• Member Since 12th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 29th, 2013

Revy


T

Growing up on the streets of Manehattan, Lightning Mane was a mere petty thief, scraping to get by. When his latest robbery makes a sudden turn for the utterly unexpected, he finds himself right in the center of a battle for Equestria, as an enemy the Ponies deemed defeated proves himself still dangerous, lurking beneath the surface of a perfectly happy Equestria.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 4 )

Pain killers are not cure, they are just temporary solution, and overtime he may need to eat more of them or they will just stop working and pain will return even stronger.

I do not think it is really a good reward since it wont last long.

2245161
There are actually cases where, for lack of an actual cure, painkillers are used to at least offer a symptomatic treatment. The goal must always be the cureof the immediate cause of the pain, but that's not always possible. Arthritic diseases may be an example.
In our world, anything resembling Lightning Manes case would have probably gone to the operating theater, rebreaking the crooked bones and allowing them to grow back together under a controlled environment - but for the sake of this story, I assume that Equestrian medicine is "just not there yet".

This review is brought to you by the group: Authors Helping Authors. Enjoy.
Name of Story:What Lurks in Equestrian Shadows

Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): 6
Pros:Great story, good feeling, and good pacing.
Cons:I think you should Tab the beginning of a paragraph, fix your spelling a bit (It is spelled Whether, not weether), and add some space between paragraphs.

Notes Section: When you fix these slight errors all your hopes and aspirations of becoming a good author will be closer than before, I assure you.:yay:

Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Bits

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