• Published 8th Aug 2022
  • 1,179 Views, 61 Comments

Sapphic Figments - Botched Lobotomy



Famous lesbian Rarity meets even more famous Lesbian Sappho.

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5
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42.

Hyacinth love

Comments ( 14 )

I say as something of a fan of Sappho, this is one of the most audacious and boldly WTF ideas I have ever seen on fimfiction.net. Rewriting an episode or plot arc of MLP:FiM to ask and address a "what if?" question is one thing, but trying to rewrite Sappho is...I really don't know what to say.

That said (or not fully said) I have to applaud your choice of poet. But I don't really agree with what seems to be your interpretation of the sparrows and the chariot (EDIT: I mean, in Sappho's actual, original poem).

between such creatures...
...the animal and I
but does not Aphrodite ride a chariot with sparrows?
Does not love make animals of us all?

I mean, I do think the birds are merely pulling the chariot, not serving or hinting at serving a rather different and more intimate role. Ok, now the 'ALL COMMENTS MUST BE POSITIVE IN EVERY PART' people can come and hate on me.

On the other hand, the whole endeavor might be well worth it just for fragments like

They say that Leda once found
an egg—
like a hyacinth.
I have found a creature
far stranger.
Eggshell elegance,
indebted beyond mortals for her beauty,
her mane—

(because she's great)

Is that why Wonder Woman keeps talking about her so much?

If I had a nickel for every ponyfic I've read that featured Sappho of Lesbos, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

In any case, brilliant work in conveying a plot largely through implication and a few of the larger fragments. Thank you for this, and best of luck in the judging.

Hilariously/Annoyingly, because of the incredibly short chapter lengths, only 4 out of 42 chapters were marked as “Read” because I never had to scroll down for the rest. :facehoof:

Regardless, a quite intriguing work that does a lot with very little words.

Hillbe #5 · Aug 8th, 2022 · · 1 ·

1- Ember's angry flames
2- A crush not meant for who?:moustache:
3- An egg?
4-Dragon & I
5-Rarity's tired
6- He's overwhelmed
7- She's eating ice cream again
8- More ice cream
9- She's a splendid mess:raritydespair:
10- Oh Celestia! A bright idea!
11- Missing the parade
12- Where are we? lost...
13- Twilights opus continues:twilightoops:
14- Spike begs She laughs
15- Oh dear, Opal needs fed
16- Oh look Lunas twin moons!
17- I can't even control myself
18- Twi? I'm leaving for an ivory mare
19- So long Ponyville
20- Gossip gossip at the Spa:flutterrage:
21- Whispering Twilight casts her spell
22- Long ago times were strange:pinkiehappy:
23- No pomes, Ran out of ink
24- It's cold, Close the window
25-Stupid tub can't find the leak
26- Burping & fire leaping in the boutique
27-Apple Jack dumps fruit on a sleeping dragon:ajbemused:
28- A Lady never argues "SPIKE ICE CREAM"
29- White Purple and green
30- My garments! Spike! Our foals!
31- Smoke & Perfume, You know them
32- candles who needs matches? Spike, Light!
33- Soft scales and fur, warm
34- Wake up wake up, Where's the case of cider? Rainbow's here:rainbowlaugh:
35- Well Tirek's dead
36- Luna's off the moon and in the Post Office, Stamps 5 bitts
37- Sitting I think,
38- Oh Celestia not again,,,Ash:trollestia:
39- Dash battering my window
40- Twi sees an error what agony :facehoof:
41- I keep forgetting , that's future Spikes problem
Hyacinth is Bon Bons older sister

11324735
I found it easier to simply download the story as a text file, so I didn't have to press Next so much.

11324588

this is one of the most audacious and boldly WTF ideas I have ever seen on fimfiction.net

I try.

Originally the intention wasn't really to rewrite, but as the story took shape, well...there's a reason I put arranged and rearranged beneath the title.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Re: your spoilered comment, please, critique away! I have to agree, it almost certainly wasn't Sappho's original intention, or even a particularly valid interpretation of the poem. That said, if you'll allow me to defend that choice a little, I felt I needed to address the fact in the story that, sapient or not, Sappho has relations with what is, aesthetically, an animal. Harkness test or no, some hesitation is almost guaranteed.
Perhaps the fragment

Again love, the limb-loosener, rattles me
bittersweet,
irresistible,
a crawling beast.

would have been a better choice here. But I liked the play between sparrows/arrows already suggested in chapter 1, all wrapped up as it is in ideas of death/animality/love; and I feel the Sappho in this story starts out with a very selfish definition of love. Arrows/sparrows as penetrative, in some sense a "claiming" (blegh), and the submission of the sparrows to Aphrodite (as animal, as labour), are meant to play into this idea.
I totally acknowledge it may be a bit of a reach, however. :raritywink:

11324735
Thank you!
You know, that explains why fimfic claimed I hadn't read them, either...

11324703
God, this is Gertie the Dinosaur all over again. I even used the same cover art, this time! Looks like I have another fic to check out.
And thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

love it. thank you so much. i do not normally go for happy endings, but i absolutely needed this one.


honestly, what can i say? i am so happy this exists. everything in my life is worth it for having led up to this moment. this is everything i've ever wanted. thank you so much.

rereading this again and wow. i loved it so much the first time, and after the changes in my life since then it impacts me even more profoundly now, and i am so thankful this work exists

This was wonderful to find.

Holy shit, this was incredibly. I cannot believe I didn’t know this existed until recently it’s so good. Taking the fragments and turning them into a love story is absolutely genius. You are a modern Bliss Carmen.

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