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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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FIRST COMMENT LE DUN LE DUN LE DUN!!!
Damn censored books.
1359392 I know right.
It's just maddening...
1359541 Oh hell no, those humans need to rebel, start busting the Black Hand, start assassinations than work to full blown revolution. Censored Books, seems like Celestia feared that humans would be a threat to them and nearly wiped them out, later turning them to slaves to spare them, but from first chapter that ponies don't care about there slaves.
Ah worldbuilding, I love thee.
I have to say there seem to be more grammatical errors in this chapter than the previous ones... or maybe I'm just noticing them more?
Anyways an example is this paragraph.
Twilight had taught him to read years ago, she was very proud of him when he finished his first book. By now he had almost finished reading the entire collection twice, and what amazes Twilight more is the fact that he can remember everything he reads without difficulty. She can depend on him like a walking encyclopedia, asking him if he remembers anything from what he read, and it would only take a moment. The Princess’s apprentice had come to rely on his memory for quick references when she needs it.
What happened was you changed it from past tense to present. I'd say it should read a bit more like this: (Keeping it in past tense.)
Twilight had taught him to read years ago, she was very proud of him when he finished his first book. By now he had almost finished reading the entire collection twice, and what amazed Twilight even more was the fact that he could remember everything he read without difficulty. She depended on him as a walking encyclopedia, asking him if he remembered anything from what he read, and it only took a moment. The Princess’s apprentice had come to rely on his memory for quick references when she needed it.
Of course you could have it all be in present tense but at least pick one and stick with it.
Oh, and be sure to watch those capital letters. I noticed a few missing.
early humans hunted using a technece called persistence hunting(running prey to exoston it is still used today)
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Step 1: Educating all the humans. Step 2: Give them weapons. Step 3: Kill ponies, especially Celestia.
FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
It could be done in reported speech, like this:
She could depend on him as a walking encyclopedia, asking him if he could remember anything from what he had read, and it only took a moment.
Interesting development for Chains to be the so-called 'walking encyclopedia" for Miss Sparkle. Nice to see some back story about when humans first made into Equestria.
Blue Sun........mass effect series... I see what you might have done there.
>could remember everything he read without difficulty.
>depended on him as a walking encyclopedia
Uhm, somehow i´m not okay with this. :/
Probably cause i never seen a person who could read hundred books and still remember every single word of them after years of having read them. i know there are people like that but it would make Chains less normal and more "special" something i had hoped he would be due being treated otherwise and to see the world differently not cause he can remember every letter of a book he has thrown a look into.
Plus it does imply that´s Twi stupider than i like her to be.^^;
Eeeh, it´s nothing big so whatever. :P
A bit said you didnt brought up the whole Nr 1 assistant thingie or that Chains teaches Spike how to cook cause Spike does so for Twi in the show but he needed to learn that first too, etc.
Did the ponies enslave all humans? Or did they abduct a good number before abandoning the territory?
If so, does that men there's a whole continent full of human countries, kingdoms, etc.?
Also, did any humans betray their own kind for profit? When the slave trade was started in Africa several tribal leaders would "sell" rival tribes to the slavers for precious stones and metals.
Eeyup This chapter confirms it, the Humans needed to be enslaved to protect themselves and because their need for war would eventually destroy the entire world. The ponies are clearly superior because they are capable of living peacefully. Maybe having an all powerful, but kind and benevolent princess in charge is better then any human government.
You know...where does a race go from "diplomacy" to "total enslavement of a sentient race who's clearly just as smart as you"? Does the term "hypocrisy" not register with these supposedly sunshine and rainbows ponies? And shouldn't Chains be disgusted with what he's learned? Ponies don't NEED slaves, they've got magic, people who can FLY, and ponies with super strength for Pete's sake! This is reprehensible.
2435528
Slave labor's cheap and offers a lucrative market. All you need to do is not think about them as "people" (or "ponies" in this case) and it becomes easier to view them as pets. Granted, in this day and age, it's nearly impossible for most civilized societies not to think of slavery as horrible but once upon a time, it was normal. Evolution isn't just a physical thing after all. It goes for anything that allows something to survive better.
1382893 and the symbol for the Blood Pack is a red fist...Red Fist... Coincedence? I think not.
It's the Blue Suns and Red Pack from Mass Effect... lol
Really, under Celestia's rule, I can't see any reason for them to justify enslavement of humans. Why don't they also enslave griffons, or diamond dogs, or dragons? Why humans of all creatures?
I feel like the humans were transplanted here from somewhere else... their cultural evolution seems artificially stimulated and sped-up. From tent settlements to governments in a month? Not on this planet, that's for sure.
3132375 My theory is that conflict arose between Ponies and Humans, and since Celestia doesn't have the heart to kill, she enslaved them.
I know this is old but thought I should mention
The chapter is written in the past tense with the exception of this line. It would probably fit better and would be less likely to break a reader's concentration if it read as:
and what amazed twilight more was the fact that he could remember everything he read without difficulty
Wow, I gotta say that this is pretty ingenious, that would make for a great... Journal kinda story. Epic blue sun people of... Awesome... Ness.
humanity evolved in a matter of weeks? i thought it took decades for us to utilize farming! also, if three tribes lived relatively close to each other and they traded then wouldn't the first settlement be just as well equipped as the last? other than that i thought this chapter was great. it shows that even Celestia, or whoever made the book/wanted whatever came on the next pages to be hidden, practices censorship. i wonder what happened in those two years. and that young general is the guy that Celestia is thinking about.
i called it.
Anyone else read the scientist's journal with David Attenborough's voice?
I smell cover up/
i wonder if he's taller than most ponies by now? or atleast as tall :p
3436091 it could be that humans were advanced and had cities and towns but a group of humans were moved or something to equestria and started from a new with the resourses they found
The journals were just plain awesome.
1 It would be trashed if Chains and Spike, on occasion, weren’t around to clean it.
2 It would be trashed if Chains and Spike weren’t, on occasion, around to clean it.
The first one means that chains and spike cleaning on most days would result in a trashed room.
The second one means that chains and spike never cleaning would result in a trashed room.
Which did you mean?
4823884 The author means that the room would be a trashed if Chains and Spike didn't clean it
1382893 2854149 3132375
In Fire Fly (series by Joss Whedon) the Blue Sun is a massive corporation that spans across all of the worlds.
Whomever the field researcher was seemed to have had a neutral mindset and good judgement. He or she seemed like a decent individual. This chapter has not made me rage, or even made me unhappy. This tiny bit of backstory is very interesting. If THIS tyle of story was the main premise, I would Like it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately the overarching scheme zeems to be Pony Xenophobia , slavery, and racism.