (aside from lyra maybe and possibly anyone who's from or been to EQG). If he recreated equis ponies might be able to recognize it, depends on available map scale and if globes are already readily available, I fully expect he'll show it once it's ready although aside from cool decoration factor i'm not really sure what use it has.
Might be something to look into if they already have globes or not and to what accuracy as if they do he can just make a better one of those.
11876724
I'd assume most of them since they seem to have a functioning school system and have a demigoddess that controls the sun and moon that should have a pretty decent understanding of all that to teach them.
11876732
There is also the possibility that the globe uses massive amounts of math instead of runes and he didn't want to show off that ability, if I remember correctly.
A researcher and librarian has the favor of a princess that is older then most of the books he works with and has YET to ask if she knows of/has any one of a kind books of runes? Really? Hopefully when I return, we can have fruitfull discourse of such things.
11876851
Pretty sure that's because his thing is getting rid of runes... Also maybe he doesn't want to impose on her?
11876883
Possibly more likely he doesn't want her asking questions he doesn't want to answer.
11876897
This one would be awfully easy to answer. He only need to remind her of his mark and tell her that he already found two runes and want to figure out the rest.
Something tells me spell there is intentionally incomplete and actually a test from Harmony similar to spellbook Celestia sent to Twilight in the show.
11877046
lol, I think I would be offended if a badly created spell was permanently stamped on my butt for all to see.
11877062
Same.
11877062
11877063
Well, incentive to finish it RIGHT THERE!
And kabloom, here's your wings and a horn. You didn't want them, you didn't want to stick out, but Harmony had a plan. Just. For. You.
Oh, and your mark got updated, sorry for the inconvenience.
I agree with some of the other comments. Definitely being tested and is going to come down with a case of sudden wing syndrome
11876803
If he mentioned that it was a detailed map of earth then he'd have reason to be paranoid as that'd draw questions but it's just a made up planet, no better than a knick knack so idk still weird to hide it.
I just made a comment about Shade getting some help from Celestia and here we are