- Member Since 26th Jul, 2020
- offline last seen February 5th
Great Humanity
Just a writer with one hell of a train of thought
Great Humanity
Joined 26th Jul, 2020 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Great Humanity · 9.6k words · 31 7 · 1.3k views
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Say Great-H, I wonder what Flurry Heart was like now that she's older?
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Well, she’s a bit of a young mare whose had a bit of changes over time, such as a goth phase, which I hinted at, as well as several bad coltfriends, but that’s more or less to give Raging a reason to not trust him. Overall, Flurry Heart is, in chapter 1, a mare who just turned 18 and will learn self-defense… and find her Prince Charming
say, mind finding an editor?
Weird. I swore there was more comments earlier. And why do I keep getting notifs of the first chapter being uploaded?
Actually she’s more of a rebellious phase than goth.
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Plus on your pic, she doesn’t look gothic-ish.
awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
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Hey Great-H, do you think it's possible that the human that should be with Flurry might be mexican/latina?
Say, where’s Flurry’s little brother in the chapter? Shouldn’t he go psycho on Louie? I named that human before he gets his nickname from Flurry.
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I didn’t think to include him, also, Louie sounds kinda weird
awesome chapter mate keep it up can't wait for the next chapter
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It's his human name. Unless you got another idea for his old name before he gets his nickname from Flurry.
Not shown: Flurry (and pretty much every mare in this series) getting severe vaginal infection due to going straight from anal to vaginal without thoroughly cleaning the dude's dick in between.
awesome story mate keep it up can't wait for the next story
Great story love the slow burn.
Now I saw what i think was an redundant sentence here it is : They are granted immortality, and eternal life, as a boon
This sentence redundant as "Immortality" literally means "Eternal life"
I think what you meant to say was this: They are granted immortality, and eternal Youth, as a boon
I hope this helps you and your editor. That is my only criticism for this story i am enjoying this story and universe you are creating