• Member Since 28th Feb, 2022
  • offline last seen April 22nd

MysticSkies115


Just a Transwoman fanfic writer with weird kinks and a NSFW mind at times

Comments ( 28 )

11193009
Well yes and no. I made it complete to avoid any skepticism on my part. But ill place it to incomplete for ya.
signed, mystic skies

Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?

11207851
Its not that bad. I mean i put a whole lotta time into it. People dont like these stories

11207884
Yeah, sorry but no, there is definetly a market for these kinda stories in the site, personally the fact that only the first chapter is over 1000 words kinda ruins it for me, story flow and what not, i honestly cant say if there are any grammar errors on it since i havent read but playing it on people not liking it doesnt help improving it.

11208136
Well I appreciate your honesty. I had to do the 1000 word chapter which was the Prologue, because it wouldnt let me publish it unless it was 1000 words or more. You can also tell me how i could improve on this story or any of my stories, if you want to.

11208284
you coulda just waited until you had two chapters ready and posted them at the same time, or just go back and fix the problem now that it's been pointed out and you have the necessary word count.

11210078
Thanks Newbie! I appreciate you letting me know. I know putting two chapters at the same time is possible but im using my flip phone to write and publish my fanfics. But i will take your advice and run with it. So to speak.

11210084
local libraries usually have free useable computers, so maybe post there if you're phone is giving you trouble?

11210086
My phone is not giving me problems. Thats the way i write my fanfics. When i have a certain word count that i have in mind i publish that chapter and later on add more to it. But thank you anyway.:fluttershysad:

No boobjobs? Considering the fact that you gave them huge knockers!? :rainbowhuh:

11210289
Well... Vinyl and Octavia grew up like that from the adolescence stage to when Mystic Skies married Vinyl Scratch in their Adult years. But i didn't include that in this one. In this fanfic the ages of Vinyl and Octavia and how Octavia's Boobs were bigger than Vinyl's is still a mystery on my part. Vinyl's age is 25yrs old and Octavia's age is about 30yrs old and as for my OC's age is around 27yrs old. But i did't put their ages in it because it was irrelevent at the time of this fanfics conception. But if ya want me to do either a breast expansion or a boobjob for my next fanfic story just PM me.

11210973
Sorry bout that! Guess i got too carried away!

11210978

I do at least understand that next time, I should PM you. But, I'm not a "PM-type" of person. ( Basically, I don't PM often. ) I normally use the regular comment section.

Comment posted by MysticSkies115 deleted Apr 14th, 2022
Comment posted by OP Omni God-Emperor Doom deleted Apr 14th, 2022
Comment posted by MysticSkies115 deleted Apr 14th, 2022
Comment posted by OP Omni God-Emperor Doom deleted Apr 14th, 2022

Alright I read over the story and here's my thoughts on it:

To start off with the Prologue the sex scene just wasn't my cup of tea I guess. (True I have Anthro OC's myself but they aren't used for sex in my stories.) 

One thing I did notice a lot was that the dialogue is lumped into one paragraph. When you do dialogue it's a new paragraph for each person speaking. 

Instead of doing this:

Octavia walked into the living room and saw Vinyl and Mystic in a loving embrace. "What's going on here?", Octavia asked Vinyl. Vinyl looked at Octavia,still holding onto Mystic. "Mystic booked us a hotel in Las Pegasus! ", Vinyl shouted to Octavia happily. "Mystic got us train tickets as well!", Vinyl continued.

 
Do this:

Octavia walked into the living room and saw Vinyl and Mystic in a loving embrace.

"What's going on here?" Octavia asked Vinyl. Vinyl looked at Octavia, still holding onto Mystic. 

"Mystic booked us a hotel in Las Pegasus!" Vinyl shouted to Octavia happily. "Mystic got us train tickets as well!"

This story overall was alright, but I will say that it really needs an editor! For that there's a few options:

You can work with a human editor to have another set of eyes on the story.

You can get some editing software like Grammarly to help edit your story.

Or you can read this guide and follow the advice in it and try to edit the story yourself:

https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide

11213039
Thanks for your honesty Sapphire. I will edit the story myself and update it with the dialogue fixed. Guess thats why people are disliking my stories so much.

11213195
Honestly you can't really say for sure that's why people aren't liking it. It could be a number of reasons. But fixing the dialogue at least is a good way to improve the story.

11213374
i did fix the dialogue. Was i supposed to press enter to like separate them or what?

11213814
You're welcome, if you need any other help feel free to PM me.

"Final and last stop of the day, Las Pegasus!" , the Conductor yelled out loudly.

How can a train go up into the clouds? Cuz las pegasus is in the sky, and last I checked trains can’t fly unless they’re some kind of sci-fi train or astrotrain from transformers.

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