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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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time for a trolllollol
I don't think you should have "Flashback" and then "End Flashback." Just having the lines separating the current and the flashback should be enough to tell us, the readers that a change in either time, place, or view point is occurring. And then your hints through your writing will tell us which one it is. And seeing as how you did that with "she had welcomed to Canterlot so many years ago," you've already told us that the new part we're reading is a flashback in Celestia's memories. So having "Flashback" written down just takes me out of the story.
At least for me personally.
1361005
I have to agree with you on this one.
I wonder what Chain's reaction will be when he learns how humans were enslaved.
Imma Falcon Pawnch her for the betrayal.
Insert bits to continue, 5 4 3 2 1...FLASHBACK OVER!
Wow, who would have thought two kingdoms were getting peaceful before the incident happen where one turns into slaves. I begin to question the legacy behind Chains, seeing how Chains and Prince have similar eye coloring (maybe a mark for royal status?) either way it'll be interesting from here on out.
Good job sir!
in the future, representing flashbacks via italics or some other easily discernible but unobtrusive method makes the story more enjoyable, as literally saying "begin flashback" goes a great way to destroying immersion.
So Chains = urururururururururururchild of some human king? Would kinda explain his perfect memory ya know, royal genetics and stuff. :P
1358612 you mean like this
then wat happened hmm
I'm sure there is a good reason for slavery, I don't want Celestia to turn out to be the villain.
i am guessing that chains is the new king but he does know and he will probably know it when he finds out about the humans past, chains is gonna pissed off big time and celestia better be ready
Yeah, I called it.
1713453
I'm calling bull on that.
1713453 Seriously when is slavery justifiable. What Flipping situation makes it alright for me to own someone as my property and do as I wish with them? You sir should be on the receiving end of my chainsword. segabits.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/warhammer_40k_space_marine-wide.jpg
3438601 holy hoarseapples THAT IS EPIC!!!
3438601
Well, not to be mean or anything, but it is hard to argue with results. You can't deny that slavery gets shit done. Great Wall of China (sorta), the Pyramids at Giza.
Immoral and evil? Yes
Extremely effective? Yes
1713453 i47.tinypic.com/2dtqjib.jpg
4158153 Not only is slavery wrong, but there is nothing that it can accomplish that ethical teamwork and normal co-operation can't.
3438601 Agreed. Also, on an unrelated note, I think I want one of those chain-sword things now.
3438601 or a handgun
http://www.coolminiornot.com/pics/pics5/img3ff940d98b2a9.jpg
Celestia sat in her throne, flanked by two of her guards.
Honestly thought it said fucked for a second
oh great is one of those fics, where Celestia is "powerless" to do anything -_- . Its good but still, that just annoyed me. And how can ponies who are kind ignore the fact the humans are intelligent and being forced to be slaves? The true monsters are the ponies, not humans.
3438601
Nah, I think I might send my troops after him.
wall321.com/thumbnails/detail/20130511/angels%20soldiers%20video%20games%20volcanoes%20weapons%20commander%20imperial%20guard%20swords%20baneblade%20warhammer%2040_www.wall321.com_92.jpg
Also when I first saw the description of Taleon's hair I though of this kid, imagine what the battles would be like if it was.
pre03.deviantart.net/1b96/th/pre/i/2013/198/9/f/hiccup_and_toothless_by_blueisocean-d6dyjuz.jpg
These tiny hints are making me crazy. What the heck happened? Everything started out so positively.