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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Your date seems wrong. Unless they lost a day in a week that I didn't notice.
11905594
You are correct, it's supposed to be the twentieth, I'll fix it. Thanks. :}
11905606
Funnily enough I already have in the past, it helped and I'll probably run them through it again to see how it goes. I'm a bit better at using it now so I hope it improves more, Thanks for the suggestion.
Good to see our little introvert getting outside.
11905612
Yes It's small progress. Also congrats on 900 likes. :D
11905613
Thanks
I was kind of hoping Phelix would appear in the competition showcasing that Shade is not untraceable while giving us an update on what would usually be a brief background character.
11904712
Read the FIMfic "prey and the lamb" wonderful story and also the spoilers but the Mc does some voodoo magic where he grafts a tree onto another ponies Leg and it fuses with her becoming a sentient peg leg the works..... although perhaps not with the "will slowly drain their magic till they die" side effect.
Pretty much exactly what you are mentioning amd quite nifty.
11905671
Thanks for the suggestion. And as a rule of thumb many things in this world already have solutions, but those solutions are often imperfect.
In the authors note you said the word id twice and I think you meant is and in respectively
Also good chapter
Shade is still considered a colt? At what age does one become a stallion?
Shade doesn’t seem to encounter much of this kind of etiquette… It is nice that Shade gets out. Twilight probably doesn’t. Unless Celestia’s testing some socialization techniques out on Shade to see if they could help her student?
I am curious about why that guy was so upset at the onset…
11905719
Thank you.
surprised*
"supersized" is what fast food chain restaurants call convincing you to spend more for a larger portion of food
11905805
Ok that typo is pretty good. :] Thanks for catching it.
11905722
It depends on how he looks more then his actual age, he looks like a colt with a few differences between him and a full grown pony, so when he goes through puberty a bit more he'll probably be called colt less.
Good chapter
11905832
Thanks. :D
This was okay but the most interesting part was the last two contestants.
11905834
Fair enough.
Thanks for the update!
mmmm yesss
I have a few things to say about this chapter.
1. Probably give it a name, it's a bit awkward calling it "this spell" over and over.
Probably something simple like "Mason Jar's preservation spell" (and then you can include a fun little bit about "Mason" being the child of a stonemason and a jam maker or something lol) for example.
2. This is huge!
If the "this spell" spell can preserve food for weeks at room temperature, IMAGINE IF SHADE USED BOTH AT ONCE.
Refrigerating would probably increase that exponentially!
If the "this spell" spell can make food last 3 times as long, and refrigeration does the same, would that not be a 9* increase to shelf life?!
Also please note that there's a difference between refrigeration and freezing.
Freezing meet can cause the cells to burst and the meat to go bad and stuff, et cetera.
3. Now, hear me out...
That might not be the case.
The magic cost might not have to be that high.
If Shade figured out how to make a little air pump and a few one way valves using a little spinning rune or something.
He could just combine the "this spell" spell with regular refrigeration.
AND USE BOTH AT ONCE!
A refrigerant is just a fluid that gets boiled at a really low temperature, as far as i can tell, allowing for heat exchange (lets heat out when pressurized, absorbs heat when under vacuum).
Now, just to be clear, I'm not trying to explain refrigerators to you, the author.
What I'm trying to say is:
1. Shade is a smart colt that can probably figure this out on his own.
2. This is the perfect opportunity to finally flex his human knowledge.
dialogue*
The general dialogue does feel unnatural sometimes.
But you could always try to explain that all of it is being translated into English and the quirks are just the original syntax of the language peeking through the cracks or something, right?
Ah don't worry about it, I'm sure the dialogue will fix itself through practice! I can already see improvement.
one thing you should definitely try is having a character make a pun that makes absolutely no sense in English (because they don't speak English).
it would be a pretty fun little bit.
Great chapter btw.
11905921
I want to give it a name when it comes up. And I do know the difference between freezing and refrigeration.
And that's not a bad way to show that the straight up odd dialogue I make isn't just me being bad at making dialogue. Or not honestly it's not my strong suit.
I'm glad you liked it. :}
11905594
holy moly, that's a seriously keen eye you got there
Hmmm kinda interesting to see batponies pre luna here,unless I mismembered and they already were in the story. Just about 99.9999999% of fics make bat ponies this extinct species that nobody has heard of outside of legends amd then when Luna pops in, now all of a sudden they are en masses just everywhere, yet never mentioned.
11905722
I think the author mentioned he is about 11-12 and ponies in this world become "sexually mature" or go through puberty by 13 and become adults (for drinking) by 18.
11906010
A bat pony sells Shade his first piece of meat.
11905722
Also I don't think the author in the story so far has Celestia mentioned twilight or had anything connecting the two in any way in the story but I think he did mentioned anymore developments would be later. All twi does right now is make extremely rare appearances.
11906013
Really ? Can't believe I missed that
11906017
To be fair it's been a while and even I barely remembered it.
11906019
Ehh to be fair it's better than most authors who forget they even exist as a race outside of a baddass looking character or Luna (body)guards
11906021
I know right? They are interesting and add some thing of a night life to Equestira, pun intended.
11906014
in chapter 27
in chapter 61
where was it...
found it!
in chapter 41
she has, actually
11906030
Sorry my adhd makes me forget alot, can't believe I missed it but it still seems twi haven't gotten much screen time, be kinda interesting if because of dawn celestia sends twi to another town or just ponyville early so when nightmare moon pops up, Twiggles doesnt just go from a extremely anti social bookworm femcel bascially to someone who figured out what the elements of harmony means in a relatively shallow 1 day imo
. I'm still getting this story mixed up with dawns new day which is a similar fimfic, kinda gets me sometimes.
11906043
You're not the only who sometimes mixes up those two stories.
11906043
11906065
Honestly if it wasn't for that fact that I only started reading that story after starting this one I'd have added it the description as inspiration. Maybe I should know that I think about it, should I? I'm not sure about how that's handled on this site.
11906066
You can still add "partly inspired by"
Keep in mind just reading that tho will set expectations to the readers.
I say it's a good idea, simply because it gives exposure to more stories I like, because even "Dawns New Day" is inspired by "Life Finds a Way"
11906066
Story inspirations I'm pretty sure unless you did some hard copy and paste don't even need to be mentioned and the fact your story is unique enough should make it fine. Don't quote me thou I haven't been around the block enough to know all the rules
11906069
11906075
Thanks. :]
11906043
Ah, it's fine
I was just pointing it out for you
I'm only on chapter 54.5 of Dawn's new day
11906065
I nearly mixed up this fic with life finds a way a few times myself
almost referred to Shade as Cure like, three times so far
haven't mixed him up with Dawn though
Fun