The taste of karma, pure and uncooked

by Element of Malice

Chapter 1

Come on, Silver Spoon! Diamond Tiara thought with a huff, You know how much I hate to be kept waiting. She looked at the clock on her newest smartphone with the feeling of insurmountable annoyance.

The fourteen-year-old girl sipped on the straw of her soda cup, making a noise that told everyone that it was empty. She made sure it was only loud and long enough to get noticeably annoying, but not enough to seem like it was deliberate, which it was. She then put the cup down with enough force to rattle the table she was sitting at.

She looked around the light crowd of people scurrying around the mall like the insects they were, hoping to spot Silver Spoon coming her way. A few, she noticed, turned their gaze and shrunk from her when she made eye contact. That brought a fuzzy feeling of authority to the complacent teen. Knowing that everyone around her already knew she was better than them made her slightly less irate.

She was above letting such a ghastly expression as irritation show on her face. It would wrinkle her makeup and eventually lead to, shuddering at the thought, natural wrinkles on her skin. Real and permanent wrinkles! At her funeral, she wanted to be so wrinkle-free that even the mortician would die of embarrassment in her presence.

Wrinkles were disgusting.

Diamond Tiara looked back at her phone to get her thoughts away from such a heinous image. She had wanted an upgrade from her junky six-month-old phone on her upcoming birthday, and yesterday it was given to her as an early gift.

Through his network of contacts, her dad had managed to get a hold of this particular model. The best part was that it hadn’t even been publicly advertised, so she was the only one on the planet who had a phone like this. He made a big deal about how the phone was installed with a software program that took any image and determined its depth perception. Of course, doing so gave it an artificial three-dimensional shape on the screen as a result, but that was beside the point.

With her father’s connections and the family resources at her fingertips, the world was hers to rule. Nobody could stand in her way without getting burned.

That being said, she would make sure her closest friend Silver Spoon would know just how displeased she felt for having five whole minutes of her valuable time wasted. Five precious minutes that the two of them could have spent chatting on their way to do their nails and hair at a salon. Or they could be heading to a car dealership to get in the passenger seat of a new supercar for her chauffeur to test drive.

She didn’t have a license yet, but she would be legally old enough to take the test in a few short weeks. So it wouldn’t hurt to already have a new vehicle or two ready and waiting just for her on that particular occasion, right?

Perhaps she was being a little dramatic. Yesterday was rather unpleasant. Okay, it was an apocalyptic scale war zone that she was still fuming over. It all happened on a social media website that Diamond Tiara had been a proud member of for years. A fresh user going by Grayfu22edsilverl1ning had the tenacity to spontaneously label themselves as one of her hundreds of online friends without her permission. She had to let them know that it was important for her friendship to be earned. All it took was a few exchanges to reveal how toxic they truly were. But she destroyed them.

There was a feeling of pure satisfaction in knowing that, causing the corner of her lips to pull into a smug smirk. It was intoxicating to know that she would remain untouchable on that site with the help of hundreds of reliable others. As long as she ignored the bitterness brought from the hours of back and forth ‘disagreements,’ as they called it.

Diamond Tiara referred to them as friends, but she didn’t really know any of them. Her father’s annoying voice popped into her thoughts as she heard him say, ‘it’s important to not share your personal information with strangers. That includes your name and anything else that could be used to find you.’

That was such a dumb thing to say. With the proper equipment and know-how, anybody could track anyone down online. As long as you can get a hold of their IP address… or something like that. She had both. Money to buy the equipment and skill to bribe someone else who knew how to do it.

Something else that was annoying was that the social media site deliberately censored all of the ‘strong choice of words.’ If you have something to say, say it as it is. Having it edited the way they do was for sensitive immature losers. Losers like that suck up Gray-f-u-22edsilverD***. They only wanted an easy shot at being as well known as I am. News flash, that’s not how the world works. And don’t pretend you know me, IRL. I know you just went through my posting history. Garbage with an attitude like that has its place, and it’s my job to put them there.

The last comment she currently knew about that they had made was, ‘I’ll make you regret this Demon Tyrant.’ That was weak, weak, weak. As if she would ever cross paths in her life with that breed of trash. She brought the conversation up on her phone and scrolled through the comments, looking to see what was new.

The last response she had proudly sent back was, ‘You are so gloriously f****** r****** that I could care less if you just dropped dead. Nobody cares about you. Nobody will ever feel sorry for you. You’re worth nothing to me. I am, and will always be, leagues above filthy d*** sucking mistakes like you.’

That reply was followed by a mile-long list of comments made by hours of responses from her online friends backing her up, but nothing new from the toxic user.

If Silver Spoon didn’t show up within the next thirty seconds, Diamond Tiara would explode, but not at her friend, though. There were times she got loud towards her, but she never stayed upset for more than an hour.

Diamond Tiara began flipping through images of flashy supercars on her phone while simultaneously turning the 3-D settings on and off. Silver Spoon was a quiet type, and it made her easy to talk to because of that. She would, of course, respond and, on occasion, have something to say too. However, Diamond Tiara would always lead the topic of the conversations they had together.

More importantly, she needed to vent her frustration to someone, and Silver Spoon was the perfect candidate. The two had been friends for as far back as she could remember. It was as though a day hadn’t gone by without them being in some form of contact. That reminds me… opening her contacts on her phone, she saw it was empty. Not even Silver Spoon’s number hadn’t been added.

She had gotten it late in the afternoon yesterday, and it was beyond the latest model, so she was required to get a whole new number. But thanks to that annoying prick, she had apparently gotten too distracted to have added any numbers. that meant, even if Silver Spoon had tried to call her old number, it wouldn’t have worked.

I’ll add it right now and then give her a good ear-full. Once Diamond Tiara got the number into her contacts, she called Silver Spoon.

The first attempt rang until it got to voicemail. Diamond Tiara tried again, thinking since her friend didn’t recognize the new number, she simply didn’t answer. Unfortunately, the second attempt ended the same as the first reaching the voicemail. That was a little off-putting. Silver Spoon wasn’t as extroverted as Diamond Tiara, but she wasn’t a recluse. Although she didn’t even have a single social media account, something Diamond Tiara had occasionally teased her about.

The third time Diamond Tiara called, it was picked up halfway through. “It’s about time. Where are you? I’m sorry about the mystery number. That would be because my stupid new phone required me to change it.”

“Hello?” It wasn’t Silver Spoon, rather her dad, on the other end.

“My bad, I didn’t think you would have Silver Spoon’s phone. This is Diamond Tiara, you know, her bestie for life. She’s not grounded, is she? We made plans to go shopping today.”

There was a momentary pause that seemed to hold an uncomfortable tension. “I’m sorry. There isn’t any way to…” he gave a sigh that seemed to have a heavy pained weight behind it. “There’s no easy way to say this… she’s gone.” Was he about to cry?

“Gone where? Maybe she just forgot to tell you where she was going. But, wait, that doesn’t make sense. She wouldn’t leave without her phone.” After thinking for a brief moment, Diamond Tiara continued. “Did she leave a note? I’m sure she’s just on her way to meet me so we can go shopping.”

The only answer she received was silence. Her phone didn’t disconnect, did it? That would be very annoying if it was a common occurrence. Why couldn’t they have this phone and the plan it came with working the way any other cellphone in public use does already?

Silver Spoon’s father spoke just as Diamond Tiara was about to say something and test if it had lost service. “You don’t get it, do you? She’s gone, Diamond Tiara. Dead. More accurately, she overdosed on her mother’s sleeping pills last night.”

Hearing that, Diamond Tiara’s phone nearly slipped out of her hand. “What…?” This couldn’t be real. He had to be lying. “Listen, I know Silver Spoon more than you do. She’s always telling me things that she says she doesn’t tell you about. And I’m not telling you what they are because I’m her friend. I know she would never do anything like that.”

When Silver Spoon’s father spoke again, he sounded very agitated. “She was bullied on a social media website called FacePlace.”

FacePlace? Diamond Tiara almost laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. She doesn’t do social media stuff. I’m constantly telling her she should try it, but she always turns down my offer.”

“I’m looking at her account on her computer right now. It was made yesterday. The things they said to her… are still saying to her are—” a grunt of suppressed rage and sorrow was heard on the other end of the line. “If I ever get my hands on the ones responsible, I am willing to face jail time if I have to because I would kill them.”

Diamond Tiara was starting to feel the same. If what she was hearing was indeed true, she would do more than simply annihilate the users responsible on every social media website. Instead, Diamond Tiara would track them down and become the very bane of their existence. “What’s her username?”

“Grayfu22edsilverl1ning.”

…

…

…

All of Diamond Tiara’s senses went numb.

Silver Spoon is… was Grayfu22edsilverl1ning? The same user that she had been… “you’re lying… you’re reading it wrong, something!” Diamond Tiara only realized her mistake when she finished talking. Her, making a mistake? Impossible. She was… No, is. She is perfect. She is never wrong. He wouldn’t catch on to the fact that she’s the primary user responsible if she happened to be incorrect, which she never is.

That little flickering glimmer of hope suddenly seemed more like a fantasy than anything else.

Silver Spoon’s father spoke, snapping Diamond Tiara’s attention back to reality. “Don’t assume that because I’m over twice your age, I don’t do social media. Unlike you youngsters of today, I use FacePlace to promote my business. So I’m perfectly familiar with how this website works.”

Diamond Tiara went through the facts in her head. Yesterday evening she got into an online argument with Grayfu22edsilverl1ning. Grayfu22edsilverl1ning was Silver Spoon. As a result of the conflict, her friend committed suicide and was now dead. And Diamond Tiara was the sole user responsible.

A new feeling exploded inside of Diamond Tiara, one she had never felt in her life. But unfortunately, there was no one to redirect the blame she felt coming onto someone else how she usually did.

All those hateful things she said came rushing back to her, but the stranger it was meant for now had a face. For the first time, she felt… She felt… Cornered. Helpless. Small. Alone… Sick. The perceived world Diamond Tiara knew and ruled over shattered into dust in that instant. Was this how her… her… victims felt… when she pressured them?

I just killed my friend… And it’s my fault.

Author's Note:

Sorry but I need to rant.

What will it take for Cyberbullies to understand that real people are on the other side of a username? What do they think we are, emotionless NPC’s only existing for their personal satisfaction and entertainment? It is impossible for them to see the repercussions their words have on complete strangers located on the opposite end of the planet so they keep doing it. Stuff like that doesn’t effect them so why should they care?

For that matter, what’s even the point? What’s stopping me from doing the same thing Silver Spoon did? I even know the perfect place to hide the evidence. I know all about the repetitive ‘people care for you and will be sad that your gone’ speeches. They all regurgitate the same message, but what do you (the reader) really know about me? Most of the time my existence is acknowledged when I make mistakes more often then when I have a short lived pointless achievements, so it’s difficult to not see myself as replaceable often when there’s always someone who can do something I can better then me.

Comments

[Oreng Pingvin]

There is always someone who is better than you, and there is always someone who is worse than you in something.
© what kind of guy

[LordBucket]

This story is more subtle than it first appears, and I think the message I get from it isn't quite what the author intended.

I went into this expecting yet another, heavy-handed Very Special Episode but there's a bit of a Twilight Zone quality to what happens. While Diamond is ultimately the cause of her own anguish, she's not the only one who suffers. Yes, her actions resulted in the death of her admirer, but unusually for this sort of story...Silver Spoon, who did nothing wrong, suffers far more than "the bad guy" and dies for what Diamond did. In this story...the villain lives.

The title mentions karma, but this story delivers a more nuanced view of karma than simply "what you do to others will be done to you." If you throw a stone into a lake, the result of that isn't a stone being thrown back at you. The result is ripples in the lake. Suppose an abusive, alcoholic feather beats their child. Will that abusive, alcoholic father be beaten themselves? No...it's the other way around. Beating an innocent child tends to produce an adult who follows that lesson and beats their innocent child.

Karma isn't always the "direct justice" that we might prefer it to be. And this story seems to acknowlege that. The message isn't "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" so much as "if you're a jerk... everybody loses." It's a smarter lesson.

At the same time, there's a second message: "Appreciate what you value." The beginning makes it clear that Diamond doesn't treat Silver Spoon very well. But the ending makes it clear that she does value her, and feels loss from her death. The author tries to present this as "I now know what it's like to be bullied, maybe I won't be a bully anymore" but that's not really the message being delivered. Diamond Tiara is never bullied in this story. She isn't shown what it's like to be on the receiving end of what she dishes out. Rather, she mistreats someone who loves her...and she loses them.

The message delivered by the ending isn't "don't be a bully because it hurts people." The message is be nice to your friends or through your own actions, you may lose them.

Author's Note:

Sorry but I need to rant.

...ahh. So rather than yet another one-dimensional "let's deliver the social justice message!" story, what's going on here is that the author is pouring their actual heart and soul into a story. Presumably that's why there's more nuance and subtlety here. The heart is a lot more complex than empty platitudes.

@Element of Malice: I don't know. I'm just going to try to tell you the truth. I'm going to guess that I'm a little older than you are. My generation has failed your generation, but not for any of the reasons your generation usually whines about. Reality isn't always kind, and unfortunately, to my eyes the current generation was raised in a padded room kept away from harsh realities in a possibly well-intentioned, but definitely misguided effort to "protect." Bullying isn't a new phenomenon, even if the internet gives bullies better tools to do it with while simultaneously enabling them to keep themselves safe from the reprisal of those they try to harm.

At itscore, "humans being mean to each other" is a phenomenon that happens at every level and scale. Look at the world stage. Murder and death and genocide...these things happen. They don't only happen because for complicated reasons of politics. At the core of every atrocity, there are individual people who give the orders and people who willingly carry them out. Behind every mass-murderer, behind every solider "just following orders" and every general who issued those orders, there was a child who grew up to become that adult. And that child probably interacted with other children on the playground. Maybe became a middle-manager who enjoys having power over the people they manage. Maybe beats their wife. Maybe kicks their dog and enjoys withholding food until it submits. Those who derive pleasure from harming or controlling others exist at every earthly level of experience.

What will it take for Cyberbullies to understand that real people are on the other side of a username? What do they think we are, emotionless NPC’s only existing for their personal satisfaction and entertainment?

They won't understand. And trying to teach them is unlikely to be productive. Some people are predators. Imagine a deer standing over the half-eaten body of another deer, asking what it will take for the wolves to "understand" the plight of the deer? It's not a productive question. Predators harm others because it sustains them. Behind a cyberbully there may be tragic backstory...there may be a why behind what they do, but at the end of the day, most of them do what they do because it benefits them in some way. Emotionally, psychologically, they feed off of it.

Do they think others exist only for their satisfaction? Well...you tell me, what does a wolf think the purpose of a deer is? Does the wolf perceive the deer as an equal other with thoughts and feelings? No, they think it's delicious food and want to eat it.

Now, I suppose I will caution you...dehumanizing them and thinking of them as animals fit only for destruction is the path that leads to becoming one of them. If you don't desire to become the oppressor, it may serve you to keep that in mind. But it's ok for a deer to smash the face of the wolf that's trying to eat it, and maybe the message you need to hear right now is that it's not helpful for the deer to be asking about the feelings of the wolf trying to eat it, or to try to emphasize with it's feelings. In a kinder world, yes if a pony hurts another pony and the injured pony says "hey, you hurt me. I don't want to be hurt, I want to hug and be friends" yes, in that kinder world that's a healthy reaction. But if you're a deer being hunted by a wolf...that strategy is not going to end well.

It is impossible for them to see the repercussions their words have on complete strangers located on the opposite end of the planet so they keep doing it. Stuff like that doesn’t effect them so why should they care?

Yes.

This is correct.

Why would a wolf "care" about a deer? It's food. When you sit down to breakfast, do you contemplate the remote repercussions of eating? If you eat a slice of bacon, do you think about the pigs "somewhere far away" being led to a slaughterhouse? No, probably not. More likely you think, "this is delicious." And yes, that's what these people are thinking: "your tears are delicious" to them.

Is that nice? No. Is that how I would prefer it to be? Probably not. But that's how it is. Your situation is unlikely to improve until you understand it.

what’s even the point? What’s stopping me from doing the same thing Silver Spoon did?

Well, that's up to you. Like you say, I don't know who you are. I can only deduce and infer from your story and your notes and your blogs and the number of stories you've written with suicide and tragedy tags.

And...I've committed to telling you the truth...so, I will acknowledge that if you kill yourself, it won't particularly affect me, and people on this board are unlikely to ever even find out about it. Life will go on.

So, that being said...it's up to you. What do you want? Do you want to be dead? If you want to be dead, then all the people showering you with useless platitudes and "regurgitating the same message" and telling you "other people will be sad" ...all of those people are useless assholes trying to manipulate and guilt trip you into doing what they want. "You're a bad person if you don't think of those other people." Do you see the manipulation? Do you see the guilt they're trying to burden you with?

Some of them don't know any better and are simply repeating something they heard somewhere or another. And others are using your pain as a vehicle to make themslves feel good about themselves. "Oh, I told somebody not to kill themselves! What a good person I am, here pat me on the back!"

Ignore those people. Tell them to piss off. They're not helping you.

The question here is, what do you want?

If your heart's true desire is to leave...I genuinely believe that god, the universe...will not hold it against you if you choose to leave. I certainly won't hold it against you. I offer no forgiveness because there is nothing to forgive.

Humor me. Imagine for just a moment that you did kill yourself. And imagine that Princess Celestia were to receive you in the afterlife. Do you think she'd be angry at you? Do you think she'd admonish you or guilt-trip you for not thinking about others?

No.

She would hug you. She would comfort you and make the hurt go away. She would wrap you up in her wings and nuzzle you and apologize that the lessons of your life were so difficult.

Let that sink in for a moment.

You're free to choose. Your choices are your own. And the consequences of your actions are yours to bear. What do you want? If you want to be dead, then I release you from all guilt. It's ok if you do what's best for you.

But if what you really want is for things to be better...then being dead probably isn't going to make things better.

A deer faces a choice. If he gives in to the wolf, then he dies and the wolf becomes stronger. But that's not his only option. He can run. He can stand and fight. He can join a herd and if the herd is strong enough, the wolf may seek easier prey. He can give in to rage and become the oppressor.

A deer has many choices. I offer no judgement. You're the one who has to live your life and deal with the consequences, not me. This is up to you.

What do you want?

Whatever it is, I recommend you choose that.

[Anonomis]

The idea of others regurgitating the same speech of telling someone not to kill themself might be genuine for some people.

[Element of Malice]

11197049

Putting it in the bluntest way possible “We all die.” It’s scary for most hear, but there’s no avoiding it.

11196903

Thank you for the deep insight. I’ll have to read it a few times over for me to get the full message.

I liked your analogy with the deer. If I might add, suppose the deer species managed to free themselves from the terror of the wolves. Great joy of their demise would follow but only for a short time. Within a few generations the deer population would have grown so much, without the wolves hunting them, that food now has become scarce. In the long run they would only have themselves to blame. I suppose that’s probably what happened when this generation was put in a “padded room.” If only those walls broke down to show everyone that what’s important to them, (instant gratification) isn’t as important as they want it to be. I see myself as one of the deer thinking, if only there were more wolves in this world, at least we could make the choice to run or fight or submit. while being told by the older generation, “At least you don’t have to run or hide from wolves.” That’s not the problem anymore and they should know that.

I’d also like to add my own analogy:

You’re in a room with 17 others (18 in total) half of you are poisoned the other half is not. The antidote will be administered to everyone present. If anybody leaves the room nobody gets it. For those who have not been poisoned the antidote will kill them.

In a situation like this, no matter what I say (I’m a real wallflower) there’s a strong chance that my choice will be determined by… between one or all seventeen other individuals. But personally I’d choose to stay in the room if I wasn’t poisoned and leave if I was. I’d rather die than live with the guilt of knowing I could have saved someone else.

The author tries to present this as "I now know what it's like to be bullied, maybe I won't be a bully anymore" but that's not really the message being delivered.

Well… yes and no. Remember Diamond Tiara was about to stand and fight the against advisories that had taken Silver Spoon, confident in her abilities to succeed only to be greeted by a mirror. I was hoping for something like: “I’d have never said what I did had I known it was my friend.” Or something similar to that nature. If you say something to a complete stranger at least acknowledge to yourself first, before you view them as the worst, that that they are different and you know nothing about them. Who knows, they might be the best person you ever meet.

She would hug you. She would comfort you and make the hurt go away.

It’s hard to know how much I’m really hurting or what I’m feeling when I’m so numb inside that suicidal thoughts don’t bother me. Though, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was envious over the characters I killed (or attempted to kill) in my stories. I wish I found myself in a situation like theirs.

[Anonomis]

11197128
That is true; but there are some people that sincerely mean it. With all the technology humans have, sometimes messages may not come out as planned. For example if I attempted to message someone; it could be thought of as stalking even if I truly wanted to help

[Element of Malice]

11197170

With all the technology humans have, sometimes messages may not come out as planned.

With every online post I make, that is my biggest worry. Words on a screen lack any body/vocal language and that’s half (or more) of what’s required in proper communication.

[Element of Malice]

11196903
I know how selfish this will sound, but if it’s not too much trouble, it would nice to see what you had to say about my other completed short stories.

you saw things in this one worth talk about that even I didn’t see. I wonder what else I don’t know about myself that you could bring to light. Again I know it’s selfish as I can offer nothing in return, so I’ll understand if you declined my request.

[LordBucket]

11197869

Sure, I can read a few others. Here's the deal though: I'll tell you what I really think, not what I think you want to hear.

Fair?

[Element of Malice]

11197931
Wouldn’t have it any other way. I can take some friendly criticism.

[Uz Naimat]

Chills, man. Literal chills.

Tiara’s train of thought is... so infuriating and it makes me furious. Never have I wanted to punch a fictional character so much. So kudos on that.

Amazing work, Element. Into ‘Heartstrings’ this goes!

[Element of Malice]

11236206
My goal for this story was: ‘what is the worst possible thing I could do to Diamond Tiara and have her learn something from it.’

[Uz Naimat]

11236217
And I believe you just achieved that goal. In the span of one conversation, Tiara went from ‘I’m mightier than a queen and everyone else is a filthy insect’ to ‘I just killed my best friend.’