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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice chapter. I should point out that the brown of Griffin text is DIFFICULT to read in dark mode.
11891414
Thanks, I'll see if a different color will work better.
11891420
Oh yah that orange is MUCH better.
11891449
👍
I think you meant trip not tip
I think you meant in not is
11891489
Thank you.
section?
Otherwise eww.
11891510
Thanks.
Shade did make a quill for Celestia. Does he have one for himself?
How is anypony supposed to identify a picture of a pony with no colors on it? Or mentioned? That could literally be anypony. *sigh* Those are your Guards, Princess.
I wonder if the gryphon knows any magic
Hmm... new Griffin friend? Seems the more polite sort compared to most. Wonder if they'll stick around...
11891571
I heard of anti magic runes made by the griffins in some stories. I know they put the rune on arrow to kill Celestia but they didn’t succeed.
11891696
Thank you.
Cute and light, yet there is a darker undertone at the beginning. Many are unaware of what is happening, living day by day, furtive and vulnerable like rats in a maze. Yet what of their ranks are they starving? The requirements of survival cannot be met on an empty stomach. After all, in the end, all need to eat. But let us not forget the ones that don't want to fight, if there are any at all. Surely, not all are full of thought about steel and war. Depending on what happens, one may even be able to start a revolution under a symbol of Freedom and New Hope. All they need is a spark for the wings of rebellion to soar in their hearts.
But no matter, in the end, these are just the ramblings of someone who may or may not have gone mad. He is no Fool, nor is he a trickster who is able to change fate. But a simple being. He may change some of the future and help prevent ruin, but in the end, he is not a chosen one or someone with extraordinary abilities. He is just an old soul with old memories trying to find his own place as a "quiet" rune scribe.
Thanks for the update!
11891765
First, you are by far the most ominous person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
And I think you've captured one of the main points of this story beautifully. In the end Shade is just a person. Someone with more information then most, and with the will and determination to do something about it his fate.
11891800
Thanks for the compliment. It helps when you have played way too much Persona 4 and 5 listening to long nose rubs off on one.
also darkest dungeon helpsEspecially when I have a Persona 5 displaced fic stuck in my head, and it is forcing its way into reality, making me binge-watch the show multiple times and do way too much research into cognition and myths, also making me think thoughts like. "If Celesea is a living leging would there be a shawdo/demon of her in mementos." and "Nightmare Moon is a myth so when Luna is free, would the darkness retreat into the metaverse? Or would a shawdo/demon version still exist when people's cognition realise that Luna is Luna and have Nightmare fade into obsuraty." And everything's arcana is confusing as the sun is not the sun, and the moon is not the moon.
AAAAAAAAAAI feel like this bit has the possibility to lead to an interesting new direction of study for Shade. He is already working towards making medical spells, with a focus on more simple, easier to learn spells. However, if this is really important to him, it could be interesting to see him try to develop a prosthetic limb.
For that reason, among others, I do like the introduction of the character Avalon. I'm not sure if he'd stick around long enough for the spell to potentially develop. He may actually live in Canterlot, especially since he was being discriminated against by Griffons and was introduced basically at the Canterlot train station. If he does actually live there, he might be an interesting person to keep around as an acquaintance. Maybe pass letters back and forth to periodically.
If Shade did work towards making an artificial limb, he could both easily justify it without damaging the timeline and may have at least some of a path already laid out. In regard to not heavily affecting the timeline, Rainbow Dash was shown to have an artificial wing in the Sombra timeline. That would suggest that artificial limbs are close to being developed, or already in existence but perhaps too difficult or expensive to be widespread. That seems to be at least part of the theme of problems or issues that Shade is trying to address, making things that may already exist easier and more efficient to spread.
As for the path to create such a limb, I think it would be interesting to approach it using life magic and plants. Shade could study Timberwolves. Though it wouldn't surprise me if Celestia required Shade to study the Timberwolf in a palace research area with guards if she sourced him the Timberwolf. But he could make a hybridization of the companion vine and a Timberwolf that was limited to a limb. That could be an interesting arc anyways.
The companion vine could convert magic to life magic, and it wouldn't be too much to suggest that the Timberwolf portion would allow for a pony, or Griffon, to control the limb. He could even try to get a bit of iron oak in there to make the limb stronger for harder usage.
It may also lead to Avalon sticking around and being a friend, or even becoming a close enough friend to trust as a lab assistant or something similar after the library internship is over if Shade doesn't continue at the library.
Aside from that, I also wanted to address Alicorns
briefly.There has already been an exchange about giving Celestia faults, and even to not go too extreme in those faults because she has been a successful ruler and has led Equestria to being a prosperous, just, safe, and happy kingdom for 1000 years. This is all true and a good idea. Celestia should have some faults as a character but overall be very intelligent, wise, and kind. But while I do think some faults are good for her character, I did want to suggest caution on picking those faults.
The reason I wanted to bring that up is that one of the first faults somewhat inferred, was not having a perfect memory. I find that to be a very dangerous fault to give an immortal, especially one that has the storyline of Celestia.
As far as I am aware, Twilight was just about the only pony in canon to actually know about the return of Nightmare Moon. Even she only found out about it because of a brief mention in a book of myths. A couple of more facts to mention are, cameras wouldn't have existed when Luna was banished. Twilight was Celestia's student and went to just about every room that Celestia frequented and never saw anything paintings to suggest other Alicorns. Given those three, Celestia has spent 1000 years without talking about Luna, without seeing a picture or painting of Luna, without seeing Luna herself or hearing her voice, basically with almost no reminders that Luna existed at all aside from a shadow on the moon.
If Celestia is going to forget how to play chess, or just about anything else, in only a few years then she would probably have forgotten about Luna by the time 1000 years has passed.
That's why I think that, at minimum, an enhanced if not outright perfect memory is actually appropriate for Celestia. But at the same time, that doesn't mean that she would be at full skill for something like chess. I also got pretty good at chess and spent a lot of time playing it when I was younger. I remember a time, where I was on a trip and we got out a travel chess board and played a game. I was driving. I never saw the chess board, and I still won.
Now, I don't have that great of a memory. I have never, not at that time and not now, learned any chess opening, endgames, or a midgame. I can't, and have never been able to remember an entire chess board in my mind. I didn't win that game because I memorized anything. I won that game because I played often enough at that time that I could intuit what my opponent was trying to accomplish as they did it. In regard to memory, I still remember everything about chess that I knew when I played that game. But I haven't played chess in years, and I would never be able to do that today.
What I'm trying to say is that remembering something and being able to apply it, especially apply it immediately, are two very different things. A better example might be playing a sport.
Say you have two people. One who knows every rule about baseball. Every strategy. The best way to swing a bat. The most efficient play to make in every occurrence. The second doesn't know any of that. But they practice playing baseball every day. Who is more likely to be the better player? The one who practices.
The same would apply to Celestia. Even if she remembers absolutely everything about chess, if she hadn't played for years, she would fall out of the thought processes needed to play chess. She wouldn't recognize when she should apply what strategy, it wouldn't matter even if she remembered it. Memory just isn't the same as application. I think there is a subtlety in that. Celestia would still be an incredibly knowledgeable immortal, but wouldn't be a master of everything.
All of this is to lead into a point I want to make about Alicorns when considering their flaws and how to approach them in a story. I think the show did a very poor job with Alicorns in general, and Celestia and Luna in particular. At the beginning of the show, Alicorns were immortal, incredibly powerful, intelligent, wise, experienced, etc. They were the closest thing to pony goddesses that existed in the show. Celestia in particular was a wise ruler, with temperance, wisdom, caring, and who was particularly motherly. We were given the impression that she was extremely powerful, mature, and put together at all times. Any incident where she couldn't act or lost had an explanation. Fighting another Alicorn enhanced by the Nightmare, fighting Discord who was essentially an all-powerful eldritch deity (though he was vastly lessoned as well in later seasons), fighting Chrysalis after she had been enhanced by all the love directed at the Alicorn of love. Etc.
I find one of her best characterizations when she went to Ponyville early in the show, and was drinking tea at Sugarcube Corner. Every time she drank a sip of tea, one of the Cakes would refill her teacup. So, after a couple of sips she 'faked' a sip. When her teacup was refilled then, it overflowed and spilled. It was soft, mischievous prank. It showed Celestia as playful, but still wanting nothing more than to relax the ponies around her and make them more comfortable. Celestia can be playful. Celestia can like excitement. But Celestia's actions would never be put before Princess Celestia's actions.
In the latter part of the show, half the time Celestia and Luna acted like 12-year-olds that couldn't stop bickering all the time. When they weren't, half the time they seemed to be 5-year-olds bickering all the time.
Now, that may be an exaggeration, but I can't help but think of scenes from a season 9 episode Between Dark and Dawn. Every time I see some of those scenes, I can't help but replace Celestia with Scootaloo and Luna with a slightly more sheltered Sweetie Belle and think it follows their characters a whole lot better. Not the late season versions of Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle either, the early season versions. They weren't acting like centuries or millennia old Alicorns, they were acting like children. The show in this way, was remarkably inconsistent. Not just in characterization, but also in capability.
Long before Twilight becomes an Alicorn, we see her in a season 1 episode Boast Busters. Though it wasn't the entire point of the episode, you can say the entire episode was made to emphasize that Twilight Sparkle is more powerful, more talented, and more skilled with magic than just about any unicorn. In a later Trixie episode, Trixie comes back with the Alicorn amulet. Both suggesting that gaining the power of an Alicorn is a massive boost and suggesting that one of the only ways to overpower Twilight is to be an Alicorn. Then Twilight becomes an Alicorn. So, she should have theoretically become noticeably stronger, right?
But during Twilight's battle with Starlight in the past, Twilight wasn't any stronger that Starlight at all. On the other hand, Flurry Heart was so powerful as a newborn that she nearly destroyed the Crystal Empire accidentally. Is that just foal magic? But then how were Twilight and Tirek equally matched when Tirek had all the power of every pony, and the power of Discord against 4 Alicorns? Theoretically, Discord is more powerful than 2 Alicorns, and if Tirek got Starlight that negates out Twilight entirely. Does that mean that Cadence is more powerful than All ponies in Equestria combined excluding Starlight? Even later, Starlight also just blinks and swaps the abilities of Celestia and Luna in a random fit of irritation.
To bring a long lead-up to a short point, I think it would be a good time to really think about how you want to treat Alicorns in your story. What does it mean to be an Alicorn? Are they exceptionally powerful? Or is their magic basically no different from any other unicorn? Are they resilient to damage? Or just as vulnerable as any other pony? Has every Alicorn gone through trials to earn their ascension? Or can it be something that is just lucked into? Will Shade earn his way to being an Alicorn? Will that be a meaningful change?
I would suggest thinking about it and at least somewhat making a decision now on what it means to be an Alicorn. That way, you can plan around it and keep things consistent. I think that would lead to better overall story quality.
I look forward to reading more.
11891852
First, the prosthetic idea is just too good not to steal.
And second, alicorns. I've given a good amount of thought into how I want them to work but haven't decided on a few things. And while I won't get into all that until probably much later in the story I can give you a brief description here.
I view alicorns as coming it three different variations and it all comes down to what they reside over.
First an alicorn that controls a physical object of great power, Celestia and Luna fall into this category.
Second are alicorns that are aspects of a certain thing. Magic for twilight and love for Cadence.
And finally third. This is not a type we've seen yet but I believe Flurry Heart fits it well considering the power she's shown. To not be just an aspect of a force of the world, but to BE that force, to be the embodiment of that force.
I refer to these as. The first, Physical Embodiment, to have a great connection or a great amount of control over something physical.
The second is an Aspect, as in a smaller part of a a greater force of reality.
And third is simply Embodiment, this is for beings like Discord, who might not just be an aspect of chaos but chaos itself depending on what lore your working with.
This gives each alicorn a different amount of strength and powers depending on more then just age and what they are alicorn of.
But that's just how I see it and I could change my mind about this over time.
As always thanks for the advise. :}
11891968
Maybe.
The wording! XD
Now separately:
... ponies start to fill the train through the window and ... moving around inside the train through the thin walls.
Yes, that's how it looks like. They went inside through the window and broke thin walls by going through them. Should be loud enough to hear that.
Is Avalon a valid griffin name? It doesn't even have G in it.
Loving the new griffin speech colour
Way better than the brown