Twilight finds something mysterious in her room, and she's not sure what it is or how it got there. She begins to speculate that it could possibly be a new species or advanced technology, but it proves difficult to communicate with. It appears to have characteristics similar to a Changeling but is unlike anything Twilight has ever seen. As Twilight becomes overjoyed at a potential discovery little does she realize the brevity of her excitement.
I want to give a solid thank you to Mokoma for writing this story. It was a commission request I made on one of a few ideas I’ve had for some time. Hope you enjoy it and let them know how well they did.
Chapters (1)
Interesting, though I fail to quite understand the ending - does Spike simply not notice the real Twilight or is only the mimic left (though I did not see any indications that it does anything detrimental to the things it copies).
11540440
The majority of the story was written by Mokoma, but to answer your question to the best of my abilities, when the original idea for the story came to me I didn’t really have an ending figured out. I liked the way it turned out open ended, leaving for the imagination of the reader to wonder why there’s only one Twilight in the room and what had happened to the the other. perhaps after I regain more confidence in my style of writing, I’ll write my own alternative version extending from this one to better answer that question.
11540452
Ah, thanks for clearing it up. And I wanted to clarify that I did indeed enjoy the story, even though I usually don't like open (or ambiguous) endings.
11540440
whoops, my bad, I had something else written here but then realized I was responding to the same question you asked before so I changed it to what you are reading now. I’m currently experimenting with a new writing technique I found. If time allows it, perhaps I’ll expand further on this story when I get around to it.
(Ideas are already forming)
Hm.
Hmm, I think the pacing is off here, and the story basically treats it like changelings don't exist. Pacingwise, too much time is spent on Twilight's fascination after figuring out the thing can shapeshift, and too little is spent on the mystery portions, especially at the start. As for changelings, they can mimic inanimate objects and seem to be able to also mimic some properties of creatures and objects, so it's really odd Twilight doesn't relate this creature to changelings, even if she can tell it's not one.
As to the ending, I think it's not very effective because it seems too obvious that it's the mimic Spike is looking at.
11540452
I think I could help with advice on that alt version if necessary.
11812907
I think all my stories have a similar issue. (even though I wasn't the one who initially wrote this one I did review and approve what was written.) I get overy egger on wanting to reach the parts I want to have fun writting and all but ignore the requirements needed for proper pacing. (It's like pulling teeth.)
Receiving assistance with an alternate version of this story would be greatly appreciated. Especially since my motivation has been on a steady decline since my shoulder injury back in May. I haven't written anything for months.
P.S.
Please don't read: it's not contagious. After the mention of something I neither considered or intended it put a very dark cloud over what I had created.
11813627
Oh, I missed the description noting that you didn't write it. Anyways, key to pacing is usually to focus the story around significant events, and cut out anything dull between them; easier said then done, but just having the mindset of "what does this do for the story?" can go a long way.
If you want to discuss/bounce ideas to help with motivation, I'm open, just send a DM here or on Discord (@nebbiezebbie).
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I'll spam your Discord... once I have the mental motivation to do more than breath at a screen.